


Broken Toys

by astraplain



Series: Broken Toys [1]
Category: The Faculty (1998), Toy Soldiers (1991)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Multi, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-30 00:38:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 61
Words: 108,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3916669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astraplain/pseuds/astraplain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy Tepper has a new roommate, and he's not happy. A The Faculty/Toy Soldiers crossover that takes place a few months after the events of both movies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was started in 2002 and originally intended as a one-shot. Seven years later the final chapter was posted. Additional stories have been written in this 'verse, but this was the first. Posting it here in its original form with only minor edits for grammar.

Billy watched as his new roommate wiped the blood from his face. He cleaned himself up efficiently, with the air of someone who was used to being beaten and bloodied.

The kid threw away the wad of stained tissues and stripped off his shirt, tossing it aside without bothering to see where it landed. Pulling on a clean shirt, he took one last look in the mirror, not reacting to the battered image. A look in Billy's direction and he was gone, off to class before the bell rang.

With a sigh, Billy turned on his side and tried to study. Five minutes later he sighed again and closed the book.

Stupid kid.

Ignoring the rumpled bedding, stacks of books and piles of dirty clothes, Billy left the room in search of some diversion. He wasn't going to stick his nose into the kid's business. Definitely not.

"So what can you tell me about him?" he was asking almost as soon as he found his friends. They were outside enjoying the sunny January day, hands stuffed into pockets and breath making white puffs between them.

"Why the sudden interest?" Snuffy asked, sniffling. "When he got here three weeks ago, you didn't care if you even knew his name."

"Yeah, well, I'm sick of him bleeding all over the place. It's pathetic the way he gets beaten up all the time."

"I noticed," Hank said, frowning. Don't think I've ever seen him without some kind of bruise or cut. Who keeps messing him up?"

"Why?" Ricardo wanted to know. "I know he's the new guy, but it's kind of ridiculous."

"You guys really don't pay attention do you?" Snuffy said, smirking. "The kid's a celebrity. Cover of Time and Newsweek. People magazine even. Seems he saved his whole town from alien invasion."

"Get serious." Hank shoved Snuffy, laughing at his expression.

"Look it up if you don't believe me." Snuffy crossed his arms and leaned back. "Since you're so smart and all."

"Doesn't explain what he's doing here. Or why he's the new school punching bag."

"Sure it does. The kid flipped; went crazy in a bus station. Had to be dragged away in handcuffs. Tested clean for drugs so they figured he'd gone nuts - seeing aliens and all. I guess they decided he was the right kind of reject for this place. He doesn't put up much of a fight, though. Makes an easy target."

"And why is it you know all this?" Billy wanted to know.

"Just curious." Snuffy said with a shrug. "Can't be all bad if he defeated an alien by himself. What?" he demanded when they all rolled their eyes.

*****

Billy Tepper had gotten used to living alone in the room that he used to share with Joey. He didn't want a roommate.

The kid had moved in the day before the start of winter term, arriving alone with just a suitcase, a backpack and a camera.

Other than a few nice black and white photos and a stack of CDs, he'd made no effort to personalize his space. Nothing but the essentials on his desk and bureau, clothes all neatly folded in drawers or hung in the closet.

He rarely talked, which was fine with Billy, although the silence could be pretty unnerving sometimes, especially when Billy was sure the kid was looking at him. He had the freakiest eyes.

Mostly the kid just buried himself in his books, putting on headphones to let his music block out the world. On weekends he'd take his camera and disappear for hours. Billy wasn't interested enough to ask where he went.

The kid's taste in music wasn't too bad, Billy admitted. He'd checked out the stack of CDs when the kid was in class. Maybe he'd ask to borrow some once the kid calmed down a bit.

He was a jumpy little thing. He startled easily and didn't seem to sleep much. Once when Billy had approached him from behind, the kid had gone pale and backed away so fast he'd nearly tripped over the chair. Billy was sure the kid was going to pass out or something.

The second day of classes he'd come back to the room with a bloody nose and grass stains on his clothing. Instead of cursing and storming around, the kid had simply cleaned himself up and headed off to his next class.

When Billy had opened his mouth to say something, the kid had stopped him.

"Don't. Just... don't." And then he was gone.

Billy noticed that he'd left his camera behind, placed carefully on the desk. Billy looked at it, careful not to touch. It seemed like a nice camera, though Billy didn't know much about photography. The way the kid handled it though; you could tell right away that it was his most treasured possession.

There were a few blades of grass clinging to it and Billy was tempted to remove them, but resisted. Better not to touch. Not his business.

But now... if what Snuffy had said was true... It seemed that there might be more to this kid after all.

For now, Billy could make it his business to find out who kept beating the kid up. At least a half-dozen times now that Billy knew of, and it was only the third week of the term.

Leaning over the desk, Billy looked at the kid's class schedule. It was carefully pinned to the bulletin board along with a campus map.

"British Lit. With Sorens. Lucky you. Hope you can stay awake, kid."

The kid had a full schedule today. He'd probably be gone until late afternoon. Good. This was Billy's easy day and his one class had been cancelled because the teacher was ill.

Time to learn a few things about Casey Connor.

It didn't take him long to search Casey's few belongings. Uninteresting clothing, generic personal hygiene products, lots of film for his camera.

One of the film containers yielded $47 cash. A plastic cup held some change, mostly quarters.

Under a stack of jeans he found a paperback copy of Heinlein's "The Puppet Masters" with an inscription from someone named Stokely. Inside was a Polaroid of a group of teenagers with Casey in the middle, actually smiling. No names or dates. Not too old, though, as the kid looked the same there as he did now.

Nothing else of interest in the bureau. On to the closet. Billy knew where the loose floorboard was. He and Joey had used that space to stash a variety of things over the last few years. Now it was empty.

Okay. That means that Casey is either very smart, or he hadn't found it yet. Billy was willing to bet it was the first one. The kid would figure that Billy knew about the hiding place. So where...?

Nothing interesting in the desk or on the shelf. But... He grabbed his flashlight before pulling out the bottom desk drawer. He set it aside and directed the flashlight towards the back of the desk... yes!

There was a flat box, about the size of a small shirt box. Pulling it out carefully, Billy flicked off the flashlight and put the drawer back before taking the box over to his desk.

"Well, well, well..." Billy studied the contents of the box with interest. "Cover of Time, cover of Newsweek. People magazine...all last year. Just like Snuffy said." How'd I miss that? Oh... that was right after Joey... "What else is here? Oh, much more interesting photos... "

The sound of the feet approaching and the door opening didn't register until too late.

"No!"

Suddenly Casey was there, shoving Billy aside and gathering up the scattered contents of the box, making a futile attempt to hide what Billy had already seen.

"You had no right." Casey shouted at him, eyes filled with anger, hands clenched tight around his secrets. For the briefest of moments, Billy expected to be hit. Instead, those eyes glittered, filling with unshed tears.

Billy reached for him, wanting to offer an apology, suddenly ashamed at having invaded the kid's privacy.

Casey pulled away, backing up awkwardly. "Leave me alone." Only then did Billy notice the kid's bloody lip.

Something snapped. This had to stop.

He held up his hands, managing to keep his voice soft despite his anger at whoever was tormenting this boy.

"I'm sorry, Casey." he said, and meant it. "I'll leave you alone for a while."

He left, closing the door behind him, waiting for the expected click of the lock. Casey didn't disappoint him.

First stop was the library. A computer search yielded 19 entries for Casey Connor. The library holdings included 7 of the periodicals. He printed out the sheet and went to the stacks.

Seven tries, seven failures. Someone had carefully removed those particular issues from their binding leaving the other magazines undamaged.

Okay, on to the newspapers on microfilm. Again, someone had carefully sliced out those portions, splicing the film neatly so that the rest of the spool was undamaged.

Back to the computer for full-text and cross-referenced searches. Casey couldn't have removed everything.

An hour later he pushed away from the computer, a small pile of print-outs in his hand. Not much, but a good start.

He found Snuffy and Hank outside and got their attention. They moved away from the other students so no one would overhear their conversation.

"I want to know who's giving Casey a hard time and I want them to stop. Now. And I don't want the kid to know I had anything to do with it." he waited until they both nodded their agreement before continuing. "And I need make a visit to the town library."

"Think Dean Parker is gonna let us go on a field trip?" Snuffy wanted to know.

"Doesn't hurt to ask," Hank said, smiling.

"After the fact." Billy added. "You have anything planned for the evening?"

They shook their heads: no.

"Then it looks like we're taking a trip to the library."

*****

Ten minutes before curfew, Billy hurried into the room, red-faced, out of breath and frustrated that his trip to the library had yielded little information.

Someone had removed materials there just as in the school library.

He tossed his backpack down onto the bed, noting that some of the things on his desk and bureau had been moved. Either someone was clumsy, or they wanted him to know they'd been through his things. Most likely the latter.

He walked over and turned off Casey's CD player, ignoring the kid's angry glare until he took his headphones off.

"Find anything interesting?" Billy asked smugly.

"Define interesting," the kid replied evenly, then calmly opened his desk drawer and to reveal a pile of printouts. "Just studying some school history."

Under the printouts was a photograph. Casey held it out to him.

"You little..." It was Joey, shirtless, reclining on Billy's rumpled bed. Joey had called it the slut photo. Billy had taken it one lazy Saturday when they'd spent most of the day in bed. He always kept it well hidden. If the kid had found it, then...

"Just repaying the favor, Billy." There was nothing weak and soft about Casey now. There was only steel and daggers. "Don't worry; I didn't touch your drugs or booze. Just the interesting stuff."

Billy made a move for him, ready to kill, but the kid was brave or really stupid. He just stood there, not moving as Billy raised his hand. At the last second Billy stopped himself, spinning away from the sight of Casey's eyes and everything he'd seen in them; anger, fear, desperation.

After a long silence, Casey spoke, his voice steady, despite the tremble in his hands, clenched hard into fists. "Let's get this straight. You don't want me here. I don't want to be here. Neither of us have much choice. If I answer some of your questions, will you back off? No telling your friends, no rifling my stuff? Just... leave me alone."

Billy considered, watching the kid back away and take a seat in the desk chair. He had no idea why, but for some reason he no longer felt like ripping the kid apart. An odd feeling flooded him. Relief? Finally he nodded his agreement.

"Here's the deal. Question for question. I answer one, you answer one. Either one of us can refuse to answer a question. Deal?"

"Deal," Billy agreed, and for just a moment, as the kid smiled, it reminded him of Joey.

Casey settled back. "You can go first," he said calmly, although his hands were still clenched tight and his shoulders were tense.

"Okay, I'll start with an easy one: why are you here?"

"My therapist convinced my parents that I needed a change; thought I was developing an attitude problem. Next thing I know, I've got a one-way bus ticket to this place." The voice was steady but Billy could feel the kid's anger.

"Now you," Casey said after a moment. "Same question: why are you here?"

Billy smiled grimly. "Because they haven't kicked me out yet. Dean Parker made it his personal goal to see me graduate from his place. So here I am."

Billy leaned forward, ready for the real fun to begin. "Why were you on the cover of Time and all those other magazines?"

Casey nodded, he had been expecting this. "I'll give you the sound bite version. The whole story would take too long."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Well I don't feel like telling it. An alien took over my high school and most of the town. A group of us figured out something was going on, found a way to stop the creature, and killed it. The media found out about it. End of story."

Billy started to talk but Casey stopped him. "I read the news reports about the terrorists taking over the school. What's your version of the story?"

"Same thing; the short version. The father of one of the students is a judge. He sent a man to jail and the man's son objected. He intended to take the student hostage, but the FBI had already moved him. So the terrorists decided to hold the whole school hostage instead. We managed to overpower some of the guards so the Feds could take out the bad guys. We got lucky." He said the last sentence with heavy irony, then quickly asked his question before Casey could speak. "How did you find out there was an alien in your school."

"There were a lot of strange things happening that didn't make any sense. I tried to get my parents to listen but they thought I was just making it up to get attention - accused me of doing drugs. That's when the therapist started. But then I found this small creature. I took it to the science teacher to identify. He'd never seen anything like it. Later a group of us went back to look at it again and the teacher tried to assimilate us. Ze... one of the other students stabbed him with a pen full of a mixture of household chemicals. It killed the alien parasite inside of the teacher. That's how we defeated the alien itself. I trapped it behind the bleachers in the gym and stabbed it in the eye with a pen full of the chemicals. The alien was water-based and the chemicals dried it out."

Casey's face was expressionless, but his posture was defensive, his shoulders rigid. His voice was full of bitterness. "The media had a field day. First we're heroes, media darlings. My dad is suddenly my manager, pimping me to whoever will pay. He got a nice new car out of it, Mom redid the house. I got a therapist and an "image" to maintain. Reporters followed me everywhere and total strangers fell over themselves to be my friend. There was the book deal and the movie rights and talk of product endorsements. Until the lawsuits started. Suddenly I've got an attitude problem. The next thing I know I'm here."

"Yeah, next best place to the Ritz," Billy said, laughing. Casey smiled a half-smile and looked away.

"Do you ever think about... what would have happened?"

"What if we hadn't been able to stop Cali and his men? Yeah, yeah... all the time." Billy looked down at his hands, surprised to find them twisted together. Carefully he untangled them, spreading the fingers apart to ease the tension in his hands and wrists.

"What was the creature like?"

Casey shrugged, trying to look unconcerned, "It was a creature. Alien. Big and ugly. It could shape shift into the form of a human girl. MaryBeth. It had these things..parasites that burrowed into a person's body and took over, linking everyone to the creature so she could control them."

Unconsciously Casey rubbed at his face remembering the feel of the parasites burrowing into his skin.

"Did you? Were you infected?" Billy asked, somehow knowing the truth of it. Casey just nodded.

"Yeah," he said at last. "I was the last one. All the others were infected except Zeke and he was unconscious. I trapped the creature in the gym and stabbed it in the eye with Zeke's sc... chemicals. It spat these parasites at me - right in my face. I could feel them...digging in..." Casey looked away. "I don't know why I'm telling you this. I didn't tell this to anyone except Zeke. He's the only one..."

Billy blinked, watching as Casey seemed to collapse in on himself. He knew how the kid felt.

"How long were you... together?" Billy asked, sure that he already knew the answer.

A bitter laugh and Casey's expression hardened. "We were never together." His eyes narrowed. "My turn. Tell me what happened to you when the terrorists were here."

Now it was Billy's' turn to laugh bitterly. "Everything. I had the brilliant idea that we could stop them. My friends and I gathered all the information we could and I snuck out and gave it to the Feds. The terrorists did a head count every hour and would kill people if even one of us was missing. The Feds wouldn't let me go, they wanted to keep me safe. I had to run; I barely made it back. I pretended I had been in the shower and didn't hear the bell."

Billy paused his eyes sliding closed at the memory of what happened next. "Cali thought I needed to be taught a lesson. When he was done he sent me outside with the others as an example. The next day we defeated them and that was it. Over."

"What happened to the boy in the picture?"

Billy shook his head, his throat tight. "I'll answer if you tell me about Zeke."

Casey ran a hand over his face, considering. He was surprised at how easy it was to talk about this with Billy when he hadn't been able to tell anyone else. But there was something about him - something that made him a kindred soul. Slowly Casey nodded.

"All right." Billy swallowed hard. "But not one word of this to anyone. Not shrinks, parents, students, anyone. Got it? You repeat one word and I will kill you, Connor."

"It's Casey, and yeah, I get it. Same for what I tell you."

Billy laughed. "I have no idea why I'm telling you this stuff but it seems right. Okay." He took a deep breath. "Joey Trotta. My best friend. Cali was going to let him go. Joey managed to get a gun from one of the guards and tried to free us. The guards emptied their guns into him. Cali just let him lie there, walked right over this body like he was nothing."

"Did he... were you...?" The question was barely whispered but Casey's body seemed to vibrate with the importance of it, even though he couldn't say the words.

A shaky breath. "Yeah, yeah we were. We became friends the day we met. Best friends. And then we just... Everything was right when we were together. We were good for each other."

Casey looked away and Billy thought he saw the glitter of unshed tears in his eyes. He rubbed at the moisture in his own eyes. "You and Zeke?"

Casey looked back and there was pain etched in his face. "We were good for a few weeks but we never...just that night after the alien. Then the press got to him. He was so afraid of the reporters and their cameras. He wouldn't even look at me anymore. Out of nowhere he takes up with a teacher."

Casey closed his eyes and buried his head in his hands. "He joined the football team. Became friends with the neanderthals that slammed me into the flagpole and lockers and whatever else was handy."

A choked sob and then silence and finally, softly, "I went out with Delilah for a while - head cheerleader, my dream date since 6th grade - but as soon as the press found another story she found another boyfriend."

A laugh, "I was pretty depressed. Thought about killing myself a lot. My parents started searching my room for drugs or weapons. That's when the therapist suggested a change. Only this place is just like the last except there's no darkroom here - the one place that I could go and not be beaten up or humiliated. The one place where I could be happy."

He motioned at the photos on the walls. "And Zeke, he gave me a fake id and passport, loaned me money for a bus ticket. I thought he was going to help me. Instead, he ratted me out to my parents, who called the cops and had me arrested in the bus station like a criminal." He leaned back and closed his eyes before adding, "It would have been better if the alien had taken me."

"You don't mean that, Casey." Billy's voice broke and he had to clear his throat before continuing. "Look, I don't know what it's like. After the terrorists... I was pretty messed up. The dean, he talked to my parents, told them to keep me out of all that, didn't let the press near me. I hated it at first; they were camped just off the school grounds, watching for me. I felt like I was still a prisoner in this place. But it was better. It just took a while for me to realize that. See, Joey..."

Billy squeezed his eyes tight against the threat of tears. How could it still hurt so much just to say his name? And how could he possibly sit here and talk to this kid he barely knew about this?

There was a soft sound, a drawer opening and closing and then footsteps. A whisper of movement and then Casey was in front of him, a photograph in his hand, the edges slightly curled but the surface glossy, the image a soft-focus black and white of a young man standing by a car. Billy didn't have to ask who it was.

As he watched, Casey let the photograph fall and it fluttered to the ground. They stared down at it for a moment until Casey lifted his foot, intending to stomp on the photo. Billy reached out and caught his wrist.

"No."

They regarded each other for a moment, measuring each other. At long last Casey stepped back, the photo untouched.

Billy leaned down to retrieve it. He studied the image for a long time before returning the photo to Casey.

"Put it away for a while, Casey. Where you won't see it for a long time."

Casey nodded slowly, but before he could turn away Billy caught his wrist again. Two faint white scars were barely visible, but Billy ran his finger over the flesh, measuring the marks. Looking into Casey's eyes he held up his own wrists for comparison. He bore the same pale scars.

"Painful and messy but not fatal," Casey told him as if reciting. "An obvious cry for help."

"Or a way to feel something when you're numb."

"Did it help?" Casey wanted to know.

Billy just closed his eyes and shook his head.

Silence.

A whisper of warmth, a breath, then a touch. So soft it almost wasn't there.

Billy clung to it and opened his eyes.

And looked directly into Casey's.

Contact.

Another long silence, then nothing as they turned away from each other.

Casey put the photo away carefully, then returned to his studies, headphones on to block out the world.

Billy turned to look out the window.

It was dark outside, but too cloudy for stars.

There might be snow tomorrow, he thought, and wondered what Dean Parker would think about adding a darkroom.

::end chapter 1::


	2. Chapter 2

Casey never thought of himself as someone who hated birthdays, but after today he might just change his mind.

It might not have been so bad if mid-term break wasn't starting in a few days. All of his teachers were reviewing rather than covering new material and Casey already had straight A's. He'd practically memorized his notes for the upcoming exams. There was nothing left to distract him.

He could take some pictures, but he was down to his last roll of film and had no money to buy more or develop all the film he'd already used. He couldn't get used to the fact that there was no darkroom at this school, the one place he'd always considered a refuge.

He was tired of all his CDs and had already read all of his books. It was too late to go to the library and he didn't really feel like reading anyway.

Restlessly he wandered the room, randomly picking up scattered clothes and debris more for something to do than because he wanted to clean. Snatches of the phone conversation he'd had with his mother last night replayed in his head.

"Your father and I think it's for the best, Casey."

"We're taking a little vacation."

"You can use the time to study."

It didn't matter what he'd said, the decision had been made before she'd called. They didn't want him home for mid-term break and they were taking a vacation to avoid him. Hawaii. The one place his father swore he would never go.

So they got a week in paradise and he got this. Angrily he kicked at a stack of Billy's dirty clothes.

He wanted to be angry, to stay angry. It was easier that way. It kept him from thinking too much; wondering what he'd done to deserve exile and abandonment. Wondering what would happen in a few months when he graduated from this place. Thinking that he'd never be welcome at home again. Deciding that he must be an awful person to not even deserve a birthday. Because...because if no one remembered, or cared enough to call or send a card or anything, wasn't that the same as not having a birthday at all?

The anger faltered and tears pressed against his eyes. He wiped them away with harsh movements, refusing to give in to such weakness. It was weakness that caused him to be sent to this place to begin with. Life wasn't perfect in Ohio, but at least he had...

He stopped cold, laughter catching in this throat and almost choking him.

Zeke

Sometimes he marveled at his brain. Truly it was amazing the lengths to which it would go to allow such self-deception. He didn't have Zeke. He didn't have anyone. What difference did it make if he couldn't go home? There was nothing for him there. Better to start new here, to try for something more than the pathetic, downtrodden life he'd lived until a few months ago.

So what if his parents forgot his birthday? So what if there was no card, or phone call, or present? So what if he was reduced to borrowing and begging supplies because they forgot to send him the paltry $10 this month to buy soap and toothpaste and shampoo?

So what?

The moment of resolve faded and he looked up at the clock and sighed. Too early for bed, too late to go to town. And he didn't have any money anyway. Irritated, he walked to his desk and slammed his textbook closed, dropping it on the floor with the rest. He threw himself down on the bed, glowering at the ceiling.

If he was this bored now, what would it be like when Billy left for break? Stuck here for a whole week with no one to talk to and nothing to do.

The ring of the telephone startled him and he wondered how long he'd been lying there thinking of nothing. He let it ring a few times, tempted to just ignore it. He was in no mood to play secretary for Billy.

The phone kept ringing. Casey threw the pillow aside and stomped over to pick it up. "Yeah?" he said not caring if he sounded annoyed.

"Casey?"

Recognition sliced through him sending a shiver up his spine.

"Zeke?"

"Yeah. Listen, Case. I just wanted to see how you are. Wish you a Happy Birthday and all that."

"Oh. Thank you." As much as Casey didn't want to talk to Zeke he couldn't stop himself. Just the sound of his voice was enough to warm Casey from head to toe. A glimpse in the mirror proved he had a sappy grin on his face.

"You OK, Case? They treating you OK at that school?" Zeke's voice was like honey on sandpaper, smooth and sweet but rough underneath.

"Um, yeah. Yeah, it's OK. Just." Sentences, Casey, he scolded himself. You can do it.

"You coming home soon?" Was he just imagining the double meaning in that question?

"No, no. My parents think I need to stay here over break and study." He didn't try to hide the bitterness in his voice.

"Is that what you want, Casey?" The absurdity of that question made Casey laugh out loud. Since when did what he wanted matter to anyone? Bitter anger sheared through him and resentment for not being rich like the other kids here; for not having parents who even pretended to give a shit about him.

"What do you care, anyway, Zeke? You're the one that ratted me out. I could be in Canada now, instead of in this place. They don't even have a darkroom here." To his embarrassment, Casey felt tears tightening his throat.

"Do you really believe I betrayed you, Casey? You know how I... Why would I do that to you?" Zeke's voice was softer now. Soft and urgent, demanding an answer. If they were in the same room, Casey was sure Zeke would be gripping him by the shoulders, gently shaking him.

"You're the only one who knew where I was going. Who else could have told my parents?" He swallowed hard against the painful memory. "The cops dragged me away in handcuffs. Did you know that, Zeke?"

"I saw the photos, Casey. I'm sorry. But I didn't tell your parents. I would never hurt you like that. Never." Zeke's voice was whisper soft, with a bit of a quaver. Casey could drown in that voice, and for a moment he closed his eyes and just listened. But then he opened his eyes and forced himself to straighten up.

"Zeke. just don't. Look, thanks for the birthday call. You're the only one who remembered. But do me a favor and lose this number. You've got Miss Burke, you don't need me."

"Casey."

Casey hung up gently, whispering goodbye after the handset was back in the cradle. And he thought he couldn't possibly feel any worse today. Stupid. Stupid.

He paced the room again, finally losing the battle with himself and taking the photo out of its hiding place. It was the only picture he had left of Zeke. He'd destroyed all the others before leaving what he used to call home.

He felt like he was filled with something hard and terrible that was trying to force its way out, pressing painfully against his chest. He rubbed away the moisture in his eyes and curled up on the bed, pulling the covers up around his shoulders. He was so cold.

Zeke in the photograph was smiling. Casey didn't have to close his eyes to remember every detail of that day, when things had seemed perfect and life was something wonderful. But he always closed his eyes against the memories that came after, painful and heartbreaking, inseparable from the good.

If he allowed himself, he could even remember *the* night. Still tweaking on Zeke's chemicals and giddy from relief and victory it had seemed right to hug everyone and laugh with them. But when Zeke gathered him in his arms and they locked gazes, there was a jolt, a sudden knowing.

The night was nearly over when the school parking lot was empty and Zeke offered to drive him home. Fifteen minutes later they pulled into the driveway at Zeke's house. Without words Zeke led the way to the kitchen where he poured them both a glass of water. Their hands touched as he handed a glass to Casey. It shattered on the floor, unnoticed, as Zeke's lips closed over Casey's, stealing his breath away with sweetness.

Fingers found cloth and skin, exploring, as tongues twined around and pressed against each other.

It was a short distance to the bedroom but they managed to remove most of their clothing before reaching it. There was no hesitation or fear as Zeke gently uncovered the last bit of Casey's body, running his hands all over his soft skin.

Casey tilted his head back and moaned, the reality so much better than he'd ever imagined. Trying to follow Zeke's lead, Casey knelt to remove the older boy's boxers. On his way back up he couldn't resist the urge to lean in and give him a kiss on that sensitive spot just below the navel.

Zeke gasped and shifted making Casey smile. Standing again he pressed close to Zeke, gasping as Zeke gently touched his face.

"Have you ever?"

"No," Casey admitted shyly.

"We won't do anything you don't want to. Just tell me and we'll stop." He caught Casey's shoulders and made sure the boy was looking directly into his eyes. "I won't hurt you, Casey."

Casey nodded his understanding, sealing his agreement with an open-mouthed kiss.

The bed was unmade, the sheets rumpled but Casey thought it was the most comfortable place he'd ever been. Zeke lay against him, one hand softly caressing. Casey surrendered himself to the feeling allowing Zeke to lead and although there were moments when one of them hesitated, the other always managed to help him through with gentle words or caresses. Even through that eternity of pain into pleasure. The final moment was golden and they drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

The return to bitter reality broke Casey's control and he wept silently into his pillow, the photograph lying, temporarily forgotten on the edge of the bed.

*****

Billy opened the door carefully, not wanting to disturb Casey if he was sleeping or studying. The sight of the smaller boy curled up on the bed, body shaking with grief made him ache.

He understood all too well.

Not letting himself think, he quickly and quietly set aside his books and removed his shoes. Carefully he laid down on the edge of Casey's bed and drew the boy into his embrace.

Casey tried to pull away, opening his mouth to protest, closing it again when it twisted with barely contained sobs.

"It's OK, Casey. It's just me."

Unable to stop, Casey collapsed into the embrace, his back against Billy's chest. He managed to slide over to one side to make more room and felt Billy get more comfortable against him.

"I forgot the lights," Billy whispered, sliding out of bed. Moments later the room was dark and Billy was back. He touched Casey carefully, offering only what comfort the other boy would accept.

"Is this all right?" Billy asked as he shifted into a more comfortable position. Casey mumbled something that Billy took as acceptance.

"You can tell me in the morning if you want to, Casey. And if you want me to leave you alone tonight, any time, just say the word. Understand?"

Again the mumble.

Billy pressed his forehead against the back of Casey's neck and closed his eyes. If Billy let himself imagine, if only for a moment, he might even pretend that this was Joey.

With visions of dead or lost lovers in their minds, the boys slept.

::end chapter 2::


	3. Chapter 3

Casey's smile was captivating. Billy almost felt like laughing from the joy of seeing his roommate like this.

Dean Parker was smiling too, although it was more reserved, of course. He seemed to know what Billy was thinking because he waited until Casey was at the far side of the room examining the new equipment before speaking.

"This was a good idea, Mr. Tepper. I appreciate the generous donation your parents made. With that and the money we received from an anonymous donor we were able to purchase everything needed to set up this darkroom. The rest of the equipment will arrive next week."

"Funny how that anonymous donor knew exactly how much we needed. Any idea who it might be?"

"Do you know the meaning of anonymous, Mr. Tepper?" The faint smile ruined the dean's effort to appear stern. "The donation was earmarked specifically for darkroom equipment and supplies. The note also suggested that Mr. Connor's talents might be employed to oversee the equipment and possibly teach other students how to use it."

"Sounds like you're talking about a job, Dean Parker." Billy managed to look completely serious, but his eyes sparkled as he watched Casey open cabinets and examine everything. He'd never seen Casey so animated.

"I believe you are correct, Mr. Tepper," the Dean replied before raising his voice and adding, "If Mr. Connor could drag himself away long enough to discuss wages."

Casey set the bottle he was holding down carefully and turned, uncertainty on his face. "Sir?"

"Come with me, Mr. Connor. We have important matters to discuss. Mr. Tepper, perhaps you could actually consider attending class now. If you hurry, you'll only be 10 minutes late."

Billy flashed a grin at Casey and hurried off.

*****

Billy tilted his head and studied the photo from a new angle. It didn't help much. Well, at least he knew how Casey spent his time on weekends.

"Do you ever take normal photos, Casey or are they all this artsy weird stuff?"

"That's not weird, Billy, it's a double exposure. I was experimenting." Casey reached over and took the photo out of Billy's hands, setting it back on the pile carefully. He'd spent the entire day in the darkroom, emerging only for classes and when Billy dragged him out for meals. He made it back to the room just before curfew and was happily organizing his photos.

"Yeah, well next time don't smoke that stuff while you're taking pictures. There's not a thing here that looks like anything." Billy took up another stack and frowned at the image of grass tilted at improbable angles.

"I wasn't trying for a Kodak moment," Casey said, smiling too much to sound annoyed. He reached out and handed Billy a photo. "This one is for you."

It was an ordinary window, angled as if photographed from below and to the right. Reflected in the glass was a single cloud with just the edge of the sun behind it, and in one corner on the windowsill was a vase with a single lily. Billy studied it curiously, wondering what... oh. Barely visible beyond the glass were two silhouettes, embracing. It was almost haunting, one of those things that made you keep looking at it.

"Casey..." he looked up from the photo into those eyes and moved closer without conscious thought. Inches apart he whispered, "Thank you."

Casey touched his wrist, whisper soft touches tracing patterns over the faint scars.

It would be so easy to just... close the distance between them, with a touch, a kiss, words... fill the empty aching space with something good and right. But he was so...

"Afraid," Casey whispered, not a question, but a confession.

Billy saw his emotions reflected back in Casey's eyes. Fear, longing and need. Not love, but affection, and concern.

Billy balanced on the blade's edge of indecision. He didn't want to believe he could be so controlled by fear but...

Casey's lips were against his, not pressing or demanding, just there, soft and warm, waiting for acceptance or rejection. Risking, probably expecting rejection. Billy could feel the tension in the other boy's body.

Casey was bracing for the blow, expecting to be hurt. Deciding that he must, on some basic level, be deserving of so much pain. He'd lived like this for so long, he didn't know any other way.

Billy felt all of that in Casey as he tilted his head the slightest bit and responded, turning the contact into a full kiss, letting it deepen between them as he drew Casey into an embrace.

He ended the kiss gently, just letting the boy rest against him, savoring the warmth.

They leaned against each other until Casey pulled away, blushing pink and smiling shyly. Before he could speak Billy interrupted.

"Guess we should get some sleep. The warden will be around soon checking for lights-out."

"Yeah. Billy..." Casey met his gaze for a moment, then looked away. "Good night."

"Night, Casey."

Not another word was spoken, although it was a long time before either one slept.

*****

"Shouldn't you be packing or something?" Casey wondered, watching as Billy settled comfortably on his bed.

"Why? I'm not going anywhere."

"But, I thought you were going home for break." Casey looked confused.

"Not me. Parents had a change of plans, so I cashed in my plane ticket. Seems I need to go buy a camera." Billy almost managed to keep the grin off his face.

"Camera?" Casey looked skeptical. "Do you mean a real camera or one of those hunks of plastic that tourists use?"

"Why Casey, I had no idea you were a camera snob."

Casey shot him a look and picked up his own camera. "I saved every penny for almost three years to buy this. It's not the best, but it's a good camera. If you're really serious I could help you pick something good."

"Sounds like a plan. How's this, you help me buy a good camera and I'll treat us to lunch. Maybe some real pizza instead of the stuff they serve here. Maybe even some ice cream." He knew Casey loved pizza and ice cream.

"Deal. When do you want to go?"

"As soon as you get your skinny self dressed. You think I'm going into town with you looking like that?"

Casey looked down at his faded shirt and jeans stained with chemicals from the darkroom.

Billy watched as Casey changed into a different outfit, noting that the bruises that had once colored his back and chest were almost gone, just a few patches of fading greenish yellow remained. As Casey straightened Billy realized that he wasn't slouching anymore, and his head was level, not bowed. Billy couldn't stop the smile that curved his mouth.

"What?" Casey asked, smiling back at him. "You look like you're plotting another raid on the science lab."

"Who told you about that?" Billy demanded, finally getting off the bed and putting on his shoes.

"You're not exactly quiet stumbling around in the dark at three a.m. Besides, you need to find some new hiding places if you expect to keep things a secret."

Billy just stood there, mouth open. He'd been so sure...

"Well, come on. You need a camera and I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry."

"And your point would be?"

Billy shook his head and laughed, trailing along behind Casey. "Keep walking, kid. I'll think of one eventually."

*****

"Up there."

"You're kidding." Billy squinted up at the thick branches reaching high over his head.

"No, you can get great shots from up there. Come on, I'll show you." With graceful movements Casey swung himself up into the tree and climbed. Two-thirds of the way up he stopped and settled on a branch, leaning back against the trunk of the tree.

"You take the other side," he instructed as Billy struggled up behind him, red-faced and panting. "You'll be able to get the church steeple and the library. Nice contrast shots."

"You're crazy, Casey. You climb up here every weekend?"

"No, not every weekend. I like it up here, though. You can get some interesting effects, and you can see everything and no one can see you. You're like a ghost or something, just watching and taking pictures." He turned to look around the trunk at Billy who was frowning through his viewfinder and fiddling with the camera. "There are other places, too. Not as high as this, if you'd rather."

"Nah, I hauled my backside all the way up here, I might as well sit here for a while. It is kind of nice."

They sat in silence, just relaxing and watching the people move far below. After a while, Billy started to feel drowsy and wondered if this is where Casey did most of his sleeping, since he still didn't sleep well at night.

"Casey?"

"Hmm?"

"Maybe we should get down? I'm falling asleep here."

"Oh, okay." Casey's voice was languid and Billy smiled.

He let the smaller boy lead, following carefully. They were nearly down when the roar of a car engine nearby startled him and Billy looked down in time to see it turn into a parking place nearby. Nice car...

"Casey!"

The boy cried out as he slipped, falling hard against the lowest branch, one hand cradling his camera protectively even as the other hand tried to stop his fall. He dropped heavily to the ground and lay still.

Billy scrambled down as fast as he could. His mind was already slipping into panic mode at the sight of the motionless body.

People were approaching from different directions as Billy knelt beside Casey. There was a bloody scratch on his forehead and his left leg was bent beneath him. Even unconscious, he still clutched the camera.

"Casey, Casey, come on. Wake up." Billy touched his shoulder carefully, wanting to shake him, but not willing to risk hurting him.

Someone was kneeling beside him now, and Billy spared him a glance before returning his attention to his friend.

"Casey."

Billy looked up again, shocked. The dark-haired young man looked at him and nodded a greeting before carefully lifting the unconscious boy.

"Shouldn't we wait for an ambulance?" Billy asked, watching as he stood and carried Casey towards the parking lot.

"Can you direct me to the hospital?" His eyes were intense, his jaw set, and Billy knew.

"We'll go together, Zeke." He held the door while Zeke lay Casey on the back seat. Climbing into the car, he pointed in the direction of the hospital.

"You're his friend?"

"Billy Tepper. We're roommates."

Zeke's hands tightened on the wheel. He leaned forward slightly as if trying to make the car go faster. They rode the rest of the way in silence.

*****

Billy stared down at the two cameras in his lap, unseeing. Across the room Zeke paced restlessly, his body so tense that it hurt to look at him.

What could be taking so long?

Casey was still unconscious when Zeke carried him into the emergency room. He placed him gently on a gurney and watched as they wheeled him into a room and closed the door.

Then came the questions and forms. Billy stood by while Zeke reeled off answers, like Casey's home address, phone number and his parents' names. Billy wouldn't have been able to answer any of them.

He hadn't even had the sense to think of insurance, and had to stand aside feeling stupid and useless while Zeke efficiently took charge of Casey's possessions and extracted the insurance card from Casey's wallet.

The most Billy could do was give them the Dean's name and school phone number before picking up Casey's camera and putting the strap around his neck. He didn't trust himself not to drop it.

He sat by Zeke for a while, unable to think of anything to say but thank you. The way Zeke looked at him made him feel like a bug under a microscope.

Dean Parker arrived, a hint of worry slipping through his usual expression of calm control. He spoke to Billy and Zeke briefly before disappearing into the administrator's office. He was still in there, and Billy had a funny nervous flutter in his stomach. Something was seriously wrong.

He rubbed a hand over his face and blinked, trying to clear his mind. The sound of Casey's body hitting the ground played over and over in his head.

"Hey," Zeke dropped into the chair next to him. This close, it was impossible to miss the worry and fatigue that lined his face.

"He'll be OK. Casey's tough." Billy wasn't sure why he felt compelled to reassure him, especially since he wasn't so sure himself.

"I know." Zeke looked away, pretending to be interested in a magazine lying on the table beside him. His fingers drummed a rhythm on his leg.

"I don't think his camera got damaged," Billy offered after a while, mostly because the silence was driving him crazy. There was only one other person in the waiting room and he was stretched out across a row of seats, sleeping. The tension was enough to make Billy want to scream.

"No, Casey'd break his own arm before he'd let his camera fall." Zeke reached out and took it from Billy, studying it. There were some scratches on the casing, but it appeared to be undamaged.

"You a photography nut too?"

"Me? No, I just bought this today. Casey was showing me one of his favorite places to take pictures." Billy looked down at his new camera. Beside Casey's older model his was sleeker and shinier. It made him feel bad without knowing why.

"Look, Zeke, it's probably none of my business, but what are you doing here?" Billy looked up, meeting and holding Zeke's gaze.

"I needed to see him. I need to make him understand." Zeke closed his eyes and slumped back into the seat, Casey's camera held tight against him. "He thinks I did something to hurt him, but I couldn't..."

"He thinks you told his parents that he was at the bus station, planning to run away." Billy held himself still, allowing Zeke to study his face. He felt the tension between them and realized that Zeke was afraid.

"I didn't," Zeke said sharply.

"He misses you." Billy measured the words carefully, watching Zeke's reaction. For just a moment there was a spark of hope, bright and painful, and then it was gone, replaced by a well-practiced facade of indifference.

"Don't do that," Billy hissed, suddenly angry. "Don't pretend that you don't care or you'll chase him away for good."

"What do you know about it?" Zeke retorted, eyes angry but voice soft.

"I know what it's like to lose someone and never be able to get them back. I didn't have a choice, but you do. So don't be stupid." Tears burned, but Billy fought them back. He would not show weakness now. Instead he took a deep breath and changed tactics.

"Look, you came all the way from Ohio to see him. You've got one chance to get things straightened out between you. Don't screw it up."

Zeke looked away, then down at the camera, studying it, head bowed.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay."

"Mr. Tepper?" Dean Parker approached, his expression grim. "Mr. Tyler." He shook Zeke's hand. "You are a friend of Casey's from Ohio? Would you please join me? There's something we need to discuss."

The dean led the way to a small conference room. A doctor and a policeman were already seated, waiting for them. When everyone was settled and introductions made, the doctor spoke.

"First, Casey is fine. His leg is broken, but it's a clean break and should heal without any complications. What is of more concern are older injuries, some of which did not heal properly. Are either of you boys aware of any... incidents in which Casey was injured?"

"Billy," Dean Parker leaned forward, "are you aware of Casey ever being involved in a fight? Perhaps being harassed?"

Billy looked around nervously at the doctor, policeman and the dean before his eyes settled on Zeke. He saw shame and sadness in those dark eyes.

"Casey was picked on when he first arrived. A few bruises and scrapes. Nothing serious as far as I know. It stopped."

Dean Parker nodded and the policeman made notes on a tablet.

"Mr. Tyler, you went to school with Casey in Ohio? Were there any incidents there that you are aware of?"

"Yeah," Zeke's voice faltered and he coughed to clear his throat before trying again. "Casey had some trouble with people at school. He had a lot of bruises and bloody noses."

"Are you aware of any trouble between Casey and his parents, Mr. Tyler?"

Zeke held up his hands. "I think you should ask Casey that question. All I know is that Casey doesn't go looking for fights. He barely knows how to defend himself."

The doctor and policeman exchanged looks and the policeman wrote something on his tablet before nodding to the dean. Parker escorted them back to the waiting room.

"Casey's being kept overnight for observation. You can visit in the morning. Mr. Tepper, can you get back to school or do you need a ride?"

"I'll drive him, Dean."

"Thank you, Mr. Tyler. It's nice to meet you. I wish it were under better circumstances."

"Dean, couldn't we see him just for a minute? Please?" Billy tried not to sound desperate, but he couldn't stand the thought of walking out of the hospital without seeing Casey.

"I suppose it would be all right. Follow me." Parker lead the way through the maze of corridors. Casey had been moved to a private room. Parker waited in the hall as they entered the room.

Casey's eyes were a bit unfocused as he watched them approach. He held his hand up in greeting and managed a wavery smile.

"Hey, Casey. How are you?"

"OK. Feels like I'm drugged to the eyeballs, though."

"Yeah, you look kind of out of it." Billy touched his hand then stepped back, letting Zeke move forward.

"Case."

"Zeke? What are you...?"

"Sh. Relax, Case. It's OK." He leaned close and gathered the boy in a gentle hug. Casey returned it, one-armed. After a moment, Zeke eased him back to the bed and adjusted his blanket.

"Sleep. We'll be back in the morning. Want us to smuggle you some donuts or something?"

Casey nodded, eyes watering.

"Bye, Casey."

They closed the door on the way out.

*****

The ride back to the school was quiet. Billy held the cameras on his lap and thought about how small and pale Casey looked all alone in that room. Beside him, Zeke tapped a rhythm on the steering wheel and looked grim.

"You can come in if you want, Zeke. I'll give you the grand tour." Billy tried to make it light and failed. He felt heavy and tired.

"Show me where Casey spends his time."

"OK." Billy managed a smile. The darkroom was in the basement, and it hadn't been the cleanest room in the school, but Casey had swept and scrubbed it until it met his approval. The new equipment shone in the soft light and the bottles of chemicals were lined up precisely on the shelves.

"Nice." Zeke wandered the room, touching things here and there as if he were familiar with darkrooms. The small, secret smile gave him away.

"Casey's not here to thank you, Zeke. So I'll do it for him." Billy gestured at the equipment. "Casey needed this."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Zeke replied mildly, still smiling.

"Of course not, Mr. Anonymous. Come on, I'll show you where we live. Watch out for the piles of clothes, though."

"You got anything to eat in there?"

"No, but we can order some pizza."

"Sounds good. Whoa, you ever heard of washing machines here?" Zeke followed Billy into the room, weaving his way around the piles of clothes and books.

"Never do laundry until you run out of socks." Billy placed Casey's camera in the center of his desk, making sure the strap didn't hang over the edge. It was a relief to set it down, knowing that it was safe here.

Zeke settled on Casey's bed, looking a bit awkward, as if he wasn't sure he should be here.

"Do you have somewhere to stay? You could stay here." Billy said it fast, before he could change his mind. He couldn't explain it, but he was sure that Zeke had not betrayed Casey and he felt as if he needed to help the two of them reconcile.

"Do you think he'd mind?" For just a moment, there was none of the self-confidence that Zeke had worn like armor since Billy met him. Now there was just the tired, vulnerable teenager, seeking assurance.

"Not at all. And I'd appreciate the company. I've gotten used to having a roommate." Billy smiled, realizing how true that statement was. "I've had enough of being alone," he admitted at last.

Zeke looked up at him, understanding.

Billy called to order the pizza, and they waited, looking forward to morning when they would bring Casey home.


	4. Chapter 4

Even his scream wasn't enough to block out the sound of Casey's body hitting the ground. Billy felt his heart racing as he struggled to get to his unmoving friend. Tree branches pulled at him, trapping him. The more he struggled, the harder the branches gripped him.

Red tinted the ground beneath Casey in an ever growing pool...

"Billy! Wake up!"

Billy flailed his arms, partly awake, partly trapped in the nightmare. He was gasping for breath and his vision was blurry.

"It's OK, it's OK. It was just a dream."

Billy blinked, trying to sort out reality. Finally he was able to place the person standing over him.

"Zeke?"

"Yeah. You were having a nightmare. Pretty bad one." Zeke took a seat on the edge of the bed, keeping one hand on Billy's shoulder. "Want to tell me about it?"

Billy shook his head; he couldn't possibly find the words. Not with the dream image of Casey's death and the real memory of Joey's so fresh in his mind.

"It's OK. Maybe later? For now, would it be okay if we just sat here for a while?"

Billy nodded mutely and accepted Zeke's arm as it drew him closer. After a few minutes Billy rested his head against Zeke's shoulder. They didn't speak for a long time.

"Sometimes..." Billy hesitated, not sure if he should admit this, deciding to anyway. "Sometimes, when I have a bad nightmare, Casey comes and holds me for a while. Only when he thinks I'm asleep, though. So sometimes I pretend to be asleep. He's always gone by morning. He doesn't sleep much."

"Do you have a lot of nightmares, Billy?" Zeke's voice was so soft, and he was moving slightly now, easing back on the bed and pulling the blanket over them both.

"Not as many as I used to."

"Casey has nightmares, too. I didn't... I wasn't there for him like I should have been. I could have stopped him before..."

"You know about... his scars?" Billy held up his wrists.

"Yeah." Zeke touched the scars. "Like these." He shifted and studied the other boy, as if looking for answers.

"I thought it was the solution, a way to feel something again. No one could have made me believe any different. I had to learn it for myself. Just like Casey did." He closed his eyes, looking painfully tired and old. "I think Casey would tell you the same thing if you asked. Don't blame yourself."

"I let him down. He trusted me and I turned him away." There was loathing and anger in Zeke's voice and his body tensed.

"But you came back." Billy reminded him, turning onto his side, shifting to get more comfortable. He pressed his back against Zeke's body and stared into the darkness for a long time.

When he woke in the morning, Zeke was gone.

*****

"What are you doing out here?" Billy asked sharply. He was still in his sleepwear, the t-shirt and shorts rumpled and his shoes were untied. He hadn't bothered with socks.

Zeke blew smoke towards him and shrugged. "Couldn't sleep." His face and body revealed the truth of the statement. He looked like he hadn't slept in days.

"You better come back in for a while, man. You look like you could crash for a week."

"Just need some caffeine. Want to go get some breakfast?"

Billy checked his watch. "You're kidding, right? It's not even 7 a.m. We can't see Casey til 10." He reached out to touch Zeke's arm but the boy moved away and took another drag on the cigarette. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong, Billy." Zeke glared at him with fierce eyes and Billy took a half-step backwards. Zeke relented a little. "Just...I'm just tired."

"So don't be a jerk. Come on, let's go back to the room and get some rest. It was a long night."

Zeke took another drag on the cigarette and stared up at the sky. It was going to be a gloomy day, the sky was gray and it looked like rain. After another minute he dropped the cigarette and ground it out with his foot. Without speaking, they returned to the room.

*****

"You want to tell me what happened last night?" Zeke asked as he took another sip of the coffee. It tasted like sludge but at least it was hot and caffeinated. He could feel his brain starting to wake up.

"The nightmares?" Billy looked down into his can of soda as if it contained answers. They were at a corner table in a donut shop, killing time until they could go to the hospital and see Casey. They'd each managed to catch a little more sleep but neither was rested.

"I guess I owe you some kind of..."

"You don't owe me anything!" Zeke snapped, then smiled apologetically and shrugged. "Sorry. Travel lag or something."

"S'ok. No, I'll tell you. Might help you understand how much I appreciate your help last night." Billy downed the last of the soda and winced as the cola bit at his insides, the sugar racing through his system. "Last year, about the same time you were fighting aliens, we were fighting terrorists who had taken over the school. My friend..." He caught Zeke's eyes to make sure he understood. "The dreams are usually about him; the guns and the blood. But last night it was Casey lying there with blood everywhere."

"I'm sorry," Zeke said softly. "And I'm sorry about your friend."

"Thanks," Billy whispered, turning his head away to look out the window.

They didn't talk again until they were at the hospital.

*****

"I'm sorry, but Casey needs to remain here another day." The nurse was sympathetic but stern.

"Can we at least see him? We've been waiting almost two hours." Billy tried not to sound desperate, but if he had to sit here in the waiting room with Zeke much longer he'd go crazy. The other boy's mood had turned sullen when they'd been refused access to Casey's room, and he was getting moodier by the minute.

"The police are with him now. I'll come get you when they leave and you can visit for 15 minutes." When Billy looked like he was going to protest, she added, "That's the best I can do."

"OK. Thank you. We'll be right over there." He pointed to Zeke and the empty seat beside him. The waiting room was busy today and there weren't a lot of empty chairs.

With a sigh, Billy returned to his place and relayed the message to Zeke. The older boy's hands twitched almost as if he wanted to hit something and his jaw tightened. He didn't say anything, just turned his head away.

*****

"Case." Zeke brushed past Billy and took a seat on the edge of Casey's bed. "Brought you donuts." He presented the battered bag.

"Hi Casey," Billy said, walking around the bed to stand on the other side. Casey looked better, though still pale, but there were faint smudges of exhaustion under his eyes.

"Thanks. I'm gonna save these for later." Casey set the donuts aside after peeking in the bag. "I'm so glad you came. I'm stuck here another day and they're driving me crazy with tests and questions. I can't wait to get out of here, even if it is on crutches."

"What kinds of tests, Case?" Zeke reached out and touched the boy's hand, just resting his fingers over Casey's, savoring the contact.

Casey found a point on the wall to study as he answered, unable to look at either of his friends. "They think... there are some ribs that didn't heal correctly and possibly some nerve damage. The police were here asking about my parents." Tears filled Casey's eyes, but he wiped them away quickly, mouth twisting. "What difference does it make?" he asked angrily. "Everything was OK here. What good will it do to drag things up now?" He clenched his hands into fists and clenched his jaw. "Why can't they just leave me alone?"

"Did you ask them that, Casey?"

"Yeah, but I'm still a minor, and the hospital has to report any cases of suspected child abuse." Casey laughed. "They think my parents hit me."

Billy moved closer and leaned over. "Do they hit you, Casey?"

"No," Casey laughed bitterly. "They don't touch me at all." He tried to hide it, but his eyes gave him away; the loneliness, the rejection, the sense of being unloved and unlovable.

Zeke reached for him but Casey pulled away. The scope of his failure hit Zeke hard; he was just one more person that Casey loved who'd betrayed him. He rose and stumbled back a step, misery on his face.

Zeke saw the confusion and hurt on Casey's face, watched as it hardened, then melted into that too familiar whipped puppy expression.

Zeke was rooted to the floor, motionless and voiceless, forced to watch as Billy moved forward and touched Casey. Cracking as Casey responded to Billy. Shattering as Billy pulled Casey up for a hug. Dying as Casey brushed a kiss against Billy's cheek.

He left the room without saying goodbye.

*****

"I thought you left," Billy said as he approached Zeke in the hospital parking lot.

"Just needed some air." Zeke refused to look at Billy, focused on unlocking the car and climbing in instead.

"I think you need more than air. Come on, take me back to the school. I have just what you need." Billy barely had time to close the door before Zeke stomped on the gas pedal and roared out of the parking lot.

"Slow down before you get pulled over."

Zeke muttered something under his breath but he did slow down.

"I'm sorry about what happened back there, Zeke. It's not... It's not what it looked like."

"So I'm supposed to believe you're not fucking him?" Zeke snarled refusing to look at Billy.

"We kissed once, okay twice if you count the one at the hospital. Nothing more." Billy felt a surge of anger and couldn't stop himself. "What's it to you anyway? You fucked him once then left him. Tossed him aside for a teacher."

"You don't know anything about it."

"So tell me. Casey's my friend, Zeke. Convince me that you didn't come here to hurt him and I might be able to help."

"Yeah, you'll help. You'll help me right out the door."

"Whatever. Look, just... get us back to the school. You're exhausted and I've got something that will help you sleep." When Zeke looked like he was going to argue, Billy added, "Where else do you have to go?"

Zeke turned hard into the school parking lot and slammed on the brakes. He pounded on the steering wheel and looked like he wanted to tear something, or someone, apart.

Billy got out and stood off to the side, just waiting. He was too tired for this shit.

After a minute, Zeke turned off the car and got out. Slamming the door closed he turned and followed Billy, muttering curses.

Back in the room, Billy locked the door and lifted the floorboards in the closet to reveal one of his favorite hiding places. He pulled out a bottle of vodka and replaced the floorboards.

Without a word he filled two small glasses and handed one to Zeke. They emptied and refilled them before either one felt calm enough to speak.

"Look, you don't have to believe me, Zeke. But Casey and I are just friends." He looked down at the marks on his wrists. "We understand each other."

"Yeah, yeah. OK. It's just..." Zeke took a swallow of the vodka and grimaced, tilting his head back as it burned a path down to his stomach. "It's not fair."

"What's not fair? That you keep messing things up with Casey? Well then do something to fix it." Billy sipped his drink, eyes closed. After a long silence he added, "You know what's really not fair? Stuff that can't be fixed, like Casey having crappy parents that didn't notice or didn't care that he was getting beaten up all the time. Like Joey being set free and then getting himself shot. That's what's not fair."

"What was Joey like?" Zeke moved his chair closer to Billy's and leaned forward, elbows braced on knees as he waited.

"Joey..." Billy swallowed hard and set his almost empty glass aside. He didn't trust his hands not to shake and drop it. "Joey was just... beautiful. Tall, thin, dark-haired and smart. He had a temper, but he also had a wicked sense of humor. And he could draw. Could have been an artist, but he didn't really have the patience. He was up for anything, anytime. I wouldn't have lasted a week here without him."

Zeke refilled Billy's glass and held it out to him, waiting patiently as Billy took it and drank.

"Joey made this place tolerable. We pulled some outrageous stunts together, good stuff, not mean. Joey didn't have to know the whole story before he went along. He trusted people; he trusted me. I'd never really had that before." Billy looked into his glass, as if searching for answers. "My parents are OK. They're not together anymore and they just didn't know what to do with me. They tried, really tried, but I just never seemed to fit in. Once I met Joey, fitting in didn't matter so much. He helped me make friends here. Something else I'd never had before."

Billy looked out the windows at the rainy afternoon and frowned. Why couldn't it be night already, when he could crawl into his lonely bed and pretend to sleep?

Zeke was wandering now, idly opening desk drawers and looking at Casey's belongings. He found the photo of himself and stared at it for a long time, a haunted expression on his face.

"So how'd you know the school needed money for a darkroom?" Billy asked, mostly to lighten the mood.

Zeke shrugged. "Called Case a few days ago on his birthday. It was the first time I'd talked to him since he came here. But I'd been here before, at the school. Came with Miss Burke back in January. Even saw Casey walking to class but he didn't know I was here."

Zeke gestured impatiently when Billy started to ask a question, then continued when Billy nodded. "I called the dean the next day and found out that your parents had already donated money for a darkroom and he just needed enough for a few more pieces of equipment and some supplies. I have earnings from some, ah... business ventures, so I sent the dean what was needed along with the suggestion that he might find a job for Casey. Thought it would give Case a way to fit in."

"That was good," Billy said enthusiastically. "You know his parents barely remember to send him anything, and when they do it's not even enough to buy toothpaste and shampoo. I know they aren't rich but you'd think they could do better than that."

"You haven't met them." Zeke said, his eyes darkening, and his fingers curling around the photo he still held. He returned it to the desk carefully while he talked. "Casey and I weren't really friends until a few months ago, but we knew each other - it's a small town. Casey was always getting kicked or tripped or slammed into something, usually by the football players. The kid always had cuts and bruises, sometimes he could barely walk. His parents, the teachers, they all ignored it. And the students, including me, never did anything to stop it."

Zeke shook his head, then downed the rest of the liquid in his glass. "His father's this perfectly normal guy, except with Casey. Case told me that he skipped second grade because his father demanded it. Casey was smart enough, but he was smaller and younger than all his classmates and some of them learned to use that against him. His father was always yelling at him and pushing him around so Casey didn't know that what the other kids did to him was wrong; he never learned to fight back. By the time he understood, it was too late."

"I thought Casey said that his father didn't touch him."

"He doesn't. After the alien was destroyed...Casey stayed over that night and we spent a lot of time talking. He asked all these questions about my parents, like it was so fascinating that they travel all the time and that I never see them, and that I was raised by nannies and maids and whoever else they could hire to take care of the kid while they did important things, til I got old enough that I didn't need a nanny, and then they just left me alone."

Zeke set the empty glass aside and stood, pacing again. "Anyway, Case told me that it sounded just like his house, only difference was that his parents didn't bother to leave. They just pretended he wasn't there, unless there was something they wanted to yell at him for. He said that his father barely spoke to him because he wasn't a star football player. And his mother... she just goes along with the father. You know they didn't even remember his birthday this year?"

Billy shook his head sadly, this was getting to be too much and he just needed to stop and do something else for a while. Like eat. He grabbed the box of pizza left over from the previous day and offered Zeke a slice. It didn't look all that appetizing, but they ate it anyway.

Much later, the pizza was gone, the sky was darkening and they were working on the last of the vodka. Casey's artsy weird photos were spread out across the bed and they were seated next to each other, picking out the ones they liked and giving them names.

"Hey, how about 'Grass is scary'?" Billy suggested, pointing out that photo of grass at improbable angles.

Zeke snickered. "Grass isn't scary. If it's the right kind of grass, it's not scary at all." He grinned.

"Hate to disappoint, Zeke, but smoking anything in here would be a really bad idea." He gestured with his glass. "Not that they'll be serving this in the cafeteria any time soon." He took another sip, then giggled and tilted sideways, his head landing on Zeke's shoulder.

Without thinking, Zeke put an arm around Billy's back. Billy stayed there, sipping until his glass was empty, then humming tunelessly.

Zeke worked on emptying his own glass, absently running his hand up and down Billy's back until his brain realized what he was feeling.

"What's that?" He asked, using his fingers to define the length of the slight ridges that angled across Billy's back.

"S'nothing." Billy said, trying to move away. Zeke caught him and wrestled Billy, managing to slide his shirt up his back, exposing scars. They were faint, but still easily visible.

"Don't, don't, come ah..." Billy's protests turned into a moan as Zeke leaned down and breathed against one of the scars. Liking the response, he exhaled warm breath down the length of the scar, then moved to the next one.

Billy shivered and slid down, making himself more comfortable. Zeke paused a moment, then quickly downed the last swallow from his glass. Setting it aside, he gathered up Casey's photos and stashed them in the desk.

Billy sat up, uncertainly watching as Zeke stood and stripped off his jeans and t-shirt, then Billy made a decision and stripped down to his boxers also. He rearranged the bedding, barely remembering that this was Casey's bed. He lifted the blanket and waited for Zeke to rejoin him.

Turning onto his stomach Billy shivered as Zeke's body pressed against his side, that warm hand returned, tracing the faint pattern on his back. He closed his eyes, just letting the sensations flood his brain, remembering the feel of Joey's hands.

"You going to tell me about these?" Zeke asked at last, his lips close enough to brush against Billy's ear and make him shiver.

His brain fully intended to refuse, but his mouth was already moving, forming an answer. "Cali, the terrorist. It was my punishment for being late for a head count."

"Must have hurt," Zeke said sympathetically, leaning down to press a soft kiss against the deepest scar. He stroked Billy's back for a long time, until Billy was almost asleep.

It felt so good, it didn't even matter that his brain couldn't rationalize it. Billy just accepted the contact, letting it soothe the deep ache he didn't even realize he had. He missed Joey so much.

Surrendering completely, Billy drifted off to sleep.

Zeke smiled at the sounds of Billy's soft snores, his hands still moving softly over the other boy's back. The skin was darker, the body broader, but if he closed his eyes he could pretend, if only for a few minutes, that this was Casey. That he was offering the care and tenderness that Casey needed and deserved.

That he was needed.

When he could no longer keep his eyes open, Zeke settled down on the pillow, his arm resting softly across Billy's back. There was a smile on his face and he was comfortable and warm.

No nightmares disturbed their peaceful slumber.


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as he tried to roll over Billy knew he'd made a mistake. He clamped his mouth shut and directed what little coherence he had towards calming his stomach. His head would just have to wait and explode later.

Something heavy was pinning his legs and there was a line of damp heat along his back.

From somewhere behind him there was a groan.

"Man, what kind of lighter fluid were we drinking last night?"

Billy lay very still and tried not to think about it. His mouth felt fuzzy and disgusting and his head was still planning to explode, probably soon.

A few more minutes of stern do-not-throw-up messages to his stomach and Billy was ready to risk moving. He sat up slowly, closing his eyes against the sight of everything wobbling.

Another round of instructions to the stomach and he was ready to risk gravity and other hazards by standing.

So far so good. Another 20-30 minutes and he might even be able to risk taking a step or two.

Somewhere off to his left, there was more groaning, followed by the sounds of movement. Finally Billy risked activating that explosion by turning his head.

Zeke was sitting on the edge of the bed, head in hands, and a definite green tinge to what Billy could see of his face.

Note to self: never ever drink vodka again.

Another groan and Zeke launched himself upright. He looked miserable.

Forcing himself to pull it together, Billy managed to get to the desk and retrieve the breath mints and the aspirin.

He downed the aspirin, then started chewing some mints. He'd need a lot of them today, and just had to hope that...

Someone knocked on the door, then called, "Mr. Tepper, are you awake?"

Dean Parker!

Billy popped more mints into his mouth and chewed fast. He shoved the tin of mints and the bottle of aspirin at Zeke and motioned for him to take them.

While Zeke complied, Billy shoved the empty bottle and dirty glasses into his dresser and closed the drawer.

As soon as Zeke shoved the aspirin and mints under Casey's pillow, Billy walked over and opened the door.

"Morning, Dean. Is something wrong?"

Parker took two steps past Billy into the room and frowned. "Do you mean something other this mess and," he sniffed and made a show of leaning closer to Billy, "whatever it was that you've been drinking?"

Billy took a step back and looked at Zeke, who shrugged.

"I didn't come here for an inspection, fortunately for you, Mr. Tepper. I received a call from the hospital; Casey is being released this morning. I thought you and Mr. Tyler might want to give him a ride. I have a meeting at the hospital that may take a while and didn't want Mr. Connor to have to wait. He's very anxious to come back to school."

Parker looked sternly at Billy. "I will expect you to be on your best behavior, Mr. Tepper. Casey needs rest and the next few weeks may prove difficult for him. I do not expect there to be any problems or I will be forced to relocate you. Is that understood?"

Billy nodded carefully.

"And you, Mr. Tyler. I have no objections to your staying here during break, but as of Monday morning the term resumes and guests are not permitted during the week. Mr. Tepper, see the custodian about getting a cot in here for Mr. Tyler."

Parker paused in the doorway and turned, adding, "and get this room cleaned up, Mr. Tepper. How do you expect someone on crutches to navigate in here?"

The dean pulled the door closed behind him.

*****

"Casey?" Billy walked into the hospital room first while Zeke hung back, standing just inside the door.

The two of them had barely talked since Dean Parker's visit. Billy wasn't sure if it was hangover or embarrassment that kept Zeke silent and he couldn't read his body language well enough to tell.

"Hey, you came to spring me from this place?" Casey smiled at Billy, then looked over at Zeke, the smile faltering a little.

"Zeke?" He held out a hand. "I'm sorry about yesterday." He waited, then started to draw back his hand, sadness darkening his eyes.

Billy turned, wanting to do something to make Zeke realize that he was being a jerk, but the other boy's expression stopped Billy cold. So much fear, confusion and longing.

Slowly Zeke moved towards Casey, stopping just out of arm's reach. His voice was rough when he finally spoke. "Don't apologize, Case. I was acting stupid."

Casey held out his hand again, and smiled. This time Zeke reached out to him, just holding his hand, savoring the warmth.

"So, what do we need to do to get you out of here?" Billy asked after a moment. He busied himself with retrieving the crutches.

"Gotta use the magic escape button," Casey replied, pressing the call button by his bed. After a few minutes, the nurse arrived.

"Ready to go, Casey? OK, just wait here and I'll have someone bring a wheelchair."

As soon as she was gone, Billy slipped out of the room. A minute later he returned, a little breathless, pushing a wheelchair.

"Ready to make a run for it?" he asked, making a show of being secretive.

Zeke scooped a laughing Casey up out of the bed and set him in the wheelchair. Billy snatched up the crutches and played lookout with exaggerated motions.

Ten minutes later they were running through the parking lot, laughing. An orderly was chasing after them, but by the time he caught up Zeke had already settled Casey in the car. Billy smiled his most charming, innocent smile and thanked the orderly for the use of the wheelchair. They were still laughing as Zeke drove away.

*****

"What did you do?" Casey demanded, looking around the room, appalled.

"Don't worry, Case. We didn't really clean, we just stuffed everything in the closet."

Casey maneuvered awkwardly over to the bed and eased down onto it. His leg was throbbing and his arms were shaking with fatigue, but he'd insisted on walking rather than letting Zeke carry him. It was going to take some practice before he'd be able to get to his classes like this, so he might as well start now.

Zeke sat down beside Casey and drew the smaller boy close. "Rest a minute, Case, then we'll help you get changed and you can sleep if you want."

"No," Casey said tiredly. "Could use some food, though."

"Pizza's on its way. I'll be getting frequent buyer points or something this week." Billy said, laughing as Casey eyed the empty pizza box beside the trashcan.

"Don't worry," Billy added, grinning. "I told them to skip the anchovies this time."

Casey just groaned and settled more comfortably against Zeke.

*****

"He's sleeping. No, I.... No. No. I can't do that. I'm sorry, Mr. Connor. I'll give him the message." Billy hung up slowly, looking over at Casey. He'd woken up during the call and now he was looking at Billy expecting answers.

Zeke was nowhere to be seen, probably out for a smoke. Casey was just as glad he hadn't been there to hear the phone conversation. It would just upset Zeke, and Casey couldn't deal with that right now.

Billy pulled the desk chair over and dropped into it, looking a bit battered. Casey knew the feeling; talking to his dad had the same effect on him.

"They're still in Hawaii, Casey. They're trying to rearrange their flight to bring them directly here rather than Ohio. They'll arrive on Sunday afternoon."

Half a week. Casey felt a little of the tension go out of his back. He'd half expected them to show up any minute.

Billy seemed to know what Casey was thinking. He reached out and touched Casey's arm. "You OK? Need anything?"

Casey thought about it for a moment before responding. He blushed lightly and looked away, shaking his head. "No, I'm just gonna... you know... I'll be back." He winced as he pulled himself up awkwardly, struggling a bit with the crutches. "Might take a while," he added with a rueful grin.

Billy watched him move slowly across the floor, biting his lip hard to stop himself from asking if Casey wanted help. To distract himself, he straightened Casey's bedding.

*****

Casey was halfway back from the restroom when Zeke returned, triumphantly waving a brown paper bag. "Field trip, Case?" he asked, matching his pace.

Casey rolled his eyes. "Yeah, world tour of school restrooms. Really fascinating."

"Somebody's grumpy," Zeke said, a glint in his eyes. He shoved the bag at Casey then scooped him up, ignoring Casey's protests. One of the crutches fell, echoing noisily and Zeke left it behind.

"Stop complaining," Zeke scolded as he deposited Casey on his bed. "I'll go get it in a minute. Just couldn't wait all day for you to hobble down the hall. The ice cream would melt."

"Ice cream?" Casey stopped his protests immediately and started to open the bag. "What flavor?"

"It's a surprise," Zeke countered, snatching the bag away. He set it on the desk and went to retrieve the lost crutch.

When he returned, he opened the bag and took out three styrofoam dishes and spoons. He handed one to Billy before carrying the other two over to Casey's bed and taking a seat. He made a show of choosing which container he wanted before handing the other to Casey.

"Sundaes?" Casey dug into the treat immediately. "Mmmm," he said through a mouth full of marshmallow and vanilla ice cream.

"Well don't get used to being waited on," Zeke teased. Billy nodded in agreement and kept eating.

*****

"You sure about this, Case?" Zeke eyed the narrow steps nervously. "I don't want you to break your other leg."

"So one of you walk in front, one in back. That way you'll either catch me or I'll land on you."

"Gee, thanks Casey," Billy griped with good humor. Taking one of the crutches he led the way down the stairs to the darkroom. Casey had insisted on going, and walking rather than being carried, calling it practice.

"I'm not going to let a little thing like a broken leg keep me away from the darkroom," he'd insisted, and neither of his friends had the heart to refuse him.

Casey gripped the railing hard, his face set as he concentrated on moving from one step down to the next. Billy kept pace in front, Zeke in back, both staying just far enough away that they could catch Casey if he faltered.

By they time they reached the bottom of the staircase, Casey was sweating and his face was pale. He refused the suggestion to rest and the offer to be carried, insisting he had to do this himself to build up his strength.

Zeke was ready to argue, but a sharp reminder from Billy that he'd be leaving in a few days stopped Zeke cold. He trailed along behind them in silence, barely aware of where they were going.

"Here it is." Casey's enthusiasm pulled Zeke out of his dark thoughts. He'd give anything to see that smile more often.

"Okay Billy, ready for darkroom techniques for beginners?"

Zeke snickered, his eyes locked onto Casey's and Casey blushed. "Didn't know you had a title for it, Case." Unable to resist one second longer, Zeke closed the distance between them and claimed Casey's mouth.

Billy watched them for a moment, a spike of envy hard in his chest. They looked beautiful together, and he felt ugly and dirty for intruding. He turned to leave when a hand reached out to stop him.

"Don't go," Casey pleaded, looking ashamed. "I'm sorry."

Billy saw a look of anger flash across Zeke's face, but as Casey turned towards Zeke it was replaced by a half-smile. "Yeah, no more distractions. Promise."

Casey stepped back, looking at them a bit uncertainly, sensing something different than what he was seeing and hearing. After a moment he shrugged and busied himself with the necessary equipment.

As he started explaining the film developing process to Billy, Zeke slipped out of the room unnoticed.

*****

"I feel like I've been run over by a bus," Casey confessed, dropping down onto his bed. It was late and he hadn't taken his pain medication.

"Hey," he greeted Zeke who was sitting at Casey's desk reading a magazine. "Where'd you disappear to? I thought you'd want to see Billy's pictures."

"Maybe later, Case. I needed some quiet time."

"Snuck out for a smoke," Casey translated. "Next time?"

"Yeah," was the neutral reply, but Zeke was looking at Billy when he said it.

"I forgot to ask the custodian for a cot." Billy said suddenly, not catching Zeke's look. "I guess somebody gets the floor."

"No way." Casey protested. "Can't sleep on a cold hard floor." He thought for a minute, then looked up, smiling. "Zeke, help me out here." He levered himself up and moved away from the bed towards Zeke. "We could put the two beds together. Plenty of room for the three of us. Tomorrow we can arrange for a cot."

Oblivious to the tension between the other two boys, Casey started rummaging around in his desk drawer for some string. Finding it, he turned to Billy, who was closest. "Here, we can tie the bed legs together with this so they don't slide apart during the night."

When they were finished, Casey nodded his approval. "Plenty of room." He yawned widely.

"I gotta crash," he told them before heading down the hall to brush his teeth. The others followed along without speaking.

When they returned, Casey had Zeke brace him as he pulled off his t-shirt and struggled with his jeans. The one pant leg had been cut to allow for the cast but it was still tricky getting them off. Between the three of them they finally managed it and Casey dropped into bed clad only in his boxers. The other boys stripped down as well and turned out the lights, settling in with Zeke in the middle.

He leaned over and kissed Casey good-night before lying down. Behind him he felt Billy shift restlessly and sigh. A few minutes later, Casey was sound asleep but Billy was still restless. Slowly Zeke turned and reached out, resting his hand gently against Billy's back. He felt the boy tense and waited. After long minutes, the tension eased. Zeke stroked Billy's back until Billy fell asleep.

Turning over again, Zeke leaned his head against Casey's shoulder. He watched the younger boy sleep for a very long time until Billy shifted and moved closer. Surrounded by warmth, Zeke finally slept.


	6. Chapter 6

Casey could hear his father yelling over the phone from all the way across the room. With a sigh, he slid out of Zeke's embrace and hobbled slowly over to Billy.

Billy gave him an apologetic look and pulled a chair over for him. Casey's leg was throbbing and his head and chest hurt. By the time his father had finished shouting and hung up, there wasn't a part of Casey that didn't feel battered.

Shrugging off Billy's well-meaning touch, Casey made his way slowly to the dresser and grabbed a t-shirt. He had to struggle to get it on, but he refused their offers to help. He didn't want them to see his tears.

Without a word Casey headed for the restroom, desperately needing a few moments alone. He could hear Zeke and Billy's urgent whispers and tried hard not to listen. He didn't want to know what they were saying. He just wanted to be alone.

He let the water run in the sink, watching it for a long time, letting the sound soothe him. He'd scrubbed his face, driving back the tears, but he felt hot and miserable, like there was something dirty inside that he couldn't get clean. 

Leaning against the wall, he stared at his reflection, his father's ugly words playing over and over in his head.

"I don't know what kind of lies you've been telling those people, Casey"

"You'd better get things straightened out before I get there or I'll straighten you out."

"Maybe I ought to have that shrink lock you away for a while. That ought to give you a better attitude."

Casey felt the tears start again and he clenched his fists hard, driving the ragged edges of his fingernails into his palms. How could he go back to the room and face Zeke like this? How could he face Billy? They'd see how pathetic he was and then Zeke would leave, and Billy would go back to ignoring him.

He didn't even want to look at himself anymore, so he turned, trying to get away from the mirror. But he didn't have a firm grip on the crutches and one slipped. For an agonizing moment, Casey tried to catch himself, putting weight on the broken leg without thinking. Agony tore through him and he lost his balance, landing hard. Specks of gray and black danced across his vision and he struggled to catch his breath. Despair pressed down on him and he surrendered to it, lying helpless and sobbing on the bathroom floor.

*****

"What do you know about it?" Zeke demanded, stepping close to Billy, hissing the words into his face.

"More than you do, Zeke," Billy hissed back, refusing to be intimidated. "He needs to be left alone for a few minutes. You can't protect him from this. He has to learn to defend himself."

With an inarticulate cry, Zeke turned and shoved the chair out of the way. Stomping across the room he dug into his jacket pocket and grabbed the pack of cigarettes and his lighter. Pulling on his clothes, he stomped out, slamming the door behind him.

Billy kicked at his shoes, wishing the piles of clothes weren't all stuffed into the closet. They came in handy when he needed to kick something.

He dressed quickly and pulled on his sneakers, heading out for a run. Casey needed to be alone. Fine. Zeke wanted to be alone. Fine. They could just leave him alone too.

*****

Dean Parker walked down the hall slowly, trying to decide what to say. He'd just had a very unpleasant conversation with Casey's father and felt that he needed to see how the boy was doing. He was surprised to find the room empty. He was also a bit surprised by the new arrangement of beds, but that wasn't important right now. He needed to find Casey.

Returning to the hall, he started towards the stairs, then stopped and listened. He heard someone swearing in the restroom. The sight of Casey Connor struggling to his feet, face wet and eyes red but jaw set in determination almost made him smile. He was right about Casey; the boy wasn't a quitter.

Without making a fuss he placed a hand under Casey's elbow and helped him up, asking if he was alright. When Casey nodded yes, the dean stepped back, letting Casey gain his balance. The two of them walked slowly back to the room where the dean insisted Casey take a seat and prop his leg up. Once the boy was settled, the dean took a seat across from him and started talking.

"I spoke to your father this morning, Casey. He was very upset."

Casey looked away and felt color heating his face. He didn't want to do this; he didn't want to answer the questions he knew would be asked.

"You've done very well in cooperating with the police. Would you please answer a few questions for me? I'd like to try and help if I can."

Casey nodded slowly, his eyes not quite meeting the dean's. He desperately hoped that Billy and Zeke would stay away for a while.

"First, I need to know if you've made any plans for college?"

Casey blinked, he certainly hadn't expected that question. Slowly he shook his head.

"Why not?"

"I don't... there isn't any money for college. I need to work for a while to save the money for tuition."

"Did you even apply to any colleges?" When Casey shook his head, no, the dean demanded, "Why not?"

"No money for applications." Casey looked down, embarrassed.

Parker closed his eyes and just worked on breathing for a moment, careful not to show any anger or frustration. Casey was a bright and talented young man, how could his parents ignore his potential? He knew that money wasn't really an issue; they'd had to provide a financial statement as part of Casey's enrollment application. When he was under control, Dean Parker said, "Do you want to go to college, Casey?"

"Yes." It was whispered, as if the boy were revealing a deadly secret.

"Did you have one in mind?" A shake of the head, no. "Do you know what you'd like to study?"

"Photography," Casey said, with a hint of enthusiasm breaking through.

"Did you know that State College is just a few miles away? They have an excellent art program."

Casey nodded carefully, as if admitting something he shouldn't.

"It just so happens that I know the dean of admissions there. If I get you an application, could you have it filled out and have it back to me by Friday?" When Casey looked like he might protest the dean added, "Don't worry about the application fee. I'll take it out of your first paycheck."

Casey smiled and agreed.

"Good. Now, do you have a portfolio?"

"No." Again, Casey looked down, as if he had done something wrong. What must his home life have been like that he was so ashamed of his obvious talent? The dean had made a point of asking Casey to bring some examples of his work to his orientation interview, and he had been impressed by what he had seen.

"Pick out a dozen or so of your best photos. I've got a small portfolio you can use; it's not the best but it is in good condition. You'll need that when you interview at the college.

"Yes, sir." Casey fought hard to keep his voice neutral, not allowing himself to get his hopes up. It was all happening too fast, and things had a way of turning sour when his father got involved.

Dean Parker leaned closer and Casey felt his stomach turn. Here it comes...

"Casey, there's something else I need to discuss with you. I don't need an answer right away so take some time to think about it. Understand?" Casey nodded, his shoulders tensing.

"You'll be graduating in a few months, and we'll be without anyone to run the new darkroom. I've spoken to the headmaster and he gave approval to hire someone to run the darkroom and teach photography, starting this summer. The salary is small so we're looking for someone with darkroom experience who is working on their teaching certificate; say a local college student."

Casey was leaning forward now, excited.

"The actual salary isn't much, but it would include an allowance for college expenses, and temporary room and board could be included if needed. The hours would be flexible and you'd have unlimited access to the darkroom of course. Think you'd be interested, Casey?"

"Really? I mean, yes!" It was all he could do to stop himself from giving Dean Parker a hug. He could take one or two classes a semester, and he would have some money and a place to stay. He wouldn't have to return to Ohio at all.

The dean stood up. "Stop by my office sometime this afternoon. I'll have the application and the portfolio for you." Casey nodded his agreement and started to get up. "No, stay there, Mr. Connor. You should get some rest while you can. You'll be very busy the rest of this semester."

Dean Parker paused at the door, turning back to Casey. "I could arrange for a room on the ground floor Casey. It would make it easier for you to get to classes."

"No thank you, sir. This room is fine." Casey gestured towards the windows. "I like the view."

"Very well then. I will see you this afternoon, Mr. Connor. Dean Parker closed the door quietly on his way out. Alone in the hallway, he allowed himself to smile.

*****

"Mr. Tyler, are you aware that smoking is not allowed on school grounds?"

"Yeah?" Zeke replied, making a show of taking another drag on his cigarette.

Dean Parker sat down on the step next to Zeke and waited. Finally the boy dropped the cigarette and crushed it out with his foot.

"I've had several interesting conversations with a Miss Burke about you, Mr. Tyler. She believes that you are a very intelligent young man who is not being challenged by the curriculum in your current school. She feels that a smaller school, one that allows time for more individualized study would better suit your abilities."

"And what does that have to do with anything?" Zeke asked. He'd heard the speech before and wasn't impressed. He didn't particularly care about anything Miss Burke might have to say. He knew he couldn't trust her; she was the one who'd told Casey's parents that he was at the bus station. Zeke hadn't known it at the time, but she'd overheard him talking to Casey about going to Canada. Zeke didn't find out until Casey had been sent away.

Miss Burke - he refused to use her first name now - had invited Zeke to accompany her on a weekend trip to Virginia. He didn't find out until they arrived that she was going to Casey's new school. She'd spent several hours in the libraries removing all the materials she could find about Casey and what had happened with the alien. When Zeke had tried to stop her, the ugly truth had come out; she was jealous of his relationship with Casey. She'd been almost frighteningly calm about it, but the wild look in her eyes, and the way she dug her fingernails into Zeke's arm had shaken him badly. When they'd returned to Ohio, he'd broken off their relationship and had made every effort to avoid her ever since.

At first, she'd left long, rambling messages on his answering machine, then she'd tried threats and finally pleading and crying. She drove by his house at night and sometimes even parked in the driveway and just sat there for hours. Zeke took to wandering the house in the dark, checking the locks almost compulsively. He only slept for a few hours at a time, curled up on the floor of his bedroom with the gun nearby.

Then, without warning, the calls and the visits stopped. It made Zeke more nervous than ever, and he found himself looking forward to going to school so that he would be around other people, as long as he could avoid her. A few weeks ago he saw her kissing a student in the parking lot.

Zeke hadn't bothered to replace the lab equipment that Delilah damaged when she was controlled by the alien. He just wasn't interested in dealing homemade drugs and selling bootleg videos anymore. He spent long lonely nights driving around, with nowhere to go and nothing to do. Thoughts of Casey intruded more often until he no longer tried to resist them. They brought him the only peace he had.

Finally he couldn't stand it any more. He never meant to hurt Casey, he just hadn't been able to deal with all of the dizzying new feelings and the constant attention from the press. It had been too much after a lifetime of perfecting his place as the outsider who didn't need anyone. Zeke decided to do whatever it took to make things right. He planned this trip and then waited for Casey's birthday to make the call. As soon as he'd heard Casey's voice Zeke realized just how foolish he'd been to turn him away.

Casey's comment about not having a darkroom gave Zeke an idea and the next day he called and spoke to the dean. It took a good portion of the money he'd made selling scat but it was worth it. He decided that he had to see Casey again so he'd packed and left immediately. Now he was here, sitting next to Dean Parker and wondering when he would stop messing everything up.

"Do I have your attention, Mr. Tyler?"

Zeke turned to look at the dean, nodding weakly.

"As I was saying, the Regis School doesn't normally allow transfers during the second semester, particularly for seniors. However, the school is always looking for bright, motivated students. I could make the necessary arrangements for you to complete your senior year here if you would be interested. Of course I would need your parent's permission. The tuition would be pro-rated, and I happen to have a senior room that's listed as a triple that only has two students in it at the moment."

Zeke's eyes narrowed as he searched the dean's face for some indication of his intent. It couldn't be this easy.

"I'm not doing you a favor, Mr. Tyler. I expect every student here to do their best and I don't tolerate people who break the rules." He reached over and took the cigarette from Zeke. "That means no smoking or drinking. Is that clear?"

Zeke nodded, not sure how he felt about what was being offered. Could he really do this? Wouldn't it be easier just to stay here until the end of the week and then go home?

He turned, looking up towards where Casey was probably waiting for him. It might not be that difficult a decision after all.

*****

"Mr. Tepper, would you join me, please. I'd like a word with you."

Billy took the towel from his neck and wiped his face. He felt better after his run; his mind was clearer and more focused. He fell in beside the dean and together they walked towards the dean's office.

"I've spoken to the guidance counselor, Billy. He tells me that you've only applied to one college."

"Yeah, what's wrong with Notre Dame?" Billy asked, grinning. He'd only applied to be a smartass.

"Nothing. However, given your academic record, you might want to consider an alternative or two in case you don't get accepted to Notre Dame."

They entered the dean's office and he settled into his desk chair indicating that Billy should take a seat across from him. Billy complied easily, glad for a moment's rest. Maybe the lack of sleep was getting to him after all.

"Here are three copies of the application to State College. It's a good school with some excellent academic programs. I've already asked Mr. Connor to complete one and return it to me by Friday. I included one for Mr. Tyler in case he would be interested."

Billy took the applications, frowning. "You're assuming I'll actually graduate, Dean."

"I'm not assuming anything, Mr. Tepper. I have every confidence that I will see you receive your diploma this spring. You wouldn't want to be left behind when all of your friends go to college."

Billy nodded. Yeah, he was looking forward to getting out of here.

"Thanks, Dean," he said, standing.

"Please take this to Mr. Connor. It will save him the long walk to my office later." Parker handed Billy a brown leather folder.

As he took it a price tag fluttered to the floor. Billy picked it up and handed it to the Dean, who actually looked a little flustered.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention this," he gestured with the price tag, "to Mr. Connor. He's expecting something... less new."

Billy smiled. "He won't hear it from me."

*****

"Finished?" Billy asked, looking up as Casey leaned back in his chair and stretched.

"Finally. I hate filling out applications. How about you?"

"Just the essay and I'm done." He looked around the room. "Zeke's not back yet?"

"No, he said he needed some fresh air. He's probably looking for some good places to smoke around here in case he decides to transfer."

Billy felt Casey watching him and finally looked up. There was worry in those blue depths and a funny set to Casey's mouth, as if it were caught somewhere between smiling and crying.

"Is it OK if Zeke...? I mean... do you mind if he transfers here?"

"I don't mind, Casey. Zeke's OK." Billy was very careful to keep his voice soft. He really didn't mind, at least he didn't think he did. Zeke was all right, just a bit overprotective of Casey. But then, Billy might have been more protective of Joey if he'd known... 

He stopped that thought fast. Not going there, not now. Not with gentle, vulnerable Casey sitting so close, watching him with worried eyes.

"Sometimes he doesn't think about things first, he just says them or does them." Casey said, turning his gaze towards the window, a wistful smile curving his lips. "He doesn't mean to hurt anyone, Billy. He's just..." Casey turned back, his eyes dark with some undefined mixture of emotions. "I'm sorry if he said or did anything to hurt you."

"He didn't Casey. He cares about you and he's trying to protect you. He's just new at it, so he's learning." Billy closed his eyes, seeing another dark-haired boy instead of Zeke. Maybe that's what made everything so hard, he realized, Zeke's so much like Joey.

Casey's hand brushed against Billy's face and he sighed. Billy didn't want to open his eyes and see this room without Joey's things, or see Casey's eyes instead of Joey's. Couldn't he just stay like this?

"Billy?" The voice was closer now and there was the heat of another body close to his own. A movement and another whisper-touch against his face, warm and soft.

"Don't do this, Casey, please." he begged, still refusing to open his eyes. "Don't be so nice to me. You're not mine to love."

A sharp intake of breath, then heartbreaking silence. Finally a voice, so quiet and sad.

"I'm sorry."

Movement. Receding footsteps. The sound of a door closing.

Quiet. Solitude. Billy thought he might drown in it. He lay his head down on the desk, resting on his folded arms.

Only then did he feel the tears.

*****

"Hey," Zeke said, smiling up at Casey. The smaller boy was seated on the front steps, eyes focused somewhere far away from there. Slowly the focus came back and he turned to watch Zeke climb the stairs.

"Hey," Casey replied as Zeke sat down beside him. "Good walk?" He could smell the cigarette smoke thick on Zeke's clothes and skin. He tried not to cough and failed. "You better do some laundry. Not gonna fool Dean Parker smelling like that."

"Yeah?" Zeke asked, trying to pull Casey in close for a one-armed hug. Casey resisted and after a moment, Zeke let him go.

"Zeke, can I ask you something? It's serious." Casey's eyes were troubled and Zeke shifted to be able to look directly at him.

"Always, Case."

"Do you..." He started to look away, then straightened and looked directly into Zeke's eyes. "Do you love me?"

The naked want, the way Casey's body tensed, expecting to be rejected, it wounded Zeke deeply and he drew in a ragged breath, trying to steady himself before he responded.

Slowly he reached out, trying not to react as Casey flinched expecting pain. Zeke placed one hand against Casey's face, trying to pour every good feeling he had into that touch.

"Yeah," he said softly, struggling to find words, knowing that he needed to say them for himself as much as for Casey. He leaned closer, his eyes never leaving Casey's. "More than I could ever tell you."

Casey's eyes filled with tears and Zeke no longer had a voice. He wrapped his arms around Casey and held on tight.


	7. Chapter 7

"No!" Casey shouted. He was inches from his father, staring up into that unforgiving face. He felt dizzy and sick. Rage was building deep inside his chest. "I said, I'm not leaving."

"And I said to get yourself packed. Now!" Casey's father took a half-step closer and towered over the boy.

Some part of Casey still believed this wasn't real; that he would wake up safe in Zeke's arms and they would laugh over such an absurd dream. But it wasn't a dream at all, more of a waking nightmare. 

He and Zeke had stayed on the steps a long time, just holding each other. Finally it had gotten too cold and dark to remain and they'd returned to the room. Only Billy wasn't alone; Casey's parents were there waiting for him. His father started ordering Casey around as soon as he laid eyes on him. He demanded that Casey pack. They were pulling him out of school and taking him back to Ohio. Back to everything he'd escaped from. Casey had refused and now his father was furious.

Zeke and Billy were close by, anger vibrating through them but they were mercifully silent for now, waiting to come to Casey's side if needed. 

Casey's mother stood aside also, her face a neutral mask. There would be no help for Casey from her.

Casey straightened and looked directly at his father. "I'm staying here and finishing the term."

"I said," Casey's father's voice was dangerous now and it sent chills up Casey's spine. "Pack. Now." He turned and stomped over to the closet, returning with Casey's suitcase which he flung down onto the bed. "If I leave here without you, Casey, you will no longer have a home to return to. Ever. Now get moving."

Casey sat down on the edge of the bed and crossed his arms. "I'm not leaving."

"Look you little faggot," his father raged, face flushed and hands clenched into fists. "I've had enough of this. I'm not paying good money for you to play house with your queer little friends. You're coming home where I can get you straightened out."

"Dad, I..."

"Don't you call me that. No son of mine sleeps like this," he gestured wildly at the beds which were still pushed together. He looked at Casey like he was staring at something foul and disgusting. "With other boys."

"Mr. Connor..." Billy stepped forward wanting to diffuse the situation only to earn Casey's father's wrath.

"Stay out of this," Mr. Connor snapped. "You're probably the one that corrupted him." He turned towards Zeke. "And you, I don't know what you're doing here but if I ever catch you near my son again, I'm calling the cops."

Zeke stepped forward menacingly, body taut with anger. Desperately Casey moved between them, trying to distract them.

"I have a job," Casey said quickly, changing the subject before things became even uglier. "I can't leave, I have a job."

"Doing what?" his father demanded.

"Photography. Teaching the other students how to develop photographs."

"Photography," Casey's father sneered. He caught sight of the camera on Casey's desk and picked it up. "That's what started this nonsense in the first place; taking pictures when you should have been playing sports." He lifted the camera higher, his intent clear. "I should have done this a long time ago."

"No!" Casey's scream was echoed by Billy and Zeke. Casey's mother gasped. Zeke lunged, but was a fraction of a second too late. The camera hit the floor with a sickening sound.

*****

Dean Parker entered the room at a dead run. He'd been making his rounds when he heard the raised voices. Taking in the tableau, he made his decision. He had to get Casey's parents out of the room immediately. He would have to trust Billy and Zeke to take care of Casey.

"Mr. and Mrs. Connor," he said, a bit breathlessly. "I'm Dean Parker. I wasn't expecting you. It's almost curfew and no visitors are allowed on the halls after hours. Please come with me and I'll be glad to assist you in any way I can." He managed to place himself between Casey and his father, mindful of the camera on the floor.

"I'm not going anywhere other than home," snapped Mr. Connor.

"I understand how anxious you must be to settle all of this, sir. I'm sure you would like to meet with the people at child services first thing tomorrow. Do you have a hotel? I can recommend several very nice ones nearby." The dean slowly moved the parents towards the door.

Casey's father was resistant, then he turned and glared at Casey for a long minute, ignoring the dean. Abruptly he turned his back on his son. "Yes, let's get this matter cleared up. They've obviously made a mistake; I have no children."

Brushing past the dean he beckoned to his wife and quickly left the room, never slowing or looking back.

The dean saw the look of shock on Casey's face and wished he could help but right now it was more important that he get Mr. Connor out of here before more damage could be done.

Casey's mother moved silently to follow her husband, then stopped. She knelt down and picked up the camera. Very carefully she placed it back on Casey's desk. She looked at Casey, then looked away, her mask slipping for just a second, revealing pain and sorrow.

For a long time, the only sound was the echo of receding footsteps.

*****

"How is he?" Billy whispered, standing close to Zeke, his eyes on Casey's rigid form. The boy was sitting ramrod straight at his desk. The camera lay untouched in front of him. It was almost dawn and Casey had been sitting there for hours, not responding to anything.

Zeke gestured for Billy to follow him out of the room. Moving a short distance down the hall they stopped, speaking in urgent whispers so as not to be overheard.

"He's not... you don't think he'll try to hurt himself again?" Zeke's eyes were full of fear and he was unable to keep his hands still. He brushed his fingertips against the scars on Billy's wrists.

"I don't know, Zeke. We're just going to have to watch him for a few days."

"Yeah, yeah, okay." He frowned at Billy. The shorter boy looked terrible - hollow-eyed and exhausted. "Look, why don't you try to get some sleep? I'll look after Case."

"Okay," Billy conceded, knowing he was too exhausted to stay awake much longer. The initial shock had worn off and now he felt heavy and slow. "Two hours, no more. If I'm still out, you wake me. You need rest too, Zeke."

Zeke nodded his agreement and returned to the room while Billy went to get ready for bed.

"Casey?" Zeke entered the room, not surprised to see that Casey hadn't moved. Zeke spoke softly, moving to kneel at Casey's side. Carefully he touched the boy's arm. "Case, your skin is like ice." He rose and walked to the bed. Taking one of the blankets, he returned to Casey's side.

"Up you go, Case. This will warm you up." He lifted the unresponsive boy to his feet, bracing him so there would be no weight on his injured leg. Once the blanket was wrapped tightly around Casey, Zeke picked him up and carried him to the bed. Sitting down on the edge, Zeke cradled Casey against his chest.

Billy returned and Zeke could hear him moving around behind him, changing into his pajamas. He walked around the bed and leaned down, brushing a kiss lightly against Casey's face.

"Night Casey, get some rest." Billy gave Zeke an encouraging smile and returned to his side of the bed, climbing in and settling down. Within minutes he was snoring softly.

Starlight shone into the room illuminating Casey's pale face. Zeke held him close, gently rocking him, using the motion to soothe Casey as well as keep himself awake. At long last those blue eyes slid closed and Casey slept.

*****

"Think it can be fixed?" Zeke whispered. He had placed the still-sleeping Casey on the bed and walked over to the desk where Billy was examining Casey's camera.

"I don't know. Sounds like something is broken, maybe the lens, but I don't want to do anything that might make it worse." He looked up into Zeke's dark, troubled eyes. "How did he sleep?"

"Not good. Kept waking up."

"Did you get any sleep?" Billy asked, knowing the answer already. Zeke had been awake long after Billy's time to keep watch on Casey.

"Some," Zeke looked like he could sleep for a week. Billy wondered if he looked as bad, then decided that whether or not he looked exhausted, he certainly felt it.

"So what do we do now?" Billy asked after a long, tired silence.

"I don't know," Zeke replied, sounding and looking lost. He turned, watching Casey for long minutes before turning back to meet Billy's searching eyes. "I just don't know," he confessed.

Billy placed a hand on Zeke's shoulder. "Take care of him, Zeke. I'm going to talk to the dean."

Zeke watched Billy leave the room, closing the door softly behind him. Wearily Zeke walked over to the bed and climbed in, wrapping himself around Casey's slender body.

The younger boy cried out and shifted but Zeke held on gently but firmly until Casey settled again. Zeke placed a kiss on top of his head. Tears stung his eyes and Zeke was too exhausted to stop them.

*****

"Come in, Mr. Tepper. I was expecting you." Billy entered the dean's office and took the seat he was offered. "How is Casey this morning?"

"I don't know, sir. After his parents left he just sat there, staring at his camera. Zeke finally got him to sleep but he was restless and kept waking up."

"Billy," the dean drew a hand over his face. He'd managed to catch about an hour of sleep and he was facing a very difficult day. "I'm going to have to depend on you and Mr. Tyler to keep an eye on Casey. I expect you to inform me of any concerns that you have about him." He handed Billy a piece of paper with several numbers on it.

"You know where my apartment is here on campus. These are my home number and cell phone. I expect you to come by or call anytime, no matter what time of day or night. And Mr. Tepper, those numbers are not to be shared with other students, understand?"

"Yes, sir." Billy put the paper in his pocket. "What about Casey's parents?"

"Last night's visit was a surprise, I assure you, Mr. Tepper. I assume that Mr. Connor thought he could arrive unannounced and take Casey back to Ohio before anyone was the wiser. Fortunately you were able to delay them until I arrived. I filed a complaint with the officer handling the case and an order has been issued requiring that the Connors be supervised at all times when they are on campus." The dean sighed and admitted, "That doesn't mean they can't show up and try to take Casey anyway. We still need to be careful."

"I don't think they'll try to take Casey, sir. Mr. Connor said some pretty ugly things to Casey last night."

"I know, Billy. He repeated a lot of it to me when we left the room. He was very angry. It was fortunate that he didn't put up more resistance when I asked them to leave."

The dean leaned forward, expression grim. "I don't need to tell you that this is a very delicate situation, Mr. Tepper. Not just because of the abuse and neglect charges leveled against the Connors, but because the reputation of the school is at stake. Mr. Connor has made some very serious threats."

"Will Casey's parents stay for the hearing, sir?"

"Yes, at least I think they will. I don't expect it will be very pleasant for Casey."

"Sir," Billy said carefully, not willing to reveal more than necessary to the dean. "Are you aware of Casey's... history?"

The dean studied Billy, considering his answer. "Perhaps you should tell me whatever it is that concerns you about Casey. I would not want to miss any critical information."

Billy held out his arms, revealing the scars on his wrists. "Casey has scars just like these, sir. Less than 6 months old. I think..." Billy cleared his throat and forced out the words. "It could happen again."

"Yes, Mr. Tepper," the dean nodded reassuringly. "The court is aware of that and it will be taken into consideration as well as his medical records and last night's events. We will do our best, Billy. The school's attorney is working on Casey's behalf. It's not just Casey's well-being, but the school's as well. We will settle this as quickly as possible for everyone's sake."

"Do you think the court will remove Casey from his parents?"

"Doubtful. The purpose of the hearing is to review the medical findings from Casey's hospital stay last week. There were old breaks and nerve damage that could not be accounted for in Casey's medical history. In cases like this, the hospital is required to report suspected child abuse. It is up to the court to determine if the parents inflicted the damage or were aware of it but neglected to stop it, or if they deliberately withheld medical treatment."

The dean leaned back and sighed. "Given Casey's age, I expect that the court will allow them to maintain custody. They might order counseling for the family and perhaps require a series of home visits until Casey is 18."

Closing his eyes, the dean took another deep breath, then focused his eyes on Billy. "It is also possible that Casey's parents will voluntarily relinquish custody."

"What happens to Casey if they do that?" Billy fought back the terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. Surely they wouldn't do that.

"He becomes a ward of the state. The parents will be obligated to provide some level of financial support but they will no longer have contact with him."

"Would Casey have to leave school?"

"No, the tuition has already been paid through the end of the academic year. After that he will have graduated. He's already accepted a job here which includes room and board. I'm sure the court will consider that and allow him to complete the semester here."

"Won't he need a legal guardian until he's 18?"

"I offered to serve as his guardian for the next year but it will be up to the court."

"Dean..."

"Billy, we will do what we can for Casey, but much of it will be up to you and Mr. Tyler. It's a lot of responsibility. I'm depending on you to make good decisions and to let me know if you need help. I've got to consider the best interests of the school as well as his. I might not be able to provide as much support for Casey as he needs."

"You can rely on us, sir. Zeke and I will take good care of him." Billy rose, turning to leave. "I should if see if Zeke needs anything."

"One more thing," The dean stopped him. "I hope that you can come to some understanding with Mr. Tyler. You need to work together, for Casey's sake."

"Yes, sir."

"And Mr. Tepper... The custodian will be delivering another bed to your room today. I'll leave it to you to arrange the furniture but you might want to consider that other students will have occasion to visit your room."

"Yes, sir. Thank you." Billy managed a faint smile before he left the room.


	8. Chapter 8

Zeke woke with a groan, moving instinctively against the heat pressing against his groin. He met with satin skin and a yielding resistance. Warm pressure found one hip and urged him forward again. He complied even as he opened his eyes.

And froze.

"Casey?"

The younger boy's back was to Zeke's chest and from the feel of things he was completely naked beneath the blanket. Casey was reaching back, urging Zeke closer and only then did Zeke realize that he was naked too.

"Casey, what are you doing?"

"Don't talk." Casey whimpered, moving slightly, then pressing back so that Zeke's erection was trapped between them. "Please." He pressed back harder, his intention clear.

"No, Case..." Zeke shifted away a little but Casey dug his nails into Zeke's hip and shoved back hard, crying out as the connection was made. It was painful for both of them but Casey didn't seem to care.

Casey moved again, demanding, but Zeke was ready this time and managed to pull away, slipping free of Casey. The smaller boy cried out in anguish.

"No!"

Zeke rolled Casey onto his back, leaning over him to look directly into Casey's pained eyes.

"What are you trying to do?" Zeke demanded. "I could hurt you."

"I don't care," Casey insisted, and the darkness in his eyes proved the truth of it - he really didn't care if he was hurt. Zeke pulled back, stunned.

"I won't hurt you, Case, but I will make love to you if that's what you really want." Zeke leaned in for a tender kiss but Casey turned his face away. Zeke settled for stroking Casey's hair instead.

After a long time Casey turned his face back to Zeke. "Yes," he whispered brokenly, struggling to say the words. "Please Zeke, I need you to... love me."

The desperation in the plea shook Zeke badly. This was too much; he was in over his head. It would be so easy to mess this up. How could he possibly... Casey was watching him, waiting, so vulnerable, so used to being hurt. How could Zeke possibly refuse him?

"Case, I don't need to have sex with you to love you." Zeke leaned in and kissed Casey tenderly. "You know that don't you?"

"No I don't." Casey replied, almost angrily. "I hear the words, Zeke, but words don't mean anything. They can't be trusted. Especially the word love." Casey shifted, turning away from Zeke but making no attempt to sit up.

"You've been so good to me this week, but what happens when we have to leave this cozy little bed for three and go out into the real world? What happens when there are other students all around us and we have to worry about what they think?" Casey shifted again, sighing deeply. He looked fragile and tired but Zeke wouldn't allow that to stop him, what he had to say was too important.

"You want me to prove that I love you, Case? How? By fucking you dry? By making you bleed? I won't do it. You don't hurt the person you love."

"Then I guess no one loves me," Casey said softly, turning away. "I guess no one ever has."

Zeke touched Casey's shoulder but the boy flinched, tears filling his eyes. "Why, Zeke," he asked piteously. "What's wrong with me? Why am I so unlovable?"

Anguished, Zeke lowered his head. He sat up, pulling off and tossing aside the boxers that Casey had only half-removed while Zeke was sleeping. He held his head in his hands for a long moment while Casey lay beside him curled up in grief and despair.

Finally Zeke got up and walked to his suitcase. He opened it and rifled through the contents extracting a bottle of lube. He returned to the bed silently, his eyes fixed on Casey.

Zeke's mind screamed with the wrongness of what he was doing even as he prepared himself and then Casey. He knew that Casey was too fragile, too vulnerable for this. Zeke knew that Casey was still in shock over his father's behavior and rejection. But he couldn't find any way to refuse Casey without making things worse.

And, deep down, some treacherous part of him wanted this. A part of him was as desperate for this contact as Casey. And Zeke wasn't strong enough to resist.

He guided Casey onto his stomach, adding pillows to make sure he was comfortable. A few minutes of kissing and petting Casey's back and they were both ready. Draping himself over Casey, Zeke was careful of the injured leg. Slowly he found the entrance and pushed inside, sweating with the effort to go slowly and carefully. It seemed to take an eternity to slide in completely.

Beneath Zeke, Casey clutched the mattress and whimpered pitifully.

"Casey? Are you OK?"

"More," Casey commanded his voice unsteady. He pushed back to urge Zeke to move.

It was the most heartbreakingly painful experience of Zeke's life, making love to Casey with such desperation. There was no joy in release and afterwards they separated, turning away from each other to hide their shame and tears.

*****

The smell hit Billy as soon as he opened the door; the room reeked of sweat and sex. He recoiled, mouth twisting as his imagination supplied visions of Zeke and Casey together. It made Billy's stomach burn.

Quickly Billy grabbed a change of clothes and a towel and hurried off to the shower. He stayed there for a long time, wishing he could wash the imagined images away like dirt. A noise startled him and he opened his eyes, surprised to find Casey leaning against the wall outside the shower, naked except for the cast on his leg.

"Billy," Casey beckoned and Billy obeyed, moving in front of the boy, trying not to stare. There was a prickle of warning in the back of his mind, urging him to go now, to get out before something happened that he would regret. An image of Zeke and Casey together flashed through his mind. He didn't move.

"Make me yours," Casey ordered softly, placing his hands on Billy's chest. "Please."

The raw need in Casey's eyes seduced Billy and then broke him. With a cry he pressed fully against Casey, driving Casey back against the cold wall. Billy was drowning... drowning in heat, and want and desperate need, and Casey was pulling him under.

Mouths and hands made demands as they worked together, a bit awkwardly but with enough rhythm to suit their needs. They pressed against each other, the sensation of body moving against body sweet beyond dreams.

It didn't take long for Billy to lose control, crying out his release into Casey's mouth. He rested against the smaller body for a few minutes, regaining control of his breathing, feeling the stickiness between them.

When he was steadier, Billy slid down Casey's body and took Casey into his mouth, licking and sucking until Casey stiffened and cried out.

Zeke found them like that, Casey leaning limply against the wall with Billy resting against Casey's leg.

*****

Zeke was gone before Billy could react. He'd taken one look at Billy and Casey together in the bathroom, swore and stormed out.

Guiltily, Billy went back to the shower cleaning up quickly and hurrying out of the bathroom. He didn't say a word to Casey as he left.

Casey remained leaning against the wall, too drained physically and emotionally to move. Tears streamed from his eyes but he didn't feel them. He didn't feel anything.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: please read the tags before reading this chapter

Billy slowed as he neared the steps leading into the dorm. Zeke was there, sitting, head in hands and shoulders hunched. He looked wretched and Billy almost felt sorry for him.

Slowly Zeke looked up, feeling Billy's eyes on him. "Hey," he said, looking away.

"Hey," Billy replied, planning to walk past and into the dorm. Zeke reached out and caught his arm as he brushed past.

"Sit a minute?"

Billy hesitated, then nodded his agreement. Taking a seat at the opposite side of the step he turned to look at Zeke.

"Earlier. in the room." Zeke couldn't meet Billy's eyes; he focused on a point over Billy's shoulder instead.

"Forget it." Billy cut him off. He did not want to have this discussion.

"We need to."

"No, we don't. I don't want to talk about it, any of it. Not now. Maybe not ever." Billy moved to stand but Zeke leaned over and caught his arm again. Billy yanked it away hard, getting angry.

"I didn't intend..." Zeke said defensively.

"Didn't you?" Billy snapped. "Then why did you come here? You expect me to believe you just came for a platonic visit?"

"I don't expect you to understand, Billy," Zeke snapped back, standing, his eyes dark with anger. "This is between Casey and..." He stopped abruptly and clenched his hands into fists, looking like he wanted something to hit. "Forget it." He turned away from Billy, body tense. "Doesn't matter anyway. You got what you wanted."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Billy took a step forward, ready to grab Zeke and demand an explanation. "I didn't go looking for Casey. He came to me."

"Sure he did, right after he begged me to... Shit!" Zeke turned to Billy with wild, desperate eyes, his face suddenly pale. "Casey!"

Billy turned immediately and led the way up to the room, Zeke hard on his heels. Neither was surprised to find the room empty.

"Bathroom," Billy said, and Zeke headed down the hall at a run. He was back a minute later, expression grim. No Casey.

"Look at this," Billy said, pointing to the camera on Casey's desk. The lens had been removed and there were tiny fragments of glass scattered across the desktop.

"Where's Casey's medicine?" Zeke asked suddenly. "I put the bottle right here a few hours ago."

Their eyes met, each mirroring the other's fear. Casey was going to hurt himself.

"We have to find him." Zeke said, starting towards the door. "We'll have to search everywhere."

"No," Billy closed his eyes, trying not to feel the echo of pain in the scars on his wrists. He was too familiar with the temptation that Casey faced; it was addictive. Even now a traitorous part of his brain cried out for it.

"He'll need water." Billy forced the words out, his mind flashing images at him so erratically that he felt dizzy. Digging his fingernails into his palms brought a stinging moment of clarity and he looked up, meeting Zeke's eyes.

"Darkroom."

*****

Casey leaned against the darkroom wall and concentrated on breathing. His hands and arms were trembling but his head felt funny and too light. The bottle of pills and the piece of glass - part of the broken camera lens - were the only things keeping him on the ground. Without them he would float away.

A deep breath and he pushed off from the wall, hobbling to the sink and turning on the water, watching it run for a while, testing the temperature occasionally until it was just warm enough to be soothing.

Taking out the piece of broken glass, he held it under the tap, making sure it was clean. He wanted to do the job right.

When he was satisfied he placed his left wrist under the water and left it there for a few minutes until it no longer felt like water running over his skin, it just felt warm and soft.

A quick motion and a sharp bite of pain, then the indescribable sensation of watching crimson glide over pale flesh and spiral down into nothingness.

He popped two pain pills into his mouth and leaned forward, taking a mouthful of water from the faucet to wash down the medicine.

He felt lighter already. More focused. More in control.

Another bite of pain and a second stream of crimson mingled with the first.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: please read the tags

Zeke took the steps two at a time, his longer legs giving him a slight advantage over Billy, who followed close behind. Zeke hit the wall to stop himself as he reached the basement floor. Behind him Billy gasped and pointed towards the darkroom.

"Light. He's in there."

Casey hadn't bothered to close the darkroom door all the way. He'd been in a hurry and it didn't really matter. He had turned on the red light and everything glowed crimson.

Casey was huddled over the sink, propping himself up by leaning against it. He looked ghostly under the red light and Zeke could see the tremors in Casey's body from all the way across the room. Casey was silent, staring transfixed as the blood flowed out into the stream of water. He didn't seem to notice their arrival.

Zeke reached him a fraction of a second before Billy. Grabbing Casey's arms he held them while Billy tried to make Casey drop the glass. After a struggle, it fell, making a dull sound as it hit the metal sink.

The sound seemed to wake Casey from his trance. He jerked wildly, trying to get away from them, struggling to reach the piece of glass. Zeke pressed himself hard against Casey and held on tight but Casey kept struggling, screaming out his frustration.

Billy reached over and snatched the glass away, tossing it down hard into the trashcan before grabbing up the hand towel from the rack by the sink. With Zeke holding Casey still, Billy was able to bind Casey's bleeding arm with the towel, wrapping it tight and knotting it so that Casey couldn't easily shake it loose.

Billy looked into Casey's angry, desperate eyes and saw his own reflection. It strengthened his resolve to help. Moving a step closer he pressed against Casey from the front, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy and Zeke.

Casey was held tightly between the two older boys, caged in by warmth and strength. Slowly his struggles eased, then stopped and he sagged wearily against them.

Zeke kept up a stream of comforting words and reassurances while Billy searched the room with his eyes, looking for the bottle of pills.

"Casey?" he asked softly, making sure he had the boy's attention. "Where are your pills?"

Casey frowned, thinking, then answered, his voice a little slurred. "Pocket."

Billy removed the bottle from Casey's pocket and placed it in his own. "Did you take any?" Casey nodded. "How many, Casey?" Billy asked urgently, his eyes meeting Zeke's and sharing his concern.

A long pause, then, "Two." The word seemed to take the last of his strength. He leaned fully against Zeke and closed his eyes. "Tired," he whispered.

"I know, Casey. It's OK. We'll let you get some rest."

"Don't leave me," Casey whimpered.

"We won't, Case, we won't. Just rest. We'll take care of you." Zeke lifted the boy into his arms, pressing a kiss against his forehead before turning towards the door. Billy followed carrying Casey's crutches.

It was a long walk to their room and Billy and Zeke took turns carrying Casey. He had either fallen into a deep sleep or was unconscious and didn't stir, even when they placed him on the rumpled bed and covered him with a blanket.

"I'd better report this to the dean," Billy said. "I'll see if I can get some bandages and stuff to clean up those cuts. They're messy but not deep. He won't need stitches or anything." Billy's eyes clouded. "Those kind of cuts hurt like hell but they don't bleed that much. We'll have to keep an eye on him, but I don't think Casey will need to see a doctor." A long pause and then, softer. "He probably wouldn't go, anyway. They'd just make too big a deal of it, and he's already got enough to worry about."

Zeke had taken a seat on the edge of the bed but was looking up at Billy as if he needed to say something. Billy hesitated, waiting.

"Just say it," he encouraged.

Zeke nodded slightly, forcing out the words. "I'm sorry. about earlier. I shouldn't have."

"Forget it, Zeke. Neither of us should have. Too late to change it now." Billy straightened his shoulders, determined. "Look, what's important is that we get along, no matter what. There's something much more at stake here than our egos. So, what say we try our best to be friends and we'll let the other stuff sort itself out later, when Casey is better?"

"Sounds like a plan." Zeke managed a smile. "I'm willing to give it a try."

"Good," Billy nodded, satisfied. "I'll be back." He closed the door and hurried off to find the dean.

*****

Dean Parker knocked quietly before entering. "How is he?" he asked Zeke.

"Still sleeping. The bleeding stopped and I was able to clean up the cuts. Just need Billy to bring some bandages." Zeke set aside the book he was reading and stood, moving to stand near the doorway with the dean. Together they left the room, stopping just outside where they could converse without waking Casey.

"Billy assured me Casey didn't need a doctor. I'm taking his word for it for the moment. Did you check his pills?"

"Yeah, it seems as if he only took the two he told us about. If he has been taking them regularly, the correct amount are left."

The dean looked relieved. "That's good news." He turned to Zeke, very seriously, "Do you have any idea if this was the result of last night's visit from Casey's parents? Did anything unusual happen this morning that might have contributed to ... this reaction?"

Zeke looked away, warring with himself over how to answer the question. Before he could decide, the dean spoke again.

"Due to current circumstances, the court felt it was in Casey's best interest to move the hearing date forward. It's been scheduled for 9:00 am tomorrow. I need to know if Casey is strong enough to face this." The dean placed a hand on Zeke's shoulder. "If there was something between you, Billy and Casey, I need to know about it so I can make a decision whether to request a delay."

Zeke looked everywhere but at the dean, letting the silence lie between them.

"I don't need details, Mr. Tyler," the dean said at last. After years of experience dealing with teenage boys he was pretty good at reading their body language. "Would I be right in guessing that Casey wanted some...reassurance of your relationship?"

Zeke tensed but didn't respond.

"Might I also be correct in guessing that Billy is aware of this and reacted...negatively?"

An intake of breath and a tightening of the shoulders.

"Perhaps Casey went to Billy for the same reason and you had the same reaction as Billy?"

Zeke closed his eyes.

The dean sighed. None of it was a surprise, he'd almost expected Casey to reach out for physical reassurance, but it didn't make the situation any easier to deal with. There were three troubled young men involved here, but right now he had to focus all his attention on Casey. He could only hope that he would be able to help the other two before it was too late.

"Zeke, you are doing a very good job taking care of Casey. I know it's not easy for you. I'm going to have to depend on you a little longer. If you start to feel overwhelmed, or just need a break, I expect you to tell me immediately. Do you understand?"

Zeke nodded, some of the tension leaving his thin body.

"Billy should be back shortly with some food and the bandages. Why don't you take a walk. I'll stay with Casey for a while."

Zeke thought for a moment, then nodded. He started away but the dean called him back.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

Zeke frowned in confusion, then smiled as the dean mimed smoking a cigarette. He retrieved the pack of cigarettes from the desk.

"Special allowance for unusual circumstances," the dean told him as he walked away. "Don't get used to it."

*****

Dean Parker set the last of the cartons on the table as the doorbell rang. He hurried to welcome his guests, gesturing for the three boys to have a seat at the table while he poured the beverages.

Taking a seat, he indicated that they should help themselves, noting how eagerly Billy and Zeke dug into the variety of Chinese food. He wondered how long it had been since they had eaten a full meal.

He also noticed that Casey made a good show of eating while carefully arranging the food on his plate to make it appear that he had consumed more than he really had. The boy was pale and listless, his eyes dull.

Billy and the dean made an effort to keep light conversation going throughout the meal. Zeke contributed occasionally, but Casey was silent unless asked a direct question. More than once he looked at the door as if wanting to escape.

When they had finished the main course, the dean rose and cleared the table, gently refusing Billy and Zeke's offers of assistance. He quickly filled the dishwasher and brought out dessert.

He'd stopped by the local ice cream shop on his way back from a meeting with the school's lawyer, deciding that they all deserved a treat. He'd chosen an extravagantly decorated ice cream cake. He doled out the generous portions on his best plates and carried them out to the boys. Their enthusiastic reaction made him smile.

This time, even Casey managed to clear his plate.

Once the table and kitchen were clean, the dean invited the boys to join him in the living room. Settling into his favorite chair, Parker broached the subject that was on all of their minds.

"As you know, the hearing has been moved to 9:00 am tomorrow. I've spent most of the afternoon with the school's lawyer, Mr. Proft. We felt that the three of you should be made aware of what you could expect."

Parker shifted and leaned forward, making eye contact with each of the boys before continuing. Their nervousness and tension were not lost on him, and he hoped that this conversation would help make things a little easier for them.

"Billy, you and Zeke will not be allowed into the hearing room. It is a closed door session with only the involved parties and their representation allowed. However, you may be called to answer some questions, so a private waiting area has been arranged. You can take homework or something to read. The hearing may last several hours."

Turning his attention to the farthest chair, he addressed Casey. "Casey, you will not be required to appear in the room with your parents. You and I will be in a separate room monitoring the proceedings via closed circuit TV. If you are required to answer any questions, you will be able to do so from that room."

Casey's hands twitched and the dean noted how ragged Casey's nails were, as if he'd bitten them even shorter in the last few hours.

"What if I don't want to answer the questions?" Casey asked at last, his voice quiet.

"Some of the questions might be difficult, Casey. But it is very important that you do your best to answer as completely as you can." The dean smiled reassuringly. "If there is a question that makes you very uncomfortable or that you can not answer, just tell them that."

Casey nodded slowly, but there was a funny twist to his mouth, as if he were fighting back something he wanted to say. Finally he leaned forward and asked, "Do we really have to do this, sir?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," and now there was a spark of anger in Casey's eyes and his body straightened. "I mean that this is just a waste of time. Does it really matter if my parents neglected me? The damage is done. I'll be graduating in a few months. I'll be 18 in a year." He clenched his hands into fists and his arms trembled with the tension. "Isn't it bad enough that my father hates me? That he disowned me? What more do they want?"

Grabbing his crutches, Casey stood, giving Zeke and Billy a warning look before moving towards the door. His voice choking as he said, "Thank you for dinner, sir. I'll let myself out." The door closed softly behind him.

Zeke rose immediately and started to follow, but the dean stopped him.

"Come sit down, Mr. Tyler."

"And leave Casey alone? No, sir. Tell Billy whatever it is we need to know. He can fill me in later." Without another word Zeke was gone.

The dean leaned back in his chair and sighed. If he had been alone he might have uttered a few choice words, but because of his company he restrained himself.

"Dean, look, I know that you are doing your best for Casey. Casey knows it too. He's just... I can't imagine what this is like for him." Billy stood up, pacing restlessly. "And he's right, you know. What difference does it make? The damage is old, and Casey doesn't live at home anymore so even if his parents did abuse him, he's not there for them to hurt."

Billy stopped, looking at the dean almost desperately. "Isn't there any way to stop this? Can't there just be a restraining order or something to keep them away so that Casey can get on with his life instead of having this hanging over his head?"

"I wish it were that simple, Mr. Tepper. I truly wish it were." With a sigh, the dean rose and escorted Billy to the door. When he was alone, the dean leaned back against the door, fighting off exhaustion and frustration. It was going to be another long night.


	11. Chapter 11

The trio waited silently outside the Dean's apartment. They were a bit early, but they'd run out of little nothings to do to occupy themselves.

Casey leaned on his crutches, sullen and uncommunicative. He'd returned to the dorm in silence last night and hadn't spoken more than a few words since waking this morning. He'd accepted Billy's offer of a sport coat since he didn't have one of his own. It hung loosely on his small frame and made him look younger.

Billy and Zeke had skipped the coats and compromised with dress shirts and ties. They were uncomfortable and awkward, wanting to offer comfort, but not having a clue as to what they could say that would help. It was a bad situation and words weren't going to make it any better.

The dean greeted them with a smile, making an effort to ease some of the tension by reviewing information they already knew as he escorted them to his car. He'd insisted on driving to make it easier to keep track of them.

The drive was mercifully short and the radio supplied a reason for them not to talk. The dean switched from his usual station to one that played classic rock and concentrated on his driving.

Stopping in front of the court house he let the boys out and instructed them to wait there while he parked the car. Finding a spot nearby he rejoined them a few minutes later and escorted them into the building where they met the school's attorney, Mr. Proft.

The introductions were cut short when Proft asked to speak to the dean alone. Leading him off to the side, out of earshot, he had an animated conversation with the dean. When it was over, Proft left and Dean Parker rejoined the boys.

"Looks like there has been a change of plans. The hearing has been cancelled."

The expression on the dean's face was all they needed to tell them this was not good news. Dean Parker placed a hand on Casey's arm and motioned for Billy and Zeke to step away.

From across the room, they watched as the dean leaned close to Casey and spoke to him, his hand never leaving Casey's arm. The boy lowered his head for a long time, shaking it in response to questions, but not looking up again. Finally the dean turned and motioned for Billy and Zeke to rejoin them.

"I'll bring the car around. Meet me out front."

Slowly, silently, Casey left the building, Zeke and Billy on either side, exchanging anxious glances. They both had a terrible feeling that they knew why the hearing had been cancelled.

The ride back to the school was even more solemn than the one to the courthouse. The dean stopped at the McDonald's drive-thru and bought them all breakfast, but he suspected that Casey's would go uneaten.

Dropping them off at their dorm, he got out and placed a hand on Casey's shoulder, asking the boy to come to his office at noon. Without looking up, Casey nodded. He shrugged the dean's hand off his shoulder and started the slow ascent to his room with Zeke walking silently beside him.

"Billy, a moment please."

Billy turned to face the dean, surprised by the pain on the man's face.

"What happened?" he whispered.

"Nothing I'm about to tell you goes farther than you, Mr. Tyler, Casey and myself." The dean sighed and cast a glance around to make sure they were alone. "I would never violate confidentiality, but in this instance it is critical to Casey's well-being that you completely understand the situation. Is that clear?"

Billy nodded solemnly.

"Casey's parents relinquished custody last night. Their lawyer filed the paperwork this morning. The matter has been dropped pending their fulfillment of certain requirements, the details of which you do not need to concern yourself with."

"Bastards!" Billy swore spinning away, looking for something to hit. The dean caught his shoulder and turned him back until they were eye to eye.

"Get it out of your system before you walk through that door, Mr. Tepper." He indicated the dorm. "Casey doesn't need your anger."

"I know, I know." Billy relented, trying to calm himself. "So what happens now?"

"Now we wait. I should have word later today as to whether my petition for guardianship has been approved and if they are willing to let Casey remain here. If not, we appeal. Either way, I need to get Casey some help immediately." The dean leaned close to Billy, all seriousness. "I'm going to recommend that the three of you receive counseling, as a group and individually. You can't handle this on your own."

"Counseling," Billy pulled back. "Casey, yes, but I don't..."

The dean reached out and took Billy's hand, holding up his wrist to show the scars. "All of you, Mr. Tepper." He let go of Billy's hand and walked to his car. "I'll expect Mr. Conner in my office at noon." Without another word he slid into the car and drove away.

*****

"Case?"

No response.

"Casey?"

Nothing.

Zeke looked at Billy, his expression worried. Casey hadn't said a word since returning from the courthouse. He'd removed Billy's coat and hung it neatly in the closet then laid down on the bed, curled up on his side and stared straight ahead. He hadn't moved since.

Billy shrugged and motioned towards the door, making eating gestures. Zeke nodded, knowing that it was more about giving Billy something to do than about bringing food for the three of them.

Once Billy was gone, Zeke lay down beside Casey and gathered the unresisting body close. He pressed a kiss to the side of Casey's face and petted him gently. He didn't bother with false assurances, instead he tried to comfort Casey with his presence.

When Billy returned with a pizza, Zeke urged Casey to sit up. With Billy on one side and Zeke on the other, they talked quietly, handing Casey a slice of pizza and letting him decide if and when to eat.

The half-eaten slice of pizza was cold by the time Casey leaned forward and set it back in the box. Carefully wiping his hands and mouth, he tossed the napkin into the trash, leaned against Zeke's shoulder and closed his eyes. They stayed like that until it was time for Casey to meet with the dean.

*****

"Right on time, Mr. Conner. Please have a seat." The dean motioned for Zeke and Billy to wait outside then closed the door to his office.

Taking a seat behind his desk, the dean busied himself with papers while Casey settled. He continued to shuffle the papers for another few minutes. He'd struggled all morning to find a way to handle this conversation with Casey and still hadn't found the words. Finally he set the papers down and leaned back in his chair, trying to project a sense of calm.

"This is a difficult situation, Casey. I won't pretend to know how you are feeling. I want you to know that you can come to me at any time, to talk about anything and I will do what I can to help you."

Casey's already tense body tightened even more and he focused his eyes on a spot somewhere over the dean's left shoulder. The dean decided to try a different approach.

"Let's concentrate on the practical for now. If there is anything else you'd like to talk about, just tell me."

A slight nod from Casey.

"I want you to understand that the decision that was made in no way reflects on you." The dean leaned forward trying to project reassurance. "There is nothing wrong with you, Casey. Remember that."

Casey's mouth tightened into a grim line.

"I've been appointed your temporary guardian. In three months there will be an evaluation and the court will decide if it is in your best interest to continue with me or to be assigned a different guardian."

Casey's hands tightened, clenching the fabric of his jeans where they rested just above his knees. The dean suppressed a sigh. He'd vehemently protested that provision emphasizing the need for stability in Casey's life but Proft assured him that filing an appeal would take longer than the three months.

"It is very important to remember, Casey, that in three months you will have graduated and will be working here as a staff member. You will have your own apartment and meals provided."

The dean's voice softened. "You have a home, Casey. Remember that."

Casey flinched, his eyes meeting the dean's for just an instant, laying bare all of the boy's fear and insecurity.

"I'm prepared to offer you a contract of employment that guarantees everything I've just said. Would that be acceptable?"

Casey nodded.

"I'll have it ready for you to sign early next week."

A little of the tension left Casey's shoulders, leaving him looking small and tired.

"There are a few more things we need to discuss, Casey. First: you understand that you are to have no contact of any kind with your parents? You are not to attempt to contact them, nor are they to contact you. If they do try to contact you, I expect you to alert me or the police immediately. Is that clear?"

Casey nodded tightly, his body nearly vibrating with tension. His face had gone pale and he was biting his lip.

"A sum of money will be provided for your care, Casey. The total amount has not yet been determined. As your tuition has been paid and you will have employment upon graduation, I recommend that the money be placed in trust until you turn 18."

Casey shrugged. They could do whatever they wanted with it. It might as well be blood money, but he wasn't foolish enough to refuse it outright. Some small part of him liked the idea of making his parents pay.

"Lastly, I have contacted a counselor on your behalf. I am asking you to agree to see her weekly for a solo session and a joint session with Mr. Tyler and Mr. Tepper."

The dean rose and walked around the desk, trying to read Casey's reaction to his request. He stopped in front of the boy.

"This is not a punishment, Casey. I'm asking you to do this because I think it will help."

Very slowly, Casey nodded, his eyes fixed somewhere outside the window.

"Casey," the dean knelt in front of the boy and lightly touched his arm. "I know this is hard. I will do what I can to help you. And I'm going to expect you to cooperate with me. Understand?"

Casey nodded one last time, accepting the crutches the dean handed to him. The dean stood, moving back, leaning against his desk as he watched Casey start to turn away. For just a second Casey hesitated, then he turned back, trying to smile.

"Thank you, sir," Casey said quietly, then he turned and walked away.

*****

"Let's sit out here for a while," Zeke suggested as they reached the steps to their dorm. "I need some air."

Casey dropped gracelessly onto the steps, letting his crutches fall. He kicked at them with his good leg. Beside him, Zeke lit a cigarette and took a long drag, closing his eyes to savor it.

Casey held out his hand and Zeke handed over the cigarette, watching as Casey inhaled tentatively. Zeke didn't so much as crack a smile when Casey coughed and returned the cigarette.

"Bad habit, Case. Better not to start."

Casey shrugged and looked away.

"Wonder what the dean wanted to talk to Billy about?" Zeke mused.

Casey shrugged again.

"You gonna be OK?" Now Zeke's eyes were focused on Casey, studying him. Casey looked genuinely confused.

"I guess," he said at last.

Zeke reached out and brushed a stray hair away from Casey's face. "Is it OK that I stay around, Case? You won't mind having me for a roommate? If you don't want me here, I can still cancel the transfer."

Casey's hand caught Zeke's and held it tightly. He was trembling just the slightest bit. He opened his mouth but no words came out.

Zeke drew Casey close and held him, rubbing his back until Casey relaxed enough to rest his head on Zeke's shoulder. After a while, Zeke tilted his head slightly and let it rest on Casey's.

They were sitting like that when Billy bounced up.

"You awake Casey? Got some good news."

Casey opened his eyes but didn't move.

"Got that portfolio ready? There's a schedule change, we've all got interviews at State this afternoon. The dean's picking us up at 3:45."

Casey just sighed and turned his head, nestling against Zeke's neck. Billy and Zeke exchanged worried looks.

"Come on, Case," Zeke urged. "We've got a few hours, we can check the portfolio to make sure it's ready and then you can catch a nap if you want." Zeke guided Casey to his feet and Billy handed over the crutches. They made the familiar journey to their room in silence.


	12. Chapter 12

The dean greeted the boys as they climbed into the car. "Ready for your interviews?" he asked cheerfully. "I hope you don't mind, but I thought we'd go out for dinner afterwards. I've got a favor to ask of the three of you." 

"What's up?" Billy wanted to know, but the dean shook his head. 

"Let's save that for later. I thought you'd like to know a bit about the interviews first." He paused a minute, looking at Zeke and Casey in the back seat. Neither of them looked all that interested but at least they appeared to be listening. 

"You will each meet with Dean Norris, the Dean of Admissions. The interviews usually take 15 to 20 minutes. Mr. Connor, since you have already selected a major, the dean invited Dr McFadden, the head of the art department to participate in the interview as well. She teaches photography and is very interested in seeing your portfolio." 

Casey nodded, but didn't smile. He held the portfolio tightly against his chest. 

"What kind of questions will they ask, sir?" Billy wanted to know. He really wasn't that worried about the interview, but he was tired of the awkward silences. 

"Mostly general questions: your interests, special skills or talents, career goals, some academic history." 

Zeke snorted and the dean gave him a look in the rear view mirror. 

"I recommend you emphasize your interests, Mr. Tyler." 

"Yes, sir." Zeke replied, making a face that made Casey smile. 

XXXXX 

Casey was blushing slightly and his eyes were bright when he emerged from his interview. It had been more of a comfortable conversation than an interview and he'd taken an instant liking to Dr. McFadden. They'd had an animated discussion of his portfolio and she had praised his work, making special mention of Billy's favorite, the picture of grass at improbable angles. 

Although it wouldn't be official until the letters arrived, Dean Norris had given a verbal acceptance for admission to all three of them, although he had reminded Zeke that the acceptance was contingent on his successfully completing his senior year. Norris had even suggested that they might want to take a class or two during the summer to get an early start on their studies. 

The dean drove to one of his favorite restaurants, a small family-owned diner specializing in what he thought of as comfort foods - meatloaf, pasta, even pancakes. 

"What looks good?" Dean Parker asked as they examined their menus. 

"Blueberry pancakes with whipped cream," Casey said wistfully, "but I'm not allowed." his voice trailed off and he closed the menu, his expression hardening. 

"Blueberry pancakes with whipped cream *and* syrup," said Zeke, giving the boy a smile. "Sounds good Case." 

"Bacon or sausage with that, Casey?" Billy wanted to know. 

"Both," Casey said with conviction. 

"Make that four," the dean told the waitress, giving her a smile. 

While they waited for the food to arrive, the dean returned to the earlier subject. "I told you I needed to ask you all a favor. One of the school's trustees donated a beach cottage to the school several months ago and I haven't had time to inventory the property. We need a complete set of photographs of the interior and exterior for insurance purposes as well as a second, more artistic set to use for promotional purposes. I was hoping the three of you would be willing to make the trip for me." 

Casey started to protest but the dean stopped him. "The headmaster authorized me to pre-pay for your services as photographer, Casey. I need someone I trust taking these photographs." The dean reached into the inner pocket of his suit coat and withdrew a check. "It's far less than the standard rate for a professional photographer, but I hope you will accept this as payment for your time and talent." 

Casey accepted the folded check, opening it and staring at the number. He looked at the dean uncertainly. This was enough to buy a new camera, plenty of film and still have a bit left over. "Sir, I." 

"All of your expenses will be covered and you will each receive a small stipend for your time." The dean took out another check and handed it to Zeke. "This should cover gas money, food and incidentals." 

Zeke blinked at the number and nodded. 

"In addition, you have use of the cottage until Sunday at noon." The dean gave each of them a stern look. "You should plan on returning early enough that you will be rested for the start of classes on Monday morning." 

The three boys looked at each other, grinning. 

The dean smiled too, carefully concealing the concerns he had about sending them so far away, especially with Casey's self-inflicted wounds still fresh and the numbness of that morning's events not yet worn off. He didn't doubt Billy's and Zeke's willingness to take care of Casey, but it was a huge responsibility. 

He forced his attention back to the present. The decision had already been made, he just had to trust them. 

"Is this acceptable?" The three boys nodded. "Good, then I'll expect you to report to my office tomorrow morning at 9:30. I'll have a map and directions to the cottage." 

The dean looked up as the waitress arrived with their pancakes. As she set the plate down in front of him he tried not to think about how much exercise he'd have to do to work off the mountain of sugar and fat he was about to consume. 

Around him, the boys dug in without hesitation. 

XXXXX 

Zeke glanced in the rear view mirror and smiled. Casey was sleeping, his arms wrapped protectively around the case containing his brand new camera. 

They'd gotten a later start than intended because Casey had lingered in the camera shop a very long time, agonizing between a flashier, more expensive camera and a more modest, less expensive one. In the end he had chosen the less expensive one, intending to use the difference to have his old camera repaired. 

Zeke had hidden away the broken lens attachment and the old camera looked odd without it so Casey had tucked it away in his dresser, unwilling to discard his beloved camera, despite the recent, painful events. 

Zeke swore under his breath at the traffic and reached over to eject the cassette that had been playing. 

"I get next pick," Billy reminded him as he selected a tape and popped it in the player. They'd both had a conversation with the dean and he'd urged them to cooperate with each other and to make an effort to stop catering quite so much to Casey. He reminded them sternly and at length about how vulnerable Casey was and their need for constant vigilance, but not overindulgence. He explained that he wanted to bring some normality back into Casey's life and it wouldn't happen if they pampered him. 

Already things were off to a shaky start. 

"How am I supposed to drive while listening to that crap?" Zeke snapped. 

"I'll turn it down," Billy offered, reaching for the volume control. 

"Don't. Forget it." Zeke tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, then looked over at Billy. "Sorry." 

"Don't worry about it," Billy said, meeting Zeke's eyes for a second before they both returned their attention to the road. Neither one had a clue how to broach the subject that was really bothering them. 

"How far to the turn?" Zeke asked after a while. 

"About another 5 miles, maybe 6. There should be a sign. Then it's a lot of turns and we're there. Maybe another half-hour at the most." Billy looked over at Zeke. "You OK?" 

"Yeah, yeah." He managed a half smile. "So how far away from civilization is this place?" 

"Pretty far. The dean said there's seven acres total and the beach is private, has a security gate and everything." 

"So much for a boardwalk and cheap souvenir shops," Zeke joked. 

"Yeah, it won't seem like the beach at all," Billy replied, grinning. 

Their eyes met again, for an instant, and the smiles faded. Not even Casey was under any illusions as to at least part of the reason they'd been sent here. The dean was getting to be like some kind of annoying fairy godmother/social worker. Too bad he couldn't wave his magic wand and fix everything. 

"Turn's coming up," Billy warned. They followed the directions carefully and finally arrived at the security gate. Billy hopped out and opened it, letting Zeke drive through, then closing the gate behind them and locking it again. 

The noise had woken Casey and he sat up groggily, looking around. 

A long narrow driveway wandered through tall, thin trees finally opening up to reveal the cottage. 

"Whoa," Billy said, summing up the reaction for all of them. 

"Some cottage," Zeke added. 

It was two stories high, and all wood, painted a faded purple-blue with darker trim. There was a large, shaded front porch and lots of windows. 

Zeke parked off to the side under a tree for shade and shut off the engine. The three of them climbed out a bit stiffly, walking around a bit to loosen up their cramped legs. 

Billy dug the key out of his pocket. "Ready?" They nodded and followed him to the cottage. He unlocked the door and stepped aside, motioning for Casey to go first. The boy complied, hobbling through the doorway and stopping cold. He turned around with a smile. 

Zeke and Billy squeezed in around him. 

"Whoa," Billy repeated. 

They were in a small foyer and straight ahead was a living room with a wall of glass, opening on to a large patio and beyond to the ocean. They moved ahead slowly, trying to take in everything at once. The back wall of the living room was lined with bookshelves. Off to one side was a staircase leading up to the second level and on the other side was a large screen TV and stereo system. 

"I could get used to this," Zeke said mildly, and the three of them laughed. 

"Fridge is stocked as promised," Billy reported. He rummaged around opening cupboards and drawers. "Either of you know how to cook?" 

Zeke gave him a look. "You kidding?" 

Casey shook his head and headed for the TV. 

"Videos," he reported, examining the shelves beside the television. "Some good ones." 

"As long as it's not that sci-fi 'B' movie crap, Case," Zeke replied, sliding back one of the glass doors and stepping out onto the patio. 

"What's wrong with 'B' movies?" Casey wanted to know, following Zeke outside. It was a familiar and good-humored argument between the two of them. 

Billy listened to the mild bickering and smiled. The breeze carried the familiar ocean scent and he breathed deeply, a little of his tension easing. He followed his friends outside and leaned against the back of one of the chairs, just watching the waves. 

It was mid-afternoon and the sky was clear. It was warm enough in the sun despite the breeze and they just stayed there, not talking, each wrapped in their own thoughts as they looked out at the water.


	13. Chapter 13

"Can't sleep?" Billy asked quietly as he took a seat across from Zeke. The older boy shrugged. He looked tired. 

"Got a lot on my mind." 

"So you decided to transfer to Regis," Billy said after a long silence. 

"Yeah. You OK with that?" 

"Doesn't bother me." Billy shrugged and looked away. "Makes Casey happy." There was a bit of an edge to his voice and Zeke frowned. 

"If this is about what happened the other day." 

Billy made an impatient gesture and stood, walking towards the window. Zeke hesitated, then joined him, placing a hand tentatively on Billy's shoulder. Billy tensed but didn't object. After several minutes Zeke started softly rubbing Billy's back.

"Case is pretty hard to say no to, isn't he?" Zeke was careful to keep his voice soft, the tone neutral. He couldn't change what had happened between Billy and Casey, and after everything else that had happened it just didn't seem to be that big a deal anymore. 

Billy nodded. His shoulders drooped and he looked weary. Zeke slowly drew him close, letting Billy rest against him as he continued to rub Billy's back. There was something to the set of Billy's shoulders that made Zeke suspect his mind wasn't focused on recent events, but on something or someone farther in the past. 

"Thinking about Joey?" 

Billy nodded. 

"I think I would have liked him," Zeke whispered 

"I know you would have, Zeke. And he would have liked you." There was a smile in Billy's voice. 

Zeke laughed softly. 

"What?" Billy asked, shifting to look up at Zeke. 

"Just funny," Zeke said quietly, truly startled by this sudden thought. How strange not to be the intentional loner anymore. How odd that he didn't miss it at all. "Imagine me having so many friends." He gave Billy a one-armed hug. "Good friends." 

"Yeah," Billy agreed, relaxing against Zeke. "Us rejects gotta stick together." 

They stood together for a long time looking out at the ocean. 

XXXXX 

"Damn!" Zeke swore as Casey's elbow jabbed hard against his ribs. He'd almost been asleep and now he was wide awake again. 

Casey moaned and shifted, breathing hard but still asleep. 

"Hey, Case, wake up." Zeke sat up and pinned the smaller boy gently against the mattress. "Casey!" 

Casey writhed in Zeke's grip, crying out sharply, his eyes snapping open. He looked around, confused and his mouth twisted as if holding back sorrow. 

"Bad dream?" Zeke asked gently, releasing his grip and settling down at Casey's side. 

Casey nodded and pressed his face against Zeke's chest. His shoulders were shaking and Zeke felt moisture on his skin; Casey was crying. 

Billy slid carefully out of the bed miming his intent to leave Zeke and Casey alone. Zeke shook his head and gestured for him to climb in on the other side of Casey instead. Billy considered a moment, then complied. He laid his hands against Casey's bare back, stroking lightly, trying to help soothe the distressed boy. 

"What do you need, Casey?" Billy asked softly. "How can we help?" 

"I... want to go... home." Casey's voice cracked and he sobbed. His hands tightened against Zeke's chest and his whole body shook. 

Zeke and Billy exchanged pained looks and Billy pressed closer to Casey, trying to offer comfort. Casey kept sobbing. 

"That's funny, Case," Zeke whispered when Casey's sobbing had calmed into sniffles. "I was just thinking about that too."

Casey raised his head and looked up at Zeke. "Yeah?" 

"Yeah." Zeke leaned down and kissed Casey's forehead. "Thing is, it's not really what I want at all." Casey frowned and Zeke smoothed his rumpled hair. "Sure, all my stuff is there, and I have my own room, but I don't really have anyone there that I want to be with. Not like here, with you and Billy." He leaned down and kissed Casey tenderly on the mouth. "That's just a place. See?" 

Casey nodded, slowly, sliding up for another tender kiss. Behind him, Billy kept stroking his back. 

Mindful of Casey's injured leg, Zeke guided the boy back onto the mattress, giving Billy a meaningful look. There was a moment of hesitation, of absolute stillness, as if the three of them knew that something important was about to happen. They balanced on a razor's edge, waiting... waiting... and then Billy nodded just the slightest bit and Casey shifted, reaching up to them with trust and acceptance and Zeke looked deeply into Billy's eyes. Connection. 

Together, almost as one, Billy and Zeke pressed close to Casey and leaned down to place gentle kisses on his face, intent on driving all thoughts of home and his parents out of Casey's head. 

Zeke kissed a path down Casey's cheek to his neck and shoulder and, after hesitating a moment, Billy mirrored the kisses on Casey's other side. Together they kissed all the way down to Casey's finger tips, then back up and across his chest. 

Casey moved beneath them, squirming with pleasure. His hands worked over their backs gently urging them on until Billy and Zeke's mouths almost collided. With a smile, Casey cupped the back of their heads and urged them together. Obediently, Billy and Zeke kissed. 

It was innocent at first, just gentle exploration, but Casey moved beneath them impatiently and pressed harder against the backs of their heads. 

Billy moaned and shifted, bringing his hand up to rest against Casey's chest as he opened his mouth to accept Zeke's tongue. 

"Yes," Casey whispered, satisfied. 

The older boys broke apart and looked down at Casey. With smiles, they descended on him and the three of them tangled together in a three- way open mouth kiss. 

Instinct guided them, directing hands and mouths as three bodies pressed against each other. They didn't allow themselves to analyze it, they just moved, and touched and kissed. 

By unspoken agreement, Billy and Zeke teamed up against Casey, driving him insane with pleasure until his whole body felt over-sensitized. When they finally abandoned his narrow chest to move farther down, Casey was almost whimpering.

It was tricky, coordinating two mouths and four hands but Billy and Zeke managed it and all three were more than satisfied with the results. 

"You're not done," Casey told them sleepily as he drew both of them up for a lingering kiss. "I want to watch you together." 

Zeke smiled seductively at Billy, but hesitated a moment, giving him time to object before closing in for a kiss. Casey shifted to the side of the bed and smiled as Billy opened his arms to Zeke. 

They weren't really a match, but they fit together perfectly, a surprising puzzle. Casey watched intently as Zeke and Billy moved against each other, Zeke's long perfect body fitting against Billy's shorter broader form. Billy had an irresistible backside and Casey couldn't stop himself from reaching out and running his hand over the lovely curves. 

For just a second, the other boys looked over at him and their expressions of complete trust made him feel warm and safe. 

It felt as though time stopped while they made love to each other, Billy and Zeke pulling Casey back into the tangle and making him helpless with pleasure. The queen-sized bed was a hopeless muddle but the three of them slept deeply and comfortably, long into the next day.


	14. Chapter 14

Zeke was in the kitchen puttering around with pans and bowls and wearing, of all things, boxers and an apron. There was a delicious smelling something in the oven and a pot simmering on the stove. Casey leaned against the doorway and watched, smiling when Zeke muttered something that didn't belong in such a domestic setting. 

"Hey," he said quietly, moving forward. Zeke turned around and gave him a smile. 

"Morning, sleepy." Casey was all sleep- rumpled and adorable and Zeke had to give him a kiss, careful to hold his flour-covered hands out of the way. 

"Mmm." Casey returned the kiss. "What are you making? I'm starved." 

"Thought you might be. We slept through breakfast." Zeke went back to the counter and started stirring something in a big mixing bowl. He looked back over his shoulder at Casey. "Ever make biscuits?" 

Casey shook his head. 

"It's easy. Have a seat and I'll show you. You can work on that while I check the other stuff." Zeke carried the bowl over to the table and set it in front of Casey, then opened a drawer under the oven and took out a cookie sheet. Giving it a quick wipe with the dishcloth he placed it on the table too. With a smile he slipped off the apron and put it on Casey. "Your turn to play dress-up." 

"I can't wear this. It clashes with my eyes," Casey protested, batting his eyes at Zeke. He was rewarded with a leering grin before Zeke got back to work. 

He moved behind Casey, leaning over and guiding Casey's hand to the wooden spoon. "Stir it until all the flour is mixed in, but don't overdo it or they'll taste like hockey pucks." He watched as Casey stirred the thick mixture. 

"Yeah, it's kind of hard to stir. Got it? When you're done you can put them on the tray - one spoonful each 'cause they're drop biscuits." 

Zeke headed over to the oven and opened the door, checking on whatever was cooking. "Ever had breakfast scramble, Case? It's eggs, cheese and sausage. Pretty good." 

Casey laughed, "I thought you said you didn't know how to cook." 

Zeke shrugged, "I pretty much live alone, Case. You can only eat so many McBurgers." 

"I guess. I don't get to eat fast food all that often so I like it. It's better than the cafeteria food at school, anyway." 

"Guess I'll find that out next week." 

"Their mashed potatoes are pretty good. Better than my mom's. She uses instant." Casey's voice trailed off and there was silence for a minute. "I think this is done," Casey said quietly. 

Zeke turned around and there was a funny set to Casey's mouth. "Biscuits look good, Case." Zeke leaned down to pick up the tray, stopping for a quick kiss. "It's OK," he whispered. 

Casey nodded mutely. 

"She makes the best mac and cheese." Casey said after a while. "Real cheese, not that powdered stuff in a box. My dad hates it but she'd make it anyway, just for me." Casey laughed a little unsteadily. "Her chocolate chip cookies are really good." 

Zeke turned the burner under the saucepan to low and took the scramble out of the oven, setting it next to the tray of biscuits. He took a seat beside Casey, placing a hand on his arm in silent support. 

"When I was 12, my dad went away on a business trip. I always wanted to go to New York City so my mom took me. We'd never gone on a trip like that, just the two of us. We spent a whole day in the Metropolitan Museum of Art, just wandering around, exploring. She never complained, or told me to hurry up, just let me drag her all over the place. We had a hotel room up high, near Central Park and I stayed up half the night, just looking out the window." 

Casey turned to Zeke, his eyes dark with conflicting emotions. "I don't hate her," he whispered brokenly. 

Zeke gathered him up and held on tight. 

XXXXX 

"You really think the dean wanted pictures of the inside of the dryer, Case?" 

"Just being thorough, Zeke." Casey looked up from his camera just long enough to give him a grin. 

"I think that's Casey-speak for 'I'm playing with my new camera'," Billy commented, pausing in his remote controlled survey of TV programs. 

"Oh, yeah?" Zeke raised his eyebrows eloquently. Billy snickered. 

"Why don't you two comedians go outside or something?" Casey retorted. 

"Can't move," Billy said, leaning back in the recliner. "I'm too full from all that good food." 

"Well don't get used to it, Billy. You're on supper detail." Zeke settled back on the couch, stretching out. "I did my Happy Homemaker bit for today." 

"Well, all right. PB & J it is." 

"I like peanut butter and jelly," Casey yelled from the other room. The two older boys laughed. 

"There anything you don't eat, Case?" 

"Yeah, liver!" he yelled back his response, sounding muffled and Zeke had to resist the temptation to go see if he had actually squeezed himself into the supply closet to take pictures. 

Billy had found a bad teen comedy to watch and ridicule and Zeke lay back on the couch drowsing, keeping tabs on Casey by the sounds of doors and drawers being opened and closed. 

It was a perfect, lazy afternoon and soon Zeke had drifted off to sleep. 

XXXXX 

"Not so much. No, no... oh, close enough, just throw in some more of everything else to balance it out." 

"Watch it. Ow." 

"Sorry." 

"Is it supposed to smell like that?" 

Zeke tried hard not to laugh. He'd been awake long enough to figure out that Billy and Casey were trying to cook. From the sound of things, it seemed that he was safer right where he was. 

"You sure they don't have pizza delivery around here?" 

"I can't find the oregano, think this stuff'll work?" 

"Pasta doesn't expire, does it?" 

"Where's the thing with the holes." 

"Damn! That's hot." 

And then, louder... 

"I heard that, Zeke. Why don't you get your lazy self over here and set the table or something?" 

Zeke stretched and got up, smoothing his hair and straightening his shirt as he wandered towards the kitchen. 

There was a lot of steam everywhere and red splotches decorated the top of the stove. Casey was at the sink rinsing a colander of spaghetti while Billy rummaged in the fridge. 

"Spaghetti and meatballs," Casey said proudly. "With homemade sauce." He grinned as Zeke eyed the red stuff in the pan on the stove. "We used a cookbook, sort of." 

"Smells good," Zeke assured them, reaching over Casey's shoulder to steal a noodle. 

"Tax," Casey replied, giving Zeke a smooch. 

"Get a room," Billy groused as he walked past. 

Zeke reached out and grabbed him, swinging him into a deep old movie kiss. Casey applauded. 

"All right, wise guy," Billy said when he was upright again. "You ready to eat?" 

"Guess I could stand bite," Zeke replied, giving them both a look that told them he really meant it. 

"Later," Billy said, and Casey nodded in agreement. 

XXXXX 

"Delicious," Zeke declared a short while later when they'd filled their plates and carried them out to the patio to enjoy the sunshine. It was a bit early for supper, but Casey wanted to get more photos of the house and property at sunset. 

There had been a loaf of Italian bread in the breadbox and Billy had made garlic toast to go with the spaghetti. Casey had found a packaged chocolate cake in the freezer and it was sitting on the counter to thaw. 

"So how did the photo session go, Casey?" Billy asked between mouthfuls. 

"Great. Had a little trouble in the living room what with people sleeping and all," he grinned at Zeke, "but I did get some very nice portrait shots." 

"Case?" Zeke pretended to be outraged. 

"Wait `til you see them, Zeke." Casey enthused, a faint blush bringing color to his face. "They're beautiful." He turned towards Billy, "Yours too, though you were harder to catch because you kept waking up. The afternoon sun was just right, gave me lots of light to work with." 

Billy and Zeke exchanged looks. Casey could go on for hours like this. They shared a smile; it was fine with them. 

"So when do I get to take your picture, Casey?" Billy asked when Casey had finally settled down a little. The plates were empty and they were comfortably full. The cake was still a bit cold so they decided to have it later when they watched a movie. 

It took a lot longer to clean the kitchen this time than it had earlier. The stove top proved particularly stubborn, but Zeke volunteered to take care of it so Casey could take his pictures. 

"I've got a little time, yet. I want both of you to come with me," he said softly, tackling one side of the stove top while Zeke labored over the other. Billy opened and closed cupboards and drawers, putting things away. 

XXXXX 

"There, now smile," Casey called, framing his friends in the viewfinder with the cottage behind them. "Perfect." He paused, making a final adjustment, then took the picture. "Done." he yelled, lowering the camera. 

"Now the three of us. Let's see if this timer works." Casey lined the camera up carefully, then placed it on the low wall and hurried over as fast as he could go with crutches on sand to join his friends. "Ready?" he asked breathlessly. 

Zeke and Billy each wrapped an arm around Casey's waist, the three of them pressed together and grinning. A distant click and the photo was taken. 

Casey gave both boys a one-armed hug before heading over to get his camera and finish photographing the exterior of the cottage. 

By the time he completed the circuit, he was breathing hard and sweating despite the cool breeze. Navigating around in the sand was hard work, but maybe he'd have some muscles after all this. 

"Done?" Zeke asked quietly. 

"For now," Casey said, "I might try to get some sunrise shots though." He paused and wiped his forehead. 

"Hang on tight," Zeke instructed, sweeping Casey up into his arms. "Relax." 

Casey rested his head against Zeke's shoulder and closed his eyes, just breathing in the mix of ocean, sand and Zeke. 

"Wanna sit out for a while?" Zeke asked as they reached the patio. 

"No, I think I need to lie down a while. Leg hurts." 

"The sofa it is." He eased Casey down carefully then adjusted the pillows. "How's that?" 

"Good," Casey said with a smile. "Thank you." He reached out and caught Zeke's hand. "Sit with me?" 

Zeke nodded and made himself comfortable on the floor, leaning back against the edge of the sofa. 

"Hey Billy," he called. A minute later Billy emerged from the kitchen with a glass of water which he carried over to Casey.

"Looks like you need this, Casey." 

"Thanks," Casey took the water gratefully and drained the glass. He handed back the empty glass and settled down again. "Want to watch a movie?" 

It took almost fifteen minutes for them to narrow their choices down to two, and in the end they compromised and decided to watch them both. 

XXXXX 

"A shrubbery!" Casey and Billy yelled. Zeke just looked at them, amused. 

"I can't believe you've never seen this movie, Zeke," Casey said for at least the tenth time. He scootched closer to the older boy and grinned up at him. "It's a classic!" 

"Yeah?" Zeke said, returning the grin. He leaned down and gave Casey a lingering kiss. Casey had caught his second wind and was wide awake and in a very responsive mood. 

"Geez, give it a break already." Billy groused good-naturedly. "You're gonna make me miss the movie." He was seated on the sofa with the other boys, Zeke in the middle. 

"Nobody said you had to watch," Zeke reminded him. 

"Who said anything about watch?" Billy grabbed Zeke and Casey in an awkward hug and squeezed tight making them both gasp. "Ooof," Casey said, wiggling against Zeke more because he liked the feel of their bare chests rubbing together than because he thought it would get him free of Billy's grasp. 

"Case is having way too much fun here, Billy. What should we do about it?" 

"Tickle fight!" Billy yelled, wrestling Casey so he was lying with part of his body in Zeke's lap. This put him in the perfect position to tickle Zeke even while he squirmed, trying to get away from Billy. 

Before long they both turned on Zeke and set out to discover all his ticklish spots. Well before the movie ended, the three of them were lying breathless and exhausted on the floor. 

"Haven't done that in a while," Billy gasped. "Joey used to love to catch me when I wasn't paying attention. I always got him back, though. He was way more ticklish than me." 

"Oh, yeah?" Zeke said, grabbing Billy's foot and holding it while Casey tickled. 

"Stop, stop, oh, stop," Billy begged a few minutes later, his face was bright red and tears of laughter were streaming down his face. 

They finally relented and he fell back, limp, onto the pile of pillows. 

Casey looked up at the ruins of the sofa - all of the cushions and pillows were off and scattered around the room. He flopped down onto the nearest cushion. 

"I could just sleep right here," he told the others, yawning widely. He was suddenly very tired. 

"Here, Case? When there's that big soft bed right upstairs?" 

"Mmmm." Casey mumbled, closing his eyes. 

"Come on sleepies," Zeke ordered. "Up you get." He turned off the TV and reached down, helping Casey up, then giving Billy a hand. He led them up the stairs and in minutes they were all cuddled together in bed. 

"Will you get up and watch the sunrise with me?" Casey asked the others. They both said yes, and sealed their promise with a kiss. 

Casey wiggled into a comfortable spot between them and promptly fell asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Billy sighed and shifted, not quite awake yet. There was a line of warmth across his back that was quite nice and he shifted again and smiled. 

A puff of air against his face and the line of warmth shifted downward. Very nice. 

Moist heat on his cheek, whisper soft and then gone. 

Faint sounds, perhaps movement, and then a soft jangle of metal against metal and the swoosh of heavy fabric being pushed aside. 

Pale light suddenly pressed against his eyelids. 

"Wakey, wakey." Warm breath in his ear. Shiver and sigh. 

A deep breath. Pause. Open eyes slowly... 

A pale form by the window, backlit by predawn gray, wearing only boxers, hair mussed from sleep. 

"Casey?" 

"You're awake." Happy, the slight form hopped over, crutches abandoned on the floor. 

"Mmmmmmm," Billy replied, feeling pretty articulate for being up before the sun. He could feel Zeke behind him, still drawing soothing patterns over his back. 

"Smooth talker," Zeke murmured teasingly in his ear. 

"Yeah?" Billy turned over, pressing Zeke back against the pillows. Casey stood over them and laughed. 

"You're gonna miss a gorgeous sunrise," he warned them before snatching up one of the blankets and hopping away with it. He cocooned himself in the blanket and sat down in front of the wall of glass to wait for the sun. His camera was carefully placed nearby. 

"Got something gorgeous to look at already," Zeke replied, tangling his legs with Billy's and twisting so their positions were reversed. 

"Yeah?" Billy asked seductively, trying not to ruin it by laughing. 

"Except the hair," Zeke assured him. "But the ass more than makes up for that." 

"What's wrong with my hair?" Billy demanded, pretending to be outraged. 

"Nothing that a decent haircut couldn't fix," Zeke assured him, leaning down to nip at Billy's shoulder. 

"Ow. What are you...? Mpfh..." Billy protested as Zeke's sharp teeth left a trail of sensation towards his neck and up to his ear. "Oh." 

Zeke lifted his head a moment, smiling down at Billy before shifting to direct his attention, and mouth, to Billy's other side. 

Turning his head, Billy whimpered and his hands tightened on Zeke's back, urging him to continue what he was doing.

A sudden flash of memory hit him and Billy froze. 

Zeke felt the change and stopped immediately, rising up to meet Billy's eyes. 

"You OK?" 

Billy thought about it carefully for a moment, poking and prodding at the memory to see if it was still painful. He was surprised to discover it was not; in fact it was good. 

He and Joey loved to spend lazy Sunday mornings in bed together, just exploring each other's bodies, delighting in new discoveries of sensitive spots. Lying here now, with Zeke heavy against him in the drowsy pre-dawn, Billy felt a little like he had with Joey. It had been so long. He was so afraid he'd lost this forever. 

"It's OK," Zeke whispered, kissing Billy's eyelids. "I'm not trying to take anyone's place." 

Billy didn't answer with words, instead, he found other ways to share his feelings. 

Casey smiled as the first bit of sunlight broke the gray. The soft sounds from the bed were like music to welcome in the day. 

Taking up his camera, he struggled to his feet and stepped into the familiar world inside the viewfinder. He captured the fragile new dawn, documenting it's emergence until he could no longer resist the beauty in the room itself. 

He moved quietly, hypnotized by the bodies moving together. The sunlight painted them pale gold, but bathed him in silver, keeping him apart, an observer to render them immortal. 

The camera caught the beauty and framed it, preserving it, moving between the entwined pair and the dawn until the sun had emerged and the film and the bodies were spent. 

Moving quietly, Casey found the offerings in Zeke's suitcase and his own and carried them to the bed. Taking a seat on the edge, he placed the items on the pillow and quickly switched new film for old. 

Reaching out slowly, Zeke took one of the items and looked at Billy for acceptance or refusal. 

Billy studied Casey and Zeke for a long minute before accepting. 

The camera was ready, and froze that moment of purity when the two men merged. 

The second roll of film was almost complete when motion, which had grown increasingly frantic and demanding, stopped and muscles went bowstring taut. 

Now. 

The penultimate image: that of total surrender and trust. 

More soft sounds and slow movements and then, the final image, the one that blurred just a bit in the viewfinder as Casey's eyes teared.. 

Tangled perfection reaching out to him in supplication... 

Join us. 

Casey laid the camera aside carefully and obeyed. He slid into the warmth, accepted the love and completed the circle.


	16. Chapter 16

Billy slid out of bed carefully, trying not to disturb his sleeping companions. Zeke was curled around Casey, his head resting on the smaller boy's chest while Casey's arm was draped over Zeke's back. 

The early morning sun was gone, hidden behind thick clouds that promised a storm. Billy wrapped himself in the blanket that Casey had abandoned earlier and stood gazing out at the ocean. 

A part of him thought he should analyze things, figure out the why of what had happened a few hours ago. The rest of him just wanted to cherish it, not pick at it until it lost its shine. 

Sometimes you just had to accept. It was like that with the bad, why couldn't it be that way for the good? Yes, it was different with Zeke, and with Casey for that matter, but things hadn't gone as far with him. But it didn't really change anything important, at least not the way he'd feared it might. His memories of Joey were still clear and pure but they no longer burned. 

A soft movement beyond the window drew Billy's attention and he squinted at it, then smiled. It was snowing. 

XXXXX 

Casey was content. Zeke didn't even have to open his eyes to see it, he could feel it in the way Casey held him, one hand playing with Zeke's hair while the other held Zeke's hand, their fingers interlaced. 

Zeke could feel the steady rhythm of Casey's breathing and he was tempted to let it lull him back to sleep. In the distance he heard muted voices; Billy must be watching TV. 

The morning air was cool on his exposed skin, but Casey and the blankets kept the rest of him comfortably warm. It would be so easy just to stay here and drift. 

The soft kiss on the top of his head changed his mind. 

"Hi," Casey whispered when Zeke looked up at him. "Surprise." Zeke blinked in confusion, then movement beyond Casey caught his attention. 

A shifting curtain of white danced outside the window. Snow. 

Zeke smiled back at Casey. "Got a surprise for you, too, Case." 

"Really?" Casey's eyes lit up, a vibrant blue. "What is it?" 

"Gonna make you something special for breakfast, but I'm not gonna tell you what. You'll just have to wait and be surprised." 

Casey faked a pout, then relented and kissed him. 

"You OK?" Zeke asked, pulling away long enough to shift up and draw Casey against him, bringing the blanket up and tucking it around them. 

The smaller boy's eyes were bright but he thought carefully before answering. He looked directly into Zeke's eyes as he spoke. 

"I never imagined that anyone could love me, let alone trust me with something so precious..." He blinked against the sudden moisture in his eyes. "For you and Billy to let me..." his voice broke and he shook his head, overwhelmed. 

"It wasn't letting, Case, it was sharing. The three of us." Zeke cradled Casey's bandaged arm in his hand and gently stroked it. "We need you, Casey. You have to promise me, promise us, that you'll never, ever hurt yourself again." Zeke didn't struggle against tears, he let them flow, washing away the lump of pain and fear he'd been carrying in his chest since finding Casey leaning over that sink with his blood flowing. 

Casey crushed himself against Zeke, fingers clutching, hurting just enough to ground them as they exorcised some of their fears. It was like a storm on the ocean, tossing them helplessly, battering them. but they clung to each other until it passed. 

"Am I gonna get my surprise soon?" Casey asked quietly after they'd calmed. Zeke managed a laugh. 

"Yes, I must get his majesty's breakfast." Zeke sat up fast with a groan, then leaned back and kissed Casey on the nose. 

"You can take a shower first, if you want," Casey offered magnanimously. 

"You are too kind," Zeke joked, finally hauling himself up out of the bed. He cast one last look back at the dual temptation of Casey and that big, soft bed before dragging himself off to the bathroom. 

XXXXX 

"So you are still alive," Billy commented by way of greeting. He watched Zeke descend the stairs and head into the kitchen getting a hand on the shoulder in greeting as Zeke walked by. 

"Casey around yet or is he still sleeping?" 

"Last I saw he was taking pictures of snowflakes. Probably won't see him `til the film runs out." 

There were all kinds of intriguing pan clanging and drawer opening sounds coming from the kitchen so Billy shut off the TV and went to investigate. 

"Dean Parker called a little while ago. Said the storm was pretty bad up there; the roads are a mess. He told us to stay here another day and not risk driving in this. Seems a lot of students aren't going to make it back in time for classes tomorrow." 

Zeke looked towards the window and frowned. "It doesn't look that bad here, but I wouldn't want to drive into anything heavier than this; the visibility would be pretty bad." 

"He said he'd call tomorrow morning around 10 and let us know if it was safe to drive back." Billy smiled and stretched. "Meanwhile, we'll just have to make do, all alone in this little cottage." 

Zeke snorted and set a frying pan on the stove. Then took the apron from where it was folded over the oven door handle and put it on. 

"Nice," Billy smirked. 

"Yeah? You should see it on Case." Zeke opened the fridge and foraged, emerging a minute later with the saucepan he'd been simmering something in yesterday. 

"So what is that?" Billy asked, unable to restrain himself. He and Casey had gotten strict instructions not to peek. 

"A surprise," Zeke said, then grinned because Casey was in the living room trying to balance on one foot while he twisted and turned his head and his camera to capture the snow at strange angles. It was quite amusing to watch. 

"Think I'll go play prop for a while, see if I can keep him from falling over." Billy went to help Casey and Zeke busied himself with making breakfast. 

XXXXX 

"I smell pancakes," Casey announced happily, stopping to snap Zeke's picture as he hobbled into the room. 

"Crepes," Zeke corrected, looking up to enjoy Casey's reaction. "With apple filling." 

"Really? Like real French crepes?" Casey came closer and examined the thin, pale batter frying in the pan. The saucepan with the apple filling was warming on low heat on a back burner. 

"Yeah," Zeke grinned. "Sound good?" 

"Sounds wonderful." Casey leaned against Zeke for a minute, giving him an armless hug, then headed across the room to the dish cupboard. "I'll set the table." 

"Anything I can do, Zeke?" Billy asked from the doorway. 

"Yeah," Casey said before Zeke could answer. "We need music." 

"But none of that crap you like, Billy!" Zeke yelled after him. Minutes later a classic rock tune was playing and the three of them were singing along. 

XXXXX 

"Those crepes were delicious," Casey exclaimed again as he put away the last of the clean dishes. He closed the cupboard door and hopped over to Zeke for a hug. 

"So what do we do now?" Billy asked. "We've got a free day." 

"Well...." Casey said, exchanging a look with Billy. "There is one thing I'd like." 

"What's that?" Zeke asked. 

"A shrubbery!" Casey yelled, laughing. Billy headed off to get the video ready while Casey dragged a groaning Zeke to the sofa. 

Just before the movie started, Casey leaned over to Zeke and asked: "Have you ever heard of Inigo Montoya?" 

"I'd say no, Case, but that would be... inconceivable."


	17. Chapter 17

"Hey, not fair!" Casey yelled as Billy and Zeke pelted him with snowballs. He shook a crutch at them in warning but Zeke just beaned him with another snowball. 

"Oh, coldcoldcold." He wiggled, making the others laugh. "It went down my shirt." 

"Yeah? Did it make you all cold?" Zeke came over slowly, moving seductively, licking his lips. "Want me to make you warm again?" 

Casey could feel the heat already, even before Zeke was standing right in front of him, reaching for him. 

"Hey!" Casey squirmed, trying to get away but Zeke already had him and was shoving a handful of snow down his shirt. He followed it with a searing kiss, his body pressed close until Casey barely felt the cold wet snow melting against his chest. 

"Better?" Zeke asked, grinning. 

"It will be in a second," Casey drawled, gripping Zeke's jacket tightly to keep him close. A second later Zeke was yelling and squirming while Billy shoved snow down his back. 

"Oh, want me to kiss it and make it all better?" Billy teased, and Zeke found himself caught between the two boys, a willing prisoner. 

"So," Billy asked cheerfully, did we have enough outside in the cold type fun yet? Can we go in now?" 

"Not yet," Zeke told him, turning around fast and wrapping Billy in a tight embrace. "Case?" 

He moved pretty fast for using crutches on snow and although Billy knew what to expect the handful of snow down his back still made him shiver. 

"Now we can go in." Casey declared, and he led them back into the house. 

XXXXX 

"Hot chocolate with marshmallows. Mmmm." 

Casey set the last of the steaming mugs on the table and called the others, interrupting their spirited debate about Led Zeppelin. 

"I don't like marshmallows," Billy said, frowning at the half-melted lump floating in his mug. 

"How can you not like marshmallows? That's like not liking... I don't know... vanilla ice cream or something." 

"I prefer fudge ripple." 

"Well that has vanilla in it." 

"You like marshmallows so much, here," Billy fished what was left of his marshmallow out with a spoon and dumped it into Casey's mug. 

"Fine. More for me," Casey grinned and took a sip of the hot chocolate. "Mmmm." 

Zeke just smiled into his mug and didn't say a word. 

"You're not getting off that easy, Zeke," Billy said, poking Zeke with his spoon. "What's your stance on the whole marshmallow controversy." 

"I'm a neutral party, Billy. You'll have to find someone else to support your cause." 

"That could be your senior project, Billy," Casey suggested. "Marshmallows: good or evil." He laughed, "Just don't get Snuffy involved." 

Billy tried to explain some of Snuffy's wilder conspiracy theories - especially Snuffy's idea that coat hangers were aliens - to Zeke with frequent interjections from Casey until the three of them were laughing helplessly. 

They decided that Snuffy probably thought marshmallows were aliens. Billy was so amused that he didn't even protest when Casey poured him more hot chocolate and added two marshmallows. 

XXXXX 

"That was the best prank ever. It was epic. I even saw the dean smiling, though he'd probably deny it." 

"You really moved the whole office, all of the furniture, the books and everything in one night?" 

"Yup, and put everything in exactly the right place, even small things like pens and the headmaster's tea cup." 

Billy's smile faded the tiniest bit. "That was the last prank Joey and I pulled together. Right after that the terrorists came."

Zeke leaned over and wrestled Billy into a hug. They tussled for a few minutes while Casey lay on the couch and watched, cheering them on. 

"So what's the dean's story, anyway?" Zeke asked when they had settled down again. "I mean, he's gone way past just doing his job this past week. And he's damn near psychic." 

"Yeah," Casey added, "he reminds me of that guy from Sesame Street." 

"The one in the trashcan?" Billy asked. 

"No, that's Oscar the grouch. He's a muppet. You know... what's his name?" Casey looked at Zeke for help. 

"Gordon," Zeke said quietly, a distant expression on his face. 

"Yeah. He was always nice." Casey reached out and pulled Zeke over to lean against the sofa. "I used to wish he was my dad." 

"Me too," Zeke admitted softly looking at Casey, sharing a bittersweet memory. 

After a while Billy spoke up. "I wanted Mr. Rogers for my dad. I wanted to play with that train." 

"Dork. That was a trolley, not a train." Casey tossed a pillow at Billy and they all laughed. 

XXXXX 

"Billy?" 

"Yeah, Casey." 

"When we get back... how did you and Joey manage to...?" Casey struggled over the words but Billy understood what he was asking. 

"How did we keep our relationship secret?" 

Casey nodded and Zeke put down the book he was reading. It had been on both their minds. 

"It was hard at first. We weren't too careful, and almost got caught kissing in the hallway." Billy shrugged. "So we made it a challenge, our biggest joke, to see if we could fool everybody. We were pretty good at it, and it made the times we were alone that much better." 

"I guess we can do that, think of it like a challenge," Casey said slowly. "But it's going to be hard getting used to sleeping alone again." 

"We'll think of something, Case. And it's only for a few months and then we'll graduate." 

"And I'll still be at the school and you'll be living somewhere else." 

"Unless we get our own place," Billy added. "An apartment or condo we could all share." 

"I don't think I'll be able to afford an apartment. My job won't pay much because it includes room and board." 

Zeke set his book aside and walked over to the sofa, squeezing in with Casey. "We'll work it out, Case. It'll be OK." 

Casey, rested his head on Zeke's shoulder and let himself believe.


	18. Chapter 18

"This was your idea, Billy." 

Billy groaned and stood up, peeling off his shirt and tossing it onto the pile with the other discarded clothes. So far, most of the items were his. 

"Can't I at least wrap up in a blanket? It's cold in here." 

"Just hurry up and lose once more and we're done. Then we'll find something to do that will keep you warm." Casey gave Billy a grin and rearranged his winnings. 

"You keep eating those marshmallows, Case, and you won't have anything left to bet." 

Casey looked at his large pile of marshmallows compared to the other boy's much smaller piles and popped another marshmallow in his mouth. 

"Your deal," he told Zeke sounding a bit muffled. 

"'Kay. Five card stud, nothing wild." 

Billy took one look at his hand and groaned. Setting the cards down he stood up and started to remove his boxers. "I surrender." 

"No way," Zeke protested, putting out a hand to stop Billy from undressing. "Winner gets the privilege. Makes it more interesting." 

Casey made a show of suddenly being very interested in his cards. 

Billy grinned and sat down, deciding that he wasn't all that cold anyway. 

"Yes!" Casey said a few minutes later as he happily claimed the remaining marshmallows. He fed one to Zeke as a consolation for losing and followed it with a kiss. 

"Now, you..." Casey tried to look predatory and failed, making Billy and Zeke laugh. "C'mere," he beckoned and Billy obeyed. 

"I think," he finger walked up Billy's bare chest to his neck and up, stopping at his mouth. "That you would be much warmer upstairs." 

"Yeah?" Billy challenged, nipping at Casey's fingers, catching them gently between his teeth and tickling the fingertips with his tongue. 

"Mmmhmm," Casey replied, almost purring. 

"Okay," Zeke announced, pushing away from the table. "I'll go turn off lights and check the locks while you two take this upstairs." 

Casey withdrew his fingers slowly, moving them teasingly across Billy's lips before lowering his hand to the table. 

"Don't make us wait too long, Zeke," Casey called as he followed Billy up the stairs. 

Zeke watched as Casey and Billy worked their way up the stairs, taunting each other and making faces. He laughed and shook his head. He was glad to see Casey so happy and relaxed. 

Drawing the drapes in the living room, Zeke headed upstairs. The snow had stopped several hours before but the cottage was still a bit cool, despite raising the thermostat. He was halfway up the stairs when he heard Billy scream, "No!" followed by a crash. 

Racing to the bedroom, Zeke stopped in the doorway, shocked. Casey lay on the floor, cringing in shock and pain. Billy was over him, hand raised to strike. 

"Billy! Stop!" Zeke tackled Billy, knocking him down onto the bed. He was promptly thrown aside and a minute later Billy was over him, pinning him painfully. 

"Don't touch me!" he screamed. His face was scarlet with rage and there was desperation and fear in his eyes. 

Zeke went completely still, his eyes locked onto Billy. "It's OK, Billy, it's just me. I won't hurt you." Zeke kept up a steady stream of reassurances until Billy finally loosened his painful grip. 

"Billy?" Casey said softly, looking and sounding like he might cry. "I'm sorry," he whispered brokenly. 

Billy pressed back against the headboard and started to shake. 

"What happened?" Zeke demanded, looking at Casey. Right before his eyes, Casey shrank. Zeke watched as he retreated into himself until he was the Casey of a year ago, frightened and battered, expecting to he hurt. 

"I was teasing him. I didn't mean... I was going to... I came up behind him and grabbed his waist and pushed him down on the bed but... but he yelled and... he was going to hit me..." 

If it were physically possible, Casey would have shrunk in on himself until he disappeared. Zeke felt his stomach tighten at the familiar sight. He ached to comfort Casey, but for the moment, Billy needed his attention. 

Billy was shaking so hard his teeth were chattering and he was gasping for breath. Zeke grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around Billy. Looking over at Casey standing in the corner he reached out. "Would you help me please, Case?" 

Slowly the boy hobbled over. As he got closer Zeke could see that he was shaking too, but not as violently. 

"I need you to wrap up in a blanket and get warm, Case. I'm going to sit here with Billy for a while, okay?" 

Casey nodded obediently and wrapped himself in a blanket. 

"Good, now just relax for a minute while I talk to Billy." 

Casey nodded again and sat down carefully on the end of the bed. 

"Billy," Zeke said softly, mindful not to move suddenly or lean too close. "I'm going to move a little and let you get more comfortable, okay?" 

He didn't get a response, but Billy didn't try to get away when Zeke brushed against him as he shifted. 

"You're not shivering as much. Are you warm enough?" 

This time there was a slight nod. 

"Would you like to lie down?" 

A long pause, then another slight nod. 

"Okay, I'll just help you up get covered up. I won't move fast or touch you anywhere but your arms, okay?" 

Billy accepted Zeke's help, sliding down under the covers and getting comfortable. He was calming down, but he was still shaking slightly. 

"I'm going to lay down beside you, Billy. Is that okay?" 

Slowly Zeke slid under the covers, then motioned for Casey to join him. Casey complied, almost reluctantly, moving slowly, as if he was expecting Zeke or Billy to change their minds and send him away. When he lay down he didn't slide closer to Zeke, seeking contact, instead he cringed away. 

Zeke closed his eyes and calmed himself. There was no time for weakness now. He had to make sure both boys were all right and then figure out what had happened to upset Billy so severely. 

It was a lonely, exhausting vigil, but when Billy reached out to him at 2:17 am, Zeke was there. 

"Hey," Billy whispered. "You're awake?" 

"Yeah. How are you doing?" Zeke kept himself very still, careful to do nothing to startle Billy. 

"Okay." The word wasn't convincing but Zeke didn't push. 

"How's Casey?" Billy asked at last. He didn't meet Zeke's eyes. "Is he... I didn't hurt him?" 

"He was a little upset, Billy, but he'll be fine. He's asleep." Zeke wasn't sure that was true, but Casey hadn't moved in a while so he might be sleeping. 

There was a long uncomfortable silence and then Billy sighed. "I guess you want to know what happened." 

"I think I need to, Billy, but it doesn't have to be right this minute." 

Shifting, more sighing, and then: "No, I think I need to get it over with. It will just be harder if I wait, and I'll still need to explain it to Casey." 

Another long silence. Finally Billy cleared his throat and spoke. "I told you about Cali, the terrorist, the one who gave me the scars?" 

"Yes." 

"The. beating... it hurt so much and. he enjoyed it, you know? He said things, and he touched me. I thought... I was so afraid he would..." 

Zeke could hear Billy's rapid breathing and feel the tension in his body. He reached out one hand and placed it gently over Billy's. 

Billy welcomed the touch, taking Zeke's hand and holding tight. He was losing the battle against tears and needed to get the rest of the words out before he could no longer speak without sobbing. 

"After he was done with the pointer he... ran his hand down over the cuts and he licked the blood. He forced me to taste it. He was laughing at me, leering, and I thought... right up until he sent me away I thought he was going to..." Billy pressed his face against Zeke's neck. "I would have let him... I wouldn't have been strong enough to fight him. He knew it. He let me know that he knew it." 

Billy took a shuddering breath then continued Talking, his voice quavering. "I cleaned myself up and I went out to where Joey was waiting for me with the others, and I didn't let him touch me, I didn't want him to touch me because I thought he would be able to tell what a coward I was. I thought Joey wouldn't want me anymore. Then they took Joey away and ten minutes later he was dead and I kept thinking that now no one would ever know and my secret would be safe." 

He reached out to Zeke, letting himself be drawn into a tight embrace, still fighting against the tears so he could say what needed to be said. 

"When Casey came up behind me like that, and pushed me down, I felt the weight on my back and I thought... all I could think of was Cali and how I had to get away, how I wouldn't let him hurt me this time." He clutched at Zeke desperately. "I didn't mean to hurt Casey. I would never... You know would I wouldn't..." 

"I know, Billy. Casey knows too. He was just scared but he's fine now. Try to rest." He drew Billy closer and held him, wishing desperately that the dean were here to handle this. 

He held on through Billy's tears, and the long calming down, and even into sleep. 

Only when Billy was softly snoring did Zeke allow himself to reach out to Casey, bridging the gap that had separated them through the long night. And only when Casey reached back and took his hand, was Zeke able to close his eyes and sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

Casey was awake when Zeke returned to the bedroom, his blue eyes dark, and his face tight with concern. 

"How is he?" 

"Okay, I think. He's downstairs watching TV. I think he needs some time to himself." Zeke slid under the covers and drew Casey close. There was a moment of hesitation and then Casey relaxed against him. "How are you, Case?" 

Casey shrugged. "Okay." 

"How much did you hear last night?" Zeke placed a finger under Casey's chin and tilted his head up so he could look into his eyes. "You heard everything, didn't you?" 

"I wasn't asleep," Casey admitted, looking ashamed. "I didn't want to say anything; I thought Billy might get upset." 

"Maybe you should tell him that you know. He was worried about you." 

"Me? Why?" 

"Billy would never intentionally hurt you, Case." 

"I know, I..." Zeke could see Casey struggling against so many years of being hurt, of having no one to trust. "I know," he whispered at last. 

Zeke closed his eyes. He felt weary to the very center of his being. He couldn't do this; he was a loner. He knew how to take care of himself, not how to care for such wounded souls. They were so fragile and he was so clumsy and foolish. 

Casey pulled away and Zeke felt it like a condemnation. Proof that he wasn't good enough. His throat tightened painfully. 

The heat surprised him and he opened his eyes. Casey was there, so close, just a few painful inches apart. Before Zeke could reach for him, Casey closed the distance. 

The kiss was sweet, hot and deep, neither asking nor demanding. It soothed Zeke, made him weak with relief. 

They didn't speak; words weren't enough right now. Instead they used their whole being to bring each other pleasure. It wasn't desperate or fearful but it was fragile and they were both very aware of that, taking extra care. 

The bottle that Casey had offered to Zeke just a day ago sat on the nightstand. Casey reached for it now, his eyes asking permission. 

"Case..." Zeke whispered, his needy voice breaking the silence at last. No one had ever asked him for this, and it surprised him how much he wanted it now with Casey. 

"Is this all right?" Casey whispered back. "I don't want to hurt you." He was completely vulnerable, risking the pain of rejection to offer love. 

"Oh, Case." Zeke pulled the boy close, holding him tight, just breathing him in, memorizing him. Slowly he loosened his hold, shifting them both on their sides so they could prepare each other. 

"I want us to be able to see each other," Casey insisted, easing Zeke onto his back and giving him a kiss. He arranged pillows to make Zeke more comfortable. 

"Are you ready?" Casey asked nervously. Zeke had done his best to be gentle with Casey both times they'd done this, and the pain had quickly faded. Casey was afraid he would do something wrong and hurt Zeke. 

"Guide me," Casey pleaded. He was careful to keep his eyes open as they came together. His reward was Zeke's unguarded expression of love, an expression that matched Casey's own. 

They never heard Billy walking up the stairs, didn't notice him standing in the doorway. Weren't aware that he watched them for a moment, smiling wistfully, then left, not wanting to intrude. 

He went downstairs and made himself some hot chocolate and curled up on the sofa, looking out at the water and the snow, letting his mind drift. 

Images of Cali kept intruding but they didn't terrify him quite as much now. He'd managed to avoid thinking about what had happened for a long time, using his grief over Joey's death as a shield to protect him. But that shield had served to isolate him as well, and the good memories had been bottled up with the bad. Now that they were both out, the good memories of Joey helped to soften the sting of the bad memories of Cali. 

Poor Casey. Billy felt terrible for what had happened last night. He'd have to talk to Casey later, try and explain, certainly offer an apology. 

A muffled cry - he thought it was Zeke - sounded and Billy smiled again. There was a little twinge of envy, of course, but mostly he felt happy for his friends. He knew he was still part of the circle, but this moment had to be theirs alone. 

Setting aside the empty mug, he lay back on the sofa and closed his eyes, listening to his friends make love. 

XXXXX 

Casey collapsed, spent, on Zeke's chest. He lay there for a long minute just feeling, before lifting his head to look closely at his lover. 

"You OK?" he whispered. 

Zeke didn't answer right away, he just smiled and wrapped his arms around Casey. Finally he replied, "More than OK, Case." 

"Yeah?" There was shyness and a tiny bit of pride in that voice. 

"Yeah." Zeke assured, giving him a kiss. With a contented sigh Zeke lay back on the soft pillows and savored the lingering pleasure. Casey snuggled closer and fell asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

"Oatmeal," Billy explained as Casey investigated the contents of the pan on the stove. He shrugged, "At least I didn't burn it." 

"Oatmeal's good, Billy. Is there any honey left?" Zeke asked as he walked past, pausing to give Billy's shoulder a quick squeeze. 

"Cupboard next to the stove." 

Casey got bowls and spoons and dished out the oatmeal while Zeke got the milk and honey. Billy refused the offer of more oatmeal but welcomed more coffee. 

"You're getting pretty good at that, Case," Zeke said, watching as Casey balanced the bowls carefully and hopped over to the table. 

"Yeah, I might actually have some muscles by the time I get the cast off." He made a face as he sat down. "First thing I'm going to do when they take the thing off is scratch my leg. It itches like crazy." 

"You just need something to take your mind off it, Case." Zeke leered and Casey blushed just the slightest bit. Billy reached over and thwacked Zeke. 

"Don't start that again, the dean called while you were upstairs. He said the roads should be OK for driving and he expects us all in class tomorrow. Oh, and you're to report to his office at 8 a.m. sharp, Zeke" 

"We should straighten up before we go." Casey blushed again. "Probably ought to wash the bedding and towels at least." 

"Nope, the dean said the cleaning service comes in every Wednesday. We're just supposed to put everything that needs to be washed in the hamper except for wet towels which get hung on the rack in the bathroom." Billy made a face. "Sounded just like my mother." 

"How soon do we need to leave?" Casey asked, looking around, suddenly reluctant to leave. It was nice here, removed from the world and all its pains and annoyances. He looked over at Billy and blinked. Maybe not so removed after all. 

Billy reached across the table and touched Casey's hand, his intent clear. Casey shook his head to stop Billy's words before they started, their eyes conveyed everything that needed to be shared about Billy's actions last night. Apology offered and accepted. Subject closed. 

"My turn to wash," Zeke said, pushing away from the table and gathering up the empty bowls and cups. "If we get cleaned up and packed fast enough, we'll have time to throw more snowballs at you, Case." 

"Oh, that's incentive." Casey rolled his eyes, but dutifully took the dish towel and started drying as Zeke washed. Billy took the dry dishes from Casey and put them away. The kitchen work was finished in five minutes. 

"I already straightened down here so it's just the bedroom and bathroom, then packing and we're done. Good thing we did laundry yesterday; it will save the trouble when we get back." 

"Thanks for letting us... sleep in, Billy." Casey said, a happy smile on his face. "Sorry you had to do all the work down here." 

Billy shrugged. "There really wasn't that much, now come on, let's get packed and get out of here. If you two slackers get your butts on that sofa we'll be here another day." 

"Yes, Mom," Zeke said cheekily, giving Billy a kiss on the nose as he walked past and started up the stairs. 

"Hey, you'll be the one answering to the dean," he yelled up the stairs. It was probably a good thing Zeke's reply was too muffled to be heard. 

XXXXX 

The ride back to school was subdued. Casey insisted that Billy ride in back so he could sleep, which he did for most of the trip. 

In the front seat, Zeke and Casey talked about random things, neither one ready to address the realities that awaited them at the end of the ride. They picked a nice restaurant and lingered over a huge meal, knowing that it was back to cafeteria food the next day. 

Drowsy and full, Casey took the back seat for the rest of the journey and it was Billy's turn to share quiet conversation with Zeke. 

It felt odd that the return trip was so subdued, as if their lives had changed while they were away and there should be some kind of old-movie fanfare to herald their return. Instead they were greeted by snowdrifts and the normal sounds of students enjoying an unexpected day off. 

"Billy!" Snuffy yelled, hurrying towards the car as they were unloading their suitcases. "Wondered where you'd disappeared to." 

"Hey, Snuffy. Went on a road trip." Billy slapped Snuffy on the back and turned him towards Zeke. "Meet Zeke Tyler, he's the new guy." 

"Snuffy Bradberry," Snuffy held out his hand and Zeke shook it. "Real name's Jonathan but only my Mom and the dean call me that." 

"Nice to meet another reject," Zeke replied, grinning. 

"Yeah." Snuffy turned to Casey. "Man, what happened to you?" 

"Fell out of a tree." Casey answered with a shrug. Snuffy was nice, even if he did have some pretty wild theories about almost everything. 

"Taking pictures?" Snuffy guessed and Casey nodded. "Well be more careful, you don't want to kill yourself before graduation." 

Snuffy was really confused when the three other boys all laughed nervously. 

XXXXX 

"So anyway, that's how I knew what really happened to all those missing pen caps." 

Billy was laughing so hard he could barely get the door to their room unlocked. Snuffy was in full conspiracy theory mode today and he'd entertained them with his latest the whole way from the parking lot. 

The door across the hall opened and Hank looked out. "'Bout time you got your butt back here, Billy. What'd you do, pick up a stray?" 

"Yeah. Hank, Zeke Tyler. Zeke, this is Hank. He's harmless." 

"That's what he thinks," Hank retorted crossing the hall to join the group. Turning aside he yelled, "Hey Montoya, get your head out of your books and get out here." 

A minute later the door next to Hank's opened and Ricardo came out with another, younger boy and they both joined the group that had now moved into Billy, Casey and Zeke's room. 

"Ricardo, Yogurt," Billy pointed to each boy in turn, "Zeke Tyler, blah blah blah. Introduce yourselves, I'm done with the host bit." Billy dumped his suitcase on the floor and dropped onto his bed. 

Casey and Zeke sat down on Casey's bed while Hank claimed Zeke's. Ricardo sat on the floor by Yogurt, whose real name was Derek but only the dean and his teachers ever called him that. 

Hank asked Casey about his leg so he had to tell about falling out of the tree again, then they asked Zeke about transferring and before long it was suppertime and everyone decided they needed pizza. 

By the time the food arrived they had survived the "what I did on vacation" stories and had moved on to regaling Zeke with amusing and frightening stories about the school and its faculty. 

By 9 o'clock, Zeke was no longer able to hide his fatigue and Casey suggested they all get some rest. It took three tries and nearly twenty minutes before they actually left. 

Finally alone and ready for bed, they faced the problem that had been in the back of all their minds; sleeping arrangements. 

They were all tired, particularly Zeke, and they all knew they wouldn't sleep well alone. Helplessly, they looked at each other.

"Felt," Casey said suddenly. 

"What?" Zeke asked fuzzily. He was getting more tired by the minute. At this rate he'd fall asleep where he stood in less than ten minutes. 

"Tomorrow after class we go to the store and get felt, the kind with the adhesive on the back. Cut it to size and stick it on the bottom of the bed legs. See? There." Casey pointed it out. "We'll be able to move the beds without making a lot of noise and the felt won't be too noticeable." 

"Great idea, Casey." Billy said enthusiastically. Zeke just yawned. 

"We'll just have to be careful to move the beds apart every morning." 

"Right now, though, lets just move them together so I can get some sleep." Even without the felt, they moved the beds as quietly as they could. 

Zeke was asleep almost as soon as he laid down. Casey and Billy joined him shortly after, but none of them slept particularly well. They were each, in their own way, worried about what the days ahead would bring.


	21. Chapter 21

Zeke staggered into the room and dropped a huge stack of textbooks onto the nearest bed before collapsing beside them.

"Should I ask how your first day went?" Billy inquired mildly, looking up from his desk. The room had been rearranged to accommodate a third desk and dresser that had been delivered just an hour ago and he still wasn't quite used to it. 

"I think Parker's trying to kill me." 

"Oh, you got Sorens." 

"Yeah. Case tried to warn me, but I never imagined anyone could be so boring." Zeke rolled over onto his stomach and surveyed the room. "So where is Case?" 

"Where else?" Billy replied, turning his attention back to his homework. "So what's your schedule like?" 

"It's really not that bad," Zeke admitted. "Case is in most of my classes, except for Physics and P.E." 

"Who'd you get for P.E.?" 

"Coach Patrick. Brown for Physics." 

Billy nodded. "Patrick's not bad - yells a lot but he's really OK. Brown's kind of absent-minded; you can get him off-track by asking questions that don't have anything to do with Physics. Works great if you need more time to study, but don't over use it. He's not that absent-minded." 

"Thanks," Zeke said, smiling as he dragged himself off the bed and lugged his books to his desk. He settled himself into the uncomfortable chair and consulted his assignment book. Not quite ready to start working, he idly flipped through the top text, then gave up and closed it, standing up and stretching. 

"Hard time getting started?" Billy asked looking sympathetic. Zeke didn't exactly strike him as the study for hours type. 

"Yeah," Zeke shrugged. "Not used to the idea of wanting to graduate, I guess." 

"That why you're repeating your senior year? Just not ready for the real world?" Billy asked the question without accusation, honestly curious. 

"Never really had a reason to graduate. Now," Zeke shrugged again. "Can't let Case go off and leave me behind." 

"Or me," Billy reminded him, trying to be cheeky and not quite managing it. 

"Or you, Billy." With a sigh, Zeke dropped back into the chair and picked up the textbook again. He made a valiant effort to get started on his homework while Billy sat and watched. 

"You know the problem is, Zeke?" Billy asked finally. "You're not really settled in here. It's been what, a week? You don't have any of your stuff." 

Zeke looked around. Billy's part of the room looked lived in, and even Case had his CDs and some photos. All Zeke had was what he'd packed in one suitcase for an impulse trip. 

"Yeah," Zeke agreed, surprised at how much he suddenly wanted to be surrounded by familiar belongings. He thought about calling his mother or a friend and arranging for them to pack up and send his things, but then admitted that the only person he'd even consider trusting with such a task was the person he'd come to Virginia to see. 

"Wonder if Case would be willing to go home with me this weekend and help me pack some stuff." 

"You sure that's a good idea, Zeke?" Billy asked carefully. "It'll be hard for him to be that close to his parents." 

"I know," Zeke nodded, looking thoughtful. "I could make the trip alone." 

"In a weekend? No way. What if the three of us went? That is if you don't mind the third wheel. We can take turns driving." 

"You're hardly a third wheel, Billy." Zeke raised his eyebrows. "You need a reminder?" 

Billy smiled back. "Not right now or I won't get my homework done." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "You know, I'm still not quite sure how things worked out the way they did at the beach, but I don't ever intend to get between you and Casey, Zeke. You want me out, just say so." 

"Really? That easy?" Zeke studied Billy for a long moment. "You care for him that much that you'd walk away from your own feelings?" 

"Not just him, Zeke." Billy looked away, embarrassed. "But I don't ever want to... cause a problem between you. I'd rather leave than see that happen." 

"Oh, bullshit." 

"Excuse me?" 

"You heard me. I was there in that cottage, Billy. I was in that bed. You're not that good an actor." Zeke leaned forward, all dark- eyed and intense, his full focus on Billy. 

"So what? We live happily ever after in our gay little circle?" Billy scoffed. 

"Bi, actually, Billy, but that's beside the point." 

"Oh, excuse me, yes, let's be accurate. Three bis in a triangle." 

"Why not?" Zeke challenged. "Case needs us both. We need each other. We both need Case. Circle complete. We're not using you, Billy. And I don't think you're using us. So where's the harm?" He leaned forward, holding Billy's gaze, lowering his voice. "Could you really walk away from either of us?" 

Poised, teetering, ready to fall with the weight of the lie he wanted to believe... the ring of the telephone saved him. 

"Answer," Zeke demanded and he wasn't referring to the phone. Billy reached for the telephone but Zeke was there in an instant, an obstacle between Billy and the ringing instrument. 

Billy's eyes darted around nervously, searching for some way to avoid the question but finding none. He struggled with himself and against Zeke for a moment as the ringing phone jangled his nerves. 

Surrendering at last he whispered, "no." 

Zeke snatched the handset off the hook and thrust it at Billy. "Good," he mouthed as Billy took the phone and answered the call. 

"Hello," Billy almost growled into the phone. "Hold on," he said after a pause and shoved the receiver at Zeke. "For you." 

Zeke frowned as he accepted the phone and answered it. "Hello?" A pause and then, "Stokes? Stokely? How did you find me?" 

Billy sat down at his desk and watched Zeke pace a short path around the phone, not even pretending he wasn't listening to the one- sided conversation. 

"Well?" Billy demanded as soon as Zeke hung up. 

"Stokely, a former classmate. Suddenly she's very anxious for Case and I to come back to Ohio. Says she's got something important for Case?" 

"You trust her?" 

Zeke shrugged, "I don't think she'd hurt Casey, but she wasn't exactly his best friend either." 

"Any idea how she knew you were here?" 

Zeke shrugged. "It's a small town; not too hard to find things out if you're determined." 

"So you're going?" 

"Guess so. When's your last class on Friday?" 

"Finished at 11. What about you?" 

"Noon." He walked over to Casey's bulletin board and checked the schedule posted there. "Same for Case." Zeke looked up. "You really want to come along? It's a long trip." 

Billy nodded. "Never been to Ohio. Besides, I can help with the driving." 

"Okay, we'll be packed and ready to go. Meet back here after class and leave as soon as we can. We'll pick up some lunch along the way." 

"Casey will like that." 

Zeke laughed. 

XXXXX 

"Do you think she knows?" Casey asked quietly. His eyes were wide, almost fearful and Zeke wished he could find some way to reassure him. 

"I don't know, Case, but Stokely's our friend. She's not going to give you a hard time about what your parents did." 

"I don't have parents," Casey corrected him quietly. 

"Case..." Zeke really had no idea what to say. 

"Sorry," Casey held up his hand to stop whatever Zeke might say. "That wasn't necessary." He lowered his hand, absently playing with the bandage on his arm. The room was warm and he'd pushed the long sleeves of his shirt up, exposing the dressing. 

"How's your arm?" 

Casey looked down at it as if he'd forgotten about the self-inflicted injury. "Okay," he said at last. "Hurts a little now and then. Not as annoying as the leg, though." 

"Still itches?" 

"Like you wouldn't believe." He made a face and squirmed. "Better change the subject." 

"So you feel like taking a road trip?" Zeke grinned at him already knowing the answer. 

"Yeah, smartass." 

"Excuse me? Was that a term of endearment I just heard?" Zeke placed a hand dramatically on his chest and batted his eyes. 

"Dork." 

"But you love me anyway, right?" 

"Yeah." Casey welcomed Zeke's hug, snuggling against his side. 

"Me too," Zeke assured him, still holding on with one arm while he reached out with the other to snag the textbook he'd been reading. Leaning against each other, they worked on their homework in comfortable silence.


	22. Chapter 22

"Casey these are really good." Billy reached over to pick up one of the photographs from the array on Casey's bed. "I like this one." 

Zeke leaned over an selected a photo. "How about this one?" 

Casey stood between them, looking from one photo to the other, trying to decide. They were both of the cottage at sunset , one straight-on view of the back of the cottage and the other a three-quarter view to show some of the property as well as the cottage. 

"What about..." Casey reached out and selected a slightly darker photo showing the back of the cottage. Reflected in the glass was the patio and the ocean. "It might not print well, depends on what kind of paper they decide to use, but this one is interesting." 

"Kind of busy though, for a publicity brochure." Zeke replied. He leaned over and selected another photo. "You've got a whole roll's worth here. Why don't you pick out a dozen of the best - that will give the dean a lot to choose from." 

"So where are the other photos?" Billy wanted to know. 

"I gave the inventory photos to the dean yesterday." 

"Not those," Billy gave Casey a light thwap. "I want to see the other ones." 

"Oh, those..." Casey made a show of selecting the correct folder and opening it slowly, holding it close to his chest so Billy and Zeke couldn't peek. One by one he placed the photos on the bed, starting with the group shot of the three of them and proceeding to the final image of Zeke and Billy entwined, reaching out, beseeching. 

"Case..." Zeke couldn't take his eyes away from the images fittingly spread out across the bed. In other, less talented hands the images could have been tawdry, instead they were breathtaking. 

Billy was silent and his shoulders were tense, his whole body kept carefully still. His hands tightened into fists reflexively but he couldn't stop looking at the photos. 

Zeke moved close, leaning down to speak softly in Billy's ear. "That's us," he said, placing a hand gently on Billy's arm. With the other hand he reached out and drew Casey close. "You made us beautiful, Case." 

"You already were. I just took the pictures to prove it." 

With unsteady hands Billy reached out and picked up the last picture. The look on Zeke's face... Joey had looked at him like that. He could close his eyes and see it... 

"Come back to us, Billy." Zeke whispered insistently in his ear and Billy obeyed, opening his eyes to see himself, captured on film but not trapped by it. 

"I'm right here," he assured them, turning away from the images to face the reality. He touched them both and smiled softly. 

XXXXX 

"Are we there yet?" 

Zeke mock-growled and frowned into the rear- view mirror at Casey. Casey just grinned. 

"Are you two gonna be like this the whole trip?" Billy asked plaintively. It was beginning to feel like he'd never get out of this car. 

Casey leaned over Billy's seat and gave him a strangle-hug. "Just kidding, Billy." 

"Don't you have homework or something?" Billy asked hopefully. 

"Nope. Finished it." Casey played with Billy's hair, ruffling it until Billy swatted his hand away. 

"That's it," Billy announced, looking over at Zeke. "No more sugar and caffeine for him." 

"Yes, dear," Zeke replied, completely straight-faced until Billy thwapped him. "What did the dean say, Case?" he asked, mostly to change the subject. Casey was jittery and it was starting to get on his nerves. 

"The usual stuff - drive carefully, get back in time for class, et cetera." 

"You finished that book report for Sorens?" 

"Yup." Casey squirmed in his seat and then leaned forward again. "How's your report going? You should have gotten an extension, you didn't have as long to work on it as the rest of us." 

"It's OK, Case. I just have to make time to finish it this weekend." 

"How are you going to do that, Zeke? We'll be traveling most of the time, and you've got to pack up your stuff once we get to your house." 

"Did you finish the book?" Casey wanted to know. 

"Almost. Just another couple of chapters to go." 

"I could read it, if you wanted me to. Out loud, and you could listen while you're driving." 

Zeke smiled at Casey in the mirror. "You'd do that?" 

"Yeah," Casey said smiling back. "Want me to read it now?" 

"Sure. The book's in my backpack there on the floor." 

Zeke gave Billy a secret smile as Casey rummaged around, finding the book and getting comfortable before starting to read. 

Casey's enthusiastic reading made the miles pass quickly. By the time he reached the end of the adventure, the sky was darkening to twilight. 

XXXXX 

"We're here," Zeke announced as he made a hard right into a driveway and turned off the car engine. 

Casey had been extremely quiet as they approached his hometown and Zeke had to look in the mirror to see if the boy was awake. He was, and his eyes were wide as he looked around nervously. 

"There's lights on, Zeke. Are your...?" he couldn't bring himself to finish the question. Zeke had made a point to drive the long way around to avoid Casey's parent's house, but the boy was still anxious. 

"They're just security lights, Case. My parents are in Europe somewhere. Had to track them down to get my transfer approved." He laughed humorlessly. "They couldn't even remember what grade I was in." For just a moment, a flicker of hurt and anger showed in his eyes, but he quickly pushed those feelings aside. 

"Come on," Billy urged, changing the subject. "Let's get out of this car. I need to stretch my legs." 

They walked around outside, working the stiffness out of their bodies after spending 8 hours in the car. They hadn't brought much knowing they'd need the trunk space for Zeke's belongings on the way back, so it didn't take them long to unpack. 

"Not much food in the fridge," Zeke reported after taking a survey. "We'll have to eat out tomorrow." 

He played host, showing Billy around and serving cans of soda with glasses of ice to his friends before asking Casey if he wanted to call Stokely. 

"Now?" Casey's jitters were back and he wandered the room restlessly, unable to sit down, despite his fatigue. He had gotten quite good at navigating on crutches, but now his movements were as unsteady as when he'd first broken his leg. 

Zeke watched him for a moment, considering. Casey had been spending long hours in the darkroom developing the photos in addition to keeping up with his studies. Zeke knew he hadn't been sleeping well. Last night Casey had been especially restless. 

"It'll be OK, Case," Zeke assured him, catching Casey and holding him. "Let's get this over with and then you can try to relax. You can pick a movie if you want." 

Casey nodded slowly, then pulled away. "You call her, okay?" 

"Sure, Case." 

Billy watched the exchange, concerned. He didn't want to intrude, but he wouldn't stand aside and watch as Casey and Zeke struggled either. A small part of him still hadn't fully accepted his part in this relationship and he had to keep reminding himself that he was needed and wanted here. As Zeke walked to the phone and dialed, Billy walked over to Casey and put an arm around his shoulders. 

"Stokely? Yeah, yeah, we just got here. Case too." Zeke listened, considering, then replied, "At 10? OK. We'll be there. Thanks, Stokes. Bye." Zeke hung up the telephone and turned to his friends, his face neutral. 

"She asked us to come to her house at ten tomorrow morning. That OK with you, Case?" 

Casey shrugged. 

"So did you pick a movie?" Billy asked, hoping to ease some of the tension he felt in the smaller boy's body. 

"You pick Billy. Anything's fine with me." Casey slid away from Billy's arm and dropped down onto the sofa. Closing his eyes, he leaned back and sighed. 

"Hard to watch a movie with your eyes closed," Zeke said, sliding onto the sofa next to Casey and drawing him close. Billy had picked a comedy, but Casey didn't laugh, and eventually he turned his face to Zeke's neck. Zeke could feel him struggling against the silent sobs that shook his body. 

Billy took a seat on the sofa and helped Zeke hold onto Casey until the sobs stopped. Turning off the movie long before the end, Billy trailed after Zeke, watching from the doorway as Zeke placed Casey in Zeke's bed and lay down beside him. He watched them for a long time before crossing the room to join them.


	23. Chapter 23

"What are you doing?" Billy demanded, his blood going cold at the sight of Casey leaning over the bathroom sink, his injured arm held under the flowing water. He grabbed the boy and turned him hard, pressing him up against the wall, wrists trapped in Billy's strong grasp. 

"Leave me alone!" Casey shouted, his face red with anger. "I'm not doing anything." He used his body to push Billy back, forcing some distance between them despite Billy's unforgiving hands trapping his wrists. 

Billy looked at the wrists, surprised to find them wet with soap and water not blood. Stunned and embarrassed he let go and took a step back. 

"I'm sorry. I thought..." 

"I know what you thought," Casey retorted, still angry. "I'm not a headcase, okay? You don't have to keep suicide watch on the loser anymore." 

"Yeah?" Billy bitched back, getting angry. "How am I supposed to believe that?" He glared at Casey, wishing he could pound some sense into him; make him see how much his pain was hurting those who loved him. Didn't Casey realize that he, of all people understood? 

He looked away from Casey's angry desperate face and tried to calm himself. Getting angry wasn't the answer. He sighed. "This whole situation is just too messed up." 

"Then leave, Billy. Okay? Just leave." Casey turned away and caught sight of himself in the mirror. He paled and his anger drained away. "Go." 

"And let Zeke here alone to kick your mopey butt? No way, Casey." Billy managed to smile, pushing his anger and fear aside for the moment. "You're stuck with me," he insisted quietly. 

"Why?" Casey asked, his voice pathetically small. 

"Why not?" Billy smiled again and reached out to ruffle Casey's hair - something Casey hated. "You hate that," he said before Casey could complain. 

"Yeah," Casey said, almost managing a smile. 

There was a prolonged awkward silence, then Billy got up the courage to ask what he needed to know. "Seems kind of late now, Casey, but what were you doing?" 

It was Casey's turn to look embarrassed. "I wanted to see how bad the arm looked. I thought I could do without the bandages and maybe Stokely wouldn't notice." 

Billy placed a gentle hand on Casey's arm. "Can I help?" 

Casey offered him a sad smile and Billy returned it, equally sad. Casey shook his head, no. There would always be scars to hide. 

XXXXX 

"We're here," Zeke announced as he parked the car. Billy looked back at Casey who was surprisingly calm considering how jittery he'd been the day before. 

"Ready?" Zeke asked finally when no one moved. He looked at them both curiously, sensing that something had happened between them while he'd been out getting breakfast. So far neither of them were offering any info and he wasn't going to go digging right now. Later, though... 

Stokely opened the door to greet them before they were halfway up the sidewalk. She welcomed them warmly, but didn't try for hugs or handshakes; that just wasn't Stokes. Zeke was glad to see she'd ditched the pastels and gone back to basic black. He was even happier to see she hadn't started using the heavy, dark makeup again. 

"Come on in, get comfortable. We've got the place to ourselves at the moment so we can talk." Stokes led them into the living room and waved at sofas and chairs. 

Zeke followed her in, then Casey and Billy. Zeke did the introductions while Casey dropped back, closer to the door, visibly nervous. 

"Why did you need to see me?" Casey asked as soon as the pleasantries were finished. 

"Have a seat," Stokes insisted. She crossed her arms and waited for him to comply before walking off into the next room. She returned a moment later with a plain white envelope. She held it out to him, back side up so Casey couldn't see the front. When he hesitated, she dropped it in his lap. 

"Read it." 

He picked it up slowly, hands shaking, and turned it over. There was a single word on the front - his name - written in his mother's handwriting. 

He gripped it, ready to tear it in two but Stokely moved surprisingly fast and grabbed his wrists hard, stopping him. 

Casey cried out and tried to pull away. 

Deliberately Stokely ran her fingers over the half-healed cuts and old scars, her eyes locked onto Casey's taking his secrets. 

"Read it," she commanded. 

"Please." 

They all looked up, stunned by the sight of Casey's mother standing in the doorway. She was sallow- skinned with dark smudges under her eyes. It looked like she'd aged twenty years in just over a week. 

Casey rose, pushing past Stokely and backing away from his mother as if she were an apparition. His eyes were huge in his pale face and even his lips had gone white. His crutches caught the corner of the sofa and he lost his balance and went down hard. Lying helpless and winded he stared up at her and froze. 

She put her hand to her mouth and looked like she might cry. 

Zeke rose slowly, never taking his eyes from Stokely even while he knelt beside Casey and helped him up and onto the nearest chair. Zeke remained standing beside the chair, one hand on Casey's shoulder. 

Stokely stood beside Casey's mother, a hand on her elbow, supporting and guiding her until Mrs. Connor was seated across from Casey. 

Billy stood off to one side watching the stand-off. The tension in the room was enough to snap anyone's nerves. 

Stokely let out an exasperated sigh. "Look, Casey, you know me well enough to know that I wouldn't set this up without a reason. So at least listen for a minute. I'm not going to stand here all day while you two pretend you're not in the same room." 

Casey's jaw tightened and he was ready to snap back with a reply when Zeke tightened his grip on Casey's shoulder. Casey looked up at him uncertainly. 

"Give her five minutes, Case. For me." 

Slowly Casey nodded, eyes still locked on Zeke's. Stokely's deliberate throat clearing noises brought his attention back to her and his mother. 

"Five minutes," he conceded, making a show of checking his watch for the time. 

Nervously his mother cleared her throat. No one spoke. Casey checked his watch again. 

"Mrs. Connor, why don't you show Casey what you brought him?" Stokely prompted. 

"Don't bother," Casey interrupted coldly. "Whatever it is, I don't want it." 

"Casey..." Stokely started to argue with him but Mrs. Connor reached out and touched Stokely's arm, stopping the tirade before it began. Carefully Mrs. Connor stood, walking slowly towards Casey, who shrank away from her. 

"Casey..." her face contorted and she stopped abruptly, turning away, shoulders shaking. Everyone in the room felt empathy for her except her son. He just clenched his fists and checked the time. 

He could do this; he could survive for the rest of the five minutes and then he could leave. 

A gasping sob escaped Mrs. Connor's tight control, taking with it the last of her resolve. She half collapsed onto the sofa and wept. 

Casey clenched his fists even tighter, the tension painful. His hand shook as he checked the time again. 

Billy cracked. He crossed the room in a blur, gripping Casey by the arms and hauling him upright. "Don't do this, Casey. You'll regret it. It will haunt you for the rest of your life." He moved one hand down to Casey's sore wrist and pressed fingers against the half- healed injuries making Casey cry out. 

"If you walk away from her like this, you'll never feel anything again. Now, damn it Casey, talk to her." 

He yanked Casey roughly away from Zeke and hauled him across to the sofa where he shoved him down and took up a flat-footed stance, ready to wrestle Casey if he tried to get away. Behind him Stokely watched with concern and a hint of amusement while Zeke clenched his jaw and remained still, watching carefully. 

The anger left Casey almost instantly, as if someone had flipped a switch. He turned to his mother and tears filled his eyes. It hurt so much... 

She raised her head just enough to look at him, waiting to be rejected. 

Casey's heart pounded hard in his chest and he thought he might pass out. He reached out with one shaking hand and touched her shoulder. 

Somehow he was hugging her and she was hugging him and it didn't matter that his leg was throbbing or that she was getting his shirt wet with her tears. All that mattered was that she was warm and solid and she wasn't sending him away.


	24. Chapter 24

Zeke stood in the doorway and watched as Casey's mother held her son, rocking him slightly, murmuring words too soft for Zeke to hear. He felt the sting of tears and quickly brushed them away. 

Billy reached out to him and urged him to turn away, to give Casey and his mother some privacy. 

"It will be okay," Stokely assured Zeke, offering him a soda and a soft smile. 

Zeke folded himself into the nearest kitchen chair and took a drink. Billy sat down beside him and drank thirstily. Their eyes met, mirroring the brightness of emotions barely held in check. 

"How's Stan?" Zeke asked after the silence grew uncomfortable. The sounds of quiet conversation drifted in from the living room and it took all his willpower not to try to eavesdrop. 

"He's okay," Stokely replied, not even trying to hide her smile. Zeke hadn't been gone long, but he'd been withdrawn for weeks and it had been quite a while since he'd shown any real interest in her or Stan, or anyone else for that matter. 

"Looks like more than okay," Zeke teased liking it when she smiled. 

"Yeah?' Stokes challenged, then grinned. "He might even make some C's this semester." 

Zeke was impressed. "You're a good influence on him, Stokes." 

"Well don't spread it around. You'll ruin my rep, Zeke." 

Zeke just grinned and raised his eyebrows. Billy looked a bit confused by the exchange so Zeke explained. "Stan is an ex-jock. Stokes is a semi-reformed goth. They make an interesting pair." 

"Yes we do, Zeke. But not as interesting as you and Miss Burke." 

Zeke made a face and held up his hand to stop any further comments. "Miss Burke and I are history." 

"Lucky for you. That is one very messed up individual. You should see her Zeke - she's dyed her hair blonde and started wearing these short, tight dresses. Very disturbing." 

Zeke cleared his throat nervously and looked away, not saying anything. He was far too raw right now to discuss anything to do with Miss Burke. 

"How did you get involved in this..." Billy gestured towards the living room where Casey and his mother were sitting side by side, heads tilted towards each other, still talking quietly. 

"Casey's mother called me last week. She was pretty upset. She didn't tell me much, just that Casey and his father had a fight and something drastic happened. She said that she wasn't supposed to see Casey anymore, but that she really needed to talk to him." 

Stokely leaned forward and lowered her voice looking at Zeke and then Billy before asking, "Is it true that they relinquished custody?" 

Zeke nodded slowly, pain in his eyes and in the set of his shoulders. It made Billy wonder what the older boy was really feeling about all of this given Zeke's relationship with his disinterested parents. 

"So what happens now?" Stokely asked, reaching out to Zeke and touching his hand. "How can we help?" 

"I don't know," was Zeke's painfully honest reply. 

They sat together in silence, drinking their sodas and trying not to think too much about anything until sounds of movement from the other room drew their attention. 

"Hey," Casey said quietly. His eyes were red from crying but he seemed calmer, and some of the tension in his body had eased; he no longer looked brittle. 

Casey's mother stood beside him, one hand resting lightly on Casey's shoulder while he balanced with his crutches. She was a little less tense but she still looked exhausted. 

"Do you mind if I show Casey what I brought?" she asked quietly. Her voice was hoarse from crying and it wavered a little as she spoke. 

Stokely stood up quickly, offering her chair. "Why don't you have something to drink first, Mrs. Connor? Some iced tea with lemon?" 

Casey's mother nodded and took the seat that was offered. Casey took the seat next to Zeke, across from his mother and accepted a drink of Zeke's soda with a grateful smile. 

Zeke's hands ached to touch Casey, to pull him into a tight embrace and hold onto him forever. Instead he folded his hands together and placed them in his lap. 

The conversation was awkward and forced and lapsed into silence frequently. Finally Casey's mother found the courage to say what she needed to say. 

"I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate everything you've been doing for Casey." She looked at each of them in turn before reaching out to Casey. "I won't try to explain, it wouldn't make sense anyway..." she trailed off but didn't break eye contact with Casey. 

"It may not seem like it Casey, but I love you very much." She swallowed hard and hunched her shoulders, but didn't take her hand away. 

"I know," Casey replied softly, not offering absolution, but giving as much forgiveness as he was able to. 

Zeke could not longer hold back. He reached out and put an arm around Casey's shoulders, offering support. 

Billy and Stokely exchanged relieved smiles. Not that either one of them would ever admit it, but they were both suckers for a happy ending. 

XXXXX 

Casey leaned into his mother's embrace and closed his eyes. It had been years since she'd really hugged him, wrapping him up in both her arms and squeezing tight enough that he could feel her heartbeat. But that was how she hugged him now, and a little more of the pain of all that rejection eased. 

He pulled away reluctantly and reached up to tenderly brush away her tears. He didn't ask if she would call or write; he didn't want any promises that could be broken. He just wanted this moment with nothing to spoil it, something he could hold onto forever. 

He didn't say goodbye, just leaned in and kissed her softly on the cheek before turning away, letting Billy and Zeke guide him to the car. 

He held the box she'd given him on his lap but didn't open it. As they drove away he pressed one hand against the window and kept it there until his tears washed the vision of his mother away.


	25. Chapter 25

Billy stood in the doorway uncertainly, studying Casey's back, hoping for some indication of how he was doing. Casey had been huddled over the contents of the box his mother had given him for quite a while now and Billy couldn't tell if he was upset or not. 

Zeke walked past, expression set, keeping himself busy with packing while his mind worked through the events of the morning. He'd been strangely quiet since they returned from Stokely's house and Billy was starting to wonder if there was more on his mind than Casey's reunion with his mother. 

Sliding out of the doorway he followed Zeke into the bedroom. 

"Need some help?" Billy asked cheerfully, hoping to lighten the mood. Zeke gave him a measured look then returned to packing. 

"No thanks. Got it covered." 

"Oh. Okay." Billy stood there at a loss, watching Zeke work. Finally Zeke looked up again, a hint of annoyance in his voice. 

"Do you want something?" 

"Yeah," Billy said quietly, taking a step closer to Zeke. "I want to help." He put a hand on Zeke's arm but Zeke brushed him off. 

"Don't need help." Zeke insisted. 

"Look," Billy persisted. "What's this really about?" 

"Nothing," Zeke snapped. "Everything's perfect. Casey's got his mom back and everything is just perfect." Zeke jammed the last of his clothes into the suitcase and slammed it shut. 

He closed the drawer hard enough to shake everything on top of the dresser. The only photo in the room fell over. Zeke didn't pick it up. 

Realization struck Billy hard and he stood, stunned. 

Zeke crowded past to get to the closet. 

"Why are you packing everything, Zeke?" He asked it quietly but his gaze was demanding. 

"What?" Zeke stopped, mid-fold, the shirt half in the travel bag. 

"You're packing a lot more than you need for two months." 

"So?" It was a challenge and Zeke's whole body screamed anger even though he tried to be casual. 

"Why don't you plan on coming back here? This is your home." 

"Home," Zeke spat the word back at Billy. "You have no idea what you're talking about." 

"Then enlighten me," Billy responded calmly, not backing down. 

"You wouldn't get it." He shoved another armload of clothes into the bag, not bothering to be neat. 

"Why? Because my parents didn't abandon me? Is that what this is about? You think that Casey is going to leave you now that he's settled things with his mom?" 

"Case can do what ever he wants." 

"Cut the crap. I can't help it that your parents ignore you anymore than I can control how mine treat me. That's got nothing to do with Casey and me. Don't blame us for their mistakes." 

"Don't play shrink, Billy. You have no idea what you're talking about." Zeke's voice was low and dangerous now and he couldn't hide his anger. 

"Then don't you play the martyr. You're just as fucked up as the rest of, Zeke. Might as well just admit it." 

"You think you've got it all figured out, don't you Billy? You can go home to your Mommy and Daddy and they will pet you and take care of you and keep covering your mistakes until you finally get your head on straight, isn't that right? Not all of us are so lucky." 

"Is that what you really think? That it's all hearts and flowers on the old home front? Your parents might not be around a lot, but at least they don't spend all their time screaming at each other, buying you stuff to bribe you into liking one better than the other. Telling you things about the other parent that makes you want to puke. Missed out on all the family melodrama, didn't you, Zeke?" 

They were inches apart now, aching to hurt each other just to make the other understand someone else's pain. It would be so easy to just reach out and... 

"What are you doing?" Casey demanded. He balanced on his crutches in the doorway, his face gone pale. "I heard you..."

"Stay out of this, Casey." Billy snarled. "Zeke here is telling me how his mommy and daddy neglected..." 

It seemed to happen in slow motion - the fist connecting, falling backward, Casey's voice sounding oddly distant and then the pain - of the fall, of the punch and lastly, of the words that couldn't be taken back... 

Zeke loomed over him, face flushed crimson, every inch of him taut with rage. 

"Don't you ever mention my parents again, Tepper. Don't talk about them, don't even think about them. Do you understand?" 

Billy nodded slowly, one hand pressed against his mouth. He couldn't get up with Zeke looming over him so he just stayed there, glaring up at the older boy, caught for just a moment between wanting to be sorry and wanting to get in his own punch. 

"Zeke?" 

"Go back to what you were doing, Case. This is between me and Billy." 

"I'm not leaving, Zeke." 

"Casey," Zeke turned his full attention on the smaller boy, but Casey didn't flinch or back away. 

"I said I'm not leaving," he insisted quietly. "Not now, not ever." 

"You don't know what you're saying." 

"Don't I? Look me in the eyes and say that. Tell me I don't know how it feels to be ignored, even hated by my own parents. Yours ignore you Zeke, but at least they are still your parents. No matter what happened today, nothing changes the fact that my father and my mother signed those documents." Casey looked away, choking out the words. "At least you still have a name." 

"A name," Zeke scoffed. "Yeah, the name of a man who can't even remember what grade I'm in. A mother who couldn't wait to pay someone, anyone to take the brat off her hands. I saw more of the UPS man than I saw my own father." Some of the rage had drained away and Zeke backed away from Billy. Not offering to help him up, but not threatening him either. 

Billy stood up slowly looking from Casey to Zeke, wishing he knew what to do that wouldn't make things worse. The desire to fight was gone and in its place was weariness. "This isn't fair," he said at last. 

"What's not fair?" Casey asked. 

"Any of this, Casey. Look, screaming at each other doesn't get us better parents. Why can't we just..." he trailed off and shrugged helplessly. "I don't know... maybe we could be our own family. No parents, no baggage, just us." 

"That easy?" Zeke scoffed. Much of the anger and bitterness he'd kept bottled up for years was finally unleashed and he couldn't stop it up again without a struggle. 

"No, not easy at all," Billy said calmly, "But worth the effort anyway." He looked at Casey for support. "Casey?" 

"Yeah," he moved forward until he was right in front of Zeke, dropping his crutches to gather his lover in a tight embrace. After a moment he reached one hand back towards Billy, drawing him into the circle. "Just us." 

"Just us," Billy repeated. 

After a long moment, Zeke repeated it too. "Just us." Then he laughed unsteadily. "We sound like the Three Musketeers or something." 

"Yeah?" Casey responded, not quite keeping the smile out of his voice. "As long as it's not the Three Stooges." 

"What's wrong with the Three Stooges?" Billy demanded, getting groans and pained expressions as response. "What?" 

Casey shook his head and shifted, placing a tender kiss on Billy's jaw, working his way up to Billy's mouth, soothing away some of the pain with gentleness. Billy tensed, expecting Zeke to pull them apart, then relaxed when he felt Zeke's hand rubbing his back lightly. He leaned a little against Zeke and accepted the comfort that was offered. 

"Hey," Casey said quietly when he finally pulled away. "Everything okay here?" He waited while the other two boys shared and accepted apologies. They did their best to let the anger go, not ready to kiss and make up, but no longer ready to pummel each other. Casey smiled. "Good, I've got something important for us to talk about." 

He headed off to the dining room and the others followed, exchanging curious glances. Casey's box was on the dining room table and Casey opened it, taking out a dark blue photo album. He braced himself against the table and opened the folder carefully. 

"It's mine," he said cryptically as Zeke and Billy moved closer to look over his shoulder at the photograph of an old farm house. He looked up, smiling at their obvious confusion and turned the page. 

"Case?" Zeke reached over and touched the page. "Is that what it looks like?" 

"Yes." 

"A deed?" Billy asked, frowning. "You mean?" 

"It was my grandmother's. Mom gave it to me." He was smiling widely, as if he'd won the lottery and still didn't really grasp the scope of his good fortune. "We have a house." 

"Where is it?" Billy asked doubtfully. 

"About 30 miles from Regis." 

"In Virginia?" Billy said, too stunned to grasp the significance of Casey's news. 

"Unless they moved Regis since we left yesterday," Casey teased. He turned to Zeke and took his hand. "Just us, Zeke. You, Billy and me. It will be good." 

Zeke leaned down, claiming that hopeful smile, tasting it until he could feel it in his skin. Billy moved in beside him and wrapped his arms around Zeke and Casey, connecting the three of them. 

Yeah, Zeke decided, it will be good. 

 

::end chapter 25::


	26. Chapter 26

"So what's it like?" Billy whispered, smiling up at Casey. The smaller boy was lying beside him, propped up on one elbow, idly playing with Billy's hair. They were both sweaty and relaxed, but not quite ready to sleep. Zeke was curled up on his side, back pressed close to Casey and snoring softly. 

"The house?" Casey whispered back. "I don't know," he admitted when Billy nodded. "I was never there. My... father and my mother's family never got along. When my grandmother died last year, he refused to go to the funeral." 

"So why'd your mom give it to you? No offense, Casey, but it seems kind of strange after everything that happened." 

"I know," Casey sighed. "She said that dad wanted her to sell it but that she wanted to keep it, maybe fix it up and rent it or something. Gram left it to her - mom's an only child - so dad's name was never on any of the paperwork." 

Billy reached up and smoothed Casey's hair, then traced a line down the side of his face to Casey's jaw. He smiled when Casey relaxed into the touch, some of the tension that was building in his body easing again. 

"I'm okay, Billy," Casey said, sounding more like he was trying to convince himself than his friend. "She said she signed the papers for me, because she thought I'd be better off with a clean start." 

"She does love you, Casey." 

"I know," with another sigh Casey settled down, his head on Billy's shoulder. Immediately the older boy wrapped an arm around Casey and drew him close. Beside them, Zeke mumbled something in his sleep and shifted. 

"Maybe we should try and get some sleep," Billy suggested. "Tomorrow's going to be a long day." 

"Yeah," Casey said quietly and Billy kissed him lightly before shifting, turning him so Casey was closer to Zeke. 

XXXXX 

"Coffee?" Casey offered as Zeke stumbled into the kitchen, still bleary from sleep. 

Zeke mumbled something and accepted the mug, just holding it and breathing in the steam. After a long minute he took a sip and made a face. 

"Hope it's not too strong," Casey said, trying not to smile. He took a drink of his soda to hide his amusement. 

"What are you doing?" Zeke asked when his brain was awake enough to remember words. There were books and papers scattered all over the table in front of Casey. 

"Homework." 

"I thought you said you were done?" 

"I am. This is yours." 

"Case..." 

"Zeke, look, you've got lots of chances to impress everybody with your brain but this weekend you need some help. There's just no way you can pack and drive all the way back to school and get your homework done for tomorrow morning." Casey crossed his arms and looked like he was preparing for a long battle. Zeke just didn't have the energy. 

"Okay, just this once." He leaned close and smiled. "And thank you, I accept, but only on one condition." 

Casey frowned. "What?" 

"You learn how to make coffee. This stuff tastes like sludge." Zeke smiled and took another sip. 

"But it's hot," Casey countered, returning the smile. 

"I notice you're not drinking it." 

"You kidding? I can't drink that, it tastes like sludge." 

Billy woke to the sound of shared laughter. 

XXXXX 

"That everything?" Billy asked as Zeke closed the trunk of his car. 

"It's enough to get me through the next couple of months," Zeke assured him. 

"So you decided not to leave here for good?" Billy asked carefully. 

"Yeah, I guess so. Not quite ready to give up on the place yet. Besides, we'll have to make at least one more trip to get Casey's stuff." 

The envelope Casey's mother had given him yesterday contained a key to a storage unit. She had packed up all of Casey's belongings and gotten them out of the house when Casey's father had wanted to throw them away. 

Casey insisted that he didn't need anything just yet, but Zeke and Billy thought it was really that Casey didn't want to see everything he owned stuffed into a storage shed. It was hard enough trying to comprehend that he could never return to the place he once called home. 

Between them, they'd decided that they would go visit Casey's house next weekend to see what it was like, and then in a few weeks they would get Casey's belongings from storage and move them to the house. 

Casey had warned them that, according to his mother, the house needed work. It was clear from the picture that the place was old, but there was nothing obviously wrong; no sagging porch, no holes in the roof. 

Casey already had the key and a copy of the deed, but the house wouldn't officially belong to him until he was 18. His mother's lawyer had taken the necessary legal steps to protect the property until Casey was old enough to sign the paperwork and Casey's mother had sold some of her own mother's jewelry to create a fund that would cover property taxes on the house for several years. 

"You ready?" Zeke called to Casey. 

"Just about," Casey yelled back, setting the photo album back in its box and closing it. He tucked it under one arm, bracing it with the crutch and headed to the car.


	27. Chapter 27

Zeke was smoking, the driver side window rolled down enough to let the smoke out and the highway noise in. 

Billy leaned over and turned up the volume on the radio, tapping out the rhythm on his knee. He turned to look into the back seat where Casey was stretched out, his leg propped up and his head leaning forward onto Zeke's pillow, which he hugged tightly, even in his sleep. 

The trip back to school was proving long and tiring, the events of the weekend catching up with them. They'd even agreed to skip a nice dinner somewhere in exchange for a quick stop for fast food and eating in the car so they could get back sooner. 

It was past twilight by the time Zeke turned the car into the parking lot. There had been little conversation on the trip and the silence continued as they unpacked and hauled their luggage up to the room. 

Snuffy and Hank came to help, but even they couldn't keep a conversation going and as soon as the car was unloaded and the boxes and bags deposited in the room, they said their good-nights and left. 

Trying to navigate around Zeke's belongings, Billy stubbed his toe and swore. "It was a lot nicer in here when there wasn't so much furniture," he snapped. 

Zeke just gave him a look, picked up his cigarettes and walked out. 

Across the room, Casey sighed, exasperated and exhausted despite the rest he'd gotten in the car. He was too tired to deal with this tonight; too raw emotionally and too drained physically. He lay down on his single bed and turned his face towards the wall. 

They slept alone that night, and none of them had a restful slumber. 

XXXXX 

Being busy made it easy. They could pretend that there wasn't a rift between them; that the subtle discontent was the pressure of schoolwork and concerns about what lie beyond graduation. They could ignore the fact that Casey used the darkroom as an excuse to avoid them, that Billy suddenly returned to his running with a vengeance, that Zeke took enough walks to smoke three packs of cigarettes a day. 

The excuses were so easy. 

It was Thursday and still Zeke's belongings were scattered around the room, unpacked only enough to allow him access to what he'd needed that week. 

There had been no room to move the beds together and although no one would admit it, none of them were getting much rest. Tempers were short and conversations between them, when they had to be in the room together, were overly polite. Even their other friends had started to avoid them, tired of the cold war playing out in that dorm room. 

When Zeke stumbled into the room just before curfew, reeking of smoke and alcohol, Billy snapped. 

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" he hissed. "You want to get kicked out of here?" 

"What do you care?" Zeke sniped back, slurring the words so badly that they lost their sting. "Since when are you Mr. Follow- the-rules?" 

"Since I grew a brain. Look, I've pulled a lot of stuff here, but I'm not stupid enough to waltz around drunk just begging to get caught." 

"Who says I'm drunk?" Zeke demanded, moving closer to Billy and stumbling against the dresser. Billy caught him, keeping him upright, glaring at him and trying not to gag from the overwhelming odor. 

A quick glance at the clock. Less than 10 minutes to lights out. 

"Casey, get up! You gotta help me." Billy snatched up a pair of boxers and t-shirt at random from Zeke's open suitcase. "Get his toothbrush and come on." 

Billy manhandled Zeke, ignoring his protests and shoved him out of the room, down the hall to the bathroom. Casey followed behind with towels and Zeke's toiletries bag. 

Not taking the time to undress him, Billy started the shower and shoved Zeke under the cold water. Zeke had been sluggish but now he was mad. He reached out and grabbed Billy, shoving him against the wall, hands closing hard over his shoulders. They snarled at each other, ignoring the cold water than raised goosebumps on their skin and plastered their clothes to their bodies. 

Furious, Casey jabbed at them with his crutch. "Stop it you morons. We don't have time for this." 

"Back off, Case." Zeke didn't sound at all drunk now, and the look in his eyes was lethal as he pressed in on Billy. 

"No!" Casey cried, trying to force some distance between Billy and Zeke with his crutch. "Don't do this. Please, guys, come on." 

Zeke turned on Casey, one hand catching and holding the crutch while the other hand still pinned Billy. There was a moment of complete stillness - Casey balanced precariously, completely at Zeke's mercy; Billy breathing hard, trying to bring himself back from anger to reason; Zeke holding power over both of them. 

"Zeke?" 

Casey's voice, soft but not tentative, broke the spell. With a growl, Zeke shoved the crutch back at Casey and let go. It wasn't quite enough to make the boy fall, but it was close. Casey backed up hard against the wall. 

Turning to Billy, Zeke pushed him away. "Get out. Both of you." 

"Zeke..." 

"Now, Case. Just go." 

Billy took one of the towels Casey had brought and stripped down quickly, bundling up his dripping clothing, he wrapped the towel around his waist and left the room. 

Casey looked at Zeke once more then followed Billy out, turning his back on the sight of his lover bent under the spray, water streaming over his head and down his face. 

XXXXX 

They got ready for bed in silence - another long night apart. They were both lying down when Zeke returned. He hadn't lingered long in the shower, but it was already past curfew so he spread his wet clothing out to dry and turned off the light.

Instead of climbing into bed, he took a seat at his desk, knees up and body curled in on itself. He really hadn't had enough to drink to be truly drunk, he just wanted to make himself feel better. The cold water and the fight had cleared away the last illusion of being intoxicated. Now he was miserable. He felt strange and disconnected, not really numb, but somehow separate from his thoughts and emotions. If he could scream or cry he might feel better. But he couldn't. So he sat, huddled in the chair and stared out at the starless sky. 

Zeke heard the movement, the pause before rising and the uncertain steps. He felt the tentative touch and the warmth of the body standing close. "Billy..." Zeke closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. It was gentle and forgiving and it made him ache. He opened his mouth to apologize but a finger was pressed lightly against his lips, stopping the words. 

"Go to Casey." 

"He doesn't want me tonight." 

"He does. And you need him." 

"What about you?" 

"I'll be here. And if you ever get your stuff out of the way we can both hold you and we'll all be more comfortable." A pause. "Right?" A soft kiss, full of understanding. 

"Sleep well, Billy." 

"You too, Zeke." 

Casey's eyes were watching, drawing Zeke into the arms that were open and waiting for him.


	28. Chapter 28

"Are you trying to kill me, Case?" 

Casey laughed sliding up to look Zeke in the eyes. "So you don't want me to do that again?" 

"Not for at least 10 minutes," Zeke said, pulling Casey close and returning the smile. "Maybe 15," he conceded with a yawn. 

"We missed first period," Casey observed calmly. "At this rate we'll miss second too." 

"That a problem?" 

"No," Casey rested his head on Zeke's shoulder and sighed contentedly. 

They were still like that when Billy returned after second period, out of breath from hurrying. 

"You owe me, big time, slackers." He dumped his books on the desk and walked over intending to drag them out of bed. "I told your teachers you were sick with upset stomachs, probably from something you ate last night. So you'd better be careful if you go to the cafeteria for lunch. Oh, and I got your homework for you." 

Before he could snatch the bedding away, Zeke and Casey exchanged a look and reached out, pulling Billy down on top of them. 

"Hey, whoa, let me up. I'll be late for class." 

"Yeah?" Zeke said, making it a challenge. 

"Yeah. Now let me go. And don't forget the dean's picking us up at 12:15." Billy gave Zeke a loud smooch and ruffled Casey's hair before he wiggled off the bed, taking the covers with him. 

"Better take a shower," he suggested, not even blinking at their lack of apparel. "I'll be back in an hour and I expect you clowns to be up by then." He tossed the blankets back at them, scooped up his textbook and left. 

XXXXX 

"Zeke, Casey," Dean Parker nodded his greetings at the two boys as they hurried to join Billy beside the dean's car. "I understand you boys were ill this morning." He regarded them calmly before getting into the car, adding, "I trust you are feeling better now." 

"Yes, sir," Casey replied quietly. In truth he didn't feel well at all. He knew it was nerves, and a glance at his friends told him they were feeling much the same way. He wished that he could just skip the next hour entirely. 

"Dr. Carson works exclusively with young adults. I believe you'll like her. She's very easy to talk to." The dean looked at Billy, noticing how his leg bounced in time to some unheard rhythm. A glance in the rear view mirror showed Casey, eyes wide and paler than usual huddled against the door, while Zeke sprawled out, appearing relaxed except for the tension in his mouth. 

"Today is just a get acquainted meeting. Dr Carson will probably ask you to tell a little bit about yourself and then she'll arrange a regular schedule of appointments. We're going to try this for a month. If you have any concerns you are welcome to discuss them with me. At the end of the month we will meet in my office to discuss whether to continue with Dr. Carson or find someone else." 

The dean pulled into a small parking lot and parked. Turning off the engine he turned to them, looking at each boy in turn. "I expect each of you to cooperate fully. Is that clear?" 

They nodded with varying levels of enthusiasm, or lack thereof, and got out of the car. 

"I'll be back in an hour," the dean reminded them. He waited until they were in the building before starting the car and driving away. 

XXXXX 

_This is worse than one of Sorens' lectures,_ Casey decided, shifting in the uncomfortable chair again and trying not to sigh. 

It was Billy's turn on the hot seat and he was rattling off answers, most of which Casey suspected were embellished if not outright lies. 

Zeke had pretty much done the same thing, and Casey wondered if he'd be able to pull it off so smoothly when it was his turn. He'd never been very good at prevaricating - his eyes always gave him away. 

Dr. Carson was younger than he expected her to be, with long brown hair pulled back in a messy braid and glasses that kept sliding down her nose. She was wearing jeans and a plain t-shirt and had a jar of candy corn on her desk even though it was March. Casey took some when she offered and it was kind of chewy but still tasted OK. 

"So what brings you here, Casey?" she asked, turning her full attention on him at last. Casey could see Billy leaning back and letting out a sigh of relief behind her. 

"Dean Parker," he replied simply, ignoring Zeke's soft sound of amusement. 

"That would be who, not what, but we'll move on to more interesting questions." 

Part of Casey's brain handled what felt like hours of answering questions - about himself, his likes and interests, his photography - while the rest of him studied the doctor, the room and his friends. 

Friends... what an inadequate description for two people who had become so important to him. Lovers? Yes, but that wasn't really enough either. They were so much more than that. 

"Is that all right with you, Casey?" 

Startled, Casey straightened in his chair and tried not to blush at being caught not paying attention. 

"You won't mind being first, will you Casey? Show these guys how easy it is?" 

"Ah... okay?" Casey said tentatively, not quite sure what he was agreeing to. 

"Good," the doctor replied smiling and giving Casey a look that let him know she was aware of his inattention but wasn't going to give him a hard time about it. "So we'll do 30 minute sessions on Tuesdays - Casey, Billy and Zeke, in that order. Thursdays will be 1 hour sessions with the three of you together." 

The doctor leaned back against her desk. "I'm not going to make promises or give you pep talks. You know why you are here and we're not going to pretend you don't need to be here. But if we cooperate with each other, you won't need to do this forever. Clear?" They all nodded obediently. "Good. Now go relax, blow off some steam - within legal limits of course - and I'll see you back here Tuesday." 

She escorted them to the door and watched as they walked out before returning to her desk to make notes. There was a slight smile on her face; the situation wasn't as bad as she'd expected. 

Closing the case files she took up a pad of post-its and scribbled a reminder to get more candy before Tuesday. 

XXXXX 

"How was your appointment?" Dean Parker asked when the boys were seat-belted in and settled. 

"Okay," Billy said neutrally. Casey nodded his agreement. Zeke turned his head and looked out the window. 

"Casey, the health insurance arrangements have been taken care of and I was able to get you an appointment on Monday for your leg. It should be about time for a walking cast." 

"Thank you, sir." 

"I imagine you'll be glad to get rid of the crutches." 

"Yes, sir," Casey said emphatically, making Billy laugh. Zeke reached other and placed a hand on Casey's leg. 

A Beatles song was on the radio and Billy got permission to turn it up. They listened to music the rest of the way back to school.


	29. Chapter 29

"Am I really seeing this?" Billy widened his eyes and pretended to be shocked at the sight of Zeke unpacking. 

Casey was leaning against the closet door frame, hanging up Zeke's shirts. He looked over at Billy and grinned. "Get the latest from Snuffy?" 

Billy groaned and flopped down onto his stomach on the nearest bed. "Do me a favor, Casey. The next time Snuffy starts talking about birds, do not let him anywhere near me. I think I'm traumatized for life. I'll never go near another birdbath." 

"Hey, I saved you from the radioactive dinner plates theory on Monday." 

Billy buried his head in the pillow and groaned again. 

"Everything's hung up, Zeke. Want me to start on that box?" Casey'd gotten really good at navigating around the room without his crutches. He hopped over to the box and started digging through it, fishing out the items that had obviously been packed in a hurry. 

"Here's the other sock, oh and that tie you didn't want to bring. I used it as wrapping for this." Casey carefully unwound the plain blue tie, revealing a small picture frame. He placed the framed photo carefully on Zeke's desk. "I saw that on your dresser and thought it might be important. I didn't want it to get forgotten." 

Zeke picked it up and stared at it intently, almost as if he'd forgotten who the young woman was. 

"Who is she?" Billy asked, remembering this as the only photograph in Zeke's room. She was obviously someone important. "Is she your mother?" 

"No," Zeke almost laughed at that. "My mother would never wear shorts and a t-shirt or let anyone photograph her unless it was professional at a photo shoot." Zeke touched the glass softly, his fingertips barely making contact. 

"Her name is Sarah. She was my last nanny." Zeke looked up at Casey and there was a hint of anguish in those eyes. He looked down at the picture, his body tensing. Without looking up he said, "I used to be like you, Case. Small, skinny, got picked on a lot." 

Casey reached out and laid a hand on Zeke's arm, he finally looked up, their gazes locking as they shared old pain. 

"In second grade, there was this stupid parents day thing..." He shrugged and tried to make light of it but his voice betrayed him. "All I wanted was for one of my parents to go with me... just once. Sarah tried her best to make them understand, but they didn't come." 

Billy got off the bed, reaching out, his hand on Zeke's other arm, completing the circle of support and encouragement. 

"Sarah... she offered to go but I... It wouldn't have been the same. I wasn't very nice to her." Zeke's hands tightened on the frame. 

"At school... the teacher said I couldn't participate... I'd have to spend the day inside with the other kids without parents." 

Tears glittered in Zeke's eyes but he kept talking, the weight of the memory pressing down hard. 

"I snuck out. Hid out for a while. When I got home, Sarah was packing. My parents had fired her because she'd told them off for not coming to school with me that day." He shuddered at the memory. "This big security guard came and dragged her away... treated her like a criminal." 

Zeke leaned into Casey, pressing his head against the smaller boy's shoulder. "I ran after her... crying and everything... but I fell and when I got up she was gone. Nobody came for two days..." 

Billy moved around Zeke, rubbing his back as the older boy struggled to tell the rest of the story. "It was housekeepers after that... Some nice, most just didn't want me around." 

He was struggling so hard against the painful memories that Billy and Casey could feel it. They enclosed him in their warmth. 

"Learned to do things for myself. Got pretty good at defending myself." Zeke managed a feeble grin. "Don't take any shit. Don't depend on anyone. Take advantage of people's weaknesses. Rules to live by." 

Zeke touched Casey's face carefully, as if he were porcelain. "Had it all figured out til you came along." 

"No you didn't, Zeke. You just knew how to pretend." Casey kissed Zeke tenderly. "You can't pretend forever." 

"I wanted this... what we have now... So much..." 

"You were scared," Billy whispered. Zeke nodded. 

"I had to push you away, Case. You were dangerous, you could get past the act. Couldn't let that happen. So I picked Miss Burke - knew you'd hate that, and I joined the football team 'cause you'd hate that too. But I couldn't stand the team so I quit and Miss Burke... " 

"What did she do to you Zeke?" Casey asked, concerned. He'd never seen such raw fear in Zeke's eyes. Not even when fighting the alien. 

Zeke reached up with a shaking hand and touched Casey's face. "She wanted... she was so jealous and ... She wanted to hurt you. Told your parents about the bus station. Even... she came to Regis and took all the magazines and stuff with you in'em. She didn't want you to exist anymore." Zeke choked off a sob, but forced himself to continue. "She said I had to stay with her or she'd hurt you, Case. She followed me everywhere... called me at all hours... sat outside my house watching... One day she just... All I wanted was for her to leave me alone. But when she did..." Zeke broke off, unable to continue. 

Casey wrapped Zeke up tight in his embrace and Billy held them both, supporting them as Zeke broke down completely, sobbing. 

XXXXX 

"Can't sleep?" Casey whispered softly, his arms wrapping around the older boy, holding him as they both looked out the window into the pre-dawn gloom. 

Billy shook his head, then asked: "You either?" 

"No, too wound up, I guess. Zeke's still out, though. He's exhausted. I didn't realize how hard all this has been on him." 

"He's been holding us together, Casey. Now it's our turn to help him." Billy turned, taking up the last of the boxes he'd been emptying into Zeke's dresser. "Here, help me unpack this and then we can slide one of the beds over and all get back to sleep." 

"You know he'll redo everything, don't you?" 

"Doesn't matter. I just want these boxes out of the way. There, that's it." Billy shoved the box down sideways into the one below it and pushed the whole stack off in a corner. 

"Got that end?" he asked as he and Casey moved the bed as quietly as they could. 

"Much better," Casey decided, climbing in and settling down against the curve of Zeke's body. Billy slid in on the other side, shivering a little at the chill of the blankets and inched closer to Zeke. 

Zeke shifted in his sleep and threw an arm over Billy, drawing him closer. It was a short but restful slumber for all of them. 

XXXXX 

"We could stop and ask someone," Casey suggested. Billy responded with silence. Zeke made a face at Casey in the rear view mirror and kept driving. "Oh, come on, don't give me that 'guys never ask directions' nonsense. Here, pull into that convenience store and I'll go ask." 

Zeke pressed down on the accelerator and grinned. "Can't let you do it, Case. You'd ruin your rep forever." 

Billy snickered, then pointed and said, "there. Route 319. Follow that sign." He turned and looked over his shoulder at Casey. "See? Knew we could find it." 

"We're not there yet," Casey grumped, leaning back against the car seat and crossing his arms. 

Zeke looked in the mirror again and smiled at Casey, who tried not to smile back, but failed, a little, half-smile curving his lips. 

It was almost noon and they were on a mission to find his house. Some of the pain of Zeke's breakdown the previous night had been soothed by a lazy, pleasurable morning. Casey knew it was far from being all better but Zeke seemed a little more relaxed, some of the tension gone, so it could wait, at least for a while. 

Casey was glad that Billy was riding shotgun and helping Zeke with directions. He was busy trying to conceal the flutters of nervousness that filled his stomach. As they got closer to the house, the flutters increased and he had a funny ice cold feeling in his throat. 

When his mother had told him about the house, he'd been thrilled - it meant security and possibly a place where he could be together with Zeke and Billy. But now... he wondered what kind of family ghosts lingered there. 

He had no memory of his grandfather and only vaguely remembered his grandmother. He had been 7 or 8 the last time he'd seen her, and his father had gotten angry and driven off, leaving Casey and his mother with no way of getting home. Casey remembered sitting on his grandmother's lap as she rocked him and sang a song to soothe his frightened tears. She sang in Welsh and although he never heard the song nor saw his grandmother again, if he closed his eyes and concentrated he could remember that moment so clearly... 

"Case?" Zeke's voice was soft with concern and Casey could feel his gaze through the mirror even without looking. 

"Visiting ghosts," Casey said softly, opening his eyes and managing a smile. 

"No more ghosts, Case. They've had their turn." 

Casey and Billy both nodded their agreement. Billy turned up the radio and they let the music divert them as they made the final turn and started up the unpaved road. 

Trees lined the way and a haze of dust followed them. It felt closed in but comfortable, not claustrophobic, with the trees all around them and the sunlight slipping through in pools of light against the dark green foliage. The road curved randomly and each gentle turn yielded surprises - a open patch of green, an ancient tree, a deer grazing. The final turn and there, on a slight rise, sat the house. 

Zeke pulled the car into the flat graveled area and stopped but none of them hurried to get out. They stared up at the structure, not quite knowing what to think. 

Zeke turned to look at Casey, reaching out to him over the seat. "Ready?" 

Casey nodded, his hand patting the familiar shape of the heavy metal door key in his jeans pocket. He took a deep breath and opened the car door. 

Zeke and Billy stood on either side of him as they all looked up at the house. It was huge, with a peaked roof and a large porch that ran the across the front and wrapped around both sides. There were long narrow windows framed by dark shutters, contrasting nicely against the eggshell white of the house. 

Zeke turned to Casey, smiling softly. "Home," he said placing a hand on Casey's shoulder. "Your home, Case." 

Casey pulled Zeke and Billy close, giving them a fierce hug before letting go. "Our home," he said with determination. Taking the key from his pocket he led them up the steps to the door of their house.


	30. Chapter 30

The lock was stiff and Casey had to jiggle the key to get it to work. Once the heavy bolt slid back he withdrew the key and dropped it back into his jeans pocket before turning the doorknob. Taking a deep breath he pushed the door open and stepped inside. 

The air was musty and heavy with the silence of a house that had been empty for too long. Dust motes swirled in the muted sunlight filtering in through the shades, dancing over the worn furniture. Here and there was a gap, something oddly missing, like a picture from the wall or a piece of furniture that had left impressions in the carpet. Casey moved slowly, trying to look everywhere at once and failing to see so much; the little details that had been a part of his grandparents' daily lives. 

Just inside the front door was a flight of steps that he suspected led to the bedrooms. Straight ahead was probably the kitchen. To one side was a wall and to the other side a living room complete with old-fashioned grandfather clock. Casey went to it, ignoring the tufts of stuffing, that lay on the carpet; a squirrel or mouse must have gotten in. The clock had stopped, the pendulum no longer swinging. Opening the case carefully, Casey gave the pendulum a start. 

Billy was running one hand over the upright piano keyboard, smiling thoughtfully. Across the room, Zeke was studying the small items on the fireplace mantel. 

"Case," he called, waiting until Casey joined him before pointing out the item that had caught his interest. "Is that you?" 

It was a black and white photograph in a plain wooden frame. In the photo an older woman sat in a rocking chair with a young boy on her lap. The child was no more than 5, with huge eyes in an small pointed face and stick-thin arms and legs. He was smiling and reaching out towards the camera. 

"I don't remember that," Casey said slowly, leaning close to study the face of the woman. It was like looking at someone he knew only from a distance, like a celebrity in a magazine. 

Billy joined them, placing his hand gently on Casey's back. "You were a cute kid, Casey." 

Casey turned his head and smiled distractedly at Billy. His eyes were focused on distant memories rather than his friend. 

"Lets finish the tour," Zeke suggested, using one hand to gently turn Casey away from the picture. The weight of the disconnected past was stifling here, in this room reserved for formal entertaining, devoid of the trappings of everyday activities. 

The dining room was simply furnished with a plain wooden table and high-backed chairs. A matching sideboard and a corner dish cupboard were the only other pieces of furniture, a dusty silk flower arrangement the only decoration. 

The kitchen was a nice surprise - light and more modern than Zeke had expected. He examined the appliances while Casey stood gazing out the window into the back yard. 

"How big is the property, Casey?" Billy asked, joining him at the window. 

"Not sure. It's the house and all the buildings plus some land, but I'm not sure of the total acreage." 

"So was this a working farm?" 

"Yes, but my grandparents only worked a small amount for themselves, the rest of the land was rented out. I'm not sure if Mom gave me everything or just the house. I didn't read all the papers yet." 

But you have the garden out there, right Case?" 

"Yeah, I guess. I don't know much about gardening though." He studied the tangled patch of ground off to the side of the house and sighed. 

"How hard could it be?" Billy asked. "We could try a small garden, just some tomatoes and stuff. It might be fun." He thumped Zeke, "Right?" 

"Don't drag me into this," Zeke protested. "I can't tell a real plant from a weed." 

"We need a cat," Casey announced suddenly. "There has to be a cat." 

"You mean a dog," Billy corrected. 

"Maybe a dog too, but not right away. First we need a cat." 

"Why?" Zeke asked, the hint of a smile in his eyes. "You ever had a pet, Case?" 

"Not allowed." Casey shook his head. "I always wanted one of those big black cats, the kind with eyes that look at you like they know your secrets. That will curl up and sleep in your lap." 

"Can't count a cat for that, Casey. Dogs are better at doing what you want them to." 

"I don't like big dogs," Casey replied, "and I don't want one of those little yappy dogs either." 

"Oh, latent canine hostility detected," Zeke laughed. "Why don't we leave the pet debate and go see the rest of this house?" 

Off the kitchen was the utility room complete with washer and dryer and steps leading to the basement. To the other side of the kitchen was a study, stuffed full of dark furniture and bookcases overflowing. Casey lingered there, looking at titles but not touching anything until Zeke pulled him away to finish looking around. A half bathroom and guest closet completed the downstairs. 

Returning to the front hall they took the steps to the second floor and found three bedrooms and a full bathroom. The master suite had its own half-bath and large closet. In the hallway, a pull-down staircase led to the attic, a huge dusty room crammed full of boxes and old furniture. Billy explored, calling his discoveries down to Casey and Zeke who waited at the bottom of the steps. 

"Wish you could see this, Casey. If this place was cleaned up it would be a great workspace." 

"Take pictures," Casey yelled back. "My camera's in the car." 

"I'll get it," Zeke offered, leaving before Casey had time to respond. While he was gone Casey wandered back into the master bedroom. The room ran across the entire front of the house. Casey could already imagine the king- sized bed and three matching dressers they'd need. The other three bedrooms would allow Billy and Zeke to each have their own room and still leave a guest room. 

He closed his eyes, imagining furniture and paint combinations, possibly even wallpaper in some of the rooms downstairs. He'd never really paid attention to such things; his old room had been small and didn't allow much flexibility for rearranging. But here... 

"Hey," Zeke was back, having delivered the camera to Billy. He slid his arms around Casey and kissed him tenderly. "Home, Case. Your home." 

"Our home," Casey corrected him, resting his head on Zeke's chest and just savoring his presence. It drove away some of the melancholy. 

"We'll photograph all the rooms, then go get some supper and go back to school. We can get some cleaning supplies and stuff and come back here tomorrow; make it a workday." 

Casey nodded, not ready to leave the comfort of Zeke's embrace. 

"Know what you need, Case?" 

"Hmmm?" 

Zeke put a hand under Casey's chin and tilted his face up, giving him another kiss before answering. "Catalogs." 

Casey thwapped him lightly and smiled. "Yeah, smartass?" 

"Thought I warned you about those endearments, Case. You'll make me all gooey." 

"That so?" Casey asked. Zeke nodded solemnly in reply. "Well then I guess I'll just have to call you something manly... like muffin." 

"Only if I get to call you cupcake." Zeke wrestled Casey onto the bed and the sound of laughter chased the last of the ghosts away. 

XXXXX 

"Let me get this straight," Billy said with a wide grin. He pointed to Zeke. "You're 'muffin' and you," he pointed at Casey, "are 'cupcake'?" They nodded, grinning right back. "Dare I ask what name you've chosen for me?" 

Casey grinned wider before answering. "Marshmallow." 

Only the fact that they were in public in a restaurant kept Billy from tackling him right there. Instead, he gave Casey and Zeke a pointed look that promised mayhem when they were back in the room. 

Zeke just smiled. 

The meal was almost finished when Billy brought the subject up again. "You know, we should pick Musketeer names instead; Porthos, Athos, Aramis... much less," he made a face. "Edible." he concluded. 

"Nothing wrong with edible," Zeke told him, his eyes promising to prove his statement when they were alone. 

Casey looked at the two of them. "Sounds like an exit line to me." 

Five minutes later they were in the car headed back to school. 

XXXXX 

"Hey, Casey!" Snuffy leaned out of his window and shouted down to them as Casey, Zeke and Billy climbed out of the car. "Dean Parker wants to see you in his office pronto." 

Casey looked at Zeke and Billy, eyes widening with worry. 

"Want us to come with you, Casey?" Billy offered. 

Casey shook his head and straightened. "No thanks, I'm sure I won't be long." He turned and headed across campus before they could decide to join him anyway. 

He went as fast as he could, and by the time he arrived at the dean's office Casey was out of breath. Although the dean had always been very nice to him, he had the terrible feeling that he'd done something wrong. 

"Come in," the dean replied to his tentative knock on the half-opened door. The dean was concentrating on something on his desk and didn't look up right away. Casey crossed the room and stood uneasily behind one of the guest chairs. 

"Sit down, Mr. Connor," the dean instructed without looking up. Casey complied while the dean continued reading the papers in front of him. After several long minutes he gathered the papers and placed them in a file folder. Finally he looked up, but he wasn't smiling. 

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Casey said nervously. 

"Yes, Mr. Connor. Where were you today?" 

"Sir?" 

"Did you leave campus today, Mr. Connor?" 

"Yes, sir." Casey said in a small voice. His face had gone pale and he hunched over in his seat, making himself small. 

"Sit up, Mr. Connor!" Dean Parker barked. Casey immediately obeyed. "Better. Now perhaps I didn't make this clear to you but as long as I am your legal guardian, I expect you to tell me whenever you leave campus. Is that clear, Mr. Connor?" 

Casey cringed. "Yes, sir." 

"I don't expect to have this conversation again." 

"Yes, sir." 

The dean studied Casey for a long minute, making the boy squirm before reaching for the folder he had just put the stack of papers in. He held up the folder. 

"I received an interesting letter today. Apparently you have been given a house. Is that correct?" 

"Yes, sir," Casey responded, relaxing a little. "It was my mother's parent's house." 

"And it is close?" 

"About 30 miles, sir." 

"I see." The dean leaned closer, his expression neutral and Casey felt his stomach tighten again. "Is that where you went today?" 

Casey nodded. 

"I assume you have a key?" 

Another nod. 

"Who gave you this key, Casey?" The dean's expression stayed the same but his voice made it clear that he would accept nothing but the truth, and that he already knew what that was. 

"My... mother, sir." Casey squeaked. 

"You have had contact with your mother since your parents relinquished custody?" 

"Yes," Casey said miserably, his face downcast. 

"Was it not sufficiently clear, Mr. Connor, that you were to have no contact with your mother?" 

Casey contracted a little more and nodded. 

"Look at me, Mr. Connor." 

Casey looked up, his eyes almost fearful. 

"Casey..." the dean's expression softened a little. "I know this is hard for you, but it is very important that you not have contact with either your mother or father for the next year. Once you are 18 you can decide if you want to see them again." The dean sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I am responsible for you Casey. Part of that responsibility is to make sure you have no contact with your parents." He leaned forward again, looking Casey in the eyes. "That means that you may not communicate in any way with Mrs. Elizabeth Connor. Do you understand me, Casey?" 

Casey caught the spark of something that the dean seemed to be trying to tell him. He nodded carefully. 

"Good." Dean Parker stood up and walked around the desk to Casey. "Perhaps you'll invite me to see your house some day, Casey?" 

"Yes, sir. But you probably want to wait until we've cleaned it up a little." Casey stood up. "Is it OK if I go there tomorrow with Zeke and Billy? We want to get a start on cleaning." 

Dean Parker placed a hand on Casey's arm and smiled. "It's fine, Casey. I just need to know where you are in case something happens." 

"Yes, sir." Casey stood up, returning the smile. "Thank you." 

"Good night, Casey." 

"Good night, sir." 

Casey could feel the dean watching him as he left the office and rather than feeling annoying, it seemed... nice.


	31. Chapter 31

It was a rather distracted Casey who headed off to the darkroom alone after assuring his friends that everything was all right with the dean. They had both offered to accompany Casey, but he'd firmly refused, needing the time to think. 

He'd been reprimanded a lot over the years and usually he felt quite bad, sometimes even nauseous, but this... what happened with the dean was different and Casey wanted solitude to think about it. 

Photo developing was second nature to him by now and he went through the motions automatically while his brain puzzled things out. He poked and prodded at his feelings, trying to understand why a reprimand would make him feel kind of warm and... cared for? 

Was that it? 

He didn't even have to close his eyes to picture his father reprimanding him, the man's face flushed red with anger, his voice loud and harsh. Sometimes he stood very close, shouting down into Casey's face, anger and disgust flowing from him in waves that threatened to drown Casey, to kill him painfully. More than once Casey had almost wished it would kill him, or that his father would finally hit him. Surely the pain of a fist wouldn't hurt as much as the sneer of contempt, the open disgust in his father's face. 

The dean never looked at him like that; not when he was in their room and saw the beds pushed together, not even when Casey's father screamed those terrible words. Even when he was lying on the bathroom floor sobbing pathetically, the dean hadn't shown revulsion, hadn't turned away. 

Why? 

Was this what it was like with a father who cared? Did a reprimand make you want to be better, not to avoid the screaming and contempt, but because you didn't want to disappoint? Was it really that simple? 

Casey didn't have an answer. The concept was too foreign, he had no reference for it. In the end he just shrugged and accepted it. 

As he cleaned up the darkroom he decided to work harder to meet the dean's expectations. "Must be that Sesame Street thing," he decided with a smile as he headed back to his room. 

XXXXX 

Zeke and Billy were discussing power tools when Casey returned. He moved around the room getting changed and finding a snack, deciding that he was glad he'd missed most of this discussion. 

"What do you think, Casey? Chainsaw, right?" 

"Don't drag me into this. The only thing I know about power tools is what I've seen in beer commercials." 

"They don't have power tools in beer commercials," Billy retorted, then whipped a pillow at Zeke who was snickering having already gotten the joke. "Okay," he conceded. "Casey skips that shopping trip." 

"Thank you," Casey said fervently. 

"So what about furniture?" Zeke asked. "Any ideas, Case?" 

"Yeah," Casey leaned back on the bed getting comfortable. "We can make do with most of what's already there for starters but I think we should spring for a nice big king-sized bed. Maybe the kind on a platform. Clean lines. Simple." 

"A big bed?" Zeke asked crawling slowly across the mattress to Casey. Casey leaned forward and they kissed. Just when it was getting really nice, Billy sprang from his seat and launched himself at them, wrestling the pair until they were all tangled and gasping for breath. 

"I owe you, Mal." Casey declared. 

"Mal?" Billy asked breathlessly. 

"Yup. For marsh*mal*low," Casey replied, then yelled as Billy and Zeke grabbed him and dragged him back into the muddle. 

"If I'm Mal, can I call you CC? And Zeke must be what... Fin?" 

Casey wiggled around and threw himself on top of Zeke while Billy laughed like a lunatic. 

"You're both nuts," Zeke told them calmly. 

"'S why you love us," Casey assured him. 

"Think so?" Zeke demanded. 

"Yup," Billy chimed in. 

"Might be right. Let's see if you can prove it." 

Billy and Casey looked at each other and grinned. 

Zeke just smiled, spreading himself out on the bed and waiting while the others moved the other beds closer. Thank goodness for Casey's felt. 

It was a good thing their friends had gone out to a movie and they had the hall to themselves for a while. 

XXXXX 

"This bedroom's done. How are you doing, Case?" 

"Okay," he replied, sniffling against the cloud of dust he'd raised. "Gonna need another cloth. This one's filthy." 

They'd decided to clean the bedrooms first working strictly against dust and dirt - leaving the sorting of items in closets and dressers for later. Thankfully the back two bedrooms were simply furnished with few knick knacks to slow down the cleaning. 

From the master bedroom in the front of the house, they could hear Billy swearing and coughing. He'd found an ancient vacuum cleaner in the linen closet and had been struggling with it and cursing at it ever since. 

"Use a broom," Zeke yelled, giving Casey a grin before he went to offer some assistance. Casey folded the cloth over and took another swipe at the windowsill. 

XXXXX 

Billy threw himself into a kitchen chair and groaned dramatically. 

Zeke calmly walked over to the fridge and took out a cola, handing it to Billy, then returning to his seat. 

"All done?" Casey asked. He was sitting back with his legs up on the fourth chair. Like Zeke and Billy, he had dirt smudges on his face and hands and looked tired. 

"Done," Billy confirmed. "Next weekend we can bring some groceries and plan on staying overnight. The whole upstairs is clean - including the bathroom thank you very much - and I even changed the bedding in our room." 

"No wonder you're wiped out, Billy. You should have told us; we would have helped." Casey shoved the bag of pretzels in Billy's direction. 

"Thanks. No, it's fine, Casey. I'm really not all that tired." He crunched a pretzel and took another drink of soda. 

"What say we get cleaned up and then check out some of the buildings before we go?" Zeke suggested, leaning close to Billy and snagging some pretzels. 

"Sounds good," Billy agreed and Casey nodded. Billy finished off his soda and Casey closed the notebook he'd been writing in, leaning back and closing his eyes for just a moment. 

"Come on," Zeke urged. "We'd better go before we all decide we're too tired to move." He helped Casey up. "Okay?" 

Casey nodded, taking up his crutches and heading off to check the house before locking up. Billy rinsed out his soda can and dropped it in the bag they'd set aside for recyclables. 

When they were ready, Casey locked the house and they headed off on a slow tour of the buildings. There were a few smaller structures that they decided to leave for another day, but they took time exploring the barn, the garage and what Casey called the summer house. 

They started farthest from the car at the summer house, a two-story cottage with porch and dirt basement. The ground floor consisted of one large room with a staircase off to one side. The upstairs was mostly open with a low wall dividing the space into two almost equal parts. There were odds and ends of old or damaged furniture here and it was extremely dusty, as if no one had been in it for several years at least. They left footprints in the dust. The basement was lined on three sides with uneven shelves, many filled with home-canned fruits and vegetables labeled in a tiny scrawl. 

They didn't talk much while in the building, almost as if they were afraid to disturb the thick silence. Once they were outside, Billy suggested it would make a good guest house. 

Casey nodded stiffly and for a moment, there was a hint of moisture in his eyes. 

"The barn," Zeke said quietly leading the way with Billy close behind, the older boys allowing Casey his privacy. By the time he joined them in the barn, Billy was happily describing how he could convert part of it into a workshop. 

"Power tools," Zeke mouthed at Casey, grinning. Casey mock shuddered and wandered off to explore the rest of the space. 

"Hayloft's pretty cool," Zeke reported when he returned. Casey had decided to skip that trip as his leg was beginning to hurt a little. 

"Off to the garage?" Billy asked and they agreed. 

"Pretty nice," Zeke decided, inspecting the work area off to one side, full of drawers of small parts and shelves for tools. 

"Workshop upstairs," Billy reported as he clattered down the wooden stairs. "Lots of windows, Casey. Might make a good studio and then the attic in the house could be converted into living space instead." 

"Sounds like you've got some ideas, Billy," Casey smiled. "You know we're going to depend on you for all that power tool stuff, right?" 

"I think I can handle it," Billy replied, throwing an arm around Casey while grinning at Zeke. 

"So where are we going to set you up, Zeke? You need a workroom too." 

"I'll take the hayloft, Case. Unless you suddenly decided to be a farmer?" 

"Nah, cows scare me. Unless they're on a dinner plate of course." 

"As long as it's not one of Snuffy's radioactive dinner plates," Zeke countered grinning wickedly. 

Billy rolled his eyes. "Speaking of which, when are we going to invite the gang out there? I think they could stand a workday." 

"Cheap labor? We could bribe them with one of Zeke's meals maybe?" Casey suggested, looking to Zeke for an answer. 

"'S okay with me. Just don't expect great things. I haven't tried out the stove yet." 

"Speaking of food..." Billy said. 

"That's my line," Casey teased heading off towards the car. 

The ride back to school was full of excited conversation - ideas for remodeling and setting up work spaces flying back and forth between them. Casey tried to write everything down in his notebook but soon got caught up in the excitement of it and abandoned pen and paper. 

They were all looking forward to next weekend when they could return to their new home.


	32. Chapter 32

Broken Toys 32 

"Ta dah!" Casey announced as he entered the room. He paused in the doorway then crossed the room modeling his new walking cast. It stopped just below the knee and was white with a blue boot over it. 

"Looks good, Case," Zeke said, leaning forward slightly to examine it. 

"What did the doctor say?" Billy wanted to know. 

"He thinks the cast will be off before graduation," Casey said happily, dropping down onto his bed and laying back, arms spread wide. 

Billy reached out with his foot and tapped Casey's arm. "Get up slacker, there's work to be done." 

Casey groaned, "Not another book report. Please." 

"Come on, Case. Less than two months and we're done. No more Sorens." 

"Speaking of which, I checked your mailbox for you after class." Billy took an off-white envelope from his desk and tossed it onto Casey's stomach. It lay there, moving gently with his breathing until he gave up and reached for it. He opened it carelessly and pulled out the letter inside, expecting junk mail. 

He sat up abruptly and examined the envelope then read the letter again. And again, his lips moving slightly as he absorbed the words. He looked up wide-eyed to find Zeke and Billy watching him with concern. 

"What is it, Case?" Zeke asked. Casey's face went through an interesting series of expressions before settling into open-mouthed shock. Wordlessly he handed the letter to Zeke. 

"Dear Mr. Connor, blah blah blah et cetera and so forth..." He skipped ahead then started reading again "...award you a..." He looked up at Billy and recited the rest. "A full scholarship." He turned to Casey again. "Case, you got a full scholarship to State." 

Casey nodded, still not able to get his mouth to cooperate. 

"Group hug," Billy shouted, launching himself at Casey and gathering him up tightly. Zeke joined them and before long they were in a pile, out of breath from laughing. 

Calming down a bit at last, Casey suddenly announced, "I need a car." 

"What?" Billy frowned but Zeke just grinned. "Is this a power tools thing?" he joked. 

"No, really," Casey insisted. "Look, a full scholarship gives me tuition, a book allowance and either on-campus room and board or a housing stipend. I could live at the house and drive to school and I could still work here a few hours a week for the dean. But I can't expect you to drive me everywhere, Zeke. You're going to be busy with your own classes and stuff." He grinned. "A car." 

"Got one in mind?" Zeke wanted to know. 

"Something cheap. I can't afford one yet but maybe we could go looking, just to see what a used car would cost. That way I'll know how much I'll need to save." Casey looked down at his foot. "Won't be able to drive for a while anyway." 

"Car shopping," Billy said happily. "I guess I should start looking too, considering we're going to be all grown up and stuff. Though not so grown up that I won't let my parents buy it for me." He added with a grin before diving back into the pile. 

No homework got done for quite a while. 

XXXXX 

"Hey," Casey greeted Billy and Zeke as he emerged from Dr. Carson's office. Billy set his textbook aside and rose, smiling at Casey as they passed. Billy entered Dr Carson's office and she closed the door behind him. 

"Candy?" Casey offered, holding out his hand to reveal colorful paper-wrapped squares. "I didn't know what kind you liked so Dr Carson said I could take a variety." 

Zeke picked the yellow square smiling up at Casey. "Thanks." He watched as Casey took the seat next to him and leaned back, closing his eyes with a sigh. "That bad?" 

"No," Casey shook his head, still not opening his eyes. "Just tired I guess." 

Zeke set his book aside and drew Casey close, guiding Casey's head to rest against his shoulder. They had the small waiting room to themselves so he brushed a kiss across Casey's head. "Rest." 

Casey sighed and relaxed into the familiar warmth. He didn't want to think about the past half-hour's painful questions and halting answers. He just wanted Zeke to keep him safe. 

"Shh, Casey." Zeke breathed when he felt Casey's breathing speed up. As long as he could comfort Casey he wouldn't have to think about his own upcoming time in that office. He drew Casey as close as he could and tried to relax. 

The clock on the wall ticked relentlessly and at precisely five minutes til, Casey lifted his head and they separated. Casey touched Zeke's hand, squeezing it for just a moment in silent support. 

By the time the office door opened, Casey was working on his homework and Zeke was crossing the room towards the office. 

"Hi," Casey greeted Billy as he dropped into the seat Zeke had just left. "Candy?" Casey offered, fishing the fruit flavored sweets out of his pocket. Billy picked the red one and smiled his thanks. 

Casey let him eat the candy before drawing Billy close, letting him rest just as Zeke had comforted Casey. They watched the clock in silence. 

XXXXX 

"What are we doing?" Billy asked as Zeke turned the car into the parking lot at the local mall. 

"Window shopping," Zeke replied grinning back at Casey. "Right?" 

"Better than catalogs," Casey said happily. "We can get some ideas for the house." 

"Right," Billy said uneasily. "This isn't like... looking at furniture is it?" 

"Yep." 

"Oh," Billy groaned, dropping his head into his hands. 

"Billy..." Zeke said in that low, seductive voice he saved for special occasions. "They have a... Sears." 

"Ooo," Billy said, perking right up. "Craftsman tools. Let's go." 

Now it was Casey's turn to groan. 

XXXXX 

"Is that your supper?" Billy asked as Casey set his tray down on the table. It was early and the food court was nearly empty, making it easier for Casey to get around. He was still getting used to the walking cast and moved rather slowly. 

"For starters," Casey said, grinning as he sat down and put his foot up on the chair across from him. Billy just shook his head and took another bite of his deluxe burger. 

Zeke arrived with an array of Mexican food and settled down to eat, smiling at Casey's choice. 

"What?" Casey demanded, grinning back. "Never seen a cinnamon bun before?" 

"Not as an entree, Case." 

"Want a bite? It's good." Casey offered up a forkful of pastry but neither Billy nor Zeke gave in to the temptation. This was just a bit too public for where these games usually led. 

"Maybe I should get another one for later," Casey mused. 

Zeke and Billy exchanged a look then turned to Casey and nodded in unison. 

XXXXX 

"What's up?" Snuffy asked when Hank admitted him to the room. Ricardo and Yogurt were already there. 

"Have a seat," Hank insisted, leaning back against his desk and crossing his arms, waiting until Snuffy took a seat on the bed beside Ricardo before continuing. 

The mood in the room was serious and Snuffy squirmed a bit. This group didn't usually do serious. 

"It's about Billy," Hank finally said, looking at each of them before continuing. "Actually it's about Billy and Casey and Zeke." 

"What about them?" Yogurt asked. He was a late entrant to the group, having befriended the boys when they were forced to share space during the terrorist occupation of the school. Yogurt had been an important part of the resistance and his remote controlled plane had helped save them all. 

"You've heard the rumors?" Hank asked, and reluctantly they all admitted they had. 

"So what?" Snuffy demanded, getting angry. "These are the same jerks that used to beat up on Casey. We took care of that quick enough. They're probably just trying to get back at him by spreading innuendo about him and Billy and Zeke." 

"Maybe," Hank said, unconvinced. "But there's more to it than that." 

"You mean about Casey's parents?" Ricardo asked. 

"And the abuse charges," Hank supplied. 

"And that they're all going to a shrink?" Yogurt added in a small voice. 

"Wait," Snuffy said, getting a bit upset. "Look, what's the real point here? Does it matter if there's any truth to any of it?" He crossed his arms defiantly. "All I know is that Billy, and Casey for that matter, are a lot happier since Zeke arrived. Whatever happened over break really isn't any of our business. Neither is what they do when they're alone." He leaned back, his expression challenging them to disagree. 

"Whoa, calm down, Snuffy." Hank said, laughing. He leaned over and punched the smaller boy lightly on the arm. "We took care of things with the rumors about Billy and Joey, right? And neither of them ever suspected that anyone knew. All I'm saying is that maybe we should take care of things again; watch out for them." 

"Agreed," Ricardo said, nodding. "We don't know anything and we don't need to know. We're just doing some pest control so no one bothers them." 

"So we all agree?" Hank asked, getting nods from everyone before cracking a smile. "Good. Now who's up for some take out? That cafeteria Chinese almost killed me." 

XXXXX 

"Geez, don't you guys ever do anything but eat?" Billy teased as he walked in, stopping to snag a piece of sweet and sour chicken from Snuffy's plate. 

"Hey!" Snuffy protested. "You should talk, Tepper. You're on a first name basis with every food delivery place in town." 

"Only because they're dazzled by my amazing phone voice." He tried to snag a spring roll off Hank's plate but Hank was too quick. 

"Get your own, Tepper." 

"No thanks, gents. Just got back from the food court at the mall." He leaned close and grinned. "Some of us do get out you know." 

"So if you didn't come over to steal our food, why are you here?" Ricardo asked. 

"Came to invite you slackers for a real home- cooked meal next weekend." 

"What's the catch?" Snuffy demanded, looking at Billy suspiciously. 

"No catch, Snuffy. Think of it as a trade. Casey's inherited a house and it needs a little cleaning. You guys come help out and Zeke will make you a meal you won't believe." 

"I'll bet," Hank snorted. 

Billy shrugged, "Your loss. He's a great cook. And you'd get to see Casey's place." 

"Where is it? Is it really his?" 

"Yes, it's all his and it's about half an hour's drive from here; out in the country - a farmhouse." 

"When do you want us there?" 

"How about Saturday morning at 9? I'll give you directions. We're going out Friday night to get started. Oh, and bring overnight stuff in case you decide to stay. We'll have to double up, but we'll all fit." 

They all looked at each other while Billy waited, grinning. "So?" he asked at last. 

"We'll be there," Hank said, speaking for all of them, But the food better be worth it." 

"You'll be amazed," Billy assured them before leaving them to finish their tepid greasy dinner.


	33. Chapter 33

Dr. Carson leaned back in her chair and sighed. Fifteen minutes into the first real group session with these three boys and the past 10 minutes of it had been spent in silence. She let it linger another minute, taking in Zeke's forced casual sprawl, Billy's unconscious leg movements and Casey's painful-looking tenseness. 

"Okay," she prompted, leaning forward and consciously relaxing her posture "Let's try something easier." She paused for a moment, noting that none of the boy's nervousness eased. Time to try a different approach. 

"Casey, anything good happen this week?" 

Ah, there it was; the slight relaxing of his shoulders, the straightening of his back, the smile, the others responding to Casey's shift in mood. Interesting. Was Casey always the emotional barometer for the trio? 

"I... I got a scholarship to State," he said happily, then shifted a little, blushing. She could see him dampening his excitement as if it were an automatic response. The other two boys shifted in their seats and their smiles faded a bit as if on cue. Very interesting. 

"That's wonderful, Casey. You should be very proud." 

"Well, I..." he hunched his shoulders, the faint blush of pink still coloring his face. He looked towards Zeke and then Billy, as if seeking encouragement, or perhaps permission. Zeke reached over and touched his hand while Billy offered up a smile. Casey smiled back and the tension eased again, but the blush remained. "I guess so," he admitted shyly, not quite meeting the doctor's eyes. 

"You should be proud," she assured him gently. "I'd like to see some of your photographs if you'd be willing to bring them in." 

Casey nodded eagerly and Zeke laughed. 

"Bring 'Grass is Scary' Casey," Billy suggested grinning. Casey nodded again and returned the grin. 

_Contact_, the doctor thought, smiling softly. She waited a moment before easing into the next question. 

"Well we know what Casey's plans are for the next few years. What about you, Billy? Zeke?" 

"We're all going to State," Billy answered for himself and Zeke. "Got the acceptance letters this week." 

"Are you planning on living on campus?" 

"No," Billy said, then hesitated, looking at Casey. 

"We're going to, that is... I have a house not too far from here. We're going to fix it up and live there." Casey said. He wasn't really uncomfortable with saying it, he just hadn't fully accepted the fact that he had a house of his own. It still seemed as if someone would shake him awake one day and he'd find it had been a dream or a joke. 

"A house?" Dr Carson said neutrally, measuring their guarded expressions. 

"It belonged to my grandparents," Casey said. "Big four bedroom farmhouse about half an hour from here. It needs work so Zeke and Billy are going to help out." 

"Sounds like a great idea, Casey. Does that mean you won't be working at Regis like you'd planned?" 

"No, I still want to work there. I just won't live there. At least not after the house is fixed up. At least," he looked at Zeke and Billy nervously as if he'd had a sudden unpleasant thought. "If the dean lets me live there." 

"You haven't asked him, Casey?" 

"No. I mean..." he swallowed hard and blushed, looking down. "I should have asked him." 

"Why?" Dr Carson asked gently. 

"Because..." Casey looked up and there was a flash of something dark and bitter in his eyes. "He's my guardian, right? Since I don't have parents anymore and I'm not legal yet." 

"Don't you want Dean Parker to be your guardian?" 

Casey laughed. "Does it matter?" He looked at Billy and Zeke who had tensed as well, leaning forward as if lending support by their physical proximity. Zeke's hands clenched the arms of the chair and Billy's hands were clenched into fists. Casey sensed their mood and leaned back, making a visible effort to relax. 

"I mean," he said in a quiet voice, "the dean's been great. He's done a lot for us and he didn't have to take on the responsibility of being my guardian. I'm grateful. But," he looked down at his tightly interlaced fingers and eased them apart. "It shouldn't be like this. That's all." He stared down at his hands. 

"Are you angry with your parents, Casey?" 

Casey shrugged but didn't look up. 

"Do you think they hate you?" 

A sharp, ragged breath and another shrug. 

"Do you hate them?" 

A long hesitation and then a slow shake of the head. 

"Why not?" 

Another shrug and the head bowed farther, shielding all of Casey's expression from view. 

Dr. Carson leaned shifted forward in her seat, keeping her voice soft and the tone conversational. She was well aware of the tension in Zeke's body, how he was struggling to remain in his seat while every part of him screamed his need to go to Casey. Billy's need was different; he wanted to hit something, his anger warring with his concern for his friend. The next few minutes could be very tricky. 

"You want me to believe that you don't hate them for what they did to you Casey? For neglecting you? For letting you be beaten and abused? For leaving you permanently damaged?" 

The words were like knives, each one driving into Casey, hurting him, bending him over on himself until he was almost bent double in the chair. 

Dr Carson took a quick measure of the anger levels in the room. It was almost palpable now and this next action would be dangerous, but she felt it was a necessary risk. Something had to shock Casey into confronting all of this rather than suppressing it. Quickly she left her chair and moved over to Casey, grabbing his shoulders and pushing back, unbending him and making him look at her. 

"Stop lying!" 

As expected, all three boys reacted. Casey recoiled as if he'd been hit, his eyes wide, revealing far more than he ever would willingly - anger, fear, hurt, betrayal. Zeke exploded out of his chair, barely controlled anger and the need to protect/defend Casey filling every millimeter of his body. He towered over her threateningly, using his size to try and intimidate. Billy closed in on the other side, his shorter, broader form held rigid, not as angry, but just as threatening. 

Carson gave the older boys each a measured look before dismissing them and leaned closer to Casey. She took one wrist in her hand. "Permanent damage, Casey. Loss of fine motor control in both hands." She dropped the wrist but didn't relent. "Your ribs - scar tissue causing shortness of breath, requiring limits on certain types of physical exertion." She leaned even closer. "Nerve damage affecting..." 

"Stop it!" Billy shouted. He couldn't hear this again, couldn't stand by and watch as this woman threw cold reality back into Casey's face. They knew he had permanent impairment from the years of beatings, they knew about his hands, his ribs, and even about the nerve damage in his groin. They knew he needed a little extra attention in certain areas. It didn't need to be repeated. Especially not here, not like this. 

Casey was trembling now, tears threatening despite his efforts to keep them at bay. Zeke snarled at the doctor and used his body to crowd her, not actually touching her but making her step aside by the sheer force of his presence. He made himself a barrier between her and Casey and his expression promised pain if she tried to get at Casey again. 

Carson stood her ground, eyes meeting Zeke's angry glare, holding it. Time stretched on pulled as taut as every nerve in that room until the break she was waiting for finally occurred. 

"I'm not broken," Casey said softly. "They didn't break me." The voice was unsteady, but there was conviction behind it. 

"No, they didn't Casey," Carson said quietly. "Because you're strong." She took a small step back, finally breaking eye contact with Zeke. "You're all strong. None of you are broken." 

The tension ebbed away as if someone had pulled a plug somewhere. Zeke and Billy turned to each other and Casey stood up to join them. They grasped hands, making an irregular circle, and held on tight. 

Dr Carson stepped back, moving quietly to the other side of the room, watching the boys until they separated, moving apart and reluctantly returning to their seats. She crossed the room and took her seat again. 

"We're not going to play games here, gentlemen; we're going to deal with some ugly reality. I'm not going to demand any more from you than you are capable of. Do you understand that? You are here to accept and understand that you are not damaged or broken or weak; that the actions of your parents and others around you does not define you." She looked at Casey, sorry for the pain in his eyes, yet knowing that she forced him to take a small step in the right direction. She offered him a tiny smile, understanding when he wasn't able to return it. 

Billy moved restlessly, and Zeke still radiated anger. She offered them the same tiny smile. Careful to keep her movements open and smooth, she stood and returned to her desk. "Why don't you take off a little early?" she suggested. She looked at each of them in turn. "You've done well today. All of you." 

She watched as they left the room, Zeke and Billy on either side of Casey offering silent support as they walked away. Only when the door closed behind them did she sit down. It had been a close thing, very close, but the risk had been worth it. Now if only her hands would stop shaking, everything would be fine. 

XXXXX 

"Where are we going?" Billy asked after they'd been driving for more than 10 minutes. The houses and shops of the town faded away and the only evidence of civilization was the occasional house or car. 

Zeke was driving fast, his beloved GTO moving fluidly along the curves and rises of the two lane road. He'd wrecked his first car while fighting the aliens last year. It had taken some work to find an almost identical replacement but he'd managed it. 

He was a usually a careful driver for all his seeming nonchalance. Now, however, there was an edge to his movements and he seemed cold and unapproachable. 

Without warning he turned the steering wheel hard to the left and the car bumped down an uneven gravel road fast enough to jostle the passengers. 

Around one bend, then another. Zeke slammed on the breaks and the car slid sideways a bit before stopping. 

No one spoke for a moment, the air heavy with uncertainty. Zeke exhaled loudly and snapped off his seatbelt, opening the car door and launching himself up and out in the same motion. 

Billy and Casey looked at each other nervously. 

Cautiously, Casey opened his door and got out. Zeke was standing a few feet away staring out into the thickness of trees and underbrush. The heaviness of solitude pressed down on them. 

Without speaking Casey approached Zeke, reaching out with one hand tentatively. Just before contact was made, Zeke turned, swept Casey up and kissed him hard. 

There was no tenderness or hesitation in the kiss, only harsh demand and raw need. They battled each other equally, neither one completely in control. Teeth clicked against each other and tongues laid claim to hidden recesses. Fingers dug into cloth, scoring the skin underneath. Breathing was harsh and loud, as if there weren't enough oxygen anywhere. 

Billy watched for a moment, stunned. But as the first flash of bare skin was seen, he crossed the space that separated them and staked his claim as well. 

Casey was between them, Zeke pressed hard against his chest, Billy solid against his back. There was no space between them even as they writhed against each other, leaving imprints with mouths and fingers. 

There was no coordination as they loosened clothing to reveal those most sensitive places, and no gentleness when those places were marked. 

Casey was making little sounds now, his hands tight in Zeke's hair as the older boy worked downward while Billy sucked at Casey's neck. 

There was no conversation, no words of caring as they moved against each other. It was selfish and primal and raw - exactly what they needed. 

Casey's breathing was ragged as he pressed back harder against Billy's erection. He willed the fabric between them to disappear, almost crying with the desperation of his need. 

Kneeling before him, Zeke was using his mouth to torment Casey, taking him in just the smallest bit, then letting Casey's cock slip free before catching the tip in his mouth again. Zeke's unforgiving hands worked Casey's balls, squeezing and pulling them until Casey thought he would pass out. 

The wishing worked and suddenly Casey's clothing was pulled away. It was skin against skin as Billy resumed the brutal pressure. Casey welcomed it, shifting to trap Billy's erection between them. Wanting more. 

Zeke was teasing Casey's cock again, licking the length with painfully slow motions. Casey thrust forward blindly and got a bite on the inner thigh as punishment. 

Zeke caught Billy's eye as the shorter boy leaned forward to nip at Casey's shoulder. They didn't need words to communicate what they wanted. Zeke shifted back, looking up at Casey. 

"We're gonna make you scream, Case." 

The words alone were almost enough to send Casey over the edge, but Zeke grabbed his cock and squeezed hard at the root, making the smallest boy groan. After a moment, the grip was released and Casey was no longer on the edge of exploding. 

"Relax," Billy pushed the word into Casey's ear with his tongue. "We've got a long way to go, Casey." 

Billy's fingers were in Casey's mouth now, thrusting in and out in a rhythm that matched Billy pressing against his entrance and Zeke taking him deep in his mouth. Casey groaned again and his eyes rolled upward. 

"Not yet, cupcake," Billy whispered. "Got a few more things to try." 

The fingers slid from Casey's mouth and found their way to his entrance, wetting everything, getting him ready. 

Billy pressed his other hand to Zeke's mouth, stretching around awkwardly for the older boy to add his saliva to the palm of Billy's hand. 

While Billy prepared himself and Casey, Zeke increased his attack on Casey's cock. Zeke was taking him completely now, sucking hard and moving fast enough that Casey couldn't help but make little thrusting motions with his hips despite the hands that tried to hold him still. 

He almost screamed when Billy took him, not the gentle entry that Zeke used, but a relentless, though not violent, assault that didn't ease until Billy had claimed him completely. 

Zeke waited until Billy was fully inside Casey before returning his attentions to Casey's erection. He worked in counterpoint to Billy's movements, the two of them determined to drive Casey far beyond his usual limits. 

Zeke concentrated on Casey's balls, nipping and sucking the area that had supposedly suffered the most nerve damage. The doctor had warned that there would be a small decrease in sensitivity, perhaps some numbness, most likely a loss of fertility. Zeke didn't believe any of it. He would show Casey that the doctor was wrong; that there was nothing wrong with him. 

He nipped at the balls one last time, them took Casey's cock deep, letting Billy's thrusts set the pace. He reached around Casey and put one hand on Billy's hip, urging him to move faster. 

Casey was well and truly pinned between his lovers, their movements uncoordinated now, their need an almost physical presence. 

It could have been brutal, almost an act of violence, but it wasn't. Every mark on flesh, every tiny cry was born of pleasure, not pain, and every movement was for love, not torment. 

When Casey came, he threw back his head and screamed his ecstasy to the sky. 

It took them a long time to come down, despite their physical exhaustion. They cleaned themselves up as best they could, Casey's climax made Billy lose control and then they both turned on Zeke until he cried out as well. Redressed, they all climbed into the back seat of the car and held each other. 

No one said a word about Casey's tears, or Billy's dry-eyed shuddering sobs, or the way Zeke's hands shook so hard that it took Billy and Casey holding them to stop the tremors. 

No one needed to say anything. They all understood. They weren't damaged; they weren't broken. They were whole and loved and together. And that was all that really mattered.


	34. Chapter 34

"No," Zeke said calmly taking the box of powered sugar donuts from the cart and returning it to the shelf. 

"Aw, come on Zekie," Billy teased. "Don't make widdle Casey pout." He snagged the box of donuts and put them back in the cart. 

Casey thwapped Billy, then grinned and headed off in pursuit of more junk food. Zeke just sighed and pushed the cart along, conceding this one, but determined not to give in to every sugary, preservative filled thing Casey wanted to buy. 

Surprisingly, other than a bag of Hershey Kisses, sugar wafers, the donuts and some chips, Casey seemed content to let Zeke dictate the shopping list, helping him gather the items he'd need for the meals he'd be making over the weekend. 

Billy wandered off randomly, clearly uninterested but going along anyway just for something to do. His only contribution to the basket was some sourdough pretzels and Pepsi. 

They arrived at the check out line with plenty of provisions for a weekend at the house with (hopefully) hard working friends. 

"I got it," Casey insisted as he reached for his wallet. The dean had paid him for his hours in the darkroom as well as given him the amount he'd promised for Casey's weekly allowance. On top of that he'd surprised Casey with a generous amount for supplies for the house. Casey had put most of it away for savings, but he had enough to get what they needed for the weekend. 

Casey handed over the amount due with a smile, thankful that he was no longer forced to accept charity from his friends. He could contribute his share now, and it felt good. 

They filled the trunk with bags, bracing them with the cleaning supplies and overnight bags they'd brought. Snuffy and the others would join them in the morning but they'd use tonight to change the guest room bedding and prepare for the workday ahead. 

Billy climbed into the back of the car, grinning as Casey settled himself gingerly in the passenger seat. 

"Something wrong, Casey?" he teased, leaning forward and speaking right in Casey's ear. 

"Nothing I'm going to complain about," Casey replied, grinning back. "Just don't expect me to sit on the floor much this weekend." 

"Everybody ready?" Zeke asked with a grin of his own. Without waiting for an answer he started the car and drove out of the parking lot. 

XXXXX 

"Case?" 

Casey looked up from the desk where he was surrounded by papers and books. He smiled distractedly and held up the book he was holding. "Photos." 

"You?" Zeke asked when he had moved closer, leaning over Casey's shoulder to examine the small images in black and white. 

"I think so. Looks like my mother there, and that must be my grandfather. I couldn't have been more than a few months old." 

"You were tiny." 

"Yeah, I was born early. Mom never wanted to talk about it. Guess that's why there weren't more kids." 

Casey closed the album carefully and put it back on the desk. "Let's not look at anymore tonight." 

Zeke laid a hand on Casey's shoulder and squeezed gently. After a moment of silence he leaned down and pressed a whisper soft kiss to Casey's temple. "Come on, Case, let's go find Billy. I think he got lost in the attic." 

"Wait, I want to show you this." Casey opened the bottom drawer of the desk and moved some papers aside to reveal an old camera. "I think it was my grandfather's." 

Zeke leaned forward and closed the drawer. "No ghosts, Case. Remember?" 

"No ghosts," Casey replied, shaking his head. "History. History doesn't hurt." 

Zeke seemed doubtful but Casey just smiled and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek. "Come on," he said, grabbing Zeke's hand, "Billy promised me a horseback ride up to the attic." 

Zeke followed behind, ginning. This he wanted to see. 

XXXXX 

"Giddyup," Casey yelled, wrapping his legs around Billy as well as he could with his cast. 

Billy made noises that might have been a really bad imitation of a neigh and Casey laughed while Zeke trailed behind, highly amused by the entire spectacle. 

"Your destination, sir," Billy said, standing up abruptly, breathing hard. He tried to dump Casey off but the boy had his arms locked around Billy's neck and wouldn't let go until he felt like it. 

"Wow," Casey commented, looking around at the array of *stuff* that filled the huge room. 

"Maybe we could have the guys haul all this to the summer house tomorrow and then we can sort it out when we have time." 

"No," Casey countered, "We should clear the summer house and put everything in the barn. Just in case we need the summer house for guests." 

"Got anyone in mind, Case?" 

Casey shrugged, but there was a gleam in his eye that let the others know he had plans, even if he wasn't ready to share them. 

"You're right about this room, Billy. It would make a great place just to relax. We could put the stereo and stuff here. Maybe get some comfy chairs." 

"We can figure that out later," Zeke suggested. "Let's go try out the stove. I want to know what I'm up against before tomorrow." 

"Mind if I work up here a while?" Billy asked. "I thought I'd sort out furniture and stuff so it'll be easier to move tomorrow." 

"Okay by me," Casey said, "But you'll have to dry dishes later." 

Billy made a face. "A bed is the first thing we have to buy, but a dishwasher's gotta be second." 

Casey laughed and started his cautious journey down the steps. Once he was on the floor he yelled up, "Bye horsey!" 

This time Billy did sound like a horse. 

XXXXX 

"All finished?" Zeke asked, looking up from his book and smiling at the slightly damp pair walking towards him. Apparently the dishes weren't the only things that had gotten washed. 

"Kitchen's all cleaned up and ready for the horde to arrive tomorrow." Billy dropped into a faded green-gold arm chair with a sigh. He leaned back, closed his eyes and yawned. 

"We shouldn't stay up too late," Casey reminded them. "Tomorrow's going to be busy." He eased himself down onto the sofa, lying on his side, his legs stretched out across the worn fabric. He looked tired. 

"You OK, Case?" Zeke asked, setting his book aside and leaning forward to tap Casey's arm. "You look worn out." 

"Leg hurts a little. Too many stairs, I guess." 

"You ought to work down here tomorrow; let us run things up and down for you. You don't want to aggravate anything or you won't get the cast off before graduation." 

Casey nodded sleepily, his eyes heavy lidded. 

"We set for tomorrow? Got the room assignments and everything?" Billy asked Zeke. 

"Yeah. We're in the one room. Snuffy and Hank each get a room. Ricardo and Yogurt share." 

"You sure we should do that? Maybe Yogurt could take the couch instead." Billy suggested. 

"No," Zeke countered, smiling. "I don't think they'll mind sharing." 

Billy's eyes widened as the implication hit. "Really?" 

"Yup." 

Casey opened his eyes a little and smiled at Zeke. "How'd you come up with that?" 

"Easy," Zeke said casually. "Just watch them tomorrow. If I'm wrong I'll make your favorite dinner." 

"Deal," Billy said quickly, then added, "How's your filet mignon?" 

"Any complaints about the pork chops tonight?" 

"No way," Casey said, smiling even though he didn't open his eyes. "They were great. And real mashed potatoes. Mmmm." 

"There you go," Zeke concluded, standing up and giving Billy a nip on the ear before lifting Casey up in his arms and starting towards the stairs. 

"Would you mind locking up, Billy? I'm gonna haul Case upstairs before he zonks out on the couch." 

"Sure, Zeke. I'll be up in a bit. Got some homework to finish. Night Casey." 

Casey mumbled and snuggled against Zeke's chest. He was asleep before they reached the top of the stairs and didn't wake again until morning.


	35. Chapter 35

"They're here," Casey yelled in through the open window. He waved to the group in the weather-beaten blue sedan and hurried down the steps to greet them. Billy raced past, giving Casey a grin. 

"Wait til I get this cast off, Tepper," Casey called. 

"Yeah, like I have to worry about those little legs, Connor." Billy opened the passenger door before Snuffy could and yelled in, "Come on slackers, there's work to be done." 

"Give it a rest, Billy, I've been stuck in the car with these clowns for the last half- hour. I need a break." Hank slid out of the driver's seat and stretched. 

"And some food," Snuffy added, getting out of the car. 

"Yeah," Ricardo agreed. "And some caffeine. Snuffy here kept us up half the night watching one of his awful sci fi movies." 

"The Monolith Monsters is a classic," Snuffy said, following Billy and Hank towards the house. 

"Yeah," Casey agreed, ignoring the laughter and groans. 

"This is a great place, Casey," Yogurt said, hanging back to take in the surroundings. 

"Sure is," Snuffy agreed, pausing to consider the view. "Pretty nice that it's in the middle of nowhere." 

"Yeah. It's quiet," Billy chimed in. "Except for all the birds and stuff. Worse than city noise." 

"Spoken like a city boy," Ric replied, throwing an arm around Billy and mock choking him. "Right Billy?" 

"And proud of it. Come on, we'll give you the full tour after breakfast." 

"Pancakes and sausage," Casey said enthusiastically. "Blueberries optional." 

"How many have you had already, Casey?" Hank teased. 

"Just two. Zeke needed a taste tester." 

"I'll bet," Billy said, raising his eyebrows and smirking. Casey thwapped him. 

Zeke greeted the crowd as they invaded the kitchen. "Pancakes are up, sausage is on the way. Billy, why don't you point out the important stuff while Casey and I get the food and drinks ready? We're going to set up a buffet line." 

"I cleaned up the dining room but it might be nicer to eat on the porch. Just watch out for rogue dust bunnies." 

"More like dust elephants," Zeke commented in an undertone. 

"Hey, I swept this morning." Casey protested. 

"And lived to tell about it," Billy added cheekily before leading the group away. "Come on people, I'll give you the ten cent tour before we eat." 

As soon as they were out of sight, Zeke caught Casey and stole a kiss. "Might not get to do that again today." 

"How ever will you survive?" Casey teased, batting his eyes and kissing back. "Thanks for cooking, Fin," he said, smiling wickedly. 

"Welcome, Cupcake," Zeke responded dryly. "Now get those glasses and plates out. I've got to turn these pancakes or they'll burn. Then you'll have to eat them." 

"Charcoal pancakes? No way. Flip to your heart's content. Some of us have work to do." 

By the time the group returned, the kitchen counter was loaded with food, dishes and utensils. The orange juice and soda sat near the coffee pot and an ice bucket was nearby. Casey had set out the syrup, butter and applesauce beside the platter of pancakes. The box of powdered sugar donuts was off to one side. 

One lone pancake survived the breakfast massacre. Casey offered it around but no one had room for it. 

"This is why we need a dog," Billy said with a smile, continuing the ongoing discussion they'd been having all week. "No leftovers." 

"Man, if everything Zeke makes is this good there won't be many leftovers," Hank stated. 

"Wait til you see what he has planned for tonight." Casey grinned. "But don't even think of asking what it is yet. You're only getting the good stuff if you earn it." 

"I see how this works," Snuffy huffed, crossing his arms. 

"Yup," Billy grinned. 

"So what do you need us to do?" Ricardo asked, leaning back in his chair and stretching. 

"Zeke and I are on kitchen clean up. You're going to work with Billy to clear out the attic and take the stuff to the barn. If there's time we'll work in the summer house." 

"Sounds like a plan," Hank nodded, standing up. "Let's get to work." 

Billy led the group upstairs while Zeke and Casey cleared away the dirty dishes. Casey winced at the sound of more than one thing falling or being dropped. When the dishes were all clean, dry and put away he hurried off to see what was going on. Zeke trailed along behind. 

Billy had arranged an assembly line and Casey and Zeke had to time their journey up the stairs to avoid the people and the items that had only been carried that far. 

They had decided to carry everything as far as the front porch and then move it the rest of the way to the barn using the old wheelbarrow Billy had found. Right now they were carrying out the smaller items. Then they'd work with the heaver, more awkward pieces. 

"No horseback ride today," Billy told Casey when he joined them. "This horse is getting tired." 

"Take a break if you need it," Casey frowned with concern. "Don't overdo." 

"Don't let him fool you, Casey. He's just looking for sympathy." Hank grinned and dodged the friendly punch Billy threw at him. 

Yogurt walked by lugging a misshapen box. "More bricks," he muttered, panting. 

"Give me a minute to get up there." Casey suggested. "I'll see if I can do anything to help." 

"You can help by cleaning up after, Case. Don't try to carry anything heavy." 

"Yeah, I'm not giving you a horseback ride across the stage to get your diploma," Billy said. 

"I'll be careful," Casey said, rolling his eyes. Sheesh. Zeke followed him up, offering a steadying hand when Casey wavered a little. 

The attic looked quite different with most of the clutter gone. There was an old rocking chair with a broken seat and several large trunks as well as an old double bed frame. 

"The floor's not as nice up here." Casey commented, eyeing it critically. "Maybe we could get a nice rug. It'd be warmer, too." 

"Got any furniture in mind?" Zeke asked as he pulled one of the trunks closer to the entryway. It was heavy and would be tricky to get down the stairs. 

"Simple stuff up here, I think, maybe modern. Light wood. Maybe a recliner for Billy. Something nice for you. Wall unit for the stereo and stuff. Maybe we could build in some bookshelves; there are a lot of niches and alcoves that would be good for that. Lots of lamps." Casey stopped and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, I get carried away. Never did anything like this before, it's kind of like an art project in 3-D." 

"'S ok, Case. Have fun with it. Go wild." 

"Not too wild. We do have to live here." Casey shrugged, "It's mostly wishful thinking anyway. Furniture's expensive." 

"There's a thrift shop on the way back to school." 

"Really?" Casey was surprised. "I thought... I mean, you wouldn't mind getting used stuff?" 

"This house is full of used stuff. Besides, I want to see you turn rejects into something useful." 

"Yeah," Casey grinned. "Rejects. We know about that." He smiled softly at Zeke, a wealth of emotion in his eyes. "We'll do it together, the three of us." 

"The three of us," Zeke repeated, nodding his agreement.


	36. Chapter 36

"Where did you get this stuff?" Hank asked after he stopped choking. He eyed the glass warily. "Tastes like lighter fluid." 

"I think it is lighter fluid," Snuffy added, sniffing the contents of his own glass warily. 

"This, my friends, is vodka. Not that you cretins would know anything about what a proper drink tastes like." 

"At least it doesn't taste like mouthwash," Ric conceded, taking a careful sip. He grimaced; it was pretty bad. 

"Billy," Zeke said smoothly, walking to the sideboard and extracting a bottle. "You've got to stop shopping with the winos." He pulled out a bottle of rum and showed it around the room. "This is a real drink." 

"Where did you...?" Casey started to ask, then changed his mind. "Never mind, I don't want to know." 

Zeke just smiled. He poured some Pepsi into a glass then added a measure of rum before handing it to Casey. Casey hesitated a moment, clearly fighting the instinct to obey the rules. Zeke grinned and leaned closer. "You gonna be bad, Case?" 

"Yeah," he returned the grin and accepted the glass, taking a swallow of the liquid before he lost his courage. He made a face at the taste. 

Zeke laughed and prepared more drinks, passing the glasses around and keeping the last one for himself. He downed it and poured another. 

"Much better," Hank declared, holding out the empty glass for a refill. 

"Not too much," Casey cautioned. Snuffy whipped a pillow at him. 

"Lighten up. We'll still be able to work tomorrow. Slave driver." 

"Just don't want people getting sick all over the place," Casey grumped, taking another sip of his drink. He still had more than half left and wasn't in a hurry to finish it. 

"So what's the plan for tomorrow?" Yogurt asked, changing the subject. He wasn't hurrying to finish his drink either. First chance he got he was going to switch to straight Pepsi. 

"Everything's out of the attic, and it's been swept and the windows washed. The floor could use mopping but that can wait. There's some stuff left in the summer house that needs to go to the barn and the whole place needs a good clean." 

"The workshop and the hayloft need cleaning too, and I was hoping to clear out the garden. It's not too late to plant some vegetables." Billy added. 

"You know this whole place could stand painting, inside and out," Hank commented, looking around. "And you could knock out a couple of interior walls here and make things look really good. "You ought to get your dad to help out, Billy, Maybe he'd loan you some equipment. I bet he's got ladders and stuff that would make painting the house easier. We could make it another workday." 

"Yeah," Billy nodded, thinking. "Yeah. That's a great idea. I'll call him when we get back to school." 

"You guys are willing to help?" Casey asked. "You're sure you won't be too busy with school stuff? It's not to long til graduation." 

"It should be ok. You'll know if things get too busy." Snuffy replied. He finished his second rum and Pepsi and was looking extremely mellow. Ricardo was next to him on the sofa and Yogurt was on the end, leaning just the slightest bit against Ric. 

Billy and Hank were in armchairs and Casey had taken one of the dining room chairs he'd dragged in from the other room. Zeke was leaning comfortably against the doorframe. 

"Can you believe we'll be graduating in less than two months?" Snuffy mused. 

"It'll be pretty strange to leave Regis. I won't get to see your ugly faces every day." Hank leaned back in his chair and sighed. "I'm kind of looking forward to it, though." 

"Me too," Billy agreed. "Now that I have a reason to." 

"Who'dve believed our little Billy's going to college." Snuffy wiped away a pretend tear and caught the pillow Billy tossed at him. He tossed it back but missed and it bounced off Yogurt's knee. 

"All right, clown, what are your big plans?" Billy challenged. 

"I knew it. You never listen, Tepper. I already told you I'm going to Princeton." 

"Yeah? What's your major?" 

"Undeclared, but I'll come up with something eventually." 

Hank snorted. "Figures. I'm getting away from all you losers. UCLA here I come." 

"Didn't know you could major in girl watching." Ric said, laughing. 

"You kidding? I'll be getting my PhD in that. All that business and accounting stuff is just to fill up my spare time." 

The conversation lagged for a few minutes so Casey asked, "What about you Ric? Any plans?" 

"Yeah, Rice University. I'd like to be a teacher." He gave Yogurt a sad smile. "You're gonna have to keep up the tradition. Can't have all our hard work go to waste." 

"But no fire hoses in the chapel or cherry bombs in the toilets. They lack class," Billy instructed. The others razzed him. 

"Speaking of pranks, what are we going to do for our graduation? We need something epic." Billy's eyes brightened as he started to plot. 

"Wait a minute," Casey protested. "Maybe we shouldn't..." he trailed off as they all looked at him. "Just... count me out on this, guys." 

"Why?" Hank demanded. "You're part of the group." 

"Yeah, but..." Casey sighed and straightened his shoulders. "Look, I just... I can't." He look a long swallow of his drink, closing his eyes against the taste. He did not want to have this discussion. 

"It's ok, Casey." Billy tried to soothe the situation but Hank wouldn't let it go. 

"Not it's not," he declared, "not without a good reason." 

Casey sighed and started down into his glass for a long minute before downing the last of the rum and Pepsi. He just shook his head and didn't answer. 

"I knew it." Hank said loudly. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes bright and dangerous. "Little wimp," he snarled, venom in his voice, "knew you didn't belong in the group." 

Casey flinched and lowered his head, his shoulders hunched. He didn't offer defense or objection, only silence. Around him, the other boys shifted, irritated or uncomfortable. 

Billy's hands clenched into fists and he counted to fifty, trying to keep himself calm. This was Hank, his friend. There wasn't a real threat here, it was just a misunderstanding, he didn't need to go to Casey's defense. Across the room, Zeke moved, his body shifting from relaxed to alert. He waited, like a cat, ready to attack if needed. 

"You're right, Hank," Casey conceded at last, when the tension had drawn out too long and no one else had been able to break it. He rose carefully and set the glass on the table, turning away. "See you in the morning." 

He brushed past Zeke without looking at him and made his way slowly up the stairs. They could hear his footsteps receding and after long minutes, the faint sound of a door closing. 

"What the hell was that?" Snuffy demanded. 

Billy and Zeke exchanged looks and Billy shook his head slightly. Zeke crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway frowning. 

Yogurt watched the interplay between the two older boys. With a grimace he downed the rest of his drink and reached out to put the empty glass on the coffee table. He stood and stretched, giving Ric a look before announcing, "Guess I'll head up." He covered a yawn. "I'm in the middle room, right?" 

"Yeah," Billy answered, "There's extra bedding in there. You and Ric can work out the sleeping arrangements." 

"Okay, well see you in the morning." Yogurt walked away and Hank scowled at his retreating back before standing up and crossing to the table where the rum and Pepsi sat. He poured himself another glass, heavy on the rum and took a swallow before returning to his seat. 

"You gonna tell us what his problem is, Billy?" Hank demanded. He nodded towards Zeke. "I know better than to ask him." 

"Why don't you tell us what your problem is?" Zeke countered. 

"Drop it Hank." Billy pleaded, far too tired for a fight. "Casey has his reasons for not going along with the prank. That doesn't stop us from planning something." 

"Forget it. You've lost your edge, man. You've spent so much time with the little wimp and Mr. Cool here that it's turned you soft." Hank glared at Zeke, every line of his body begging Zeke to make a move. 

"Hank," Snuffy's voice was quiet but hard- edged, cutting through the sudden tension. "Stop it." He stared Hank down, then turned to Billy and Zeke. "This isn't our business and you don't owe us any explanations, but we are your friends and you *can* trust us." 

"I know that," Billy said, then corrected himself. "We know that. It's just... Look, this is Casey's business. It's up to him to decide who to tell. He does have a good reason for not going along. Just... try to accept that, ok? Don't give him a hard time about it; he's had enough of that lately. Can't we all just calm down, please?" 

Billy looked around at the faces of this friends. They'd shared so much with him. They'd survived the terrorists together. They'd all lost a friend when Joey had been killed. They'd gotten him through the dark weeks after, sticking with him even when he'd screamed terrible things to try and drive them away. They'd kept him alive when all he'd wanted to do was die. But now... he just couldn't fathom where Hank's anger was coming from. He'd thought his friends liked Casey and Zeke. 

Zeke was beside him now, one hand on Billy's shoulder. Zeke looked down at him and Billy raised his glass in a salute. Understanding passed between them before Zeke moved smoothly away, breaking the tension by refilling glasses and changing the subject. 

Before long even Hank participating in the discussion of what they'd like Zeke to try cooking next time. The steak had been a huge success and Casey had helped by making mashed potatoes. The only leftovers were a few green beans and one slice of packaged cake. Zeke had already decided that he'd make dessert next time rather than buying it. Casey was eager to help and did fairly well as long as he didn't get distracted. 

Zeke leaned back in the chair he'd claimed after Casey left it. He let the discussion flow around him while he mused about the irony of finally using all the things he's learned from being raised by housekeepers. If he wasn't careful, he decided with a smirk, he'd turn into a domestic or something. 

The others gave him a strange look, but Zeke just kept smirking, too lost in this thoughts to notice their reaction. 

XXXXX 

"Casey? Can I come in?" Yogurt tapped lightly on the bedroom door, then stepped back uncertainly. He wasn't really sure about doing this but he felt that he should at least make an effort. 

A long silence. Yogurt turned to leave when he heard a sound and then the door opened halfway. 

"Something wrong?" Casey asked with a hint of impatience. 

"Um, yeah, sort of. Can I come in? Just for a minute?" 

He was sure that Casey was going to refuse, but at the last second Casey consented, moving back with a sigh. 

"Come on in. Ignore the mess." 

Other than a few stray items of clothing strewn about, there wasn't a mess. In fact, it was neater than their door room. The bedroom was rather sparsely furnished for the size - with just a bed, nightstand, dresser and ladderback chair. 

Casey led the way over to the half-made bed and took a seat. When Yogurt remained standing, Casey motioned for him to sit beside him. 

Yogurt perched carefully on the edge of the bed, making sure not to get to close so he didn't crowd Casey. Casey was watching him waiting, and Yogurt cleared his throat, then laughed nervously. He rubbed the palms of his hands along his jeans and closed his eyes, gathering courage. A warm hand on his arm brought him back to the moment. 

"Just say it. It's ok." 

Yogurt nodded. He could do this. 

"You don't have to answer if you don't want. It's just that..." A sharp intake of breath, then releasing the air slowly, trying to force himself to calm down. Casey was his friend, and Casey would understand. He could trust him. He looked into Casey's eyes. "How do you manage it; you, Billy and Zeke? I mean, the three of you are together, right? How do you work it out?" 

Casey laughed and shook his head. "I guess we're not as discrete as we thought," he said ruefully. "Yeah, we're... lovers." The word made him smile. Lovers. "Never said that out loud before," he explained. "Don't know if I can answer your question though. This is still pretty new. It's only been about a month now; Since spring break. A lot has happened... you probably know about my parents disowning me and the dean being my legal guardian." 

"That why you don't want to do the prank?" 

"Yeah. Hank and the others... nothing really serious would happen if they got caught. Maybe some detention or pots & pans duty and a talking to. They'd still have a home to go to. I could lose everything." 

"I didn't know." 

"Now you do." Casey shrugged and dismissed the topic. "But that's not why you're here. Look, if you're worried about what will happen between you and Ric... I don't know." Casey reached out and touched Yogurt's arm, smiling, his eyes shining brightly. "But... whatever you have to do to work things out between you... it'll be worth it." 

They sat together in companionable silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Casey was thinking about Hank's anger and Billy's reaction, adding those pieces to something he'd been trying to trying to puzzle out for a few days. It seemed as if Billy wasn't completely at ease with their relationship, as if he still didn't feel an equal part of the circle. Casey wondered if Hank's anger had anything to do with that. 

Yogurt yawned widely and gave Casey an apologetic smile. Casey slid closer to the boy and placed an arm around him, letting Yogurt rest his head on Casey's shoulder. Yogurt relaxed into the contact immediately as if he needed it, and before long his breathing slowed and he fell asleep. 

Casey eased Yogurt down onto the bed and moved away, leaning back against the headboard and hugging a pillow as he continued thinking about Billy. 

It was more than an hour later when the rest of the friends journeyed up the stairs to prepare for bed. Billy entered the room first and smiled at the sight of the two boys sound asleep. Yogurt was stretched across the foot of the bed and Casey had covered him with the spare blanket. Casey was asleep sitting up, his chin resting on the pillow he hugged tightly to his chest. 

Zeke turned and called softly to Ric. "Hey, we found a stray in here. Want to come get him?" 

Billy was ready to rouse the sleeping boy but Ric stopped him. "Let him sleep," he whispered. "I'll take him." He lifted the boy gently and carried him off to their bedroom while Zeke eased Casey flat and arranged the blankets. Tossing aside his shirt and jeans he climbed into bed. Billy closed the door and turned off the light, stripping down in the dark before sliding into the warmth of the bed. 

Casey shifted in his sleep and pressed himself against Billy, resting his head against the older boy's shoulder. Zeke laid his arm across Casey, his hand resting on Billy's chest. 

Outside the window an owl hooted and the wind rustled through the trees. Billy closed his eyes and listened until he fell asleep.


	37. Chapter 37

"Nice," Ric commented as the explored the hayloft. 

Zeke was perched on the wide window ledge looking out at the cottony clouds. He could hear Ric moving around randomly exploring the oddments scattered around the loft. The faint smell of hay lingered, mixed in with the scents of wood and oils. It was relaxing here and Zeke could imagine spending pleasant afternoons working on whatever projects captured his interest. 

They'd moved the last of the odds and ends out of the summer house into the far end of the barn where Casey would sort them out later. The sweeping and cleaning was done and it was barely mid-afternoon. Casey had decided that they'd done enough and had taken up residence on the porch, drowsing in the warm sunshine with his leg propped up and a cold soda nearby. 

Billy, Snuffy, Hank and Yogurt had decided to go exploring while Zeke had retreated to the loft to plan his workspace. Ric had wandered for a while before joining Zeke. It was clear to Zeke that the boy had something on his mind, but Zeke wasn't going to force it out of him. Ric would talk when he was ready. 

A pale figure moved idly along the treeline, stopping randomly to examine whatever caught his attention. Zeke watched him for a while, feeling Ric move closer, aware that he wasn't the only one watching Yogurt. 

"Interesting kid," Zeke commented at last, not taking his eyes off of Yogurt. The pale boy was kneeling now, almost bent double as he examined something in the grass. Ric moved closer, looking intently at the figure below. 

"Yeah." 

"What is he, a sophomore?" 

"Junior. He's got one more year at Regis." 

They lapsed into silence again watching Yogurt until the boy moved out of view. Ric stayed where he was and Zeke waited. After a while he turned and looked up at Ric. 

"A year's not that long." 

"A lot can happen," Ric countered. 

"Especially if you want it to." The comment hung between them for a while. Finally Ric sighed and moved away. Just before he reached the stairs he turned and offered a half- smile. "Zeke..." he took a few steps back towards Zeke. "You've got a good thing. You're lucky. Just... try to remember that Billy's not always as strong as he thinks he is." 

Zeke nodded seriously. "Sometimes people surprise you. Even people you think you know." 

Ric nodded once, accepting the message before retreating. Zeke returned to his ledge, staring out at the clouds and thinking. 

XXXXX 

Snuffy sneezed again, nearly running into Billy. 

"You sure you don't want to go back? Your allergies are really kicking up." 

"In a minute. I'm communing with nature." 

"Your idea of communing with nature is channel surfing past a wildlife documentary." 

"At least it doesn't make me sneeze." 

"So why are we out here wandering around listening to you sneeze?" 

"Thought you might want to take a walk." Snuffy shrugged then sneezed again. 

Billy had known Snuffy too long to fall for that. "So what you really mean is that you wanted to talk about something in private." 

"While walking." 

"Fine, so we walked, now talk." 

Snuffy sneezed again and made a show of blowing his nose and stuffing the tissue back into his pocket before continuing. It gave him a moment to review his plan. 

"Ok," he said at last. "The direct approach." Billy crossed his arms and waited impatiently. "Cali can't hurt you. Joey can't love you. They're dead. Casey and Zeke won't last without you; they're too... I don't know, intense or something. You balance them, Billy, and they balance you. If that's what works, then stop thinking about it and accept it." 

Billy frowned, his body tensing as he opened is mouth to protest. Snuffy held up his hand. 

"Don't make me do the sappy stuff, Billy. For once in your life just shut up and accept some good advice." 

They started each other down, until Billy finally laughed just a bit nervously, nodding before he looked away. 

"Good. Now let's get out of here. All this nature is creeping me out." 

Billy flung an arm around Snuffy and gave him a hug. "Too bad you're so straight, man." 

"Don't flatter yourself. Besides, you've got to leave a few good looking men for all those ladies out there." Snuffy shook his head, pretending to preen. Billy thwapped him. 

"Come on, let's go see if Casey left any snacks." 

"Those things don't have any corn oil in'em, do they? You know what's really in that stuff?" 

Billy just shook his head and started back to the house. 

XXXXX 

Casey waved to the four boys as they drove away, the battered old car raising a cloud of fine dust as it roared off down the lane. 

"Ready to go?" Billy asked as he emerged with his overnight bag. 

"Not yet," Zeke answered, following him out to the porch. He set his bag down and reached for Billy, turning him so they faced each other. He reached out for Casey and reeled the boy closer so they were together in a loose circle. He leaned in and kissed Billy, letting his tongue explore before finally moving back. 

Zeke kept his hand clenched in the fabric of Billy's shirt. He used that contact to shift Billy's attention to Casey. Casey immediately leaned in, his kiss sweeter but still demanding. 

They separated and Billy smiled, his lips shiny with moisture. He reached out to Casey and Zeke, turning them towards each other and watching as they kissed. There was tension between them, their contact intense. Billy smiled as he watched them, finally understanding some of what Snuffy had been trying to tell him. 

They were so lost in each other they didn't sense Billy's mood or see his impish grin. He attacked, latching onto Zeke's back and leaning around to give Casey a smooch. Their laughter echoed across the lawn and through the trees.


	38. Chapter 38

"You've got to be kidding." 

Billy leaned back, hands behind his head, and grinned up at Casey and Zeke. "It's perfect." 

Casey and Zeke exchanged disbelieving looks. 

"He can't be serious," Casey insisted, a note of pleading in his voice. 

"'Fraid so, Case." Zeke shrugged helplessly. 

Casey looked down at the chair, no, the thing that Billy was sitting on and shuddered. "It's very... plaid." 

"Lots of orange," Zeke added, the hint of a grin finally escaping. Casey's expression was priceless. 

The smaller boy looked around frantically. "Look, there's a brown recliner, Billy. That's nice." 

"Already tried it. It's too squishy." 

"The blue one?" 

"The fabric is scratchy." 

Casey pointed to the last recliner in the group. It was a gaudy floral print but even that wasn't as bad as the monstrosity Billy had chosen. "That one?" 

"Lumpy. Besides," Billy said with a smile, "my uncle has a chair just like this. It's great." 

Casey looked to Zeke again, knowing he'd already lost the battle, but hoping for a last minute reprieve. Zeke just shook his head and shrugged. 

Casey groaned and turned away. "I'm gonna go look at... something... over there..." 

Billy stood up reluctantly. "So, what do you really think?" 

"Doesn't matter, Billy. It's your chair. You want it, you buy it." 

"Stay here, will you? I'll go find the sales person." Zeke watched as Billy headed off happily. Across the room Casey was conspicuously not looking at the chair. As soon as Billy returned with the sales person, Zeke headed over to Casey. 

"Find anything?" 

"Not really. Not sure what we're going to need other than a new bed. I mostly wanted to see what kinds of things they had here. Thrift shops are fun, there's always different stuff." 

"I'd never been in one before, but this place is interesting." 

"There's lots of furniture here, which is good if we decide we need more stuff later." Casey turned away from the shelves of paperbacks and smiled up at Zeke. "Don't think we'll find Billy a dishwasher, though." 

"S'ok. He's got his prize for today." 

Casey glanced over at the chair and winced as the sales person put a sold sign on it. Billy trotted towards them grinning. 

"They'll hold the chair til I can get Ric's truck, then I can take it right to the house." He looked around eagerly. "I'm gonna go check out the rest of this place." 

Casey and Zeke watched him go, then exchanged uneasy looks. 

XXXXX 

"You OK?" Billy asked as Casey declined the invitation to order Chinese take out with Snuffy, Hank, Yogurt and Ric. 

"Yeah, just not hungry. Besides, I want to work ahead on some homework so I won't have to do it over the weekend." 

"Well, come over if you need a break. Snuffy's been reading the tabloids again so it'll be interesting." 

"Okay, thanks Billy." Casey watched until the door closed and then he set aside his textbook and laid back on the bed. Zeke had gone out and it was quiet in the room. 

It was a cloudy day and Casey stared out the window for a while, just letting his mind wander. Muffled laughter from across the hall startled him. 

With a sigh he gathered his camera and headed off to take some pictures. He needed to get out for a while and just be alone. He still wasn't used to spending so much of his time with other people and sometimes he longed for solitude. 

It was a bit chilly and he half-considered going back for a jacket, but the thought of possibly hearing or seeing the group decided it. He set off for the trees, looking around for interesting shapes and shadows. 

He rested against the trunk of a large tree, wishing he could climb it, ascending into a private world where only light, texture and shape mattered and there was no emotion demanding to be dealt with. 

It was Hank, he finally admitted to himself. Hank's words at the house on Saturday night only confirmed what Casey had suspected for a while; Hank didn't like him. Casey thought it was jealousy at first, but had dismissed that right away; Hank was straight. But... he sighed and reconsidered, you could be jealous over friends as easily as lovers. Maybe Hank thought Casey was trying to take Billy away. 

If it didn't hurt, Casey might find it funny - imagine anyone being jealous of him. 

The sky was darkening but Casey barely noticed as he reviewed the events of Saturday night. Hank had barely spoken to him since then and although he'd offered an apology, Casey could see in his eyes that it wasn't really sincere. 

It started to rain and Casey shivered, putting other thoughts aside as he considered whether to head back to the dorm now or wait and see if the rain stopped. A few minutes later the steady rain changed to a downpour. 

With a sigh, Casey slipped off his cotton overshirt and wrapped it around his camera. He crossed the grounds as fast as he could on his cast, sweating with the exertion. By the time he reached the dorm he was soaked through but he couldn't bring himself to go back to the room. Instead, he headed off to the darkroom. 

He was dry by the time he returned to the room, but his head was stuffy and he was tired. He prepared for bed with a minimum of conversation and fell asleep almost immediately. 

XXXXX 

Zeke woke with a start, peering into the middle of the night gloom and letting himself drift back towards sleep. He was almost there when he finally realized what was wrong. 

Turning his head, he could see Billy's profile where the boy lay nearby. His mouth was open slightly and his hair was rumpled and spiky. They'd moved together in the night, closing the space that had been filled by Casey when they'd gone to bed. 

A muffled sneeze and a sniffle drew Zeke's attention and he sat up, looking towards the corner of the room by the closet. He could just make out the form of a huddled figure. 

Sliding out of bed, Zeke crossed the room carefully, trying not to step on anything. They really ought to straighten this place up a little, the piles of dirty laundry were getting out of hand. 

He could feel Casey watching him and smiled. He reached out to him, sliding one hand along Casey's arm upwards then skating over fabric until he was caressing Casey's face. 

"Can't sleep?" 

Casey shook his head, then sneezed again. 

Zeke frowned and placed the back of his hand against Casey's forehead. "You're hot." 

Casey laughed softly. "You're not so bad yourself." 

"Ha, ha, Case. I think you've got a fever. How are you feeling?" 

"I'm OK, just stuffed up. Got caught in the rain last night." 

"Well come back to bed and get warm before you get worse." 

"No, I'd better stay here. Don't want to contaminate everybody." 

"We'll take our chances. Come on. You can sleep on the outside so you don't breathe on anybody." He pulled Casey gently to his feet and guided him to the bed. Zeke lay down on his side and pulled Casey down to rest in his arms. They spooned together until they finally fell asleep. 

XXXXX 

"I'm going," Casey insisted stubbornly, crossing his arms and looking like a petulant five-year-old. Zeke just sighed and turned away. 

"Fine. Don't complain to me when you feel even worse later." 

"I've got a test, Zeke. I can't miss it." Casey tried to explain, wanting them to understand that he wasn't just being stubborn. He didn't want anyone thinking he was weak or would give in just because he didn't feel well. "I'll come back and take a nap right after class," he offered. 

"So I shouldn't plan on teaching myself to play drums or anything this afternoon?" Zeke teased, moving closer and leaning down to nip at Casey's ear. 

"Maybe after Carson. Don't forget it's headshrink day." 

"Oh, boy," Zeke said sarcastically, gathering up his books. "Tests, a speech and Carson all jam packed into one day. Do we know how to have fun or what?" 

"I'd go with 'or what'," Casey stated, trailing Zeke out of the room. Hank was already in the hall but he brushed past Casey and Zeke without acknowledging them. 

"Morning to you, too, Hank," Zeke called after him sweetly, giving Casey a smile. Casey sneezed. 

XXXXX 

Dr. Carson leaned back in her chair and tried not to sigh. Casey was sitting across the room, having chosen the chair farthest from her instead of his usual place. Whether intentional or not, it let the doctor know that he hadn't forgiven her for their last group session. 

She tapped her pencil against a fingernail and studied Casey openly, not pretending to be doing anything else. He shifted uncomfortably and fumbled for a tissue before blowing his nose and sniffling. 

"That's some cold," she said sympathetically when he threw the tissue away and finally looked up. He didn't answer so she let the silence stretch between them for a while, trying to decide if it was the cold that had Casey looking so unhappy of if there was something else... 

"Can I go?" Casey finally asked. There was a hint of pleading in his voice that gave him away. There was something other than the cold and the last session bothering him. 

"You've only been here seven minutes, Casey. Why are you in a hurry?" 

"I... I don't feel well," he offered clumsily, sniffling as if to prove his statement. 

"You should have some soup for supper tonight." 

"I don't like soup." 

"Not even wonton?" 

"Well, that's not too bad, once in a while." 

"Bet you don't like the soup at school." 

"No, it's terrible. Especially the chicken noodle. Didn't think you could mess that up." 

"It's easy to mess things up, Casey. Even easy things." Dr Carson watched carefully as she continued talking. "Especially when friends are involved." Casey flinched and she knew her guess had been correct. "There something happening at school you want to talk about?" 

Casey started to shake his head, then thought better of it. His hands were clutching at each other in his lap and she could tell even from all the way across the room that if he had any fingernails, they'd be digging painfully into his skin. 

"It's one of Billy's friends," Casey admitted slowly. Every word hurt, but he knew he'd feel better once he admitted what had been bothering him. "He's OK but he doesn't like me. I should be used to that," he hunched down in his seat. "Right? I mean, lots of people don't like me. Called me names, used to beat me up. I shouldn't let it bother me." 

"Why wouldn't it bother you, Casey? No one wants to be disliked." 

"But it shouldn't matter, right? What other people think; only matters what I think about myself." He looked at her and there was bitterness in every line of his face. "Isn't that what you people want all us poor pathetic losers to believe?" 

Dr. Carson stood up, crossing the floor quickly, but not aggressively. She sat in the chair next to Casey and reached out to touch his arm. He flinched away from her and she calmly withdrew her hand, keeping her expression mild. 

"Casey, you've got to stop watching television. I'm not here to spout platitudes at you; this isn't sound bite psychotherapy. Of course what other people think of us is important. The trick is to trust yourself enough to do what is best for you in spite of what other people think." 

Carson smiled and leaned back. "Last session when I confronted you, Casey. You, Billy and Zeke stood together. You all believed that reassuring each other was more important than what I might think of your actions. That's what I'm talking about. Understand?" 

Casey nodded slowly, some of the tension easing out of his face. 

"So here's a suggestion," Carson offered, leaning over and snagging the candy dish from a side table and putting it down closer to Casey. "Try to talk to whoever it is. Just the two of you. No big speeches or anything, just let him know that you've got at least one thing in common, and you don't have to fight over it. Then leave it up to him to decide what to do. Okay?" 

Casey nodded, then turned his head away and blew his nose. He mumbled an apology. 

"You look kind of wiped out, Casey. Why don't you go lie down in the waiting room while I pick on Billy for a while." 

Casey nodded and stood up. He was about to leave when the doctor stopped him. "Aren't you forgetting something?" she asked, holding out the candy dish. "Take some for Billy and Zeke too," she suggested with a grin, "they're too shy to take any for themselves." 

Casey picked out several candies, smiling his thanks. He managed to get to the waiting room before sneezing again.


	39. Chapter 39

"What's his problem?" Hank demanded, gesturing at Casey who stood some distance away, pressed against the wall, an armload of textbooks held tightly against his chest. 

"Nothing," Snuffy said casually, grabbing Hank's arm and trying to turn him towards the door to the cafeteria. "Come on, the mystery meat'll get cold." 

"No," Hank pulled away and took a step towards Casey. "I asked what your problem is, Connor." 

"Hank," Snuffy tried to intervene again but Hank brushed him aside and took another step. Casey slid back along the wall, trying to put some distance between them, his expression wary. 

"Come on, Connor. I know you can use that clever mouth or Billy wouldn't spend so much time with you. Of course, it's not your conversation that he likes so much, now is it?" 

Hank ignored Snuffy's protests, moving closer to Casey, his large form threatening as he closed in on the smaller boy. Casey looked up at him, wide-eyed and pale, speechless with shock at this sudden change in behavior. Hank had never been a close friend, but they had gotten alone ok until that night at the farmhouse. Since then Casey had tried his best to stay away from him. 

"What do you want, Hank?" he managed to ask, his voice barely above a whisper. He kept his eyes focused on Hank's face, but didn't look into his eyes, afraid that Hank would take it as a challenge. He wanted to either fix whatever was wrong or at least end this confrontation, for Billy's sake as well as his own. 

By now there was a crowd gathering, waiting to see if there would be a fight. Casey tried to ignore them and concentrate only on keeping himself calm. He could do this, he didn't need someone to bail him out this time. 

Hank caught Casey's shoulders and slammed him back against the wall. Casey gasped and tightened his grip on his books. Hank was leaning in close enough that Casey could tell he hadn't brushed his teeth since eating breakfast. 

Words were flowing, cruel, hateful words spoken so that only Casey could hear them. He couldn't stop himself from turning his head away, desperately wanting the torrent to stop. It hurt so much more than the beatings he used to get at his old school. At least that pain would fade... 

"I said, stop it!" Snuffy shouted, grabbing Hank with more strength than Casey would have imagined he possessed. Snuffy was shouting into Hank's face, diverting his attention and Casey managed to slide farther away, out of Hank's reach. He could feel the eyes of the other students watching him and it made him feel sick. 

Somehow Snuffy was dragging Hank away and the other boys were starting to move as well. Casey remained pressed against the wall, trying not to hear the comments and laughter. He caught one last glimpse of Snuffy before he and Hank disappeared into the cafeteria. Snuffy was looking at him and his expression was apologetic. 

Casey leaned against the wall for another moment before heading off in the opposite direction. He had no intention of walking into the cafeteria while Hank was in there. Question was: how was he going to avoid the boy from now until graduation, especially when he was Billy's friend. 

Sick at heart, Casey started the long journey to the darkroom, needing time alone. 

XXXXX 

He woke up feeling groggy and disoriented, his head stuffy and his throat painfully sore. It took him a few seconds to realize where he was; curled up on a chair in the darkroom. It took even longer to remember why. 

Hank. 

He peered at his watch, dismayed to find that he'd slept most of the afternoon away and it was nearly suppertime. He'd missed his afternoon class and didn't doubt that Zeke and Billy would be annoyed or even angry at him for disappearing without telling them where he was headed. He just hoped the dean wouldn't find out and be angry as well, it would be nice to have one person who wasn't upset with him. 

He rose slowly, trying to ease the stiffness out of his body, and moved efficiently around the room, straightening it. He had been cleaning the darkroom rather than developing photos so at least he hadn't ruined anything by falling asleep. With a final look to make sure the room was tidy, he reluctantly headed towards the door. 

"Casey." 

"Dean Parker," Casey replied, startled to find the man sitting on the steps, apparently waiting for him. "What are you doing here?" 

"Your teachers might ask you the same question, Mr. Connor." 

"I'm sorry, sir. I came down here at lunchtime to straighten up but I fell asleep." 

"You must have been tired to sleep away the afternoon in there, Mr. Connor. I don't imagine it's very comfortable." 

"No, sir. I'm sorry." 

"Have you been to the school nurse for that cold, Mr. Connor?" 

"No, sir. I mean, I intended to, but..." 

"You fell asleep." 

"Yes, sir." 

The dean sighed and stood up slowly, taking a step towards the miserable teen. It might have been a trick of the poor lighting down here, but Casey looked terrible. 

"Casey, I'm going to overlook your missing class if," he paused and gave Casey a stern look. "And only if you report to the nurse immediately." He took another step closer and reached out to Casey, placing a hand on his arm. "You need to get better." 

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." 

"And Casey," the dean made sure he had Casey's full attention before continuing. "If anything is troubling you. Anything. I want to you know that you can talk to me about it. I'm not Dr Carson, but I'll do what I can to help." 

Casey swallowed hard against the sudden lump in his throat and nodded, unable to form words. Obediently he followed the dean up the stairs and headed off to the nurse's office. 

XXXXX 

"It's got to stop, Billy." Zeke's voice was carefully controlled but Billy knew he was furious. His body was tense, ready to strike out, aching to extract payment in pain from somebody, anybody. 

"I don't have any control over it, Zeke. Look, Hank's my friend. I've known him a lot longer than I've known you. I'm not just going to blow him off. There's got to be a reason behind what happened today. The least I can do is hear his side of things." 

Zeke half-growled and turned away. "I don't give a damn what he is, Tepper. If he pulls anything like he did today; if he does or says anything like that ever again to Casey..." Zeke turned to face Billy and there was cold resolve in his eyes. "I will make him sorry." 

"Oh, big threats, Zeke. Save it for the drama department. We weren't there, we didn't see what happened. I'm not going to accuse my friend of anything until I know what really happened." 

"While you're over there playing nice maybe you can ask your *friend* what he did to your *lover* considering no one has seen Casey since their little talk outside the cafeteria." 

Billy's control snapped and he lunged forward, fist already moving to strike. He'd been aching to do this for days, maybe even weeks now. Didn't matter that they were lovers, didn't matter that they shared a bed almost every night. Zeke had been begging for this ever since he showed up that Saturday afternoon when Casey fell out of the tree. 

The feel of fist on face was satisfyingly real and Billy almost laughed when Zeke returned the favor. The pain felt far off and Billy barely noticed it as he tried to land another punch. 

They were too close for really good punching now, and had switched to almost-wrestling without conscious thought. It was just act and react, the only thing that mattered was the rage. 

Items were knocked off of desks and dressers as they fought, the sounds of impact providing an irregular rhythm for their movements. Beyond the door was the sound of hallmates gathering, talking with raised voices, debating whether to open the door or not. 

Something distant was heard, almost a hum or a buzz, building like the music in a dramatic movie scene. Neither Billy nor Zeke could pull themselves from their rage to acknowledge it although they both knew it would be bad. Terrible. 

Casey. 

He stood in the doorway, watching, horrified, his mouth open but no words coming out. Breathing quickening, face flushed, he ignored the jostling of the boys behind him all vying for a view of the carnage. An accidental elbow caught Casey in the ribs and jolted him out of his shocked silence. 

"Stop it!" 

He waded into the fray, an edge of hysteria in his voice as he tried to intervene. He grabbed the first body part he came in contact with - Billy's arm - and held on tight, trying to make him stop. Instead, a solid punch went astray and sent Casey backwards into a dresser, his body colliding painfully before he lost his balance slid sideways, landing hard on the floor. 

There should have been a moment of stunned silence, followed instantly by regrets and self-recriminations. Like the movies. Instead, Casey was all but ignored as Zeke and Billy continued fighting each other. Casey felt anger of his own, furious at the stupidity he was witnessing. 

He dragged himself up, ignoring the pain, waving off Snuffy and the others who were willing to help, wanting to laugh at those who were only there for the show. None of that was important. What mattered was destructing right in front of him. 

Casey had never hit anyone before, not like this, wanting to inflict pain. He lashed out blindly. In that moment he hated his lovers so intensely he could feel the blackness of rage consuming him. There was nothing rational left, no inner voice to urge caution or question his actions. There was only pain and anger and despair so profound it was drowning him. 

It took the combined efforts of Snuffy and Ricardo to pull him off of Billy and Zeke. They dragged him to Snuffy's room and tossed him onto the bed, leaving Snuffy to try and calm Casey while Ric went back to help separate Billy and Zeke. 

Casey was out of his head, trying to get past Snuffy to return to the fight. He wasn't throwing punches, but he used bony elbows and knees to try and get free. Snuffy quickly decided he'd had enough and dragged Casey roughly across the room and shoved him in the closet, slamming and locking the door. 

The change was almost immediate. Casey assaulted the door with almost desperate strength, his screams changing from angry to frantic before quickly fading to silence. The strangeness of Casey's behavior unnerved Snuffy and he reached for the doorknob, anxious to release him from the closet. Billy's angry voice stopped him; better to keep Casey where he was until things calmed down. 

Stepping into the hall, Snuffy saw that Hank and Ric had managed to separate Zeke and Billy and the crowd was dispersing. Billy and Hank were headed towards Hank's room while Zeke and Ric were amid the ruins of Zeke's room. 

Returning to his own room Snuffy called through the closet door, letting Casey know he was going to let him out. He was appalled to find Casey huddled on the closet floor, pale face already revealing an angry bruise and bleeding lip. Casey's eyes were haunted and he flinched away from the hand that Snuffy held out to him. 

Snuffy backed away and watched as Casey struggled to his feet. Moving like a wary, wounded animal, Casey made his way across the room, not looking at Snuffy. He stopped suddenly in the doorway and turned, completely lost. His eyes swept the room as if grasping for something, anything that would make sense of what had just happened. Finding nothing, he turned again, leaving the room and turning away from his roommates. It wasn't until he was gone that Snuffy realized what had been bothering him - there had been blood on Casey's wrist.


	40. Chapter 40

Yogurt tapped at the darkroom door uncertainly. He'd somehow ended up being the one "volunteered" to come talk to Casey. Now he was here and had no idea what he might say. 

He'd been in Ric's room studying when the fight broke out, and he had a bad feeling about the underlying cause of it. Hank seemed to be going out of his way to stir up trouble between Billy, Zeke and Casey since the incident at the farmhouse. Didn't make any sense, as Hank was always the one going on about not letting anyone cause trouble because of the trio's relationship. 

Yogurt knocked again, calling out for Casey and identifying himself. He leaned close to the door and listened carefully for sounds of movement. 

Nothing. 

Cautiously he tried the door, surprised to find it unlocked. He eased it open, calling softly for Casey. He wrinkled his nose at the chemical smell and hoped that there weren't any photos being developed at the moment. 

The room was completely black and he ran his hand along the wall searching for the light switch. Flipping it on, a red glow filled the room, adding to Yogurt's unease. 

"Casey?" 

"Go away." 

There, in the corner, the light tinting his skin a stomach-turning shade of red, sat Casey Connor. He held a bottle of chemicals in his hands and seemed to be studying it. There was an odd discoloration high on one cheekbone and his face seemed wrong, out of alignment somehow. 

Yogurt took another step closer, mouth open to say something, anything. Casey stopped him with a look. 

"If you've come to pound some sense into me, you're too late." 

"I just... I wanted to see if you were OK." 

Casey laughed, a sharp, odd sound that seemed to echo off the walls. "I'm fine," he insisted, hurling the plastic bottle against the opposite wall and watching as it impacted, landed and rolled without breaking. "Just great." 

Yogurt stood still, not a clue as to what he should do now. He didn't really want to leave Casey alone, but he didn't want to risk making him mad, either. Reluctantly he turned, ready to leave, then hesitated and turned back. 

"You could stay with me, if you wanted. You know, just for a change. There's already an extra bed and I won't bother you or anything. It's warmer there at least." 

He offered Casey a wavery smile and was surprised when Casey didn't reject his offer or send him away. Instead, Casey just looked at him, as if he needed to find answers to unasked questions. Yogurt tried to remain still, tried not to react, tried to be patient while Casey searched for whatever it was he needed to find. 

He didn't offer Casey a hand up, or steady him when he tried to walk on legs stiff from sitting still for too long. He just waited, letting Casey lead, trailing him on the slow ascent out of the basement and down long hallways to Yogurt's room. 

Yogurt preceded Casey into the room hoping that it wasn't too much of a mess. His roommate had transferred after the terrorist attack and somehow stuff managed to spread out to take over all the empty space. Luckily he'd just done the laundry so the room wasn't too bad at the moment. 

He motioned Casey towards the bed closest to the door. "You can take that one." He hesitated, then continued. "Do you want me to get anything for you? From your room?" 

"Thanks, but no. I'd better head up there and see what's up. I will take you up on the offer of crash space later, though." Casey straightened and Yogurt noticed how ill and exhausted the older boy looked; that terrible bruise making him appear more pale. Most disturbing was the dried bloodstain on his wrist. 

XXXXX 

"At least talk to him," Snuffy urged, standing in the doorway and watching Billy pace across Hank's room. Hank leaned back in his desk chair and said nothing. 

"What exactly do you expect me to say?" Billy demanded, pausing only long enough to give Snuffy an angry glance before resuming his pacing. 

"You could apologize." 

Billy snorted dismissively. "Him first." 

"Grow up." Snuffy snapped, reaching the end of his patience. "There's too much as stake to behave like a spoiled brat." 

"Why does he have to be the one to apologize?" Hank asked coldly. "Why not Zeke or Casey?" 

"Why don't you stay out of this, Hank," Snuffy ground out. 

"Why don't you?" Billy retorted. He pressed the ice pack against his jaw and glowered. 

"Unbelievable," Snuffy declared, throwing up his hands in surrender. "You have something that most people only dream of and now you're going to screw it up. For what?" He threw an angry look at Hank before focusing on Billy again. "You'd damn well better be sure what you're doing before you throw it all away." 

Billy watched as Snuffy turned and marched out, slamming the door behind him. He'd never seen his friend so angry. 

"Sounds like he's switched sides." Hank said, his voice sweet but his words poisonous. "Better watch your back, man." He stood up and threw an arm around Billy. "Come on, let's get out of here for a while. We've got an couple hours til curfew. Some air'll do you good." 

Billy nodded, setting the ice pack down. He really did need to get out of here for a while; it felt like the walls were closing in. 

XXXXX 

Casey felt like an idiot, knocking on door to his own room, but he didn't want to just walk in right now. After waiting almost a minute and getting no answer, he cautiously opened the door. Turning on the light, he blinked in surprise. The room had been straightened, items returned to desks and dresser tops. The piles of laundry were gone and the beds were made, except for Zeke's. 

Zeke lay on his bed, curled up on his side, facing away from the door. Casey couldn't tell if he was sleeping, so he said his name softly, so as not to startle him. 

No response, so Casey tiptoed past, intending to gather a change of clothes and his toiletries. He was stuffing everything into a bag when he heard Zeke turn over. 

"Case?" 

"Go back to sleep. I'm staying with Yogurt tonight." 

Zeke didn't protest or ask questions, he just rose slowly from the bed and walked over, his eyes infinitely sad. He reached out to Casey, his hand stopping just short of touching. 

Casey leaned in, completing the connection. He wanted to say it would be OK, that everything would be better in the morning, that nothing had changed. The words weren't there. He reached up to touch Zeke's swollen lip, hoping that contact would convey what he desperately needed to say. 

He flinched when Zeke caught his wrist, turning it to examine the dried blood. He wanted to look away, not wanting to see the accusation in Zeke's eyes. Instead, he saw only sorrow. Casey swallowed hard and shook his head. 

"Accident." he whispered, straining for even that. "I kept my promise." 

Zeke half-collapsed against him, holding on as if he were drowning. Casey could feel tremors in his lover's body and he felt as if he couldn't get enough air. His head felt light and his vision wavered. He closed his eyes and just held on, trying to give Zeke everything he had left.


	41. Chapter 41

"Want me to bring you something from the cafeteria?" 

"No thanks, you go ahead. I'll get something after class." Casey managed a smile and waved Yogurt on. The younger boy hesitated for a moment, then gathered up his books and headed off to breakfast. 

Casey waited until the door closed before dropping back onto the pillow. Ow. He felt like he'd been run over by a truck. A big truck. His head was stuffy and throbbing in time with the bruise on his face. His back hurt and so did his wrist where he'd caught it against something in Snuffy's closet. Oddly enough, the only thing that didn't hurt at the moment was his broken leg. 

Casey hadn't slept very well last night, knowing as soon as he'd laid down on the unfamiliar bed that he'd made a mistake; he should have stayed with Zeke. At least then they could have held each other for a while. No, he reminded himself, it had been necessary. They needed a little time apart after that terrible fight, needed time to work things out without sex getting in the way. 

He rolled onto his side and winced, reaching out for his watch. He'd better get moving if he was going to make it to class on time. 

XXXXX 

"Case," Zeke greeted him mildly as they waited for class to start. The taller boy was slouched in his seat, book open and pen tapping idly against the page. His lip was still swollen and there was some discoloration along the left side of his jaw and on the knuckles of his right hand. 

"Zeke," Casey replied stiffly, trying not to move his head too much. 

"Did the dean catch up with you yet?" 

"Yeah. Doesn't take news long to travel in this place. Punishment at 11. Wonder if we'll get the rack?" 

"Probably worse." Zeke managed a faint grin, reaching out and dropping a candy on Casey's desk. "Have some breakfast." 

"Thanks," Casey said gratefully, unwrapping the lemon drop and popping it on his mouth. Maybe it would soothe his sore throat. 

"Seen Billy today?" 

"Not yet. I figure he'll be there for the beheading, though." 

"Yeah." Zeke and Casey shared a look. For the first time ever, they weren't in a hurry for Sorens' class to end. 

XXXXX 

Why didn't I take an aspirin when I had the chance? Dean Parker wondered, regarding the sullen group of boys filling up his office. He'd decided to interview them all together rather than separately, hoping that hearing other perspectives might give them all a better understanding of what was at the root of all the discord. 

The significance of the seating arrangements weren't lost on him, nor were the looks exchanged between some of the boys. Casey and Zeke were next to each other, as expected, but Billy had taken the seat farthest away from that pair, and Hank sat beside him. Snuffy was in the middle with Ricardo and Yogurt, the three of them looking very unhappy. 

He'd listened to each person's description of the fight and then prodded for information on the incident between Casey and Hank outside the cafeteria. It was clear that it had been one cause of the fight, but he suspected there were many other factors, some of which the boys probably weren't even aware of. The question was, what was the proper punishment? This wasn't the usual breaking the rules or challenging authority; there was much more at stake here. 

Standing, the dean looked hard at each boy before dismissing Snuffy, Ricardo and Yogurt. Once they were gone and the door was closed, he turned his attention to Casey. This would be the hardest punishment of the four. Casey hadn't been responsible for either incident, but the dean didn't think letting him off without punishment would do anything to help this situation. 

"Mr. Connor, while I am aware that you did not start either incident, I still find it necessary to respond to your recent behavior. As such, I am revoking your darkroom privileges for a period of one week. At that time we will meet again to decide if an extension is necessary." The dean steeled himself against the devastation on the teen's face and held out his hand. "The keys, Mr. Connor." 

Jaw set, Casey slowly extracted the keys from his pocket and surrendered them to the dean's outstretched hand. As soon as they were gone, Casey seemed to deflate. He slumped back in the chair and looked down at the floor. 

"Mr. Tepper, I believe you are familiar with your punishment." 

Billy nodded. "Pots and pans." 

"Correct. For the next month, Mr. Tepper. Every meal." 

He looked from Hank to Zeke and back. "You gentlemen will spend the next month assisting in the laundry. You will report there at six a.m. every day, and return after class, remaining until the work is complete." 

The dean surveyed the range of emotions on display; Casey's hurt, Zeke's mixture of protest and acceptance, Billy's resignation and Hank's anger. Now for the rest of it. 

"In addition, gentlemen. You are confined to campus for the next two weeks, including weekends. For those of you with appointments, I will be escorting you for the duration of this punishment. Is that clear?" 

Four heads nodded unhappily. 

"Allow me to remind you gentlemen that graduation is less than two months away. Another incident like this and you may find yourself spending another year here at Regis. Do I make myself clear?" 

The group nodded. 

"Dismissed." 

When the door closed and the dean was alone, he looked down at the keys in his hand and sighed. He really did need an aspirin.


	42. Chapter 42

"Casey's driving me crazy," Yogurt admitted, giving Ric an apologetic look. Snuffy and Ric nodded in complete understanding. 

"He's not the only one." Ric added. 

"It doesn't help that Billy is spending all his time with Hank." Yogurt added. 

"What's Hank's problem with Casey, anyway? First he ignores him, then he's all protective, now he treats him like dirt." Ric looked to Snuffy for answers. Snuffy shrugged. 

"I don't get it either. Billy's not helping matters. He's been really nasty to Zeke the last few days, and he's barely civil to Casey." 

"Billy's pretty mad about getting stuck with pots and pans. I heard him talking to Hank about it last night. Sounded like Hank has been giving Zeke a hard time in the laundry too." 

"Casey's avoiding both of them," Yogurt admitted. "He's been sick for the last few days. Just goes to class then comes back to the room and sleeps. I don't think he's been eating much, and he wanders around most of the night, or sits staring out the window. He can't help it, but it keeps me awake." 

"Maybe you should crash with me for a few days," Ric offered. 

Snuffy tried not to flinch. Just what they needed, another teen-angst romance. What was this, "Days of our Lives"? 

"Thanks, but it's probably better if I don't. Things are mixed up enough right now. Wouldn't want to add to the confusion." Yogurt said it quietly, regret heavy in his voice and Ric nodded, equally regretful. 

"So," Snuffy changed the subject quickly, "how do we fix this mess?" 

"Do we even try?" Ric countered. "Shouldn't we just let them handle it?" 

"We could," Snuffy agreed, "or we could help just a little." He grinned, unable to resist adding, I've always wanted to be a fairy godmother." 

Ric and Yogurt leaned against each other and groaned. 

XXXXX 

"Watch it," Zeke snapped when Hank bumped into him for the third time. 

"Sorry," Hank replied, sounding anything but apologetic. 

"What is your problem, anyway? You got what you wanted." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hank demanded, dropping the pile of soiled linens on the sorting table and turning towards Zeke. He'd been sullen and angry every minute that he'd been forced to spend with Zeke since the punishment started. 

"Exactly what it sounds like," Zeke replied coolly, giving Hank a look of disinterest. "You saved Billy from the evil perverts and got him all for yourself. Problem is, he's not your type." Zeke leaned casually against the table and gave Hank an assessing look. "Unless you haven't been completely *straight* with us, Hank." 

"I'm not a parasite like you, Tyler." 

"I know a thing or two about parasites." Zeke took a step closer and looked down at the other boy. "They're smart, and they know what they want. They're nothing like you, Hank, so pathetic and scared." 

Hank's wild swing was stopped in mid arc. He turned, surprised to find Ric holding his arm. "Let go of me." 

"Not til you get a grip. You really wanna blow graduation for this?" After a long moment Hank shook his head and Ric let him go. Before Hank could say anything to set things off again, Ric shoved an envelope at him, then gave one to Zeke. He turned and marched off without another word. 

Hank tossed the envelope aside, unopened and went back to the laundry, muttering under his breath. Zeke opened his, extracting the handwritten note and scanning it. Without a word he tucked the note back into the envelope and slid it into his pocket before returning to his chore. 

XXXXX 

"Come on," Ric insisted, grabbing Casey's hand and pulling him upright. Casey clutched at the blanket and tried to get loose so he could lie down again. 

"Pizza," Yogurt chanted, trying to entice the miserable boy. He was still stuffed up and looked feverish. The school nurse had given him cold medicine, but it didn't seem to be helping. 

They badgered him until he surrendered. "All right, all right. Sheesh." Casey dragged himself upright, then reached over and snagged a tissue, snurfling miserably. 

Snuffy and Zeke were waiting when Yogurt and Ric escorted Casey into the room. They'd commandeered a student lounge and had food, drinks and a really bad movie all ready to go. Now they just needed to get Billy and Hank here. Hopefully, by the end of the evening they'd at least remember that they were friends. 

XXXXX 

"Not this," Billy groaned, flopping down, face first, and hiding his eyes. "I lived through it once already." 

The opening credits of "The Willies" continued relentlessly and Billy kept groaning, kicking his feet in a mock tantrum. Snuffy bounced a piece of popcorn off his head. 

Things went downhill from there. Billy started making snarky comments about the movie and before long Ric and Yogurt had joined in. Snuffy went along good-naturedly and even Hank, Casey and Zeke relaxed enough to laugh at some of the comments. 

They'd wiped out the pizza and most of the snacks by the end of the movie, but Snuffy calmly produced two more bags of chips and a deck of cards from a grocery bag beside the sofa. 

"Dealer's choice, gentlemen. Our usual game with a slight twist. Winner gets either a kiss or an article of clothing from one of the losers. Dealer picks which loser and the prize by drawing names. Game ends when someone is down to their boxers." 

Zeke, Casey and Hank protested, refusing to play. 

"Too late," Snuffy told them. "The cards are dealt. You're in. Besides," he smiled, "you read the invitation. As soon as you walked through the door you agreed to cooperate and participate. That means you're playing." Snuffy calmly waited while Zeke and Hank each tried to stare him down. It didn't phase him a bit; compared to his parents, they were amateurs. 

Zeke and Hank grumbled a bit, but they were bored and had nothing better to do and neither on wanted to spend their Saturday night alone in their room. Besides, Snuffy might have some strange quirks, but they knew they could trust him. Once Zeke took his seat, Casey followed without a word. Hank hesitated for another minute before shrugging and joining the group. 

It was a quiet game, the tension increasing as first Yogurt, then Casey folded. Ric withdrew, then Snuffy, leaving Billy, Zeke and Hank locked in a deadly earnest battle. 

Unable to stand it, Casey got up and walked away from the table. Another round and Billy folded, throwing his cards down in disgust. Zeke upped the ante with a smirk. Hank called. 

"Yes!" Hank exulted, scooping up the pile of corn chips they were using to play. 

"Now let's see who the lucky loser is," Snuffy made a show of reaching into the bag without looking. Withdrawing a piece of paper, he opened it and smiled. Turning it towards the group he recited the words. "Ric gets a kiss." 

Hank and Ric regarded each other warily, grumbling a little until Snuffy rolled his eyes and said, "You don't have to swallow each other's tongues, guys. Just a quick kiss and we get to play another round." 

Rolling his eyes, Ric leaned forward and kissed Hank lightly on the lips. They broke apart quickly and laughed a bit awkwardly. 

"Finally," Snuffy teased. He handed the cards to Ric. "Your turn. Do your worst." A minute later he scowled at his awful hand. "I didn't mean that literally, Ric." 

"Stop complaining and play. Come on, Casey, get over here so we can open the bidding." 

Casey returned to the table, wishing that he were sitting next to Zeke rather than sandwiched between Ric and Yogurt. Billy was across from him but he tried not to look directly at him. He really didn't want to play, but he didn't want to go back to Yogurt's room alone either. At least he was close to Zeke here and no one was saying hateful things. He'd just have to make sure to stay away from Hank. 

Billy won the round and got Yogurt's socks as a prize. Magnanimously, he declined to keep the items. 

Ric won a kiss from Zeke on the next hand, and Zeke got Snuffy's shirt for the round after that. Snuffy, Ric and Yogurt were goofing around with it, making everyone laugh, easing the tension at last. 

Billy won a kiss from Hank and there was a moment of awkwardness as they approached each other. Where the other kisses had been in fun, this one had an undercurrent of something needy, almost desperate. They pressed together seconds longer than necessary and when they pulled apart there was a distinct air of discomfort between them. 

Snuffy broke the tension by digging into the grocery bag and extracting a bag of doublestuff Oreos. "Sugar break." 

Things calmed down again, although Billy didn't sit next to Hank. Yogurt took a how-to-eat-oreos survey that led the conversation in directions no one expected so it was awhile before the poker game resumed. 

"Okay, we've got less than an hour til curfew so let's get moving. I want to see who's going to win this thing." Snuffy looked down at his small pile of chips. "Since it won't be me." 

Finally a round went to Casey. He looked less than thrilled that he'd have to stay in the game. His prize of a kiss from Billy didn't cheer him up either. He accepted the contact warily and stepped back quickly afterwards, earning more than one curious look from the others in the room. Blushing, he turned away from Billy's gaze. 

"Gotta make this fast. Don't want the dean to catch us breaking curfew," Snuffy reminded them, already dealing out the cards. 

Hank took the final round and he looked very satisfied with himself until Snuffy drew out the slip of paper with Casey's name. 

"No way," Zeke protested, reaching out to Casey. 

"Zeke, don't," Casey pleaded. He rose slowly and went to Hank, closing his eyes against the gloating look he saw Hank giving Zeke. 

Hank's hands were on Casey's arms, holding him in place and his mouth descended, crushing, taking, possessing. 

Casey pulled away, looking up into eyes full of triumph. It shook him and he stumbled backwards into Zeke who steadied him, one arm wrapping protectively around the smaller boy. 

The air was thick with so many different emotions that Casey couldn't sort them out. Instead, he slipped quietly away from Zeke and retrieved the shirt he'd had to remove after losing one of the rounds. 

All he wanted to do was leave. He felt strange and dirty and he wanted away from Zeke's protectiveness and Billy's hurtful indifference. He physically ached with the need to go to the darkroom and for just a second tears threatened. He pressed them back mercilessly and turned, thanking Snuffy in a quiet voice and walking away before anyone could stop him. 

Hank watched Casey leave, unable to hide his smile. He was unaware of Zeke's scrutiny, turning to Billy and making an inane comment. Billy gave him a disgusted look. Hank felt himself tensing again. 

"Move it people," Snuffy chided, gathering up the last of the trash and stuffing it into the wastebasket. Ric and Yogurt grabbed the cards, leftover food and forgotten items and hurried out of the room. Billy waited for Snuffy and they walked out together leaving Zeke and Hank alone. 

Without warning, Zeke grabbed Hank and pressed him against the wall, pinning him hard before taking his mouth in a bruising kiss. He showed no mercy, his actions a harsh copy of what Hank had done to Casey. He finally stepped back, letting Hank know that he was completely at Zeke's mercy. 

There were no words between them, just anger and the desire to dominate. Hank moved to strike Zeke and found himself pinned again. 

"We've got two choices here, Hank. You can let Billy figure out what he wants, you can leave Casey alone, you can even be their friend if you want. Or, you can keep on doing what you're doing, manipulating Billy, hurting Case, and I promise you that I will make you very sorry." He backed up and looked at Hank for a long moment. "We won't be having this conversation again." Zeke turned and walked away without looking back.


	43. Chapter 43

He spent the night staring up at the stars through the branches of a tall oak, wishing that he were in his room for the view more than for the company. Casey sighed quietly, hoping he didn't disturb Yogurt tonight as he had every other night he'd spent in this room. He missed the warmth and comfort of sleeping with someone, feeling safe because he was close enough to hear heartbeats if he listened carefully enough. 

The only thing he heard now was the hiss of the heater and Yogurt's steady breathing. Good, at least he hadn't woken the boy so far. 

He cast a glance over at the huddled form. Although nothing had been said, Casey knew Yogurt was getting tired of having him around. There was really no reason that he couldn't go back to his own room. Well, no reason other than the fact he didn't want to. Not that it made any sense, he admitted. Zeke was there, after all, even if Billy wasn't. Billy was with Hank... 

Casey scrubbed his mouth with the back of his hand and shuddered. He could still feel Hank's touch, just as cruel as so many others who had wanted to hurt him just for being smaller, for being different. Just for existing. 

He closed his eyes, wishing himself far away from these feelings and images. Wanting to reclaim that afternoon with Zeke and Billy in the middle of nowhere. Aching to feel loved. 

He felt a dull pain and looked down, lifting his hands up into the pale light. He ran a finger lightly over one wrist, relearning the contours of the scars that represented his utter failure. 

He remembered the lazy morning not so long ago when Zeke and Billy had driven him crazy just by caressing and kissing his scars. Without thinking, he raised one wrist to his mouth and licked at the scar, tasting it, shivering at the odd sensation. 

Lowering his arm, he looked down at his hands splayed across the desktop. The shadows made the fingers appear bigger, stronger. Casey smiled at the image and raised his head. 

And made a decision. 

XXXXX 

"I said, drop it." 

"I want an answer." Billy glared across the dimly lit room at Hank, frustrated by the other boy's arrogant smirk. It had been an unsettling evening and he wanted some answers before he could even think of sleep. 

"I won the game, I took my prize. So what." Hank leaned back in his chair, propping his feet up on the desk and crossing his arms. 

"Are you talking about Casey? Or me?" Billy's voice had turned cold, though he was careful to keep it low. It was late and neither of them wanted to add breaking curfew to their list of infractions. The only light came from a study lamp that Hank had placed on the floor and the room was full of strange shadows. 

Billy moved restlessly around the room, full of pent up energy and unable to go out and run it off. He was tired and annoyed and hadn't been sleeping well. What he really wanted was to go back to his room and curl up with Zeke and Casey and just let himself rest, something he hadn't done since that stupid fight. 

"He owes you an apology." The dim light drew harsh shadows down Hank's face making him appear sinister. Billy looked away from the sight, unnerved, feeling almost like he was having a bad dream. 

"You still didn't answer the question." 

"I'm not going to answer it, Billy. Go to bed." 

"I think I will, Hank. But not here." Billy started for the door but was stopped by a rough hand on his shoulder. 

"You're not going back to them," Hank said, his grip tightening until Billy winced. 

"What do you want from me?" 

"You're my friend." 

"Then treat me like one." Billy pulled away hard. "You're hurting me." 

"They're hurting you. They're changing you." 

"What's wrong with that? Maybe it's a good thing that I'm not that wiseass punk from a year ago. It's certainly better than the headcase I was six months ago." Billy leaned close, asking the question he'd been avoiding. "Can't you just... accept this?" 

"Accept what? That you've got your little boyfriends and your little house and you're ready to skip off into the sunset? Is that what you really want for yourself?" 

There it was, all the uncertainty laid bare. Billy saw the mixture of fear and self-doubt in his friend's eyes and finally felt as if he understood a little of what was happening. 

"We're graduating, Hank. It's time to move on, to grow up a little." He reached out and curled his hand around Hank's shoulder. "We're both ready for new adventures. Separate adventures." 

He swallowed hard and added. "We're not forgetting Joey or leaving him behind. We're getting on with our lives. It's time to step out from his shadow." 

They looked at each other for a long moment, their shared silence far more eloquent than words. Slowly Billy leaned in and placed his lips against Hank's, letting the other boy decide if and how to respond. 

Hank tilted his head a little and pressed forward just the slightest bit, testing. He drew Billy close, embracing him awkwardly, their bodies not quite touching. After a moment he backed away, his eyes closed. 

There had been no heat, no passion, only the need for understanding. 

"Stubble doesn't do a thing for me," he commented at last, finally opening his eyes. He smiled and there was genuine warmth and affection in it. 

"You and Snuffy, man. Token straight guys." 

"I guess somebody has to be." Hank punched Billy lightly. "So now we know." He sounded relieved. "At least about that."

"Guess so." Billy tried to keep his tone neutral, still not convinced the problems had been resolved. "We ok now?" 

"I think so, yeah." 

"No more trouble with Casey or Zeke?" 

"Not making promises, but I'll try." 

"Try hard. It's important." 

"Yeah, ok. For you, Billy." 

"So you want to do something tomorrow? Just the two of us?" 

"You mean with all the free time we have between laundry and pots and pans?" 

"We could always liven things up and swap chores." 

"But I couldn't possibly deprive you. I know how you love cleaning those pans of mystery gravy." 

"That's why I like you, man. Always so considerate." Billy grabbed Hank and play- wrestled him to the nearest bed. They untangled themselves and settled down, talking quietly into the early morning hours. 

XXXXX 

"Have you seen Casey?" Yogurt was frowning, and looking worried. "He hasn't been back to the room yet." 

"He was in class this morning," Zeke answered. "I didn't see him after that. There was extra laundry today, all the tablecloths and napkins from that big dinner for the boardmembers. I thought we'd never get out of there." 

"Ric and Snuffy haven't seen him either. They went to check the darkroom." 

"Case wouldn't be there. Parker didn't give back the keys yet." 

"Any idea where he would be? It's getting dark and he didn't take his jacket." 

"Did you ask Billy?" 

"He's the next stop. Want to tag along?" 

"Yeah, he's with Hank. Let's go." Zeke led the way to Hank's room and knocked on the door. 

"Yeah?" Billy answered. "Zeke, what's wrong?" 

"You seen Case lately?" 

"Not since this morning. He was on his way to class." 

"Any idea where he might be?" Yogurt asked. "I can't find him." 

"Did you check his tree?" 

"Yeah, and the meditation path and the attic." 

"He's not in the darkroom," Snuffy announced as he and Ric hurried down the hall. 

"Okay look, he's still restricted to campus so he's got to be here somewhere. We split up and look for him." Snuffy checked his watch. "Meet back here no later than 9:30." He assigned each pair a portion of the campus and sent them off, Ric and Yogurt towards the academic building, Hank and Billy to the gardens, he and Zeke to the old basement and surrounding grounds. They'd cover the dorm last. 

XXXXX 

"Maybe we should tell Dean Parker," Yogurt suggested, exchanging worried looks with the others. It was 10:15 at night and they'd found no sign of Casey. 

"This isn't like him," Billy insisted for the third time. 

"He said he was feeling better this morning," Yogurt said. "But he didn't sleep again last night. He just sat at the desk and stared out the window." 

"We give him until 11. If Casey's not here by curfew, we tell the Dean when he makes his rounds." 

The others nodded uneasily and headed off to get ready for bed, regrouping in Snuffy's room. 

XXXXX 

When the phone ran at 10:48 it startled them all. Snuffy reached for it, almost reluctantly. The others watched and listened carefully as he carried on an indecipherable one-sided conversation, then hung up. 

"That was Dean Parker. Casey is in his office. He wants us to bring Casey's personal stuff and a change of clothes and meet him in the infirmary. 

"He's ok," Snuffy added quickly over the voices raised in concern. "That's all I know." He turned to Zeke. "You want help gathering his stuff?" 

"His toothbrush and things are in my room. I'll go get them and meet you downstairs." Yogurt hurried off with Ric to retrieve the items. 

Billy trailed Zeke into their room and gathered sleepwear and boxers while Zeke selected a pair of jeans and shirt from the closet. They didn't speak, but their shared look conveyed their concern. 

The six of them hurried to meet the dean, Zeke and Snuffy in the lead, Hank in the rear. Dean Parker and Casey were in the hall, making their way slowly towards the infirmary. Casey was holding the dean's arm and his face was gray with pain. 

"You okay?" Zeke demanded, hurrying to Casey's side and wrapping his arm around the smaller teen's waist. Casey nodded and kept moving, his jaw set in a grim line. 

"Mr. Connor thought it necessary to walk all the way to town and back." Dean Parker's voice was controlled, a sure indicator that he was angry or upset. 

Zeke tightened his grip on the boy and looked at Billy, frowning. It wasn't like Casey to do something like that, especially since it meant that he had deliberately disobeyed the dean. 

"I'm sorry," Casey said softly, and Zeke was sure it wasn't the first time he'd said it tonight. He looked truly remorseful, but his expression changed as he hesitated, reaching into his pocket and drawing something out in a tightly clenched fist. He held his hand out to Billy, then repeated the action and handed an object to Zeke. 

"It was important," Casey insisted. He looked back at the dean and started walking again. It was clear that he was exhausted, from the dark circles under his eyes to the droop of his shoulders and the obvious effort it cost him to keep walking on his healing leg. His cheeks were flushed pink in his pale face and his eyes glittered oddly. 

"Come on, Case," Zeke leaned down and swept the boy up into his arms. Casey immediately leaned into him, resting his head on Zeke's shoulder. 

"Mr. Tyler..." The dean started to object but Zeke ignored him, moving faster towards the infirmary. Billy hurried on ahead and opened the door and turned on the light. 

Zeke set Casey down carefully, his hands lingering on the boy's fever-warm skin. He leaned down and kissed him tenderly on the forehead. 

Snuffy and the others waited in the outer area, unable to squeeze into the small room. They could only hear some of the conversation between the Dean, Casey, Billy and Zeke, but after a few short minutes, Billy and Zeke joined them and the dean sent them back to their rooms. 

"What was that about?" Hank asked as they walked. "What was so important that he risked leaving campus?" 

"This," Billy said, taking a silver object from his pocket and holding it out to them. It was a key on a silver keyring. The keyring itself was irregularly shaped with an engraved arc on it. Zeke held up it's twin. 

"They fit together," Snuffy said, reaching out and placing them together. "Like that." 

"The design is part of a circle," Ric observed. 

"A full circle. I'm sure Casey has the missing piece." Billy replied. "I'm guessing this is his house key. But, why would he give it to me? After everything that's happened..." 

"Because you're part of the circle, Billy. An equal part. It's his way of trying to make you understand that." 

"Why was it so important? He risked everything by disobeying the dean." Billy looked frustrated and overwhelmed, desperately trying to understand. 

"You know why, Billy." Hank looked at each of them, unhappy with their surprised reactions to his statement. Maybe he'd been more of a jerk than he thought... 

"Come on," Snuffy interrupted. "We'd better get to bed before the dean makes the rounds. We won't know any more until morning anyway." 

"Can we visit Casey tomorrow?" Yogurt asked. 

"The dean didn't say we couldn't. Case'll go nuts being stuck in that little room." 

"So we'll go cheer him up." 

"Yeah," Zeke grinned, heading into his room and closing the door. The others shook their heads, fully aware of the trouble that usually accompanied that grin.


	44. Chapter 44

"Hi," Zeke whispered, smiling at the drowsy, rumpled boy tangled up in the bed. Casey lifted his hand slightly in reply and his eyes slid closed. Zeke smiled and waited. 

"Thirsty?" he asked when those eyes re- opened. A slight nod, and the eyes closed again. 

"Here." When the eyes opened he was ready and slid a hand under Casey's shoulders, holding him up while the other hand pressed a glass of water to the boy's lips. Casey leaned against him heavily but managed to drink without spilling too much. Zeke took the glass away and wiped Casey's mouth with a cloth before easing him back to the bed. 

It was several minutes before Casey managed to open his eyes again. They were watery and a bit unfocused. "How long?" he rasped. 

Zeke reached over and smoothed Casey's hair. "All day. The nurse gave you something for pain and it knocked you out." 

"Fuzzy," Casey whispered, closing his eyes again. 

"It'll get better. Need a walk?" 

Casey frowned, puzzling over the question for a while before blushing lightly and nodding. Zeke helped him up, holding onto Casey as the boy winced at the pain in his leg. They crossed the room slowly and Zeke waited outside while Casey freshened up. As soon as the door opened, Zeke wrapped an arm around Casey and guided him back to the bed. 

Smoothing the covers over the smaller teen, Zeke fought back a yawn. It was nearly 10pm and he'd been sitting with Casey since 6. Billy and the others had taken turns checking on Casey throughout the day but Zeke had insisted on remaining with him once his chores were finished. He'd been working ahead on his homework while he waited. 

"Zeke," Casey said slowly, reaching out to Zeke. He was more alert now, but the medication's effects still hadn't completely worn off. 

"Hmm?" 

"Wanna see if this is more comfortable than our room?" Casey patted the bed and shifted to make space for Zeke. Zeke grinned and accepted the offer, lying down beside Casey and drawing him close. 

"Purely for science, of course. Testing a theory," Zeke teased before leaning over and kissing Casey's forehead. Casey nodded sleepily and closed his eyes with a contented sigh. 

They were both asleep when the dean stopped by ten minutes later. 

XXXXX 

Casey pressed his mouth hard against Zeke's, letting him swallow the moan. He could feel Zeke smiling even as the kiss was deepened. 

Zeke's hands were drawing teasing paths across Casey's back and he shivered. A hand pressed down on his hip to still him and Casey was sure he was going to lose the battle to remain silent. 

"Shhh," Zeke whispered tauntingly into his ear. "Wouldn't want to make the nurse curious." 

Casey buried his head against Zeke's neck and decided that if he had to die of embarrassment this was the way to go. He slid a hand up under Zeke's shirt and tweaked a nipple . 

"Mpfh." Zeke protested softly. "Better watch that, Case or I'll tell Billy to find somebody else to play with." 

In answer, Billy ran his teeth lightly along Casey's erection. 

Casey slapped a hand over his own mouth and writhed. They're gonna kill me right here in the infirmary, he decided. He tangled his hand in Billy's hair and pressed a little, encouraging him to continue. If he was going to die anyway... 

Billy tried something new and for a few seconds Casey saw stars. When he was back on Earth again he looked over at Zeke who seemed extremely amused. 

"Time for the grand finale" Zeke urged Billy. "It's almost time for class." 

Billy tightened his hold on Casey's hip and increased the tempo while Zeke took Casey's mouth. By the time Casey came down, he was sure that Zeke would have bruises. He loosened his grip with a smile of apology and ran his hands soothingly over the spot he'd been clutching. 

Zeke laughed and shook his head. "Being stuck here isn't as bad as you thought, is it Case?" 

Casey shook his head, reaching for Billy, drawing him up for a lingering kiss. Billy moved back, resting his head on Casey's chest for a moment before standing. 

"Come on, Mal. Time to fill our brains with useful facts." Zeke climbed over Casey, stealing a smooch on the way past, then grabbed his books and slung an arm around Billy, half wrestling him as they went. 

Casey waited until they'd closed the door before dropping his head back onto the pillow and stretching like a cat. He cocooned himself in the warm bedding and drifted off to sleep.


	45. Chapter 45

"I told you he'd be pouting." 

Casey refused to look up, but he couldn't stop himself from smiling. He was so glad to hear Billy's voice; being stuck here was making him crazy. "I'm not pouting." 

"Let's see," Zeke insisted, placing a gentle hand under Casey's chin and tilting his head up for a kiss. "Nope," he announced when the kiss ended. "Definitely not a pout." 

"See?" Casey said, making a face at Billy and leaning over to accept a kiss from him as well. 

"You ready to get out of here or has the dean decided that you need to scrub the floors with a toothbrush or something?" 

"No," Casey laughed, "but don't say it too loud or that's what I'll be doing tomorrow." 

Billy looked around the dingy storage room. It certainly looked better than it had earlier that morning. The floor had been swept, the shelves dusted and the various office supplies straightened and organized. Casey was busy scribbling numbers on a yellow tablet secured to a bright pink clipboard he'd found. Billy couldn't resist: "Nice clipboard." 

Casey rolled his eyes and went back to scribbling. "If you two comedians are looking for something to do, you could always go count something." 

"What, and undermine the dean's effort to teach you discipline and self control?" Zeke leaned against the nearest shelf and gave Casey a look that made him shiver. He took a step closer, reaching out to touch Casey's arm. "You know how bad you can be, Case." 

"You only hope, Zeke." Casey grinned back, continuing his work as he talked. "So did you both enjoy your freedom? Going off and leaving me here to slave away." 

"Yup," Billy said unrepentantly. "Had a great time. Too bad you're stuck on campus for another two weeks." 

"Don't remind me," Casey groaned. "How many more storage rooms can there be in this place?" "Don't worry. If you run out, there's always more furniture and silver to polish." 

"You sure you don't want to trade, Zeke? It'd give you a break from all that laundry." 

"And all that quality time with Hank." Zeke reminded him gently. 

"So where'd you go?" Casey changed the subject quickly. Just because Hank had agreed not to bother Casey didn't mean that things were better. 

"Stopped at the mall to get supplies. Brought you a cinnamon bun." 

"And that magazine you wanted," Billy added. 

"So..." Zeke drawled. "You done yet?" 

"Almost, yeah. Sheesh. Find something to keep yourselves busy and let me work." Looking up a minute later, Casey laughed. They had certainly taken his suggestion; Billy had Zeke in a lip lock and the two of them were making dramatic sounds and gestures, moaning and petting each other. Casey noted the count for the last item on the inventory then whipped the pencil at them. 

"Let's get out of here." 

XXXXX 

"There you are. Look what I found." Snuffy followed Casey into the room waving the plain video, keeping his hand over handwritten label. "Picked this out to amuse the jailbird." 

Casey made a face and dropped down onto his bed. He was restless and not really in the mood for the usual Saturday night pizza and movie. He wouldn't admit it to anyone but what he really wanted to do was go to the house. He'd had a lot of time to think about the place and how he'd like to fix it up. He thought he might find some space somewhere, maybe in the barn, and convert it into a darkroom eventually. 

He'd been trying not to think too much about photography since the dean took the darkroom keys. He'd almost chickened out of his plan to leave campus and get the copies of the house key made knowing that it would cost him his access to the darkroom, but in the end he'd known that settling things with Billy was more important. 

And it had been worth it. The three of them were together again and although he had to admit that the tension wasn't completely gone. Hank was even making an effort to be civil. It was pretty clear that things weren't going to ever be like they had been before the fight, but at least they could all stand to be in the same room again. 

Casey felt bad for Snuffy, Ric and Yogurt for being caught in the middle of this whole mess. He'd offered Ric and Yogurt use of the house for the weekend knowing that they wouldn't have many opportunities to spend time together before Ric graduated. He was very glad that they had accepted the offer. 

He sighed and closed his eyes, willing away that tiny spike of jealousy that they were there and he wasn't. A gentle caress whispered across the back of his hand and he opened his eyes, giving Billy a smile. 

"How's the leg?" Billy asked quietly, looking over at Zeke who was showing Snuffy something in a book he'd bought. 

"It's ok. I'm just tired." 

"You need food, Case. I bet you skipped lunch to get the storage room finished." Zeke handed Snuffy the book and reached down to grab Casey's arm and pulled him up. "Come on. Pizza, burgers or Chinese?" He grinned. "Or should I surprise you?" 

Casey shrugged. "Doesn't matter." 

"I vote for surprise," Snuffy chimed in. "As long as it's not snails or something similarly disgusting. What about you, Billy?" 

"Whatever." Billy's attention was focused on Casey's desktop. "These are good." He picked up one of the photos that had been scattered across the surface and held it up for Zeke and Snuffy to see. It was a black and white image of the farmhouse attic with the late afternoon sun slanting across the rocking chair. A large steamer trunk rested on end in the background. 

"Making plans for the house?" Zeke looked back towards Casey who hobbled over to join the others gathered around the desk. Zeke slid an arm around Casey's chest and pulled him close. "Why don't I go get some food and we can brainstorm. You can put Billy and I to work next weekend. It'll give us something to do while you're stuck here." 

"You sure about that?" Casey teased, raising one eyebrow. 

"I'd be careful how you answer that," Snuffy cautioned. 

"Nothing to worry about," Billy replied, leaning close to Casey. "We know where he lives." He looked over at Zeke. "We'd better go get the food. He's looking a bit faint." 

Casey just laughed and shook his head, watching them retreat before turning back to Snuffy and the photos. 

XXXXX 

"This was a great idea," Snuffy declared, snagging another piece of fried chicken. "My mother calls this picnic weather." 

"The things we have to do to get Batboy out of his cave." Billy grinned at Casey and reached past him to snag the container of macaroni and cheese. Casey faked stabbing Billy's arm with a plastic spork. "See," Billy said, "Poor socialization skills and latent hostile tendencies." 

"Did you let him loose in the library again?" Casey asked Zeke. "He's gonna hurt himself using all those big words." 

"Yeah?" Billy asked, leaning close and whispering something in Casey's ear. The others couldn't hear what was said but from the way Casey blushed they could guess at the content. 

Casey looked up from under lowered lashes, the picture of innocence as he slowly licked the last bit of mashed potatoes from his spork. Billy shivered a little and gave Zeke a gesture of surrender, dropping back onto the blanket with a groan. Casey didn't need words to play Billy's game. 

Snuffy shook his head and reached for a biscuit and a packet of honey. "You people are dangerous." 

"Not that we mind, Snuffy, but you don't have to spend your weekends with us. You could go out... you know, like on a date." 

"And miss all this? Surely you jest." 

Zeke shook his head. "You've got it bad." 

"Tell me again why I'm stuck at an all boys school?" Snuffy groaned dramatically and drew pictures with honey on his biscuit. 

"We've got company," Casey said quietly, looking up. Hank stood a short distance away, watching them uncertainly. Without consulting the others, Casey called out an invitation to join them. "Mashed potatoes?" he offered the container up to Hank who looked awkward and unsure of his welcome. 

"Yeah, come join us. Snuffy's threatening to make us watch more bad movies after we eat." Billy moved closer to Casey and waited for Hank to sit down then handed over a plate and the bucket of chicken. "Extra crispy or original?" 

"You kidding?" Hank smiled a little, "crispy of course." He fished a chicken leg out of the bucket and then accepted the potatoes from Casey. He added a serving of mac and cheese and a biscuit but declined the offer of honey. 

"I'll take that," Zeke said, reaching past Casey to pick up the small packet of honey. "For later," he whispered into Casey's ear. Casey gave Zeke an angelic smile and sank his teeth into a piece of chicken. 

XXXXX 

"What's this?" Dr Carson asked, accepting the small brown bag from Casey. She opened it and peeked in. "Candy?" 

"Made with mashed potatoes. I know, it's weird but good. They're supposed to be Easter eggs, but we made them round instead of oval and used semi-sweet chocolate instead of bitter." Casey made a face. 

Dr. Carson picked a small candy out of the bag and offered it back to Casey who politely declined. "I already had some," he admitted with a smile. 

"Oh, this is good, Casey. Did you make them by yourself?" Carson took another nibble of the peanut butter flavored sweet. 

"Zeke and I did. Billy and Snuffy helped for a while but they got bored and left." Casey shrugged. "Zeke figured it would give us something to do Sunday afternoon do since it rained all day. Dean Parker was really nice about letting us use the kitchen." 

"So he's not upset with you anymore?" 

"I guess not. I'm still confined to campus and I have to do chores everyday after class, though. And I'm not allowed to use the darkroom for another week." He shrugged. "I already made up all the work I missed when I was stuck in the infirmary." 

"How are you feeling?" 

"Fine. Cold's gone and the leg is back to the usual aches and pains. The doctor kind of had a fit." Casey grinned. "I think he'll be as happy as I am when this cast is off." 

"Will that be before graduation?" 

"Should be. I just overstressed it by walking to town and back but being stuck in bed for three days helped. No swelling or anything." Casey stuck his leg out for emphasis. The bits of cast that weren't covered by the walking boot were covered in designs. 

Carson let Casey sit for a minute, watching as he idly picked through the colorfully- wrapped candies in the dish she kept on the table near his preferred chair. She was learning that his choice of candy was another indicator of his mood; mint or butterscotch when upset or anxious, cinnamons when frustrated or impatient, citrus when he was happy. He didn't seem to like cherry or grape but he usually took them for Billy and Zeke. 

Cinnamon fireball. Carson smiled a little and leaned forward. 

"How's Hank?" 

Casey shrugged and made a face, shifting the fireball around in his mouth. His face reddened a little and he waved a hand in front of his mouth. "Wow, this is the kind that can melt your fillings." 

"Too hot?" 

"No, it's good." Casey tucked the fireball into his cheek so he could talk. His eyes slid off towards something over Carson's shoulder but he forced them back to meet her gaze. "Hank's ok. Things are better." He shrugged. "We're not going to be best friends but at least he's not beating me up. That's progress." 

"And you're ok with that?" 

"I guess." 

"What's Billy think of all this?" 

Casey looked away. "You'll have to ask him." He looked back and grinned. "Offer him one of these." He lifted a fireball out of the dish. "Should be fun to watch." 

Carson laughed and shook her head. "I'll leave that to you, Casey. A little mild payback?" 

"He's still kinda uptight," Casey admitted. 

Carson smiled back but she could tell from the way Casey shifted in his seat that he didn't really want to talk about Billy anymore. It was clear that things were better between the two boys, but they hadn't been able to take that final step yet. She watched Casey as he looked around, taking note of the subtle changes around him. She wouldn't push today, it could wait. 

"So how's Zeke? He happy to be able to get off campus again?" 

"I thought he was going to kiss his car. He really missed driving; it helps him clear his head." Casey lowered his voice a little and leaned closer. "He really hates that he couldn't drive us here today. I guess the dean thinks we'll go joyriding or something." 

"Would you?" 

Casey shrugged again then looked her directly in the eyes before replying honestly. "It's not like we'd plan to disobey, but... Sometimes we just need to get away after... You know." He gestured indicating her and the room, then admitted candidly. "And I really want to go the house." 

"Any particular reason?" 

"I don't know..." Casey frowned, considering the question. "I think... maybe because I'm finally looking forward to something and I don't want to wait." His eyes focused on the framed photograph of a beach at sunrise over her desk but he seemed to be looking beyond it for the answers he needed. "I never really had anything to look forward to. Nothing real anyway. It was all just... survive until graduation, get away from home, don't get killed by aliens." His voice trailed off a minute and then he added, in almost a whisper. "Desperation dreams." He ran fingers absently over the scars on his wrist. 

His eyes shifted, pinning Carson with their intensity. "I have to learn how to keep what's important. Learn how to fight if that's what it takes." 

"How will you do that, Casey?" 

"I still remember what it felt like, the alien parasites burrowing into my skin. My control being taken away. I have to teach myself to use that." 

"Use what?" 

"Anger. Hate. Betrayal." 

"Is that what you really want?" Carson watched as sweet, gentle Casey hardened. For a long, sickening moment she feared that she had failed him but then he wavered, surrendering with a self-mocking laugh. 

"I just want to protect what's mine. Protect who and what I love." 

"You can't protect love with anger and hate, Casey." 

"Then love can't be protected?" 

"I didn't say that." Carson leaned over and touched Casey's wrist, closing her fingers over the scars. "Love isn't fragile, Casey. Neither are you. You don't need anger and hate. I want you to think about that." She leaned back and smiled. "Consider it homework." 

"But will it be on the final?" he asked with a laugh. 

"Definitely. Now get out of here and tell Billy to wait a minute before coming in. Candy has less calories if no one sees you eating it." 

Casey smiled and walked away, making a show of closing the office door behind him.


	46. Chapter 46

"I look like a dork." Casey frowned at his reflection ignoring the laughter from the other side of the room. 

"That's 'cause you are a dork," Billy finally managed to squeeze the words out between laughs. 

"And I suppose you're a fashion god in that thing?" Casey gestured but the oversized black robe hid the motion. He scowled down at the floppy sleeves and tried - again - to shove them up over his hands. 

"You're confusing Billy with me again, Case." Zeke struck a pose. "I make this look good." 

To be honest, Zeke did look good in the black graduation gown while Billy looked almost as lost in his as Casey did. Not that Billy was about to admit such a thing. 

"Here's your crown then, oh supreme being." Billy tossed the black cap at Zeke and grinned when Zeke put it on. 

"Now we all look like dorks," Casey decided. 

"Smart dorks," Zeke corrected with a grin walking over to Casey and transferring the cap to him. "Don't forget your sash Mr. Scholarship." He draped the honors sash around Casey's neck and followed it with a quick bite to the neck. 

"You turning into a vampire?" Casey demanded as he tilted his head to give Zeke better access. 

"It's not your blood he wants," Billy snickered, levering himself off the desk and joining the pair in front of the mirror. He loved watching Casey when he had that look in his eyes. 

"Want me to help you with that?" Casey reached back and found the gown's fastener. "Wouldn't want to be all wrinkled, would we?" 

Eyes locked onto their reflection, the three of them played their favorite game, each matching the actions of the other as they slowly removed each other's graduation gowns. 

As one, the robes slid to the floor where they remained, forgotten, until morning 

XXXXX 

"Plague and pestilence?" Zeke asked mildly, watching as Billy slammed the phone handset back into the cradle a few times more than necessary. 

"Worse. Both parents and steps will be here for graduation. The school probably won't survive." 

"Sounds like fun. Too bad we can't lose them in Europe with mine." 

Billy snorted and turned. He had the door open before he stopped and turned back. "I gotta get out for a while. I won't be late." 

Casey and Zeke watched the door close and listened until they could no longer hear Billy's receding footsteps. They tried to go back to their studying but the silence was uncomfortable. 

"Have you heard from your parents, Zeke?" Casey looked up from his textbook with an unreadable expression on his face. The irony of the situation wasn't lost on any of them - the only one who wanted his parents at graduation was the one who no longer had parents. 

"Talked to them last week. They're somewhere in France and have..." Zeke made a face. "obligations. They probably don't even remember what school I attend." 

"Do they know?" Casey asked quietly. "About us?" 

Zeke leaned over and touched Casey's hand. "I told them I'll be living with you. They're giving me the room and board allowance that I would have paid the college. I thought we could use it to fix the place up a bit, and it will help with utilities and groceries." He slid his hand up Casey's arm to his shoulder and neck until he reached Casey's chin. He leaned in and spoke close to Casey's lips. "They don't need to know the rest. It wouldn't mean anything to them." 

"Are you afraid to tell them?" Casey whispered, his eyes locked onto Zeke's, fear shining clearly in those blue depths. 

"No, Casey. I'm not ashamed of who I am. I'm not ashamed of you or Billy either. It's just... they don't care enough about me to be part of my life. They don't deserve to know us." 

"Will you tell them someday?" 

"I don't know. Maybe." Zeke pulled the book out of Casey's hands and tossed it aside, pressing Casey back to the bed. He stretched out beside the smaller teen, resting his head on Casey's chest. 

They lay together for a while, just listening to each other's breathing. 

"Do you miss them?" Casey whispered into the silence, combing his fingers gently through Zeke's hair to calm him. Although Zeke claimed that he didn't care about his parents, the tension in his body told a different story. 

"I used to," Zeke admitted, his voice so soft it was like a breath. He tightened his hold on Casey. "Not anymore." He lifted his head and looked down into Casey's eyes, glittering in the light with the faintest hint of tears. "It's ok to miss them, Case." 

"I shouldn't. They don't deserve it. My dad doesn't deserve it." Casey amended. He turned his face away and rubbed at his eyes. 

"It's ok," Zeke whispered, gently turning Casey's face back towards his. "You don't have to hide from me. Ever." Zeke kissed Casey tenderly. 

Casey tightened his hold on Zeke, the loneliness and fear of the last weeks breaking free. He curled into the safety of Zeke's arms and didn't try to stop the tears. 

As he calmed, he reached up to Zeke and traced the path of moisture that tracked the older teen's face. Casey lifted himself up and used his lips to wipe away Zeke's tears. It made him stronger and he turned, guiding Zeke down and sheltering him. 

Billy returned, taking in the scene without a word. He accepted the invitation of Casey's outstretched hand and climbed in beside Zeke. It took just a little shifting to find the right fit so that they were comfortably pressed together. 

Billy urged Zeke to turn onto his side and rubbed his back, returning the kindness Zeke often shared when Billy was upset or couldn't sleep. 

Casey stretched out his hand and played with the hairs on the back of Billy's neck. Zeke just sighed and rested his head against Casey's chest, one hand resting on Casey's hip. 

Casey watched as the tension eased from his lovers' faces and bodies. He felt strong; a deep primal strength. He leaned down and kissed the top of Zeke's head, then the tip of Billy's nose, keeping his lips busy to stop the laugh that suddenly filled his chest. 

He had found the answer for Dr Carson.


	47. Chapter 47

Better than gold, he decided, his eyes locked onto the glittering object. Platinum, maybe. No, even better. It was in his hand now, solid and a little cold. If he held it, it would grow warm, a solid, comforting warmth. 

"Thank you, sir." 

"I'm putting my trust in you, Mr. Connor. I don't ever want to have reason to take this away again." 

"No, sir." 

Casey looked down at the darkroom key resting on his palm. It was warmer already. 

"Casey." 

Casey looked up and smiled, feeling foolish. It was just a key after all. 

"You did an excellent job on this." The dean was studying the silver tea service Casey had spent all afternoon polishing. It was old and beautiful. Casey had the feeling it was important to the dean and had taken extra time and care to restore its luster. 

"I saw a set something like it in a museum once, but it was really elaborate. This one doesn't have all the decoration, but it's nicer." 

The dean smiled softly at Casey, then reached down and picked up the creamer, holding it with the polishing cloth so as not to leave fingerprints on the softly gleaming silver. "This was a gift from one of our students many years ago." He returned the piece to the tray and looked up. "He was a bright young man, passionate about sculpting. His family didn't support his interests; they threatened to disown him. He refused to let them dictate his life. When he graduated, not a single member of his family attended." The dean looked up into Casey's eyes. "Years later he sent this set with a note saying that he'd inherited it from a great aunt and he wanted it to be shared by those who had accepted him for who he was." 

"What was his name?" Casey asked, already knowing from the dean's words and expression that he was talking about someone famous. 

"Oh, no, Mr. Connor. It's not that easy. Consider that your final penance. When you can tell me his name, I'll release you from your chores." 

"Yes, sir." Casey grinned at the thought of the challenge. He would have researched it anyway. 

"One last thing, Mr. Connor." 

"Yes?" 

"You'll be able to leave campus again next week. I was hoping you might consider having dinner with me next Wednesday after your doctor's appointment." He smiled. "I haven't had pancakes in a while." 

"I'd like that very much, sir." 

XXXXX 

"He's asleep," Billy announced in a stage whisper although he and Casey were the only ones around. 

"Am not," Casey countered, refusing to look up. He was flat on his stomach in the grass, eyes focused on the camera viewfinder. "This'll be a great shot. Just wait." 

The wind ruffled the grass gently and Casey waited patiently, finally getting what he wanted. With a sigh he rolled over and looked up at Billy. 

"You're back." 

"Good observation, scholarship boy." 

Casey stuck his tongue out at Billy and lifted the camera up to his eye, snapping a quick photo before Billy could move out of range. "Gotcha." 

"So you gonna lay out here all night? Does this mean I get that whole bag of Doritos all to myself?" 

"What?" Casey sat up fast." No way. If I have to sit through another of Snuffy's conspiracy theories I at least get some chips." 

"Well, bad news there. Snuffy's gone out." 

"Out? Like... date out?" 

"Yeah," Billy grinned. "Scary, isn't it." He reached down and grabbed Casey's hand, hauling him up. 

"It's great. I hope he has a good time." Casey leaned close to Billy. "So does this mean we get to pick a movie for a change?" 

"Princess Bride or Monty Python?" 

"I was thinking Star Wars." 

"Indiana Jones?" Billy countered. 

"Which one?" 

"First, of course." 

"Deal. Zeke gonna join us?" 

"Yeah. He went to get the munchies. Hank's gone out and Ric and Yogurt are at the house so it's just us." 

"You and Zeke have fun today?" 

Billy quirked an eyebrow at Casey, pausing mid-step to give him the full look. "You gave us three pages of 'little things' to work on at the house." 

"You asked. Besides, you could have been here shoveling dust with me up in the attic." 

"No, thanks. It took half a day to get the porch railing done. It still needs to be painted and there are three slats that I couldn't fix. I kept one of the good ones to use as a guide; I could get some wood to make replacements if I had the tools." 

"It can wait, Billy. As long as the railing is sturdy we can worry about the details later." He paused in his journey up the steps. "Thanks for doing that today. I can't wait to see how it looks." 

"We'll spend next weekend there." Billy grinned. "We left some of those 'little things' just for you." 

They laughed as they finished the journey towards the student lounge. 

XXXXX 

"Surprise!" Casey burst into the room, shattering the quiet and startling the two boys who were busy studying. He walked with exaggerated steps into the center of the room and turned around slowly, one leg extended slightly. It took a few seconds for them to catch on. 

"It's gone!" They knew Casey had a doctor's appointment after class, but were still surprised to see the cast had been removed. 

Casey struck a pose and leaned down to slide the jeans fabric up over his bare calf, vamping ridiculously. 

Billy swooped over and grabbed him, lifting Casey up and twirling him around. "Check out that leg." Casey laughed and held on tight. 

"Wait, wait," Zeke said, tossing aside his book and joining them. He moved very close and looked at Billy. "Should we examine the patient?" 

"But, of course," Billy played along using the worst attempt at a British accent Casey had ever heard. Billy dropped Casey down onto the bed and held him while Zeke attacked the button of Casey's jeans, opening it and pulling the jeans off. 

"Wow, Case, I didn't think skin could be that pale. Got any zombies in your family?" 

"Just my dad." Casey made a face and wiggled when Zeke ran fingers lightly up over his calf. 

"You ticklish there, Case?" Zeke knelt beside the bed and leaned over, placing a wet kiss on Casey's leg then blowing warm breath across it, smiling as he felt Casey respond. 

Billy looked down and laughed. "We're not going get any studying done tonight are we?" Casey and Zeke looked up at him with matching smiles and shook their heads. 

XXXXX 

"You're not serious." 

"I'll be careful. Really." 

"Casey, come on. We'll go find something to do. Don't you want to go to the darkroom?" 

"No. I caught up yesterday. I did that demo for the First Years and then developed the rest of my pictures. That's why I want..." he gestured towards his goal. 

"No!" Zeke almost roared, ready to throw something - Casey if necessary - to get his point across. He took a deep breath and looked at Billy who was trying not to look amused. 

"You-are-not-climbing-any-trees!" 

Casey looked over at Billy and received a solemn nod. Billy knew better than to disagree with Zeke on this one. He didn't particularly want to relive that blood- freezing moment when Casey fell out of the tree, but he didn't think going ballistic was the right way to get the point across. 

"Not even the lowest branch?" 

"If you're lucky I'll think about letting you sit under the damned thing but you are not climbing it." 

"So I guess this means I'll have to find a new place to get good pictures." 

Zeke just nodded, trying to remember how to breathe normally. 

"Would you go with me? To find a new picture spot?" Zeke nodded, relaxing a bit. Billy agreed too, but a bit more cautiously. 

"Great!" Casey headed off towards the trees. "Ever been to the Church belfry?" he called over his shoulder. 

Billy gave Zeke a look as they headed off after Casey. They congratulated themselves on keeping comments about bats all to themselves.


	48. Chapter 48

Casey was silent, his eyes shining, mouth open slightly, the corners turned up. "You painted." 

Zeke pressed close to Casey on one side while Billy wrapped an arm around him from the other. The stood together looking up at the house, the fresh coat of white gleaming in the mid-morning sunshine. Casey turned to look at one, then the other. 

"How?" 

"The advantage of being the son of a contractor," Billy replied with a grin. It was an old joke - his father actually owned one of the largest construction companies in the world. "I asked for some paint and brushes and he sent a crew instead. They repainted inside too, except where there's wallpaper - we couldn't ask you about that without ruining the surprise. They'll come back and finish when you decide if you want to re-paper or just paint." 

Casey turned and looked at the other buildings; they had been painted also, including the white trim on the barn and the shutters on the house and summer house. 

"Come see what else." Billy grabbed Casey's hand and pulled him towards the barn. Zeke followed along, easily keep pace with laughing pair. They paused in front of the barn and Billy unlocked the door, opening it and stepping back to allow Casey to enter first. 

Closed-backed shelves had been added to the work area off to the side, anchored to the existing support beams and creating a large rectangular workspace. The battered pegboard over the worktable had been replaced and a curious assortment of tools, some suspiciously new looking, were secured there for easy access. 

Casey looked over at Zeke and mouthed, "Power tools." Zeke flashed that irresistible grin and took Casey's shoulders, turning him and pushing gently towards the stairs. 

"I'll save you, Case." 

Billy just laughed and let them go, turning his attention back to the workbench. His dad had donated a few tools that he insisted were essential and Billy had happily accepted. He could hear Casey and Zeke walking around overhead and the muted sounds of voices and laughter. There were other sounds that he recognized too and that was what finally lured him away from the tools. 

"... maybe a pale yellow or cream here, something neutral to rest the eye and..." When Casey was this wound up the only thing that stopped his chatter was a kiss and he was on the receiving end of a deep one when Billy joined them. 

Zeke moved back slightly and grinned at Casey's slightly glassy-eyed _expression. He looked over at Billy and raised an eyebrow, a subtle challenge. 

Billy moved closer and pulled Casey close, the smaller body moving willingly, the head tilting at an inviting angle. Billy took the hint and ran his teeth lightly over a certain place on Casey's neck, eliciting a shiver as always. He worked a wet path up, stopping briefly at the earlobe. Zeke's mouth on the back of his neck kept distracting Billy but he finally reached Casey's mouth and spent a long moment in unhurried exploration. Zeke's arms were around Billy reaching out to run teasing paths along Casey's arms and down his sides. 

"Maybe we better get to the house," Casey suggested shakily when Billy finally came up for air. 

Billy and Zeke exchanged looks and grinned. 

Casey led them across the yard, moving quickly but cautiously. He had to wear a leg support similar to a thick sock and without the weight of the cast he had to remind himself not to get carried away. The doctor had threatened to put him back in a cast if he didn't follow all of the instructions he'd been given and he wasn't about to take any chances. 

He could see the few places on the porch railing where broken slats had been removed. There weren't many and it didn't look that bad, especially with a fresh coat of paint to brighten everything. 

Unlocking the door he took a breath before stepping inside. He was expecting the strong odor of new paint but it wasn't as overpowering as he thought it would be. 

Billy and Zeke had stopped to get the supplies from the car and carried them into the kitchen while Casey wandered through the living room to the dining room. The bright new paint here made the living room wallpaper seem shabby. He leaned against the doorway and tried to visualize colors and patterns that would look good in the space. 

"Playing decorator again?" Zeke teased, crossing the room to stand beside him. 

"Yeah. I think maybe we should just paint this room to match the dining room; get rid of the wallpaper. It's kind of..." 

"Fifties?" 

"Yeah. What do you think?" 

"Works for me. I'm not a wallpaper kind of person." 

"Unless it's porn," Billy leaned in and whispered between them. 

"You offering to pose?" Zeke smirked. "Maybe with some of those power tools you're so fond of?" 

Casey just laughed and walked away leaving them to harass each other. He stopped in the kitchen and frowned. Something was different... 

"Billy?" 

"Yes, master?" Billy staggered into the room, Igor style, with Zeke slung over his back. Zeke stood and they both came over to see what Casey was pointing at. "What's that?" 

"I think they call that a kitchen." 

"Dork," Casey snorted. "I mean this." He reached out and touched the object, turning to give Billy a stern look. 

"Hey, don't look at me." He reached out and nudged Zeke. "Talk to prettyboy here." 

Zeke shrugged. "Consider it exercise. I haven't given the parent's charge card a workout in a while." 

"Zeke, you can't..." 

"Sure I can. I have a monthly spending allowance, Case. Haven't used much of it lately." He leaned close. "Who needs parents when you have plastic." 

Casey shook his head, looking a bit overwhelmed. He took a step back and turned to look at the dishwasher, running his hand over the controls. He shook his head. 

Zeke touched his shoulder. "Before you come up with a list of reasons why you don't deserve this, the paint, whatever else..." He turned the boy gently to look into his eyes. "The circle, Case." He took Casey's hand, then reached out for Billy's. Billy held Casey's and the three of them were linked. "Right?" 

Casey swallowed hard and nodded. 

"Good. Now come on. You're missing the best part." 

"Yeah," Billy exclaimed, "Wait til you see how great my chair looks upstairs." He dragged Casey towards the stairs, missing the grimace on the younger teen's face. 

The hall had been painted, but Casey didn't have time to admire it as Billy hauled him up to the third floor. 

He blinked, stunned by the changes. It had been transformed from a dusty attic to the nicest room in the house. 

Billy's chair sat in the center of the room and Casey laughed at the sight; someone had fitted a paint-spattered dropcloth over it as a slipcover. It looked much better that way. 

Beside it was the old rocker, fixed and polished and between them was the old steamer trunk and an old floor lamp. 

Casey looked around, taking in the soft white walls and ceiling, the polished floors and the brightly colored beanbag chairs under the windows. There was a worn braided rug under the furniture and along the back wall was a curious arrangement of shelves. 

Casey moved closer to investigate, studying the crosswork of wooden shelving that now covered the entire wall. Long boards of honey colored wood were angled so that they intersected to create diamond-shaped cubicles of varying sizes. Some books and a few cds occupied the shelves already. In one cubicle, a small board had been fitted across the space to make a level surface for a cactus plant. The overall effect was visually interesting and Casey was already thinking about adding something similar in his workroom. 

"Like it?" 

Casey turned to Billy and Zeke and the sunlight made his eyes glitter. He reached out and pulled them close, holding them tightly. "Love it," he whispered, when he was under control enough to speak. 

"Even the shelves?" 

"They're the best part... I never saw ones like that before." 

"My dad put something like that in a loft apartment last year. He really liked the look of it and showed me pictures. I remembered it and..." Billy shrugged. "I thought you might like it." 

"It's perfect." Casey grinned. "Now that you have tools, think you can make another one for my workshop?" 

Zeke just laughed and shook his head. "Told you, Billy. Looks like you get clean up duty for the whole weekend." 

Billy rolled his eyes. "Shoulda known. That's the last time I take you up on a bet." 

"Until next time," Zeke tossed over his shoulder, already heading downstairs. "Who's hungry?" 

Casey patted Billy's arm sympathetically then hurried after Zeke calling, "Me!" 

"Paper plates," Billy called down to him looking over at the shelves again and smiling before following the others to the kitchen.


	49. Chapter 49

Casey ran the towel over the plate, absently tracing the faded pattern. The sound of Zeke and Billy teasing each other faded to comforting background noise so he heard only the cadence of their voices rather than their words. 

The fine marks of crazing on the plate's finish blurred as Casey stared, his mind on paint and appliances. A vague disquiet tightened his chest and he blinked rapidly. 

Strong arms startled him, reaching around and taking the plate and dish towel away, turning him towards the concerned faces of his lovers. 

Without speaking, Billy took one of Casey's hands while Zeke held the other. They led him down the hall and up the stairs, pausing just long enough to open the door before propelling him gently into the bedroom. 

He stopped abruptly, feeling Zeke and Billy beside him, his attention focused on the sight before him. 

"Like it?" Zeke asked quietly, breathing the question into his ear. 

The bed was new, a thick king-sized mattress on a platform of light wood. There were drawers of varying sizes in the base of the platform, and a simple matching headboard with reading lights attached. The royal blue comforter was an attractive contrast to the lighter blue sheets and pillowcases. A large stuffed bear reclined against the center pillow, an absurd touch that made Casey smile. 

He walked over and picked up the bear, hugging it as he sat on the bed, looking back at Zeke and Billy, waiting for the explanation. 

"Thank the parents, Case." Zeke grinned. "I told them I needed a bed for the new house. Billy helped me pick it out." 

"It's nice," Casey said quietly, laying back crossways, still holding the bear. "Comfortable." 

"And practical," Billy said with a smile, moving around to the far side of the bed and leaning down to open one of the smaller drawers. "See?" 

Casey rolled over and looked down, then looked up quickly at Billy and over at Zeke. He laughed. The drawer held supplies, including a very large container of lube that Billy had bought as a joke. 

"Fruit flavored," Billy pointed out before closing the drawer and throwing himself onto the bed, reaching out to tickle Casey. 

"You're warped, you know that Billy." 

"Me? You're confused Casey, Zeke's the warped one." 

"Really?" Zeke interrupted, joining the pair on the bed. He looked at Casey, and together they tackled Billy. The bear went flying and ended up half-hanging off the edge of the bed. 

The trio wrestled a bit, the movements gradually changing to caresses and then kisses until they were breathless. 

"Wait, wait," Billy insisted. 

"What?" 

"Shower time!" Billy bounced off the bed and headed off towards the bathroom leaving a puzzled Casey and frustrated Zeke. They followed the trail of discarded clothes, adding their own until they were together in the bathroom examining the modifications. 

The clawfoot bathtub remained but where the open shelves had been, there was now a large shower stall. A smaller set of shelves had been placed against the side of the stall to hold towels and washcloths. 

Billy grinned and stepped into the shower, leaving the door open for them. When Zeke and Casey didn't follow right away he grabbed the shower hose and pointed it at them threateningly. 

"Come on slackers, we've got things to do." 

"What things?" Casey asked, looking from Billy to Zeke and back. 

"Guess." Zeke grinned wickedly as he brushed past Casey and entered the shower stall. Casey shook his head and followed, feeling a bit like the proverbial fly walking into the spider's lair. 

Billy adjusted the water temperature while Zeke took the bottle of shampoo and handed it back to Casey. They had just enough room to move comfortably, but they were constantly brushing against each other. 

Billy had the bar of soap and was working up a lather, grinning as he looked beyond Zeke to Casey. Casey had a small pool of shampoo in his hand and was reaching up, urging Zeke to tilt this head back. While Billy thoroughly lathered Zeke's front, Casey massaged the shampoo into Zeke's scalp. 

Willingly caught between them, Zeke submitted to their attentions, trying to keep his hands at his sides. His eyes were closed and he smiled dreamily. 

When the shampoo had been rinsed away, Billy handed Casey the soap, then carefully ran his hands across Zeke's chest and down to make sure all of the soap residue was gone. He ended on his knees, teasing the soap bubbles between Zeke's toes. 

Zeke shuddered and looked down, unable to keep still any longer. He reached for Billy only to have Casey catch his hands and guide them up until he was reaching skyward while Casey and Billy tormented him with pleasure. 

No longer control himself, he cried out, reaching for his lovers in blind need. 

Casey slid his arms around Zeke's waist to steady him while Billy climbed to his feet, looking very pleased with himself. Zeke caught that smile with his mouth and held it while pressing back just a bit against Casey. 

"Round two?" Zeke managed to ask after he'd explored Billy's smile thoroughly. 

"Round two!" Billy and Casey chorused while Billy switched places with Zeke. 

The trio was more playful now, with Zeke and Casey passing the soap back and forth between them for teasing swipes across Billy's fevered skin. They rubbed shampoo into Billy's hair then sculpted it into exotic hairdos. When they tired of that game, they took up the soap again and teased Billy until he was writhing. They moved closer and held him firmly between them until a few well placed caresses to drove Billy over the edge. 

By now Casey was so close he was sure he wouldn't make it through his own washing. He opened his mouth to warn his lovers but Billy stopped him by pressing a finger to his lips. 

"Trust us." 

Casey just nodded and leaned back against Zeke, closing his eyes and allowing the sensations to wash over him. The contact was slow and gentle, soothing and just erotic enough to keep him on the edge. He sighed and let his body be manipulated, putting his complete trust in the boys... no, the men that he shared his life with. 

"Casey..." Billy sang softly into his ear. 

The sight of those eyes, the feel of Zeke's strong arms around him... that was all he needed to find his release. 

"Bed time," Zeke said as he helped Casey out of the shower, wrapping a towel around him. 

Casey nodded meekly, so relaxed he could barely hold himself upright. 

Billy rubbed the water off his own skin and tossed his towel aside before repeating the process for Casey while Zeke held Casey up. When Billy and Casey were settled, Zeke dried himself and led the way to the bed. They climbed in, pulling up the covers and sliding close to each other. 

Zeke watched as Casey's eyes slid closed, then looked over at Billy and grinned. 

"Casey..." he breathed against the sleepy teen's ear. 

Casey shifted and made a funny little humming sound. 

"Casey..." Now it was Billy whispering. 

Slowly, mirroring each other's actions, Zeke and Billy ran teasing paths across Casey's body. They leaned close and shared a kiss, letting it deepen even as they kept up an irregular pattern of caresses. 

Beneath them Casey shifted and sighed, his eyes opening just a bit. He reached up and drew sensuous curves across their chests and backs. 

"I'm not getting any sleep, am I?" 

Zeke and Billy broke the kiss and looked down before chorusing, "nope." 

"Okay then." Casey stretched, let out a little "hff" and launched himself upright tackling his lovers. They wrestled until they were tangled together, bodies flushed with heat. 

"So much for getting anything done for the rest of the day," Billy said before diving back into the tangle. 

Without saying a word, Casey directed Billy and Zeke into place. He'd been wanting this... 

Zeke was beneath him, guiding Casey as they merged while Billy lay beside them, watching, eyes shining with desire. After a few minutes, Casey was pressed fully against Zeke, motionless. That was Billy's signal to join his body with theirs. 

It took some work to find the proper rhythm between the three of them, but the effort was rewarded when Zeke began to shake, the force of his climax making him cry out. Casey's cry came immediately after Zeke's, and the two of them moved against each other languidly until Billy joined them. 

They collapsed where they were, shifting only slightly to take the weight off Zeke. It was a while before any of them were able to move. 

The tickling was what finally roused Casey. He swatted at the annoyance and tried to turn over only to come up against a solid wall of Zeke. He lifted his head up and was shocked when he was caught and shifted, his body pressed hard against the mattress. Rough hands and mouths marked him, covering his entire body, pinning him hard enough to restrain but not to really hurt. Teeth were added, nibbling here and there across his chest and downwards, never reaching the area that ached for attention. 

"You ready for this?" Zeke asked, all movements paused while he waited for Casey's permission to continue. He didn't have to explain that it would he hard and fast, Casey knew and wanted it. 

Casey nodded, scratching his nails across Zeke's chest while his other hand scored Billy's arm. 

"3...2...1... blastoff," Billy said with a sly grin. Casey just pressed his head back into the pillow and held on tight.


	50. Chapter 50

"Hey," Casey greeted Zeke, watching as the older teen walked closer, blinking sleepily against the early morning light. 

"Couldn't sleep?" Zeke asked as he dragged a beanbag chair over and draped himself over it, copying Casey's pose. 

"I didn't want to bother you, so I thought I'd come up here and read." 

Zeke reached over and tilted the book so he could read the title. "Modern Sculpture? You thinking of trying a new medium?" 

"Maybe," Casey shrugged. "Clay could be interesting." He shifted onto his side so he could look right at Zeke. "I thought we might try it together." 

"You're the artist, Case." 

"Not really. I just like to take pictures. But maybe we could experiment with clay... just for fun." His voice trailed off and he looked away, towards the nearest window. 

"Sounds interesting. I guess I could give it a try... as long as you don't expect it to look like anything." 

"Don't worry about that," Casey laughed as he flipped through the book to the color photos in the middle. He turned the book around to show Zeke. "None of this stuff looks like anything and they're professionals." 

Zeke reached over and took the book, flipping through it at random, making faces at a few of the more grotesque sculptures. "So why are you reading this anyway? It's not for a class." 

"The dean told me about a former Regis student who is now a famous sculptor." He picked up the book and flipped to a page three-quarters of the way through. "R. G. Harrison. He did that big black sculpture by the scholars' path." 

"The one that looks like an upside down duck?" 

"It's called 'Ascendance'." 

Zeke just smirked. "Good name." 

Casey made a face and shifted so his head was resting on Zeke's leg. Zeke took the book and set it aside, then ran his fingers through Casey's hair to smooth it down. He hadn't combed it and it was sticking up at odd angles. 

Casey was quiet for a long time and from his expression, Zeke could tell that the thoughts weren't all pleasant. After a while he leaned over and made a goofy face. 

"Relax, Case." 

Casey just smiled up at him and reached out to Zeke, lacing their fingers together. The sun cast stripes of warmth and light across their bodies and they looked at each other, communicating in comfortable silence until they heard Billy approaching. 

"Thought I'd find you here," Billy called as he walked bounded up the stairs into the attic room. "I brought provisions." He strolled over and set down three cans of Pepsi and a box of Cap'n Crunch. 

"You're gonna eat this instead of that omelet you've been wanting?" Zeke crossed his arms over his chest and tried to look indignant. The effect was ruined when Casey tossed a nugget of cereal at him. 

"Hey, these are just survival rations." 

"Yeah," Casey added. "You know - a snack before the meal. So you have enough strength for all that cooking." 

"You're forgetting that you're on chef duty today, Case. I'm just gonna help." 

"That so? And who exactly decided this?" 

"Me, of course." 

"Of course. So tell me, O decision-maker-for- us-all, what gourmet delights will I be preparing? Toast? Corn flakes?" 

"You heard Billy. He wants an omelet. You wouldn't want to disappoint him would you?" 

Billy leaned close to Casey and tried to look forlorn. Casey giggled in his ear. 

"Dork." 

Billy looked over at Zeke. "You're gonna help him, right? I don't want a runny half-cooked omelet or anything." 

"Hey! I'm not that hopeless... unlike some people." Casey dropped his head in Billy's lap and looked up at him, batting his eyes and looking about 5 years old. 

"Do not do that thing with your eyes. Geez, it's like one of those scary Precious Moments pictures with those big-eyed kids." Billy shuddered and shoved Casey off his lap then dropped a beanbag chair on him before sliding over to Zeke and pretending to cower behind him. "Save me," Billy squeaked in a painful falsetto. 

"Like this?" Zeke asked, playing along as he turned and grabbed Billy, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him against him. 

"My hero," Billy squeaked. He didn't see the beanbag until Casey bonked him with it. 

XXXXX 

Late afternoon sunlight slanted through the living room window but a gentle breeze kept the room pleasantly cool. Zeke lay stretched out on the sofa paging through a book on gardening while Billy ran his hands lightly over the piano, his fingers tracing the tiny cracks in the finish on the upright instrument. 

They'd spent most of the day working outside, raking leaves and clearing out the flowerbeds along the house and the vegetable patch in the back yard. Billy had been thrilled to find nearly a dozen vegetable plants growing in the neglected garden. He insisted that most of them were tomato plants and thought the rest might be peas or beans. Zeke and Casey decided to take his word for it - they'd find out soon enough anyway. 

Once the debris was dragged off to the compost pile, they showered and straightened the house, but they were reluctant to leave. They rested for a while, then Casey wandered off to the study without a word. He'd been in there for a while and Billy had to keep reminding himself that Casey needed time alone with the past. With a sigh, he pulled out the piano bench and sat, flexing his fingers before striking a soft chord. 

He frowned at the slightly off-key sound. Definitely needed to be tuned. He tried middle C and nodded, glad that it wasn't completely out of tune. Hmmm... He played each note, letting the last one linger, and looked up to see Casey watching him intently. 

Billy said nothing, just looked at Casey and waited. After a long moment Casey moved closer, as if compelled. 

"Can you really play?" Casey asked so quietly Billy barely heard him. 

"Hope so. I'd hate to think I wasted two years on lessons." 

"Would you play something?" 

"Wouldn't it be more interesting if I showed you?" 

"Really?" The excitement tempered with caution made Billy's chest tight. Hadn't Casey's parents ever paid attention to him? Not even to drag him to dumb lessons or anything? 

"Sure," Billy smiled and slid an arm around Casey's waist. "Move closer, it'll make this easier." Casey grinned and slid over until he was plastered against Billy. "Good now... put your left hand in your lap, put your right hand over mine and close your eyes." 

"What?" 

"Close your eyes. Here..." Billy guided Casey's left hand down and covered it with his hand. Then he slid his right hand under Casey's and matched their fingers as best as he could. He checked - Casey's eyes were closed. 

"Good, now just listen." 

Billy played middle C a few times, then ran a simple 5-note scale up and down. Finally he tapped out "Mary Had a Little Lamb". 

"You like that?" Casey nodded, smiling. Billy looked over and was startled by Zeke's expression. He had abandoned the book and was sitting up, watching. Their gazes locked and held for a long moment before Zeke stood and walked closer. 

"How about something more challenging?" 

Casey opened his eyes and looked up, surprised to find Zeke taking a seat beside him on the piano bench. He fit himself tightly against Casey and turned a bit to place his left hand under Casey's. 

"Eyes closed," Zeke reminded Casey, waiting until he complied before looking over at Billy and mouthing the title of the song he wanted to play. Billy grinned and nodded. 

Billy counted out the tempo and then... 

Billy and Zeke struck their notes together, pounding out "Chopsticks" to Casey's delight. He laughed, keeping his eyes closed and letting his hands be guided. It was like dancing with just his fingers, he decided, feeling giddy and light. Just like dancing.


	51. Chapter 51

Zeke leaned against the doorway peering into his dorm room, arms crossed and an amused expression on his face. The music was so loud that neither Casey nor Billy had heard him arrive and Zeke enjoyed the chance to watch them unnoticed. 

The furniture had been pushed back and the two bodies careened through the open space, faces flushed and skin shining with moisture as they danced. Neither of them were particularly good dancers, but their joyous smiles eclipsed the lack of skill. 

Casey had his eyes half-closed, trusting instinct and Billy to keep him from colliding with walls or furniture. His overshirt was dangling off the edge of the desk where he'd thrown it and his plain white t-shirt was half-untucked from his jeans. One sneaker was balanced in the corner and the other was upside-down on the bed. Casey was dancing in his socks. 

Zeke grinned at Billy, finally catching his eye. They shared a look, then Zeke pushed away from the door and toed off his shoes. He moved in behind Casey and caught him neatly as Billy spun him away. 

"Fancy meeting you here," Zeke commented, leaning in to kiss Casey before grabbing his hand and spinning him back to Billy. 

"What am I, a yo-yo?" Casey gasped, coming up hard against Billy's chest. 

"Yup," Billy agreed, wrapping his arms around Casey and swaying with him. 

The song changed to something a bit slower and Billy pulled Casey closer and rested his chin on his shoulder. Zeke moved up behind Casey and matched the pair's movement. 

"I take it we're celebrating." 

"Oh, yeah. Last day of Exams for the Rejects. Definitely celebrating." Billy looked up at him. "Four days 'til graduation. Three days 'til the hordes arrive. Yup. Celebrating." 

"I think he gets the idea," Casey laughed, leaning back against Zeke while Billy still held on tight. They finished out the song like that, but broke apart when someone pounded on the door. 

"Geez, you trying to make us all deaf?" Snuffy demanded when Zeke opened the door. 

"What? Sorry, can't hear you." Zeke swung the door closed but Snuffy stopped it. 

"Ha, ha. Dork." He pushed his way in, then waved to Ric who was still in the hall. "Come on!" he yelled. "We're gonna help Billy find the volume control." 

"Okay!" Billy yelled, turning the music up louder. The windows rattled and Zeke threw his head back and laughed before grabbing Ric and pulling him into the chaos. Billy caught Snuffy and twirled him around while Casey dodged arms and bodies to get to the door. Most of the doors on the hall were open and it sounded like every room had the stereo on full volume playing a different song. 

Yogurt was hurrying towards them, grimacing at the cacophony. Casey reached out and grabbed him as soon as he was close enough and pulled him into the room. 

By the time the final track on the CD wound down, all but Ric and Yogurt had collapsed onto the furniture. Billy reached over and switched off the stereo, then dropped back into the chair with a happy sigh. 

"Who's hungry?" Casey asked from where he lay sprawled across the end of the bed. 

Snuffy raised his hand, followed by Billy, then Yogurt and Ric. Casey looked over at Zeke who was smiling and shaking his head. 

"What?" 

"You'd think all we ever do is eat, Case." 

Billy snorted and Snuffy rolled his eyes. Casey tried to look innocent. 

"We're teenagers, Zeke. We're supposed to eat all the time." 

"Thank you, Mr. Spock," Billy sniped. 

"That's Dr. Spock." Snuffy tapped Billy with his foot. Billy kicked back and then reached out and pulled Yogurt between him and Snuffy. 

"For humans, yeah... but we're not sure Billy..." Casey's words were cut off as Billy reached over and pretended to strangle him. Yogurt just laughed and moved closer to where Snuffy was perched on the edge of Billy's Desk. 

"Low blood sugar can lead to random acts of violence," Snuffy said calmly, watching the show. 

Zeke just sighed and stood up, digging into his jeans pocket for his car keys. 

"Come on, time to feed the wild animals." 

"Hey!" Billy and Casey chorused in protest. 

XXXXX 

"You're spoiling us, Zeke." Snuffy leaned back in the old lawn chair and sighed in contentment. "I'm going to miss this house and your cooking when I'm off at college." He turned his face into the cooling breeze, lifting his arms up for a stretch. Yogurt reached over and caught Snuffy's empty paper plate before it blew away. 

"Thank Ric. The cookout was his idea. I just cooked the burgers." He looked over at Billy and raised his voice a bit. "That doesn't mean I'm doing all the cooking." 

"What?" Billy said innocently. "Did I say anything?" 

Snuffy laughed. "Better expect a lot of mac and cheese." 

"Hey!" 

"Soup," Ric suggested. 

"Hey!" 

"Peanut butter and jelly," Yogurt chimed in, laughing. 

"Hey!" Billy harumphed and stood up. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to this abuse. I'm off to find different abuse." Billy bounced off towards the summer house where Casey had disappeared a few minutes before. 

Thanks to Billy's dad, the inside and outside were freshly painted. The floors were scrubbed clean and the windows washed, but there wasn't much furniture. They'd managed to wrestle the old double bed up to the second floor along with a dresser missing only one drawer. They'd found some old sheets to use as curtains for the windows and around the toilet and sink that were tucked away in the corner on the first floor. There had been some straight-backed wooden chairs in the attic that had cleaned up okay. An old steamer trunk worked for a coffee table. 

Casey had found some cushions and a throw rug in the house and although they didn't match, it made the place look a bit more comfortable. He'd wanted to use sheets for curtains downstairs as well, but after watching Billy hem the ones upstairs with a stapler, he decided to wait and get some real curtains later. Preferably when Billy ran out of staples. 

"Thinking of moving out on us?" 

"Nah, just wondering if this would be okay, just temporary. In case somebody needed a place to stay for a day or two." 

"Maybe Stokely or her 'Aunt'?" Billy looked around. "It's okay, but there are plenty of rooms in the house." 

"I know, but..." 

"Too weird?" 

"Definitely." 

"You think she'll really come?" 

Casey looked away, shrugging. 

Billy threw his arm around Casey and steered him towards the door. "You know what I think?" He stopped and looked into Casey's eyes. "I think it won't matter one bit how fancy this place is. She'll be so busy spending time with you she won't even notice. Zeke and I plan to be very jealous." 

Casey smiled weakly and looked away. 

"Come on, it's time for the ritual sacrifice of marshmallows." 

"Got chocolate and graham crackers for s'mores?" 

"You kidding? Of course. That's like basic survival rations. And, I might add, the only acceptable way to eat marshmallows." 

"I like the way you think, Billy." 

Billy smirked. "I knew it. You only love me for my mind." He half-draped himself over Casey and batted his eyes. 

Casey just snickered and shook his head. "Lead the way..." He paused for effect then added the nickname he'd given Billy a few months earlier... the one Billy hated... "Mal!" 

He was off and running as soon as he spoke, Billy's outraged, "Hey!" chasing him across the lawn.


	52. Chapter 52

"And you must be Casey." The short, slightly rumpled woman swooped in and gathered Casey in a tight hug. "Billy has told us so much about you, dear." Over her shoulder Casey made a face at Zeke who was trying to conceal a smirk. 

"Mother... oxygen," Billy teased in a voice full of mock annoyance. 

The ex-Mrs. Tepper tightened her grip one last time before letting Casey go. She stepped back and smiled warmly at him. "Nonsense, Billy. He needed a good hug. You all do." And before he could react, it was Zeke's turn. He leaned into the embrace, smiling a little despite himself. 

"Lovely to meet you, Zeke." Billy's mother released Zeke and turned back to Billy who got another hug. Billy's step-dad arrived and she finally let go. 

"Look at you, so grown up." She shook her head, obviously trying not to get too emotional. "Thomas, come meet Billy's friends." 

Billy's step-dad shook hands with the three young men, smiling pleasantly and repeating their names. He accepted Billy's offer and took a seat on one of the desk chairs while Billy's mom sat next to Billy on his bed. 

"Looks like you've already moved out, this room is so empty." She turned to Casey. "Will we get to see your house? I'd like to see where Billy will be living." She leaned forward and lowered her voice to a stage whisper. "In case I need to drop in unannounced or something." 

"Mom!" Billy protested. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked like an outraged three-year-old. "You still gonna be doing sneak attacks when I'm 30?" 

"Of course, Billy. You'd be disappointed if I didn't. Wouldn't he, Casey?" 

Casey just laughed and shook his head, looking like he did not want to get in the middle of that discussion. 

"So Zeke, Billy tells that you're going to working at a music store this summer. Think you can keep an ear out for any interesting new jazz? I'm always looking for new artists." 

"Sure, Mr...." 

"Matthews, Zeke. Thomas Matthews. Only been married to Billy's Mom for about a year now so he's still not used to introducing us." He looked over at Billy and laughed. "Right Billy?" 

Billy nodded and looked towards the door as if he were measuring his chances for escape. 

"So you'll keep your ears open for me?" 

"Ah... sure." 

Casey looked over at Zeke, his smile fading just a bit. Despite his smile and casual pose, Zeke looked tense. He was leaning against the desk, but his shoulders were held taut and his eyes were dark. Casey shifted and gave Zeke a look that clearly meant he wanted out. 

The clatter of high-heeled shoes crossing the wooden floor echoed in the sudden, awkward silence. 

"There you are!" The new voice was high- pitched and falsely cheerful and Zeke flinched as if someone had scratched fingernails across a chalkboard. Despite himself, he almost laughed at Billy's expression. 

"William, you look wonderful!" the new arrival chirped, brushing past Billy's mother and grabbing Billy's face in a pinch. "You've grown." She turned back towards the doorway where Billy's father waited, looking less than willing to enter the crowded room. 

"Look how he's grown, dear." Billy's dad just nodded. Zeke could see Casey struggling not to laugh at the range of expressions on Billy and his parents. Definitely time to get out of there, before Case broke out into giggles or something. 

Billy's description of the Step-mother from Hades wasn't too far off; she was petite, with a mass of elaborately coiffed blonde hair and at least five pounds of jewelry. She was overdressed in expensive clothes and she had on a bit too much makeup to look elegant. She reminded Zeke of his mother in those portraits of his parents that arrived every Christmas along with a gift check. 

Standing so close together, it was startling how different Billy's mother and step-mother were. His mother was a bit dowdy, but smiled warmly while the step-mom was almost magazine perfect with a smile as artificial as her hair-color. 

"Why, these adorable boys must be the roommates." The step-mother swooped towards Zeke and he flinched. 

"Perhaps we should visit later?" Billy's father offered mildly. He was broad- shouldered and imposing but his face was kind, with lots of laugh lines around his eyes, and he spoke softly. Zeke could imagine Billy looking a lot like that in the distant future. 

Casey took advantage of the sudden lull to cross the room and grab Zeke's arm. "It was very nice to meet all of you. I'm sure we will see you tomorrow. Zeke and I had better go or we'll be late. We're staying at the house tonight, Billy. See you back here tomorrow at nine." 

Mr. Tepper stepped aside and allowed their retreat before anyone could protest. As they passed, he grinned. 

XXXXX 

The music was loud enough to rattle the car windows, making it impossible to talk. Casey was pretty sure Zeke wanted it that way. He leaned back in the seat and tried to relax despite the fact that he was getting a headache. 

It wasn't a stretch to figure that Zeke's mood was a result of the Invasion of the Parents. Snuffy had been joking about it last night, but even then Zeke hadn't been amused. 

Casey wondered how they would get Zeke through the next few days; both sets of Billy's parents had decided to stay for a visit. 

Well, at least the house was clean. 

XXXXX 

"Want a sandwich? We've got ham and turkey." 

"No, thanks." Zeke paced the floor restlessly, seemingly unable to find anything to do. Casey tried to ignore it, hoping he would settle down on the porch with a book or go work in his "studio" as Casey insisted on calling it. 

They'd fooled around a little when they first got to the house, but Zeke had been edgy and it was over too quickly. Casey missed Billy's playfulness and odd sense of humor; he was really good at drawing Zeke out of a dark mood. 

They had both been unsatisfied and irritable when they got out of bed and wandered back downstairs. Casey was determined to get them back on track and thought food might help. If he could get Zeke to eat without irritating him. Which didn't seem likely. 

With a sigh, Casey built his sandwich and put the fixings away. Snagging an apple from the basket on the counter he took his plate out to the porch to eat. 

The rocking chair was old but it was more comfortable than it looked. Casey rocked slowly as he ate, enjoying the gentle breeze; it was sunny and nicely warm. He stayed on the porch for a while after eating, letting his mind drift. 

Zeke had retreated to his studio in the barn and there were distant thumps and bumps that Casey decided not to think about. He closed his eyes and tried to relax, slipping into one of his favorite daydreams. 

Eyes closed and thoughts far away, Casey didn't realize that Zeke was approaching until he stomped up the porch steps and past, letting the screen door slam. 

Cautiously Casey followed, hoping he could read his lover well enough to find a way to calm him. He approached slowly, studying the tension in Zeke's back and neck as the older man looked down at the piano, one hand hovering over the keys. 

Without speaking, Casey reached out to lightly touch Zeke's arm. When he wasn't rejected, he moved closer. 

"Case." Was it a warning or a plea? Taking a chance, Casey leaned up and pressed a kiss to Zeke's shoulder. The muscles were like steel. 

"Zeke." An invocation. 

For just a second the tension eased and Casey pressed closer, wanting to hold Zeke. He didn't feel the change until almost too late. 

Startled when Zeke pulled away sharply, Casey took a step back. For a few seconds he didn't register the anger on his lover's face. 

"Don't." Zeke snapped at him, fury radiating from his rigid body. He looked around as if caged. 

Ignoring his instincts, Casey reached out to him; Zeke's reaction proved that it was a mistake. Fear turned Casey's blood cold. 

Strong fingers curled into the fabric of Casey's shirt and immediately he responded. He hunched his shoulders protectively and lifted his head, careful to keep his gaze down. Long years had trained him and he reacted without hesitation. Better to get this over with than prolong the pain. 

It registered only dimly in the back of his brain that the fingers holding him at striking distance belonged to his lover. He could feel the anger radiating from the other man. 

Perhaps it wouldn't hurt too much. 

But... something was wrong. There was too much time and no pain. Startled, he looked up. 

"F---!" 

The fingers holding him let go and Casey stumbled backwards, bumping into a chair and almost falling. At the last instant, he caught himself, grabbing blindly at the furniture while his eyes locked onto Zeke's. 

Time stopped, suspended, then moved forward again, seemingly at the wrong speed. 

Casey watched as Zeke dropped the hand that had been raised to strike and turned, storming out of the house. He listened as the stream of obscenities receded, punctuated by the slamming of a car door and then the roar of the GTO as it left him behind.


	53. Chapter 53

Dust particles hung suspended like dirty gems against the crystal blue sky. Casey stared at them, enthralled, oblivious to everything else. 

Nothing broke the spell. Not the sound of the approaching car that he'd waited for all night; not the sight of the black machine skidding to an angled stop; not the smell of the coffee and pastries that Zeke held out as a peace offering; not even the whisper touch of breath across his cheek as Zeke leaned close in concern. 

Nothing. Senses weakened by worry and fatigue were vulnerable to pale enchantments and Casey could not free them on his own. 

"Case." 

A counterspell pressed into his mouth by a gently seeking tongue, sealed in place with tender lips. 

He came back to himself gradually, the moist warmth of Zeke's kiss bringing the tingle of returning awareness, like the pins-and-needles prickle of circulation. 

One by one the other senses woke: the feel of skin and cloth, the familiar, comforting smell of coffee and cigarettes and Zeke, the sound of steady breathing and soft words and oh, the glorious vision of that beautiful smile when Zeke stepped back. 

"Hi." 

"Today's the big day," Zeke prompted gently, noting but not commenting on the fact that Casey was sitting on the porch, wrapped up in a blanket still wearing the same clothes he'd had on the previous day. It wouldn't be much of a stretch to conclude he'd spent the night sitting in the rocker, waiting for Zeke's return. 

One more mess-up to add to the very long list. 

"You brought pastries," Casey noted absently as if he were unaware that that they were going to be late for their graduation. 

"Three different kinds. Let's get ready and we can eat in the car. Billy's going to kick both our butts for being late." 

Casey just shrugged and took a sip of the coffee Zeke brought. It was black with no sugar and Casey made a face. 

"Shower first, Case. Sugar fix second, okay?" 

Casey set the coffee aside and stood, shrugging off the blanket before going inside to the upstairs bathroom. Zeke followed, frowning at the other man's unhesitant obediance. 

He was still frowning when they returned to the kitchen fifteen minutes later clean and dressed. Casey was in full "good puppy" mode, doing whatever he was told, and Zeke was ready to scream. He had thought they were past this stuff. 

Sugar and caffeine seemed to help somewhat, although Casey still couldn't seem to rouse himself completely from whatever trance he was in. His body was oddly still, moving only as much as necessary to propel himself out of the house, across the lawn and into the car. He made no attempt to change the music, his usual first priority whenever riding with Zeke. 

Zeke tightened his hands on the steering wheel and resisted the urge to press the gas pedal to the floor, tilt back his head and curse at the gods. 

"Will she be there?" 

Zeke cast a startled look over at his passive lover, unsure that the voice he'd heard was Casey's; it was so achingly tentative. 

"She'll do her best, Case," Zeke eased his grip on the steering wheel and slid one hand over to rest on Casey's knee. Even after the hot shower, the young man felt so cold. Zeke rubbed a circle over Casey's knee and thigh. "It will be all right." 

Without looking he could feel Casey's eyes piercing him, searching for truth and reassurance. It made Zeke feel even worse. He had no excuse for his behavior the previous night; certainly nothing that would ever justify how close he'd come to striking his lover. That Casey had already forgiven him only damned Zeke more. 

"Don't," Casey said firmly, his hands capturing Zeke's right hand in an almost painful grip. After a moment he loosened his hold, caressing the hand before letting go. "Don't punish yourself for last night, Zeke." 

Zeke glanced over at Casey once more, then returned his attention to driving. Traffic was heavier as they neared the school and he needed to concentrate. It wasn't until they were pulling into the student parking lot that he finally nodded. "I'll try." 

Casey waited until the car engine stopped, then slipped out of his seatbelt. He pressed a kiss against Zeke's jaw, then slid back and opened the door. 

"That's all I'll ever ask," he assured the older man as they were swept up into the circle of their friends.


	54. Chapter 54

"Well look who decided to join us." Billy smirked at the pair as he shoved their caps and gowns at them. "Come on before Parker decides he likes us too much to let us graduate." Together they started towards the area of the gym where the graduates were to line up. 

"I wouldn't worry too much about that, Mr Tepper," Dean Parker interrupted, placing his hand lightly on Billy's shoulder. "I never interfere with miracles, and you graduating just might qualify." He leaned closer and spoke loudly by Billy's ear, but for the benefit of the whole group of boys. "That is, if I can get all of you to get in line." 

A chorus of "yes,sir", "right away,sir" and even a snappy "aye, aye, sir" complete with salute sent the Dean on his way as the boys hurried into their places in the gym. Snuffy lingered behind with Casey, helping him into his gown and adjusting his cap. 

"Long night?" he asked quietly when Zeke was several long strides ahead. After a few beats of silence he added, "Not in a good way?" 

"It's ok, Snuffy," Casey replied softly, his eyes catching his friend's for just a moment before sliding away. There was a moment of connection there, of wistful sadness and what ifs that would never be spoken aloud; thoughts of people and events that had changed them all so much, and set them so far apart. 

"I told you not to get him started on that boxers or briefs discussion again," Snuffy offered at last, a barely concealed grin tugging at his mouth. 

"You know Zeke doesn't wear either," Billy sing-songed, catching the conversation as Casey and Snuffy rejoined the group. "Cause he's sooo jealous of my complete line of Marvel Superhero boxers." 

"Nah, it's because he can't handle those big decisions." Ric took up the familiar boxers versus briefs taunt while Zeke just smirked and looked away. After a moment he looked back, tassle swinging absurdly over the edge of his cap. 

"Your jealousy is so transparent, boys." He regarded them all calmly then looked around at the groups of boys slowly resolving themselves into an orderly arrangement. "Time to line up like good little soldiers." He brushed a hand against Casey's arm as they passed each other. 

XXXXX 

Zeke supposed that one of the advantages of graduating from a small school like this was not having to watch hundreds of students go get their diploma. On the other hand, the speeches seemed that much longer to make up for it. Could this guy talk any slower? 

He silently recited the names of all the graduates in alphabetical order by last name - comma - first name. Then he concentrated on not tapping his foot or fingers, not picking at the sleeve of his gown and above all not standing up and screaming. 

Problem was, each and every speaker was droning on about time to reflect and that was exactly what he didn't need; he'd had too much time for that last night, parked off in the middle of the woods, too frozen to go on and too tangled up in his head to go back to Casey. 

"Shit," he muttered under his breath, earning a look from Toynbee, Walter and Williams, Franklin. He ignored them and pretended to care that the current speaker was quoting Ronald Reagan or Winston Churchill or whoever it was they were quoting. 

He could feel Billy watching him from a few seats away and willed away the flush of discomfort that burned his neck. He felt like a fly trapped under a magnifying glass in the hot sun, being scrutinized for all of his flaws, burning up in the oppressive heat. 

What was he doing here? 

Under the cloudless blue sky, surrounded by the well-kept greens of the school, he felt as trapped as he'd ever been inside the concrete hell of 

Herrington High. As trapped as the night that creature had almost destroyed them. 

The night that everything had gone so wrong but he'd been a hero. How completely selfish he was to wish that it hadn't ended; that he could have kept on being the one in charge, the one everyone, especially Casey, looked up to. How could he ever tell Casey the truth? 

"Tyler," Toynbee was hissing at him, gesturing for him to stand up with the others and begin the slow forward procession to claim his diploma. 

Billy's hand came out of nowhere, a steadying gesture of reassurance that pulled Zeke back into the now. He took a couple of deep breaths and blew them out slowly, keeping his eyes trained on the back of Toynbee's head. 

It would be all right if he didn't think too much, didn't over-analyze. It would be all right. 

It. 

Would be. 

All. 

Right. 

And then he was holding something and following Toynbee again and Billy was just ahead, half-turned and smiling with a goofy thumbs-up gesture that finally let Zeke breathe again. 

The concluding remarks were mercifully short and as the graduates were presented, Zeke felt the last of his dark mood slide away. The sun was high overhead and he wanted to throw off the black gown and lay himself out on the grass, preferably with a person or two curled up beside him. 

"Hey!" 

Zeke turned, arms stretched skyward to release the tension of the last hour. Hank was closing fast, his gown already loosened, and he was carrying his cap. 

"Zeke, come on, I want you to meet my parents. Casey and Billy are already there." 

"Sure, man." Zeke followed along gamely, willing to play the parental suck-up game for a few minutes. After all, he wouldn't exactly be living next door to the guy any more. 

"So was that speaker a total snore or ..." Hank was saying as they rounded the corner of the science building to where his family was waiting. Zeke followed, but stopped cold at the sight. 

"No way," Zeke cut Hank off. 

"Zeke." A beautiful woman stepped forward, arms upraised just slightly in greeting, a handsome man just behind her. 

"No fuckin' way." 

"Zeke?" The woman took another step forward, hesitating now. Her smile frozen into a mask and her eyes almost fearful. 

"Son," the handsome man said calmly, moving to the woman's side. He exuded calm and control, but there was the tiniest of uncertainties behind those eyes. This was not the reception he expected. 

"What is this?" Zeke demanded, backing up another half-step, only to encounter brick. He looked wildly, left then right, desperate to escape, but Hank blocked him on the right and Casey and Billy were now on his left. 

"Zeke?" Casey was touching his arm, leaning in close and speaking urgently, eyes serious. "It was my idea. I asked Hank. Don't be upset. Please? Just..." Casey looked over at the distraught couple "...talk to them, okay?" 

Zeke looked deep into Casey's eyes, then up at the assembled crowd, noting the absence of one person - Casey's mother. He looked over at Billy who shrugged, then looked back at Casey and nodded slowly. 

"For you, Case." 

"No, Zeke. For you, or not at all." Casey squeezed his arm lightly then stepped back. 

Zeke wanted more than anything to sweep Casey and Billy up into his arms and kiss them both breathless. Instead, he pushed himself away from the building and took two steps towards his parents. 

"This is a surprise." 

"Hopefully a good one?" his mother asked, taking a tentative step forward and reaching up to touch his face. There were tears in her eyes. Zeke couldn't remember having ever seen her cry. He leaned over and brushed a kiss against her cheek. 

"I'm glad you're here." 

Suddenly he was enveloped in two sets of arms, surrounded by touch and scent that he shouldn't have remembered, but did. Just for this moment, he held on tight and didn't let himself think about anything.


	55. Chapter 55

"We did good?" Hank teased, elbowing Casey in the ribs. It was Hank's father and his diplomatic connections that had enabled the boys to contact Zeke's parents and make the arrangments to get them to the school in time for the graduation. 

"We did good," Casey agreed hopefully as he watched the reunion between Zeke and his parents unfold. A part of him wanted to turn away because it hurt to see someone else have what he wanted so much, but he believed that Zeke needed this more than even he did. And unlike himself, Zeke had a real chance of having it. 

"Hey, I hate to do this, but I gotta go. The parents want to go do the photo thing. We'll see you at the house later, okay? Talked Pops into springing for seafood so make sure you're hungry." Hank waved and hurried over to his parents who had been waiting patiently for him, cameras at the ready. 

Casey watched as Hank and his family left, then suddenly realized how awkward his position was, standing here alone surrounded by all these families. He turned, intending to slip away quietly when Billy caught his his arm. 

"Hey, Casey, look, I'm gonna go with the parental units for a while - take pictures and all that. See you back at the house, okay?" Billy grinned at Casey and hurried away, acting as if he were being dragged, then trading fake punches with his dad. His mother and step-father walked ahead talking and his step-mother minced carefully behind, nose scrunched up delicately as if the whole school smelled faintly unpleasant. 

Casey looked over at Zeke and his parents. There seemed to be an invisible line dividing the two adults from Zeke. Zeke was tense and Casey could see that he was struggling to remain calm. 

Hesitating just a moment, Casey moved slowly towards the trio, hoping that he had made the right decision. Without a word he stopped beside Zeke, careful to maintain a proper distance between their bodies; it wasn't his place to reveal Zeke's life to his parents. 

Zeke looked over at Casey and managed a smile. He reached out and placed a hand lightly on his shoulder, apparently needing the contact, yet not able to make himself vulnerable to these relative strangers. 

"Mom, Dad, meet Casey Conner. He's from Ohio too. You won't remember, but I told you about him." 

"Casey, it's a pleasure to meet you at last. I understand there will be a party at your house later today." Zeke's mother's hand was cool and soft and Casey felt awkward touching it, as if he might accidently break it in his clumsiness. By contrast, Zeke's father's hand was warm and strong, with a firm, confident handshake that almost made Casey wince. 

"Yes, ma'am. I hope you can join us. It won't be fancy, but there will be plenty of food and you can meet the rest of Zeke's friends." 

"Will your parents be joining us, Casey?" 

"I... I don't think they can make it, sir. Unexpected emergency. You understand." Casey couldn't meet either set of those eyes. Especially not Zeke's mother's - so much like Zeke's, and her smile - there was pain and distance there that hurt Casey and he wanted very badly to turn away into the shelter of Zeke's embrace. 

"They know all about that, Case. Don't you, Mom? Dad?" Zeke's voice was cold and it chilled Casey. He was beginning to wish that he'd never thought of inviting these people here, let alone followed through with the idea. 

"Zeke..." Mrs. Tyler's voice was seductively soft even when reprimanding and Casey couldn't help but think of his own mother's much harsher voice. Beside him, Zeke tensed even more, and Casey wondered how long it would be before he snapped. 

"In fact," Zeke continued, "they probably have an emergency of their own right now. Something much more important and meaningful than being here; lives to save, injustices to document, important people to spend time with." Zeke gestured towards the main entrance. "Go on, you've seen the kid, you can get back to your real lives now." 

"Ezekiel!" 

"Do not call me that, Mother. In fact, don't call me anything. Come on, Case, let's go home." 

"Zeke." Zeke's father was in front of them, reaching out to Zeke, trying to stop him, but Zeke just pushed past him and kept walking. Casey stood, torn between following Zeke and trying to smooth things over with Zeke's parents. After a second's hesitation he dug into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled invitation. 

"Here, on the back's directions to the house. Let me talk to him." He hurried after Zeke's retreating form, hoping that the parents would give them some time before attempting to follow. If they followed. 

Why did everything he did get so screwed up? 

XXXXX 

"Mr Conner, there you are" Dean Parker intercepted Casey as he rounded the main academic building, heading for the parking lot. He'd lost sight of Zeke and was hoping that he wasn't stranded at the school. 

"Dean Parker, I have to go." Casey was breathing hard, almost gasping with the effort of dodging parents and students in his pursuit of Zeke. He hadn't taken the time to remove his graduation gown and he could feel the sweat sticking his shirt to his skin under the uncomfortably heavy material. 

"Casey" The dean started to lean close, then seemed to change him mind. "It can wait. I'll see you at the house this afternoon?" 

"Yes, sir." 

"I'm bringing a surprise." 

"Sir, you don't have to bring anything." 

"I know. But I think you'll like this. Now hurry, I believe Mr Tyler is waiting for you." 

Casey turned fast and Zeke was indeed waiting impatiently beside his car, a cigarette clutched defiantly between his teeth. 

Casey turned back to the Dean to say goodbye, but he had been surrounded by a group of parents and grandparents all shaking his hands and wanting to take his picture with their graduate. 

Casey waved to the Dean and hurried off towards the car and his lover, catching just a glimpse of Billy and his familial group. From the looks of things, they probably wouldn't see him at the house for a while - between them they seemed to have more film than Kodak. 

"Ready?" Zeke demanded as Casey approached, barely waiting for him to get into the car before roaring out of the parking lot. They rode in silence for a while, not even the radio turned on for distraction. It wasn't until Zeke turned the onto the secluded road leading to the house that he took one hand off the steering wheel and rested it on Casey's leg.


	56. Chapter 56

The warmth lingered on Casey's thigh long after Zeke returned his hand to the steering wheel to navigate the car up to the house and park. Although his mind was full of things he needed to do to be ready for the arrival of their guests, Casey couldn't help but smile. 

"Planning on sitting out here all afternoon?" Zeke teased. 

"Maybe," Casey answered lightly. "There's so much to be done I can't seem to get started." 

"I know how to solve that, come on." 

Zeke opened the car door and hauled himself out, slamming the door and hurrying around to meet Casey, who barely cleared the space before Zeke slammed the car door behind him. With a firm grip on Casey's arm Zeke half-dragged the smaller man towards the house, a poorly-contained grin on his face. 

"Things to do, Case. Mustn't dawdle." Zeke drawled thelast word in a perfect immitation of one of the lunch ladies at good old Herrington High. She was so predictable no one had been able to tell if the aliens had ever gotten to her or not. 

They raced each other up the stairs towards their bedroom, Casey finally having caught on to Zeke's plan. Caps, gowns and dress clothes were left behind them in a trail that ended at the shower, with only skin separating them. 

"They'll be here soon," Casey worried as Zeke turned him away from the spray and started soaping his back. 

"We'll be quick," Zeke assured him, his hands moving, fast and sure, while Casey sighed and pressed back against him, tilting his head up for a kiss. 

"Zeke..." 

"Shhh. I know." 

"Let me." Casey turned and took the soap, taking his own turn at washing his lover, hands moving quickly in the well-practiced patterns. It was different not having Billy here, but they could adapt. 

"All clean?" Zeke asked perfunctorily as he reached into the container next to the shampoo for the stash of condoms and lube. 

"We don't have time." 

"There's always time. Turn around." Zeke gently urged Casey to turn to face the glass, his back towards Zeke. That meant a fast, rough ride. Just the way they both needed it right now. 

Casey leaned forward, palms flat against the wet glass, head tilted back and slightly to one side, anticipating. His breathing quickened and he moved back to meet Zeke's warmth as those knowing hands traced familiar paths along Casey's skin. 

Zeke's left hand curved along Casey's waist while the right hand slid down to tease and prepare Casey for what was to happen next. 

Casey arched his back and made an impatient sound in his throat. Zeke just laughed and swatted his backside. 

"That won't help," Casey sniffed, shifting a little to rub the sore spot, pretending to be affronted. 

"You sure? We haven't tried that yet." 

"Don't even think... oh!" 

Zeke pinned Casey's wrists against the wall with one hand and used the other to guide himself as he impaled Casey. The height difference made this a bit of a challenge, but Zeke was up to it. 

Casey pushed back hard, demanding, and Zeke laughed, draping himself over Casey, still holding his wrists, but moving his free hand to Casey's erection and gripping it hard. 

Water beat staccatto against the walls and floor while skin slid against skin and incoherent moans sounded counterpoint. 

Intensity increasing. 

Crescendo. 

XXXXXX 

Sated and clean, wrapped in large towels, they stood in each other's arms a moment, resting, mouths pressed together, lazily exploring. Need building again, they gripped each other tighter, fingers pressing against flesh with intent to bruise, mouths wanting to consume, eyes meeting with understanding. Zeke tilted his head forward and pressed his fingers into the flesh at Casey's hips. 

"I want them to know about us." 

"Zeke, no. Your parents..." 

"Especially them. I won't hide us, Case. They didn't want me. We don't need them. But they are here, because of you." Zeke leaned forward and gave Casey a soft kiss. "So I'll give them a chance. For you and Billy. If they can't accept us, then they can walk away and they won't ever have to worry about me again. And we can forget all about them. It has to be this way, Case. I won't live my life surrounded by ghosts." 

"Ghosts?" Casey grinned, reaching up and grabbing the back of Zeke's head, pulling him down. "At least they aren't aliens." He started nibbling on Zeke's ear because Zeke couldn't resist that, then worked quickly down to his jaw to the neck. There was a long series of teasing nibbles and sucking almost-bites at the sensitive spot on Zeke's neck. Zeke shivered but remained compliant,running his hands over Casey's back and thinking of ways to return the favor when it was his turn. Finally Casey stepped back, the compulsion to claim Zeke as overwhelming as speech and thought. 

There were a few seconds of heavy silence and then the two were drawn together again, this time the positions reversed with Zeke as the possessor and Casey as the claimed. There was something primal here, some dark need set loose that neither was quite strong enough to control. 

Weakened and a little dazed, they broke apart, stumbling away from each other, then turning back because they had to see... 

Beautiful. 

"Case." 

"Zeke." 

They reached for each other, needing to touch. Matching brands on the sides of their necks, dark purple and clearly visible above their collarlines. 

They kissed tenderly, fingers caressing the marks lightly so as not to cause any pain. 

"I love you's" breathed between them, sealed by kisses. 

Finally, reluctantly, they separated. Grinned liked fools and looked down. 

Damn. 

"Round two?" Zeke smirked, eyeing his own obvious erection, and then Casey's before looking up and licking his lips sensually. 

"Don't get started again or we'll be fucking in the front yard when everyone arrives." Casey smacked Zeke just for good measure. "Go... think about tomatoes or something." 

"Tomatoes?" Zeke asked, boggled by the concept. 

"Think about it, Zeke. Billy and those tomato plants he's always going on about. I swear he was reading a 400 hundred page book on them last week. We're doomed. I don't even like the things all that much." Casey shrugged. "He's already planning out the spring planting for next year." 

Zeke shook his head ruefully and looked down. "Great, now I'll be afraid of catsup. Look what it did." 

Casey leaned over and hugged him. "Don't worry, I know the secret. If you're really good I'll show you later. But for now, we'd better get that food ready. Billy will think we were fooling around." Dried and dressed, Casey picked up the towels and straighted up the bathroom. 

"Billy will be right," Zeke pointed out. "We were fooling around." Zeke pulled on his clothes then straightened up the bedroom and gave it one last critical look. "What do you think? Good enough for company?" 

"Good enough for people who have no business snooping in our bedroom. We ought to leave a few of Billy's dirty socks around. That would discourage anyone who wants to snoop." 

"These are parents, Case. They're immune. Come on, I'll get the grill going. You want to get the crackers and stuff out?" Zeke bounded down the stairs two at a time with Casey following behind at a slower pace, reviewing the menu in his head. Just as Zeke stepped off the last step he caught his reflection in a picture frame. He raised a hand to his neck and thoughtfully caressed the mark there, smiling as he headed towards the porch.


	57. Chapter 57

"Nice," Snuffy commented as he leaned past Casey to grab a baby carrot. He lingered, studying the purple mark on Casey's neck, completely aware of Casey's discomfort at having his personal space invaded and completely unconcerned.

The paring knife was set down with more force than necessary and Casey took a step back, face burning. "Just... don't, okay?"

"Maybe I'm not the one you should have said that to." Snuffy popped a cucumber slice into his mouth and chewed deliberately. "Your timing sucks."

"You wouldn't understand."

Snuffy snorted and looked out the window. The discomfort stretched out between them while sounds of activity drifted in from the yard. Billy's dad had arranged for a tent, tables and chairs and the yard  
was a chaos zone as everyone present was trying to be helpful with getting them set up - except for Zeke and Billy's step-dad, who were tending to the grill. Zeke's parents hadn't arrived yet - if they were  
indeed going to show - and Hank and his dad had gone to get the shrimp and a few last minute necessities. The Dean was expected later along with his surprise guest. Friends would be stopping by throughout the day and the party was expected to go on until well after dark.

Snuffy looked over at Casey who had picked up the knife and was staring down at the blade, eyes unfocused. He shifted it back and forth, letting it catch the light.

"I don't have to understand," Snuffy conceded at last, reaching out and taking the knife, "but you do. You're not playing kid games here, Casey. You're playing with things that people a lot older than you wouldn't even attempt. You have the power to do real damage." Snuffy drove the knife deep into a tomato, shattering it, ripping it apart. He left it on the counter along with the red-tinged knife. "You're all my friends, but Billy was first. There won't be a choice if you or Zeke ever hurt him. Just so we're clear on things."

Their eyes met and Casey nodded before Snuffy brushed past and out of the kitchen, then out of the house leaving Casey feeling cold and very alone. He reached up and ran a hand over the mark on his neck and closed his eyes, almost wishing he could hide it.

An hour ago it had seemed so right, but as soon as Billy had seen the mark, everything had gone wrong. There had been hurt and accusation in those expressive eyes - as if they had deliberately left him out. How could they make him understand? They weren't trying to hurt him, but he had his parents, and his step-parents, and Casey and Zeke only had each other.

Casey looked at the tomato, its red liquid slowly oozing across the counter, the knife glittering dully in the center of it. He ran a hand across his scarred wrist absently and remembered the warmth of blood across his palm. He reached out and lay his hand flat in the middle of the ruins of the tomato, almost surprised to find it as cool as it was. He closed his eyes and considered the texture, letting himself just... go away for a minute. 

"What are you doing?"

He turned guiltily, pulling his hand away, knocking the knife to the floor and scattering the tomato remains. "Nothing! I just..."

Billy crossed the floor almost at run, grabbing a towel and yanking Casey's hand out, wiping and inspecting it. He was pale, his eyes wide.

"I'm okay," Casey whispered, feeling stupid, and angry with himself for upsetting Billy. "Billy..." He reached up with his other hand to touch Billy's face only to have Billy flinch away.

"Don't, Casey. You're not cut?"

"No, it's just tomato."

"You gonna tell me why you were playing 'smush the tomato'?" Billy looked down at the knife, then looked away.

"We're out of play-doh?" Casey offered, smiling weakly.

"Right. Remind me to replace all the sharp toys in here with plastic." Billy turned to go. Casey caught his hand and pulled him back. Billy frowned. Casey slid his hands into Billy's, interlacing their fingers  
and holding on tightly. He looked deeply into Billy's eyes, willed everything he could into that connection, not daring more with Billy's parents so close by.

Billy pulled his hands away without saying anything, his expression giving nothing away. 

"Billy," Casey whispered brokenly as his lover walked away, "we weren't trying to hurt you."

Billy paused in the doorway, then turned back, "I know. But it hurts anyway." He took a step back towards Casey, aware of the open windows and how easily sound carried. "It feels like I'm always being  
left out."

"Billy..."

"Left me finish..." Billy leaned in close and almost kissed Casey but stopped just short, sighing. "I'm just not brave enough, Casey. You don't know how much I wish I could ask you to mark me like that. We could go out there and face the parents together, honestly. But I can't do it. I just..."

The screen door at the front of the house opened and Billy pulled back abruptly. He looked at Casey sadly, picked up the vegetable tray and hurried outside, leaving Casey alone to clean up the mess.

"There you are, Casey." Billy's mom bustled into the kitchen and opened the freezer, taking out an ice cube tray. She frowned a little at the last of the tomato remains he was clearing away but didn't comment or slow her actions.

"Didn't we get enough ice?" Casey asked as she twisted the tray to loosen the cubes, dropping two each into two glasses and filling them with iced tea from the fridge.

"Oh, there's plenty out there, but we're in here and you look like you could use something to drink." 

"Thank you, ma'am." Casey was grateful for the cool wet in his tight throat. He felt like he might cry. The last few days had been very long and he was exhausted. All he wanted was for everyone to go home so he could climb into bed with Billy and Zeke and sleep.

"Well, the tent's all set up, the tables and chairs are in place. The grill's going and there's plenty of meat. Hank and his dad brought shrimp and salmon. We've got potatoes in foil baking, plenty of salads.  
You made that huge vegetable tray, dear. Chips and dip, of course. Plenty to drink. Desserts. What else? Utensils. Napkins."

Casey stood back and watched as Billy's mom took a tour of the kitchen, continuing her absent-minded inventory. Finally she seemed satisfied that there was nothing that she'd forgotten. She smiled and leaned against the counter, taking up her glass of tea and considering Casey. 

"This is a lovely house. It was your Grandparents' ?" 

"Yes, on my mother's side." Casey looked around, trying to see the place with someone else's eyes. Even with the fresh paint and new details it felt old and cozy. Comfortable.

"It's too bad your parents couldn't be here today. Such a shame they had to miss your important day." She smiled thinly and took a sip of tea but Casey felt the weight of her gaze on him. He nodded and took a drink of his own.

"It's very kind of you to allow Billy to live here while he goes to college, Casey. He had such a difficult time settling in to school a few years ago, his father and I had a hard time imagining he'd ever   
graduate let alone go on to college. He doesn't make friends easily." She leaned forward and set the tea down on the table, moving close to Casey, speaking almost confidentially as she did. He moved back. "After that incident last year when his friend was killed, well, we were very concerned. As his parents, we want to make sure that he succeeds - that he has a good future ahead of him. He's been confused and angry and rebellious for a long time. Normal for a boy like Billy. But now that he's going to college, it's time for him to straighten up, you understand, and be serious about his life. He needs the right influences." 

Casey swallowed uncomfortably and took a long drink of his tea. He set his empty glass aside and looked at Billy's mother, who was smiling in a way that was not at all benign. She reached out and took his arm.

"Why don't you show me the rest of the house now, dear, before the rest of the guests arrive?"

Casey nodded slowly and wished desperately for a diversion, anything to get him away from this woman.  
*****

Zeke wiped a hand across his forehead and stepped away from the grill. There was a pleasant breeze but it was hot in the sun and he'd been standing here for a long time. He realized that he hadn't seen Casey since they'd parted at the bottom of the stairs.

Knowing that Hank and his dad would keep an eye on the grill for a while, he took a quick survey and noticed that Billy's mom was the only other person absent.

He had the feeling that something was up, and hurried into the house. Voices alerted him to trouble as soon as he stepped inside. Upstairs. Their bedroom. Adrenalin surging, Zeke took the steps two at a time and burst into the bedroom. "There you are, Casey," he said, his voice deliberately loud.

"Zeke." Casey was on the far side of the room near the window, backed against the dresser in an oddly protective posture. Billy's mom stood in front and slightly to one side of him, as if she might actually  
try to push him aside and try to get at whatever she thought might be hiding in Billy's dresser. 

"Something I should know about?" Zeke pushed his way into the space between Casey and the woman. He tolerated their silence for an internal count of twenty and then he nodded once and took charge. He wrapped his long fingers around the back of Casey's neck, trying to gently rub away some of the tension there. He gave the younger man a reassuring smile before looking at Billy's mother. The smile he gave her was something else altogether.

"Since there's nothing that you need to share with me, I'm sure you'll understand when I ask you to respect our privacy." Zeke ran his hand lightly up through the back of Casey's hair, ruffling it, eliciting the same little shiver he always got when he did that. The woman tensed at the sight of such an intimate gesture. Zeke let his smile thin.

"You will excuse us now. Casey and I have something to discuss." 

Zeke watched, bracing himself as she prepared to attack, her face red, eyes narrowed, and mouth set into the stiff-jawed stubbornness that was so like her son, yet so unlike him in its utter hostility. Despite his tendency to react on impulse, Billy was a peaceful person - he didn't really like or want confrontation and he actually tried to avoid it whenever possible. His mother, on the other hand, seemed determined to pick a fight with Casey - the most passive person Zeke knew. Why?

They stared at each other, neither willing to yield until Casey shifted uncomfortably at Zeke's side and cleared his throat and asked, "You don't mind, do you?"

Billy's mother frowned, then nodded slowly, resuming her usual pleasant manner. "Of course not. I could use some more iced tea." She gave them both a hard look before turning and walking swiftly away and down the stairs.

Casey remained rigid, listening until he heard the telltale creak of the bottom step before turning and collapsing against Zeke's chest. He was almost vibrating with tension.

"Tell me," Zeke breathed into Casey's hair. 

Casey kept his face pressed against Zeke's chest and muttered, "I want them all to leave."

"Even Billy?"

"He's upset."

"I know."

"We shouldn't have." Casey shifted, reaching up to gently touch the mark on Zeke's neck. "I thought he would understand. I didn't think it would make him so angry. He feels left out. "

Over Casey's head Zeke caught a movement in the doorway and looked up to see Billy standing there, watching them, listening to Casey's words. 

Zeke continued to hold and soothe Casey as he answered, "That's Billy's problem, Case. Not ours. He has to learn to trust us. Now what did she say to you?"

Billy started at Zeke, then crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at his feet as Casey shook his head and pressed himself harder against Zeke. Zeke rested his cheek against Casey's head and stared at Billy, willing him to come and help. After an uncomfortable silence with Casey's face pressed against his chest Zeke startled them both when he prompted, "Case?"

"I don't want to think about it." Casey pulled out of Zeke's arms and turned towards the window. "They were just words."

Zeke moved closer and again wrapped his arms around the smaller man's body, holding him gently. "Words can hurt, Case. What did she say to hurt you?"

Large blue eyes looked up into brown, pleading. "Nothing that needs to be repeated. Please, let's just try and enjoy today. We're... today should be good." He looked past Zeke towards the doorway and saw Billy still standing there uncertainly. "Today should be a good day for all of us." 

Casey and Zeke turned, reaching out and Billy moved forward until they were entwined in a three-way embrace, bodies and mouths pressed together.  
*****

"Billy, come help me for a minute." 

Billy rolled his eyes and handed Snuffy his plate again. His mother had called him away so often he'd barely gotten to finish a bite or a sentence all afternoon. He couldn't blame Casey for sitting as far  
away from her as possible, keeping silent and watchful.

It was just after six and the serious eating had wound down long ago, although there was still plenty of food available. Most of the guests had come and gone. Zeke's parents hadn't shown, nor had the Dean and his guest. Most Regis friends had touched down long enough to eat and then took off to do more of the party circuit. Ric and Yogurt and Hank had gone to visit friends with a promise to return later that evening while their families had retired to their hotels, the lure of the swimming pool and air conditioning too strong on such a hot day.

By seven, the only people left at the party were Snuffy, Billy, Zeke, Casey and Billy's family. They were lounging around, some eating, some resting. Billy's step-mom was laying out in a bikini "working  
on her tan". Billy was disgusted and threatened to pour barbeque sauce on her - but only loud enough that his friends could hear. They'd finally decided that it would be a waste of perfectly good sauce. A volleyball net had been set up but it was really too hot to play, so it and the other lawn toys sat abandoned by the barn. 

Casey slipped away to his favorite chair on the porch for some solitude. He watched the others until he needed the diversion of his camera. He was just about to go get it when he noticed a faint cloud of dust in the distance over the trees announcing a visitor. 

He stood, moving towards the porch railing just as some of the others heard the sounds of the car approaching. Zeke hurried over, a expression of concern on his face. Casey held out his hand to him,  
ignoring the look that Billy's mother gave him. She'd been watching them all afternoon, and although she hadn't actually said anything to either Casey or Zeke, she'd made her disapproval clear. Her husband seemed either oblivious or more tolerant of the situation than she was, as he had been very pleasant to both boys. As for the others, either they didn't notice or were willing to ignore the way Billy's mother had been behaving towards Zeke and Casey. It was as though they were all determined to enjoy the day and Zeke, at least, was grateful for it. He could sense how uneasy Casey was and it had him worried. After everything that had happened in the last few weeks, especially the events of the last day, they didn't need this.

Casey's painfully tight grip eased as the Dean's familiar car pulled into the yard. Zeke looked down at him and smiled, pulling him closer and brushing a quick kiss across the top of his head, eyes casting  
defiance at Billy's mom as he did it.

As the Dean parked, a second car arrived, followed closely by a third. Parked side by side, they were an interesting contrast - the Dean's practical four-door sedan next to a luxurious black Mercedes and flanked by an improbable old junker. They were lined up parade-style in front of the barn, making the image even more incongruent. Casey's fingers itched for his camera and he couldn't help but look up at Zeke, who was wearing a knowing smile.

"You know you're hopeless, don't you? Of course you'll want both cameras for this and you finished the color film earlier." Zeke leaned down conspiratorially. "Good thing I already changed film, isn't it?" 

Casey grinned up at him. " 'S why we keep you around. You're so handy. Come on. We ought to go at least find out who's here before we take pictures of their cars."

They were barely off the porch when they heard Billy yelling, "Dean!" and saw their lover mock-wrestling with the normally quite dignified older man. Billy was grinning and saying something while the Dean had him in a headlock. After a moment, they stepped apart and the Dean greeted everyone.

"I was beginning to think I'd never be rid of you, Mr. Tepper," the Dean commented when he was finished greeting the parents. 

"Scared you, didn't I?" Billy teased. He gestured at Casey and Zeke who had joined them. "Worst of all - you might have been stuck with those jokers."

"He could only be so lucky," Zeke said dryly. The Dean just snorted. 

"Well, you're not quite rid of me yet, sir," said Casey, "and I'm afraid we do sort of come as a package. You are still going to accept our invitation to a dinner one of these evenings, aren't you?"

"I'm looking forward to it, Casey. But right now, there's someone here to see Billy." 

The driver of the second vehicle had been waiting beside its right rear door and, as if on cue, he opened it and his passenger emerged. He was fiftyish, and elegantly dressed, his face creased with age and  
worries and his movements slow. When he saw Billy, he smiled and his face transformed, making him appear years younger.

"Mr Trotta." Billy hesitated, then moved forward a bit stiffly, surprised and a little uncertain as to how to react to this unexpected visitor. The driver of the Mercedes stood close by while the driver of the  
junker remained inside the vehicle with the engine off, drawing curious stares from the rest of the group. After a pause, Billy held his hand out awkwardly and said, "It's very good to see you, sir."

Mr Trotta bypassed the hand and pulled Billy into a hug. "It's good to see you, Billy." He let go and took a step back. "You've grown."

Billy shrugged. "A little. I didn't know you'd be here, sir." Billy looked around at the others, wishing they'd go away so he could talk to Mr Trotta in peace. Some of them moved away immediately, and the Dean encouraged the others to move back to the picnic area so that Billy and his visitor could have some privacy.

For the next few minutes, Casey and Zeke made a pretense of being focused on getting the Dean settled, while in fact all three of them were hyper-conscious of the distant figures walking along the treeline. When Billy's mother interrupted - again – Casey finally gave up on playing host and excused himself, retreating into the house on some unnecessary errand. Zeke smiled and remained, counting silently to one hundred before making his own excuse and following his lover. 

Casey was not to be found in his favorite downstairs retreats; that meant he was upstairs, either in the bedroom or on the third floor. Given what had happened earlier with Billy's mom, Zeke bypassed the bedroom and went directly to the third floor playroom. He found Casey curled up by the window, tracing patterns in the dust on the windowsill.

"We have a dust buster, you know."

Casey shrugged.

"She's not right, Case. You know that."

Casey turned to look at him, eyes full of uncertainty. "How do I know that? How can we be sure? It's hard enough to balance things with two, how do we do it with three? We hurt him, Zeke. We didn't mean to, but we did." Casey touched the mark on his neck, as if to hide it and he looked guiltily at his lover. "I wanted this, and I was proud of it. Until I saw how it hurt him, Zeke. Then I almost hated it. I don't want to hate something that you gave me." Casey ducked his head looking down, aware that Zeke didn't like to hear things like this, but needing to say it. Casey looked up and shrugged, giving Zeke an almost apologetic smile. "I won't regret something we gave each other out of love, so we'd damn well better find a way to help Billy get over it. Right?" He tried for a laugh and failed, looking away, his gaze moving towards the window where Billy and the mysterious stranger were framed in the distance. "What if we have to let him go?"

Zeke fell to his knees beside Casey, cupping his face in his hands and turning it so they were facing each other. "Don't let her do this, Case. This is what she wants. We're stronger than this. You're tired and the last few weeks have been crazy. Just hold on a little longer - they'll all go home, things will settle down and everything will get back to normal. You. Me. Billy. I promise." Zeke leaned forward and drew Casey into a tender kiss.

He held the younger man tightly, refusing to look out the window to where Billy and the man were walking, where Zeke's promise could be turning into a lie even as it was given.


	58. Chapter 58

"I'm sorry I could not attend the graduation, Billy. I had other matters to attend to. But I wanted to see you, to wish you luck."

Billy returned Mr Trotta's smile and tried to ignore the bodyguard trailing behind, and the weight of the eyes upon them. He looked up towards the house and squinted, wondering if it were a trick of the light or if he really saw Casey at the upstairs window, watching.

Pushing those thoughts aside, he turned his attention back to Mr Trotta who was talking again, moving at a slow but steady pace. Joey's father had suggested that they walk on the pretext of stretching   
his legs, but more likely it was to give them some measure of privacy.

"You probably thought you'd never see me again after I collected Joey's things." The older man looked down at his feet for a moment, then back up, his gaze steady. "I wasn't exactly at my best then. I said some things I regret."

"Mr Trotta."

"Allow me to say this. I am a decisive person, Billy. I react quickly. That works in business but perhaps not as well in more.... delicate matters. You were my son's friend. His... lover. I had no right to try and keep you from his funeral."

Billy hunched his shoulders uncomfortably. "Sir, I... Look, I appreciate that you came here, but I really don't think that today is the best time to do this." He looked towards the house. His mother was standing on the porch looking in his direction and Billy had the sense that she was watching his every move. "It's just... we have to move on, right? Keep the good memories and all that?"

"That's part of why I'm here. I've brought you a graduation present."

Billy looked up at the taller man in surprise, then slowly turned to look back at the parked cars. He had a sudden suspicion as to what the gift might be and his throat tightened. Before he could speak,   
Joey's father started to explain. "Joey and I did not always get along, but I know how he felt about you." 

Billy looked over at the man, working hard to stay silent and hear his explanation. Joey's father smiled back sadly.

"It's only after my son's death that I learned to understand him, Billy. I read his books, listened to his music, looked at his drawings. He loved you." The words were drawn out of the man with pain but he  
looked at Billy with kindness. "And I think you loved him just as much in return."

"When I came to get Joey's things... I had no right to speak to you that way." Mr Trotta placed one hand on Billy's shoulder. "I apologized with words, then, not with my heart. Now I apologize with my heart. I only hope you will accept." Trotta placed his other hand on Billy's left shoulder and waited.

Billy cleared his throat uneasily and offered up a scratchy, "Sure."

Trotta removed his hands slowly. "You are a good man, Billy. My son was fortunate to know you. You are better now?"

"I'm fine." Billy forced a grin. "Graduated and everything."

"I was concerned." Trotta turned and looked back towards the house. "But it seems as if everything is working out for you." 

An awkward silence stretched out between them until, at last, Mr Trotta looked over at his bodyguard and nodded. They walked briskly back towards the parked cars. 

"I'm sorry I can't stay longer. I only wanted to come today to see you, to make sure you were all right. You see, my son... he loved this car." They stopped beside the old junker and the driver, who had   
been standing beside it, stepped forward and handed Billy the keys while Mr Trotta continued speaking. "Joey would want you to have his car, Billy."

Billy turned, not really shocked, but still not wanting the reality of this. "No! Mr Trotta, I can't."

"You can. You will. For Joey. Take care of it for him, Billy." Mr Trotta stepped back, looking at Billy and then the car for a moment. 

The sound of another car broke the awkward silence and Billy was thankful for the disturbance. He looked towards the house and realized that Zeke and Casey were approaching, as if sensing his need.  
Unfortunately, his mother was right behind them.

A tan Lexus roared into the clearing, raising dust and causing everyone to move back as it glided to a stop. Zeke was close enough that Billy could hear his muttered curse. 

"Fashionably late, as usual," Zeke muttered. "My parents always have to make an entrance."

"At least they came," Casey said soothingly, brushing a hand against Zeke's.

Zeke's whole body had tensed as soon as he realized that his parents had actually showed up. Casey moved closer, hoping to offer support without intruding. Billy was there, slightly behind the pair, caught between his desire to be with them and his need to complete the conversation with Joey's father.

"I should go." Mr Trotta gripped Billy's shoulders and pulled him in to kiss both cheeks. He released Billy and stepped back, his eyes fixed on Billy's face as if he was memorizing him. "All the information   
you'll need for the car is in the glove compartment. Treat it well."

Billy nodded and accepted the set of keys he was offered. He wanted to say something more, something that would let this man know how much he appreciated the gesture, even though accepting the car made Billy feel uncomfortable. It was like grave-robbing or something.

"Joey would want you to have this, Billy. Remember that." Without another word, Mr Trotta nodded to his hirelings and turned away. The bodyguard hovered as the man walked determinedly to his car and got into the back. The man who had driven Joey's car had already climbed into the other vehicle. Less than a minute later, the car was accelerating out of the driveway, leaving only dust behind.

"Do you know who that was?" Billy started at the demanding voice and turned to see that Zeke's mother had emerged from the car. Zeke's father trailed a few steps behind her, both of them overdressed in   
clothing more appropriate for a formal garden party than a picnic. They both appeared to be half-intrigued, half-repulsed by the visitor who had just left.

Billy joined his two lovers, ready to reply, but Zeke beat him to it. "Yeah, that was the father of Billy's old roommate. What about him?"

"Son, that was Albert Trotta, head of the --"

"We know who he is, sir," Billy interrupted. He was suddenly exhausted and was getting a headache. He was in no mood to discuss anything about the Trotta family.

"Surely that is not the kind of person with whom you've been associating while at this school." Mrs. Tyler studied the three boys with equal scrutiny before fixing her eyes on Zeke. 

"Nope," Zeke replied coldly. "Considering his son's dead." He looked over at Billy, telegraphing apology before continuing. "Not that his being here is any of your concern." Zeke ignored the brush of Casey's hand and crossed his arms. "Why are you here, anyway?"

"Do you always have to be like this?" Mrs Tyler complained. "You turn every conversation into an argument."

"Would that be all -- what, three conversations we've had in the last year? Wait, we talked earlier today. Make that four."

"Zeke."

"It's no wonder he is the way he is." Billy's mother had joined the group. "Faggots have no respect for anyone, not even themselves."

"Mother," Billy protested. He was appalled by her behavior. Despite his reluctance to out himself, he'd never really believed that his parents would turn out to be like Casey's. Yet there was his mother  
staring daggers at Zeke, denouncing Zeke before his own parents.

"What is she talking about?" Mrs Tyler took a step closer to her son, her eyes narrowing at the sight of the purple welt on Zeke's neck. She looked at Billy suspiciously, then at Casey, gasping when she saw the matching welt.

She pointed one elegantly manicured finger at Zeke. "What exactly is going on here?"

"What does it look like?" Zeke countered. He hated this, he hated that every single time he faced his parents there was a confrontation, but he had no idea how to break the habit. 

He felt the warmth of Casey's hand brush against his back and reached for it, grateful for Casey's strength. He drew the smaller teen closer and smiled down at him before looking up at his parents. He let his smile thin and harden. "I believe you've already met Casey... my lover?" 

"This is ridiculous!" Billy's mother exploded, disgusted by the boys and by the ineffectual protests of Zeke's parents. If no one else was going to put a stop to this outrage, she would. She stomped over  
to Billy and grabbed his arm, trying to drag him away.

"Come with me, Billy. We're packing your things and getting out of here. It was bad enough when I suspected, but now - I won't have you living with such - such filth!"

"Stop it!" Billy pleaded. He pulled out of his mother's grip and backed up. "Just stop it." He was almost whispering now, his eyes wild. The exhaustion, the chaos of graduation, the fear of being found out,  
the memories of Joey... It was too much.

"Billy," Casey said softly. He exchanged a quick look with Zeke, then slipped away from his side. He moved quietly towards the miserable boy, one hand slightly extended. Billy reached for it as if he were  
grasping for a lifeline.

"It's all right." Casey spoke only to Billy, ignoring the voices behind them. He held Billy's gaze as if his will alone could calm him. When their hands connected, he let Billy pull him in until they could wrap each other in a desperate embrace.

Billy buried his face against Casey's neck, breathing in his lover as if he had been oxygen-starved. They clung together while Zeke joined them, standing slightly apart, almost uncertain of his welcome.  
Taking a tentative step closer, he laid a hand against Billy's neck, letting it rest there in a calming gesture. 

"Zeke." Billy lifted his head from the haven of Casey's shoulder and looked over at the taller boy. It was clear what he needed.

"Shh. It's okay." Zeke leaned down and their lips met in the gentlest of kisses. Casey moved one hand to draw Zeke into the embrace. The trio held on to each other, blocking out everything beyond their   
circle.

Until they were torn apart by parents' fingers turned to talons that dug hard into arms and shoulders. Casey went first, dragged away by the fury of Billy's mother while Zeke's parents attempted to control their son.

Billy staggered back, eyes wide with the horror of his mother shaking Casey, shouting into his face. He felt suddenly ill, as if he might vomit or pass out. Desperately he looked for his father, hoping the  
same madness hadn't infected him.

"Stop it. Stop it. Stop!" he cried, launching himself into the nightmare, gripping his mother's arm and trying to pull her away from Casey. He was saying something, maybe screaming it, but he couldn't  
understand a word. 

"Billy, Calm down! Calm down!" Hands were on him again - hands that didn't belong to Zeke or Casey, and Billy reacted violently, jerking his body away. The hands captured him again, pulled at him. For a  
horrifying moment, he saw the face of Cali, the terrorist who had tormented him. 

Billy erupted, kicking and screaming, flailing his arms - anything to free himself from his captor. His vision blurred and the memory of being held down across the large wooden desk returned with   
frightening clarity. He could smell furniture polish, pen ink and blood.

Large hands caught his face in a gentle hold and a familiar voice pressed insistently against his ears. Another set of hands caught his and guided them to rest against yielding cloth-covered flesh. A second familiar voice joined the first.

Slowly he calmed, awareness returning in bits until he could comprehend what he was seeing and hearing. Zeke. That was Zeke talking. And Casey. Their voices, their warmth surrounding him, sheltering him. He sagged, trusting them to hold him upright while he gathered enough strength to face everyone.

"You're safe, Billy. It's okay. Breathe." Their voices were reassuring in a way Billy had never heard before. The feel of the Casey's heartbeat under Billy's palm helped to ease the fear until Billy could gather enough strength to face the assembled parents. He leaned to Casey and kissed his forehead while letting Zeke's embrace support him. 

It *was* okay. He could do this.

Billy eased out of the arms that had shielded him and turned to face the parents. He didn't expect to see his father and his step-father, both equally red-faced with anger, restraining his mother. They   
each held one arm tightly, while she struggled between them. A few feet away Zeke's parents watched, stunned. Snuffy, the Dean and Billy's step-mother stood further back, wearing expressions of shock and horror.

Billy's father released his ex-wife's arm, nodding his thanks to Billy's step-father before he approached Billy. Without a word he gathered his son into his arms and squeezed him fiercely. He pressed his face into Billy's hair and tightened his embrace, as if he was afraid Billy would disappear. Billy felt something wet on the top of his head.

"Dad," he whispered.

"I'm so sorry," Billy's father whispered. "Billy."

"It's okay, Dad. I'm okay." Billy clutched at his father's arms. It had been a long time since his father had hugged him like this. Billy could feel moisture pressing against the backs of his eyelids, threatening to spill over. He swallowed hard a few times and managed to force the tears back. He couldn't cry. There had already been too much upset on what was supposed to be a happy day.

"Casey, Zeke, get over here." 

Exchanging a glance, the two other boys moved closer to Billy and his father. They were surprised when he gathered them both in a hug, holding them tight before finally letting go. It was clear that he   
didn't like indulging in such displays, but his expression was determined. He looked at the rest of the group, who were watching with degrees of interest and concern.

"I'm going to say this once, Elizabeth... and anyone else who needs to get their heads clear about this. You don't have to like the boys' relationship, but I expect every one of you to support them."

Zeke opened his mouth to say something but Billy's father squeezed Zeke's shoulder and shook his head. Zeke closed his mouth without uttering a word.

"I've just heard a lot of nonsense today, so let me remind you of some truths. Last fall Billy was almost killed by terrorists. The same terrorists that killed his roommate, Joey. While we were waiting for   
news about our boys, Mr Trotta and I spoke briefly. We both learned a few things we didn't expect about our sons and their very close friendship. I doubt either of us were very happy at the time -- but tell   
me if that mattered to Mr. Trotta a day later when he found out that Joey was dead."

"Then a little while later I find out that my Billy's not doing so good." He reached for Billy's hand and held it tightly. "Billy needed help. But what could I do? What could anyone do?" 

Mr Tepper motioned towards the Dean. "So I had a long talk with the Dean. He told me about a transfer student, Casey Connor. Turns out Casey and Billy had a few things in common." Tepper placed a hand on Casey's shoulder and squeezed it lightly. It wasn't his place to speak about the dark place both boys had been in, but he felt it necessary to remind everyone how perilously close they had come to failing these young men. 

"I want all you wise parents to tell me what's more important? A child who lives the way we want him to, or a child who lives at all? Because less than a year ago there was a very real possibility that none   
of these kids was going to be alive to see their graduation day. Do any of you understand that?" 

"This is outrageous!" Billy's mother started to protest but Billy's her husband stopped her with a quick gesture. 

"Elizabeth..." Billy's step-father spoke quietly but firmly. "Billy is a bright young man with a promising future. You should be proud of him and the fine young men who are sharing his life. Their relationship might be a little unconventional, but from what I've seen, it's good for all three of them." His expression softened. "This has all been too much for one day. Why don't we go back to the hotel and get some rest. You'll feel better about everything tomorrow."

Elizabeth looked at her son, then back at her husband. The anger and hurt were slowly replaced with uncertainty. "I don't understand this. I just..." She slowly nodded. "Maybe you're right." She cast  
another look at Billy and the two other boys, then nodded to the group and let herself be led to the car. 

Everyone watched the couple leave. Only after the car had faded far into the distance did anyone speak.

"Man, Ric is going to be ticked off that he missed all of the excitement," Snuffy commented. "You guys throw a hell of a party."

"Family drama night on the farm, news at eleven," Billy intoned.

"Just so long as we don't end up on one of those daytime talk shows where they throw chairs," Casey said. "They'd probably bring in my dad as the surprise guest."

Zeke snorted. "Don't give anyone in this crowd ideas, Case." Zeke cast a look at his parents, who were speaking to Dean Parker. In an undertone he asked, "How soon can we ditch the parents? I need a drink!"

"That's not what *I* need," Billy countered, grinning.

"Whoa. Too much info," Snuffy said, making a time out motion with his hands. "I think that's my cue to leave. Don't want the parentals sending out the search dogs." He punched Billy lightly, then messed   
up Casey's hair just to tick him off. "We still on for tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yeah. See ya, Snuffy." Billy yelled as he, Zeke and Casey waved. For a moment, the boys were alone, and then Zeke's parents and the Dean approached. The Dean reminded Casey of their meeting in two weeks and left. Before his car was out of sight, Zeke's father spoke.

"You've always done things differently, Zeke. But this... I think your mother and I need time to absorb everything. We were planning on leaving tomorrow but maybe we'll stick around for a few days." He looked over at his wife for confirmation and she nodded once, almost managing a smile. He turned to Zeke. "If that's okay with you?"

Zeke nodded, his expression neutral. He was too raw right now to let himself feel too optimistic, but one tiny, rebellious part of his brain clung to a thought that maybe there was hope for his parents  
after all.

As if he knew what was in Zeke's mind, Casey reached over and squeezed Zeke's hand. Zeke smiled at him, then stepped forward towards his parents. "You didn't get to eat anything. Would you like cake or something? You could take it with you."

Zeke's mother started to refuse, then changed her mind. "Maybe something small?" She looked up at the darkening sky; it would be twilight soon, not too late for a snack. 

"I'll get a container," Casey offered, then dashed off towards the house. Zeke smiled at him, then led the way to the picnic table where the food was. He lifted the cover on the graduation cake that Snuffy's  
family had brought. 

Billy had gone to talk to his father, and the Tylers were alone. Zeke's mother placed a hand on Zeke's arm. She looked at him searchingly for a moment, then smiled. "We could came to visit tomorrow, if you don't mind... maybe bring some pizza? You could show us around?" She faltered. "Unless you have other plans?"

"Pizza would be great," Zeke said. "One o'clock?"

"Fine." Awkwardly, she leaned forward and brushed her lips against Zeke's cheek. "Tomorrow at one." She moved back, then stopped. She offered a small but genuine smile. "We are proud of you, Zeke. We're not very good about showing it, but we are."

Zeke looked at her, then at his father, and nodded. He watched his parents hold hands while walking back to their rental car, pausing only to accept the cake Casey had wrapped for them. They smiled and waved as they drove away. Zeke tried to remember the last time he'd seen them smile like that.

"They're coming back tomorrow?" Casey asked as he moved close enough to put his arm around Zeke's waist.

"Umm," Zeke murmured, his eyes unfocused as he stared off in the distance.

"Good." Casey rested his head against Zeke's shoulder. He could hear Billy's voice a short distance away and the sound, combined with Zeke's presence soothed Casey. He could almost close his eyes.

The deep bass of Billy's father's laughter startled him and Casey pulled away to see what was so amusing. Billy and his dad were trading fake punches as they walked towards Mr Tepper's SUV. Billy's step-mother was already in the vehicle.

"Everybody's gone, so we'd better take the hint, too." Billy's father reached out and grabbed Billy, giving him a huge hug. "We'll be back for the chairs and things."

"Sure, Dad. We'll get the rest of this cleaned up tonight and be ready for you."

"Leave it. We'll take care of the clean up tomorrow."

"It's okay. I think we need to wind down a little anyway."

Billy looked over at Casey and Zeke who had gone to take the last of the food inside. They wanted to give Billy time alone with his dad.

"About what you said tonight - " Billy started.

"I meant it, Billy. I won't pretend to understand when I don't, but that doesn't mean I won't accept your choices. All I expect is that you'll be careful. You're smart enough to know the risks of what you're   
doing."

"We're careful."

"Good." Billy's dad reached over and punched him in the arm lightly. "Mr High School Graduate."

They shared a laugh before Billy's dad stepped back. "I don't say it enough, but I'm proud of you, kid."

"Thank you." Billy looked down, blushing lightly. 

"Now let me get out of here so you boys can get some rest. It's been a big day."

Billy smiled. "Yes it has."


	59. Chapter 59

Billy leaned against the door and stared into the refrigerator. He didn't particularly want anything to eat or drink, but his thoughts were too far away to realize that.

"The light does go out when you shut the door."

Billy startled and looked up at Zeke in confusion, having barely registered his words. "What?"

"The light goes out. Here, I'll prove it." Zeke crossed the room, crowding Billy out until he moved away from the fridge door. Zeke shut it firmly. "See, no light." He turned to Billy and laid a hand on the back of his neck, using it to guide the shorter boy.   
"Upstairs."

Billy let himself be led through the house as Zeke checked the doors and windows, making sure everything was closed and locked before he steered Billy to the stairs. He bypassed the bedroom and continued guiding Billy up to the attic playroom where Casey was  
waiting.

The dark green duvet Casey had found at the thrift shop was spread out on the floor, mismatched throw pillows scattered across it. There were candles of different sizes and shapes on the windowsill and several shelves. One of Casey's favorite CDs played softly in the background.

Zeke and Billy barely noticed any of these details - their attention was on the pale form walking towards them. Casey was naked, his skin glowing in the soft light. He smiled seductively but didn't speak.

Instead, he approached silently, stopping at the edge of the duvet, waiting for them to move closer before dropping to his knees in front of Billy. He looked up from beneath long, dark lashes and reached for the button on Billy's jeans.

Billy sucked in a ragged breath and leaned back a little, feeling Zeke behind him, ready to offer support. The taller boy was steadying Billy, but also holding him in place so he could place almost-painful little bites along Billy's neck. Billy moaned quietly and tilted his head to allow Zeke better access.

Casey had worked Billy's jeans open and down so they pooled around Billy's legs. He was pressing kisses to the skin of Billy's abdomen, just above the waistband of his briefs while still fumbling at the laces of Billy's sneakers. Finally Billy found the presence of mind to offer some help and shifted to allow Casey to remove the shoes and jeans.

Casey thanked him with by blowing a long stream of warm air directly against Billy's covered erection. Billy tried to pull away from the intense sensation only to encounter Zeke's hardness.

"Ready to play?" Zeke breathed into his ear and Billy nodded. He suddenly understood that this was their way of apologizing for the love bites they'd given each other earlier. Billy almost laughed - so much had happened that he barely remembered being upset about  
that. Two little marks hardly seemed significant compared to the rest of the afternoon's train wreck of events.

"Billy?" Casey interrupted Billy's thoughts, bringing his attention back to the much more pleasant now. Billy reached out and caught Casey's hair, tugging it gently to urge the young man continue what he had been doing. Casey made a pleased sound in the back of his throat and went back to teasing the soft skin of Billy's left hip.

Zeke was pressed fully against Billy's back, his hands roaming up under Billy's shirt, easing it upward as he explored. Billy knew the shirt wouldn't stay on much longer, nor would his briefs. He was rarely the middle of a Casey-Zeke sandwich, but it was exactly  
what he needed right now - just to let his lovers take care of him.

The briefs were being worked downward with impatient little tugs. Billy decided to help move things along, by kicking them off, then shifting his stance to spread his legs farther apart. He was rewarded by the feel of air against his exposed flesh, and the tease of a finger scratching lightly across his opening.

He shivered with pleasure and then gasped when Zeke pinched both nipples hard. He let Zeke raise his arms and pull his t-shirt off. It was tossed aside and then both of Zeke's hands were on him again, exploring. Billy could feel the fabric of Zeke's clothing  
against his body and wanted to turn around and remove it. He was desperate for skin-to-skin contact. Zeke seemed to know what he was thinking because there was a sudden nothingness behind Billy, and then Zeke was back. This time there was nothing between them but heat.

Casey was tormenting him with fingers now, alternating fingernails lightly rubbing across his entrance, and a single, saliva-moistened digit pressing insistently on that same opening. After one particularly strong push, that finger slid inside a little and Billy thought his legs might give out.

"Time to lay down," Zeke directed, using his hold on Billy's upper body to help guide him down to the duvet. Casey followed their movements, his hands still working on Billy so that once he was comfortably on the floor, Casey was already over him, his mouth  
half-engulfing him just as his finger plunged deep. Billy arched his back, only to find his torso covered by Zeke, his mouth claimed in an open-mouthed kiss.

Billy tried closing his eyes, letting his lovers control everything while he surrendered to pleasure. After a few moments he realized that it was much more pleasurable to see them as they played. He loved the glint of mischief in Zeke's eyes and the wild  
sensuality in Casey's. He needed to touch them and see them react, to watch as they communicated without words.

He reached out for Casey first, his free hand finding the top of Casey's head and twining through Casey's hair. His other arm was trapped by Zeke's body and he could just manage to curl his fingers up and stroke Zeke's hip.

Casey responded to the pressure of Billy's hand on his head by speeding up his movements. He seemed determined to drive Billy over the edge while Zeke held Billy helpless. They both knew how difficult it was for Billy to surrender like this, no matter how  
much he trusted the both of them. Zeke was murmuring reassurances between kisses, his hands gentle even as he kept Billy pinned.

Billy made a helpless sound in the back of his throat as he felt the point of no return approaching. He tightened his grip in Casey's hair, not quite caring if it was painful. He pressed his torso upward, making one last, futile effort to regain control.

Too late.

Zeke released his mouth just as Casey pressed a second finger in. Billy was barely aware of being fully engulfed by Casey's mouth. He cried out desperately against his lack of control as his body spasmed with pleasure. 

There was darkness. 

Falling.

And then he tasted Casey.

And himself.

And he felt the shivery heat of Zeke's tongue dancing patterns across his skin.

He laughed.

It was an uncontrolled giggle flowing up from his chest, tickling as it went until it emerged as full-grown laughter. He was as helpless to stop it as he had been to control his climax. 

He felt Casey's head on his chest and he looked down to see that he was laughing too. Muffled sounds from below told him Zeke had joined in as well. 

Billy found Zeke's head near his thigh and tugged at his hair, urging him up so they could share their amusement. He had no idea what was so funny, but it felt good to laugh so he wasn't going to resist.

"You know you're warped," Zeke managed to tell him between fits of laughter.

Billy nodded his agreement while Casey giggled even harder.

"You're just as bad, Case," Zeke assured the younger man.

Casey grinned and gave Billy a look. Together, they tackled Zeke, wrestling him until he lay beneath the two squirming bodies. The laughter subsided, leaving all three breathless.

Casey lay his head down on Zeke's chest and sighed in contentment. 

"My dad will be here early tomorrow morning," Billy said regretfully after a long, comfortable silence.

"So much for getting wasted tonight." Zeke reached up to toy with Billy's hair, keeping his motions smooth. Casey's breathing was evening out towards sleep and Zeke didn't want to disturb him.

"Let's save the champagne for after the parents have all gone home." Billy turned onto his side and looked down at Casey, then up at Zeke. "I guess going all night is postponed."

Zeke huffed a laugh and flicked Billy's ear.

"Bed?" Casey mumbled sleepily, surprising Billy and Zeke. They thought he'd fallen asleep.

"It's nice right here," Billy replied. His words were a bit slurred and his eyelids were drooping.

"Candles," Zeke reminded them. He shifted Casey to the side and rose, ignoring the sounds of protest. One by one Zeke blew out the flames until the only light was from the stars shining down onto the two bodies curled towards each other on the duvet. The  
faint scent of vanilla lingered in the air, left by one of the extinguished candles. Zeke breathed it in as he looked at his lovers in the semi-dark. He could see the glint of their eyes looking for him.

"Come back," Casey demanded. Billy shifted, pulling up a corner of the duvet to cover them.

Zeke slid into place between them, smiling as they took up their favorite positions - him on his back with Casey's head on his chest and Billy curled against his side.

Casey looked up and kissed the underside of Zeke's jaw before reaching out and twining his fingers with Billy's. 

Linked together, they drifted into sleep.


	60. Chapter 60

It was an omen of bad things to come.

Oversleeping, only to be woken by the sound of Billy's father leaning on the truck horn. Stealing hurried showers alone while clearing away evidence of their camp out in the attic. Hurrying to help Mr. Tepper unload his truck while downing a breakfast of donuts and cola.

Not the best way to start any day. But especially not this one, scheduled full of departing friends and family reunions. The events of the previous day still lingered in the air, adding tension to the growing unease.

Snuffy's awkward phone call just after 9:00 a.m. did nothing to calm the atmosphere. He was apologetic but brief - explaining that his father had been called back to work to handle an emergency and there wasn't time for a final visit. He promised to email and disconnected, leaving Zeke with an earful of dial tone and the task of passing along the news.

Hank and his father arrived early to return the rental chairs and tables, bustling around and adding chaos to the proceedings until Zeke had to slip away or risk hitting something. He waved his goodbye from the upstairs window while thanking Ric for calling. Yogurt was already gone.

Having settled the phone back in its cradle, Zeke sat on the bed and studied the floor. He could hear Billy and his father talking, and the sounds of Casey cleaning up the kitchen. The living room was to be cleared of furniture and drop cloths placed before the work of removing the wallpaper began. They could have waited until it was time to paint, but Casey preferred it this way.

Not even 10:00 a.m. and it was already hot and stuffy, with the promise of a storm later in the day. Billy's dad was certain they'd finish stripping the wallpaper and spackling the walls before the storm hit.

With a sigh, Zeke pushed to his feet and strode downstairs, trying to settle his expression. He was good at playing the uninterested outsider, but he just couldn't seem to pull it together. Instead, he felt awkward and vulnerable - like he was broadcasting every thought  
in his head.

He managed a pale smile for Casey and a nod for Billy and his dad as he passed through the room, gathering up a chair and carrying it into the study where it joined a displaced end table and two lamps.

He helped Casey shift more furniture, making room for the sofa and the rocking chair, the last two pieces of furniture to be moved. Being the tallest of the group, he removed the curtains while Casey ran the ancient vacuum over the worn carpet.

The room echoed faintly when Billy set the armload of scrapers, paint trays and rollers down on the newly-laid drop cloths. Mr Tepper talked them through the process of stripping wallpaper and watched as they each took a wall and started to work.

There wasn't much conversation as they worked so Casey slipped out to the kitchen and turned on the radio. The generic pop music was a welcome break from the silence so no one complained about the occasional Celine Dion or Backstreet Boys tune.

The walls were three-quarters stripped when the sound of a car engine interrupted yet another catchy tune about breaking up with a lover. Casey dropped his scraper and stammered an apology before bending over to retrieve it.

"Looks like your parents are right on time," Mr Tepper said cheerfully. "Let's go help them bring in the pizza."

Billy led the way into the yard with his father at his side. Casey trailed, most of his attention on Zeke and a worried frown on his face. He stopped and turned, holding his hand out to Zeke, but Zeke brushed past, barely touching the hand, eyes focused on the rental car that was now parked in the driveway.

Zeke's father emerged first, unfolding his long legs from the mid-sized sedan and stretching a bit as he stood. Mrs Tyler moved slower, looking at everyone for a moment before opening the car door and climbing out.

"Looks like you're been working hard this morning," Mr Tyler said cheerfully, stepping back to open the rear door. There was a stack of four large pizza boxes and cartons of canned soda. A grocery bag contained an assortment of cookies and two bags of salad.

"Let us help with that," Mr Tepper offered, opening the rear door on the opposite side of the car and handing boxes and bags out to the boys. When everything was out of the car, Billy led the parade up to the house and into the kitchen.

Casey had laid out paper plates and plastic utensils along with napkins, oregano and salt. He set his burden down and reached into the cupboard for bowls for the salad, then took the only bottle of salad dressing out of the fridge.

"We've only got Ranch dressing," he told Mrs Tyler with an apologetic shrug of his shoulders. "We don't eat much salad."

"That's fine, Casey. I prefer it without dressing."

"So do I." Zeke grinned lazily and pushed off from the doorframe where he had been leaning, unnoticed. He crossed the room to stand behind Casey, draping his arms around the smaller man's neck and pressing against his back. He lifted one hand and slid it under the hem of Casey's shirt, lifting it enough to expose a small patch of flesh.

"Zeke." Casey shifted uncomfortably and reached out to set the dressing on the table, only to feel Zeke pressing hard against his back. Zeke's breath was hot on his neck.

Blushing, Casey glanced at Zeke's mother, watching as she opened her mouth, then closed it again, jaw set. She was clearly trying to keep herself calm as she reached down to open pizza boxes. She fussed with the plates and napkins, ignoring Zeke's possessive hold on Casey and the way his hands slipped under clothing while his mouth pressed, wet and open, against Casey's neck.

"Zeke," Casey hissed, trying to push his lover away. He was furious and embarassed at being put on display this way.

"What's wrong?" Zeke replied, giving Casey a smirk even while his eyes threw a challenge at his mother.

"Stop it!" Casey pulled away hard, slamming into a counter before turning and racing from the room. He dodged Billy and Zeke's father before reaching the steps and pounding his way up to the third floor.

"What's happening?" Billy demanded, noticing how Zeke's mother didn't seem able to meet Zeke's eyes. "Zeke?"

"Nothing." Zeke leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring. He frowned at Billy's expression of disbelief. Zeke's father glanced at wife and she gave a small shake of her head in return.

"Zeke?" Billy asked again, taking a step forward. He felt a hand on his arm and turned to look at Mr. Tyler.

"Let it go," Zeke's father urged, giving his son a look. Deliberately he picked up a plate and selected a piece of pizza, his back turned towards Zeke.

"Yeah. Let it go," Zeke echoed. "Ignore the brat. Pretend he's not here. You're good at that."

"Zeke," Mrs Tyler protested, looking at her husband with the air of someone fighting a hopeless battle.

"We didn't come here to fight with you, Zeke," Mr. Tyler said calmly, placing salad in a bowl.

"Of course not. You just wanted to remind yourself how right you'd been to take off all those years ago. Get away from me when I was too young to follow." Zeke pushed off the counter and took a step forward but Billy blocked his path.

"You're not proving anything like this. Why don't you eat some pizza, go out for a walk. Whatever it takes to stop being such a dick."

Zeke glared down at his lover. He felt the fury building, the blind need to lash out. Shoving his clenched fists into his pockets, he stepped back and forced a smile. "Right."

Without a glance at his parents, Zeke brushed past Billy's dad, who'd been watching everything from the doorway. He slammed out the front door and stalked across the yard towards his workshop.

It took every ounce of self-control he had not to scream or run. Or look back at Casey, who he could feel watching from the upstairs window.  
*****

It always turned out like this. 

Zeke surveyed the wreckage and idly noted that he didn't feel even the smallest bit better. He never did after one of these little events. Casey witnessed one right after the alien fiasco and asked if Zeke was redecorating. That smartass tone made Zeke want to claim Casey right there in the middle of the ruins - instead Zeke made Casey help clear away the debris. God, he was an idiot.

Still was, he reminded himself, reaching down to straighten the overturned stool. It listed a bit to one side, but it was still usable. The small table wasn't as lucky - it lay at an awkward angle, one of its legs in pieces. 

Shards from an old jar glittered along the far wall, reflecting the afternoon sun onto the walls in bright patches. Casey would like that, Zeke decided while he reached for the broom.

The patches were gone along with the glass when footsteps sounded on the wooden steps. Slow, deliberate tread meant Casey. Billy would have moved faster and louder.

"Don't bother," Zeke said by way of greeting. "I'm not about to go back there and play nice."

"Of course not." Casey's tone was weary. "Why should you make any effort? Or even pretend to be civil to your parents when they're trying so hard. So what? Fuck'em." Casey prowled the edges of the large room - the space Zeke had chosen for his workshop. There wasn't much in it - just some odds and ends that had been left there or had been claimed from other buildings.

"Exactly," Zeke agreed vehemently. "You know what they're like, Case. There's no way I'm playing their game by pretending to buy their bullshit."

"No." Casey shook his head, then turned and looked out the window. "Because punishing them is more important than making any effort to reconcile."

"Reconcile!" Zeke slammed his fist down onto a nearby shelf, rattling the old cans of nails and bolts. "How can you." He strode over to Casey and grabbed his shoulders, forcibly turning the smaller man. "How can you even suggest that, Case? I thought you of all people would understand."

"Well, I don't. You don't have the exclusive on parental abandonment, Zeke. And yours are here now. They're trying. And you're doing everything you can to ruin what might be your only chance to make things better with them." Casey looked away, eyes bright. "You can't do that Zeke. You can't."

"I don't understand," Zeke growled, hands clenched into fists, aching to lash out, but afraid of what he'd break if he did.

"That's why you have to talk to them. So they can make you understand. And if they can't, or if they won't, then you'll have at least tried. You won't have to wonder for the rest of your life if there was something that you could have done."

"Why should I have to do anything?" Zeke demanded. He didn't understand this. How could Casey stand there so calmly and ask this of him?

"Because sometimes people fuck up. Even parents. Sometimes they're afraid, or confused or just plain stupid. And sometimes they get over it." Casey reached out and laid his hands over Zeke's fists. "I know what I'm asking. I know it's hard. You can tell me to leave you alone and I will. Or you can come back to the house and ask every one of those questions you've wanted to ask of your parents." Casey dropped his hands and took a step back. "It's your choice."

Zeke stared hard at Casey, searching his face, his eyes, for anything that might help him make sense of it all. He didn't find it. Instead he found Casey's familiar almost-smile and a sense of calm assurance that soothed him. Zeke leaned closer, hesitating before pressing his mouth to Casey's. He wrapped his long arms around that thin frame and pulled Casey hard against him. A long moment of silence and Zeke eased out of the contact, straightening his back and lifting his head. He offered Casey a single nod before leading the way down the steps, across the yard and into the house.


	61. Chapter 61

"There you are." Billy leaned against a tree, crossing his arms, apparently settling in for a long wait. 

"You escaped the happy house of parental harmony I see." 

"For now. Dad took off a few minutes ago. He's taking the step mom out shopping. You planning on photographing every blade of grass or just the really interesting ones?" 

"Are you suggesting I should photograph boring grass?" Casey rolled onto his back and squinted up at Billy. His clothes were grass-streaked and there were a few old leaves in his hair. 

"You're a freak. Come on." Bill pushed away from the tree, reaching down with an open hand. Casey grasped it and let Billy pull him upright. He stood close as Billy pulled the leaves from his hair and brushed the debris off his clothes. 

"Is everything...?" 

"Yeah. No explosions. It sounded like they were getting ready to leave." 

"I couldn't stay there." 

"Zeke knows, Case. He knows. It's okay." Billy pulled Casey into an awkward embrace and patted his back. It felt stupid and wrong when they were so intimate, and after a moment, Casey settled into the contact. Finally he felt some of the tension easing out of Billy. They were much more relaxed when they separated. 

"I guess we should get back." 

"Yeah." 

Walking in silence was okay. It put no demands on either of them, and the rest of the tension eased. 

"Hey," Zeke called from the porch as they emerged from the trees. The rental car was gone and Zeke seemed okay, if a little tired. 

"I cleaned up the kitchen," he told them as they joined him on the porch. "It still kind of smells in there, because of the paint." 

"Looks nice though," Casey pronounced as he bent to peer through the window into the freshly painted living room. The room did look nice - brighter and bigger, even with the furniture back in place. 

"It's not even supper time and I'm wiped," Zeke admitted, settling onto one of the chairs and leaning it back on two legs until he was resting against the house. 

"Yeah," Billy agreed taking a seat as well, leaving the porch swing for Casey, who settled onto it gratefully. 

It was silent for a long time, with none of the young men willing or interested in talking. After a while, Zeke began to snore. 

"Guess he was tired," Billy said quietly, making a face that caused Casey to giggle. 

"Not a bad idea, though," Casey said almost wistfully. He shifted, resting his head against the arm of the swing. 

"Not for long," Billy cautioned. "You'll be knotted up like a pretzel if you sleep like that." 

"Just a few minutes," Casey mumbled, already drifting away. Billy just shook his head and closed his own eyes. 

XXXXX 

Casey woke gently, coming back to awareness without any panic or anxiety. There had been less of those frantic awakenings lately, but it still surprised him to wake so easily, without his heart beating wildly and his mouth dry. 

Stretching to relieve the tension caused by the uncomfortable position he'd ended up in, Casey looked at his partners, still both sound asleep and looking as if they might stay that way for a while. He smiled at the sudden sense of freedom, of having precious time to himself after so much excitement. 

Sliding off the swing, he tiptoed off the porch, carefully avoiding the squeaky step. Once in the grass, he kicked off his shoes and wandered off towards Billy's new car. The Dean had promised to help Casey use some of his money to buy a good used car and Casey was eager to get started shopping. He knew it wouldn't be much, but then, honestly, none of them were driving luxury vehicles. Casey just wanted the thrill of being able to go where he wanted, when he wanted. It wasn't just for his his freedom, it was also to take some of the burden off Zeke and Billy. He didn't want them to feel obligated to cart him around. 

No, a car was another important step in their relationship - a way of making things equal. He'd leaned on Billy and Zeke a lot since their relationship started. He'd needed them and they'd given him the strength and courage to move past the pain towards a future where they could fully support each other. 

The wind stirred the trees to his left and Casey headed towards them, no real destination in mind. He just needed to move as his mind worked through his chaotic thoughts. 

They had obligations tomorrow - his meeting with the Dean, Billy spending time with his father, Zeke's parents taking them to dinner. On Tuesday it was back to the doctor's for another visit. She'd told them she'd continue to meet with them through the summer. Casey hadn't been happy about that at first, nor had Billy and Zeke. But now... he couldn't make the others keep going, but for himself... perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea. At least until the fall when he started his college classes. The Dean had done so much for him - for all of them. Casey wanted to be stronger, to prove their faith in him was justified. But mostly he wanted... 

Smiling, he stopped, looking up at the trees for a moment, savoring one more moment of peaceful solitude before returning to where he belonged. 

Billy and Zeke were waiting for him, sleepy-eyed and smiling when he walked into their embrace. Casey wrapped his arms around them, closing the circle. 

There was leftover pizza in the fridge and a case of beer in the cellar. There might even be a conveniently hidden box of donuts for later. They had more than enough DVDs for a marathon and there was a fresh supply of condoms and lube in the bedroom. 

Tomorrow was the start of a busy week, but tonight was all theirs. 

"Dibs on the pepperoni!" Casey yelled, wrestling past the others to get into the house and at the pizza first. 

"In your dreams, Case!" Billy shouted, chasing after him while Zeke held back long enough to close and lock the front door. He'd take whatever pizza was left. More importantly, he used the distraction to lay claim to the remote. As Zeke flipped through channels, Casey climbed over the back of the sofa and settled in, handing a plate with two slices of pizza to Zeke before taking a huge bite of his own. 

Billy settled in on Zeke's other side, leaning down to put Zeke's beer on the floor. He made a feint for the remote, then laughed with his mouth full, making Casey snicker. Zeke settled on a ridiculous teen comedy from the 80's and slid the remote between the cushions of the sofa before picking up his pizza. Casey pressed in a little closer and   
giggled at a the outdated computer used in the movie. Zeke reached down for his beer and felt Billy settle against his arm. 

The pizza was warm, the beer cold and the sofa was comfortable. Billy had his arm around Zeke's shoulder tickling the back of Casey's neck and making him giggle even more than the movie. Casey's face was half-pressed against Zeke's shoulder in an attempt to stifle his laughter. Caught in the middle, Zeke, finished his pizza, a smile on his face that had nothing to do with the movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you: to Vshendria for sticking with this all the way to the end. It was a better journey thanks to you.   
> Thank you also: to everyone who read this story - especially to those of you who have waited so patiently. I hope you enjoy the ending.   
> There are more tales in this 'verse, but after seven years of writing, this story is finished.


End file.
